Deadspin
We will confess, a little bit of Paul Shirley's I'm A WRITER Who Happens To Play Basketball! schtick goes a long way. He's mostly amusing, we guess, but he has a tendency to overwrite — like we can talk — and seems a little too proud of himself from time to time. That said, he's entertaining, and we're absolutely going to buy his book. And we can't help but love his ESPN chat yesterday, in which he referred to Kobe Bryant as "the biggest douche I've ever met."
Of course, ESPN edited out the line.
Ted, The SLC: Paul, the chat isn't even done yet and you've already been censored...your Kobe post has been removed from the chat. I'll always remember it though. Nice to see someone speak his mind about a superstar.
SportsNation Paul Shirley: Fantastic. I wonder if it was the descriptor or the comment itself...
We're gonna say it was a little bit of both. Obviously, ESPN censoring its chats is nothing new — they do it to Simmons all the time, acts that made him so furious that he signed on for another four years — but we think The Big Lead asks a legitimate question: Is "douche" a bad word? Sweet heavens, we hope not.
Blogger/Baller Paul Shirley Calls Kobe Bryant A 'Douche' In An ESPN Chat And The Four-Letter Erases It [The Big Lead]
Can I Keep My Jersey? [Amazon]
Comments
So...is MSNBC gay friendly now or something? 'Cause looking at their new a banner...
Al Sharpton demands that Paul Shirley be fired from his SportsNation gig.
Calling someone a cleansing agent is hardly a bad thing.
Douche Variant Of The Day: Someone you don't like who is a writer could be a synedouche.
Douche-bags are hygienic products, I take that as a compliment. Thank you.
I've corresponded a little with Paul Shirley via myspace b/c we share an acquaintance and he actually seems pretty cool.
Perhaps he could've just compared Kobe to a fresh summer's eve, and it would've gotten through.
"Douche" is no more offensive than "handful of Gold Bond."
He's mostly amusing, we guess, but he has a tendency to overwrite -- like we can talk -- and seems a little too proud of himself from time to time.
Why, no wonder Simmons loves him!
Now listening to Apache by The Sugarhill Gang:
I mean does he seriously have to tell us everything he is listening too. Besides that hes ok and Yes Kobe Bryant is a Douche.
C'mon, Paul, I thought we covered this: Schrutebag. Schrutebag. Fun to type, funner to say.
I think calling Kobe an enema would have been more appropriate, all things considered.
@MitchKayak: Will you teach me about this, what is it? New way?
@MitchKayak: 10 points for the Wet Hot American Summer reference.
ESPN keeps ###ging out.
Ok, so do we know ESPN's policy on "enema?"
@Weed Against Speed: Damnit.
The MVP race between Giant Douche and Turd Sandwich is going to be riveting.
The hilarity of the situation aside, did Shirley actually cite any specific reasons why he considers Kobe to be a douche? I mean, he says he's met the guy, so I would've liked to hear some supporting details. I'm just saying.
I am serious, and don't call me Shirley
@ArkansasFred: maybe the Lakers could start their own version of the Sausages or Presidents races. Giant Douche, Turd Sandwich and Jackwad could race around the court every halftime.
@The Big Picture:
Possibly one of the greatest movies ever.
The more important question is what exactly was said?? #### ESPN.
@MitchKayak: Definitely one of the greatest movies ever.
Fixed.
ESPN smells like a burger.
If saying the word 'douche' is wrong, I don't ever want to be right.
Why doesn't Shirley have his own ESPN show yet?
@Len Bias Cocaine Surplus:
He's too talented and doesn't yell enough.
@DennyCrane:
Andy, have you seen my swimming buddy? I can't find him and I'm telling Beth you let him drown.
I was busy.
Is Schrutebag
Dammit, Nibbles!
Is 'Schrutebag' censored yet?
@DennyCrane: I could go for some burgers..... fur burgers.
NPH = God
So...is MSNBC gay friendly now or something? 'Cause looking at their new a banner...
MSNBC is in kind of a tough situation, 'cause it likes rainbows, but it's not gay - but it's not against being gay, you know what it means, if other people are gay. So it ends up with, like, situations where it have a rainbow on something, but then under it it puts, like, "Not gay," but then under that in parentheses it says, "But supportive."
@Weed Against Speed: Can we blackface him? Would that help?
I'm wondering, if Paul Shirley was ever on Rome Is Burning and Jim Rome wanted to piss him off, would he call him Laverne?
From the Paul Shirley chat yesterday:
Tim Hardaway would not approve...
Are there any advantages to playing over in Europe as opposed to the NBA?
SportsNation Paul Shirley: (3:04 PM ET ) 1. Good wine is cheaper here. 2. I actually get to play. 3. I constantly get to see uncircumcised dudes in the shower.
@McBain: See, I just felt like the film was an overwrought version of 'Dazed and Confused'
@44 in a Row:
These are sames and opposites, my friend.
@Weed Against Speed: I'm guessing he'd just start talking and that would do the trick.
@DennyCrane: Only three people read Paul Shirley's chat: Me Myself and I.
@44 in a Row: I think its funny a group took refracted light. Pretty greedy, gays.
@Glossina Glossinidae: So I'm guessing you can type schmegma without being censored. Good to know.
@McBain:
I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.
@Baba Oje:
+5 for physics humor
Anyone know if a Black person can say "douche"? I've never used it myself and can't say that I've ever heard the word from anyone other than white folk. Do you guys have ownership of "douche"? Seriously, I'd like a ruling on this by the end of the day.
Paul thinks Kobe is a douche...
hmmmmm - to steal from Chappelle:
"that's just jealousy"
@That Bootleg Guy: Yes, but we are willing to give licensing rights to you. Only five cents per usage.
Paul Shirley might have a tendency to overwrite but considering he was an engineering major, the fact that he can put together complete sentences at all is a victory.
"Where do you keep your copy of Paul Shirley's book?"
"Next to my dick cream."
espn should look on the bright side. at least he didn't call kobe a rapist.
@RestoretheRoar: OT, but you do understand the term "realistic", right? I mean, it's OK to be Lions fan; just remember only certain teams get to win at least 7 games a season.
@That Bootleg Guy:
I, for one, am glad to hear that you never used a douche.
From his myspace page:
//I think the world would be a better place if people watched less television and read more books, if the girls I see at bars were 20% thinner and 35% smarter, and if Percocet were sold over the counter. //
He likes his women skinny, smart and drugged up.
Good man, Paul.
"He likes his women skinny, smart and drugged up."
As opposed to the rest of us, who are looking for fat, stupid & sober?
//As opposed to the rest of us, who are looking for fat, stupid & sober?//
Touche.
I just see an irony in what his myspace page relays and his calling KOBE a douche.