Deadspin
If you have attempted to access The Big Lead over the last 24 hours, the attractive image above — good Lord, those rectangles are ENORMOUS ... and they're headed straight for us! — is all you've been able to see. It's pretty, but it ain't that pretty.
That's right, folks: Almost 24 hours after Colin Cowherd's little stunt yesterday, The Big Lead is still down. We contacted the editor to see how they were hanging in. Here's their report:
It's a weird, powerless feeling - we're on the playground with the rest of the first graders and, without provocation, some angry-at-the-world sixth grader comes over and drops you with a roundhouse you didn't see coming. What's that about, Colin? We still don't know if this was your sly way of saying you enjoy the site, or whether you did it so people would 'talk about you.' Either way, thanks. Major kudos are in order to sports bloggers everywhere. And readers, too. The support has been incredible.
The best part: With the blog down, we finally get to leave our parents' basement and see the light of day! What a productive Easter weekend it'll be!
Meanwhile, Cowherd's show starts soon. The guys at KSK have been trying to come up with a universally accepted name for which Cowherd shall heretofore be known, and they have settled on "Schrutebag." We find that one perfect. From now on, he's Schrutebag.
This Hurts Us More Than It Hurts You, Schrutebag [Deadspin]
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enormous glassy rectangles heading toward Earth...
yep, Zod is on his way
I believe it was the Mayans who predicted falling glass rectangles would be the end of us.
He really Schrutebagged that one.
Douche on Dork crime. *sigh*
@Jerkwheat: enormous glassy rectangles heading toward Earth...yep, Larry King is on his way
Fixed in horror.
@Tuffy: may God have mercy on our souls
I was hoping they'd settle on Cuntface Cowfuck.
Ladies...
At your darkest hour, when everything seems to be going wrong and the world is against you, just remember at least you're not married to that asshat.
Let's lead a counterattack on the WWL's website! We shall not take this lying down! We must fight back! WHo will take a stand? Who is with me...!? ?!
Anyone...?
...fine, whatever...
hey Cowherd, can you say "fiiiiiiiiiiiiii'yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa'd"?????
The dick has a webcam now. I'm going to throw up those most unflatering photos I can as a running diary. Hopefully the photoshopping can begin?
I really, really wish I had the time to put together the appropriate FCC/Computer Crimes case against Schrutebag.
Sadly, it's not a private cause of action, so all we can do is hope that the FCC is a fan of the Big Lead, too.
@AwfulAnnouncing: what i was thinking. i just don't think i have the stomach to stare at him for that long.
Dear Schrutebag:
You are sad, sad loser. Please go away.
Sincerely,
SS
Sadly, it's not a private cause of action...
au' contraire my friend
Anyone willing to train a pony to bite people's weiners off? Such an action would eventually lead to Cowherd unsuspectingly eating his ground-up parents in a bowl of chili.
@AwfulAnnouncing:
"Hopefully the photoshopping can begin?"
I will second that.
The dick has a webcam now. I'm going to throw up those most unflatering photos I can as a running diary. Hopefully the photoshopping can begin?
That doesn't sound like much of a challenge, you know.
good lord, Deadspin's got more lawyers than my synagogue.
i never thought i would live to see that day someone would just skyrocket past Darren Prince on the Douche-ometer.
After all the joy Colin Cowherd has brought to the world, he has to go and do something like this. Sigh.
@Unsilent Majority: Crafty ones, too.
@Unsilent Majority:
+1. Brilliant.
@Get Him A Body Bag, Yeah!: Are you suggesting a Chili Con Carnival? I'm in...
Here's the link.....do your worst....and don't bother linking me just destroy his rat looking face. I think we can come up with a pretty fabulous collection.
http://awfulannouncing.blogspot.com/2007/04/colin-cowherd-...
P.S.- They put the f'ing Dice-K jersey on his chair after he verbally fellated him for about 5 minutes to start the show.
Imagine being the kind of retard who listens to Cowherd and then goes and helps crash someone's website for no good reason. I guess that kind of person deserves to be a fan of a moron like Cowherd.
I heard that if you say Schrutebag's name in a mirror three times, he doesn't do anything. At first. But when you turn around to leave he shoots you in the back.
And we were all so proud of Schrutebag when he went and threw the One Ring into Mount Doom. Back to the Shire with ya, niblet.
Oh....and send them to theherd@espnradio.com
Cowherds can't be Hiros
@lieutenant winslow:
Sadly, it's not a private cause of action...
au' contraire my friend
Might we be a Class, Counselor?
@crgfyb: Please tell you me were typing that in a sarcastic way...
Colin Cowherd is the radio equivalent of the ackward phone call to an ex to explain the burning sensation when you pee...
If this guy is truly out douche-ing Darren Prince, I won't believe it until I see someone named Schrutebag.
Hopefully, it'll be Cowherd himself.
Crawlin' Coward.
Might we be a Class, Counselor?
We're nothing if not classy.
Crafty ones, too
not for nothing, but... i never got why my that whole "i got bigtime jew lawyers" thing was so offensive to people. i kinda take it as a compliment.
@lieutenant winslow:
the Computer Crimes Act is a criminal statute the last I checked. (??) I'm sure there is a state-based cause of action we can use... but I'd rather see Schrutebag spend some time in Federal Pound Me in the Ass prison.
Dear Schrutebag:
In the future, please use your power of suggestion for good. Instruct your sheep-like audience to throw themselves from tall objects and submit to the will of gravity.
The world is then out several thousand dumbasses, while your ratings go to zero and you are off the air.
It's win-win really.
I, for one, welcome our Plesk overlords.
And as an added bonus, he claims he's about to start talking about Japanese monster culture. Yet another subject area I spent a lot of time on in college. Let's see how he fucks this one up.
Good lord, you can WATCH Cowherd's show online? Who would want to watch this joker?
Wait....the webcast is playing Panic at the Disco at the commercial break?!?!?!?!
Hahahahahahaha.....loser.
Am I the only one here who likes Dwight Schrute, and hates to see him associated with Cowherd?
And all this computer mumbo-jumbo is WAY over my head. "I have no idea what's goin' on..."
I think TBL fumbled the ball a little bit on this one. Powerless? Roundhouse?? Those are words of capitulation.
Why not just say "We're thrilled! Now we've got en entire blogosphere against Cowherd for eternity, and our site traffic will only increase from this. Not to mention we get time out of our basements... yada, yada, yada."
And oh yea-- screw you, Schrutebag.
So wait, if we're calling him Shrutebag now? Any chance we can convince him that the CIA wants him as an employee and that he should wait on top of Bristol hq for the helicopter to arrive?
Shrute, throw your phone!
In hockey news, the NHL has determined that Schrutebag spit on the Ice Girls.
My two personal favorites so far....
Photo 1
Photo 2
@44 in a Row: Black people don't like Japanese monster culture; that's why he doesn't talk about Eddie Robinson.
@grungedave: The Computer Fraud and Abuse Act provides for criminal and civil relief. (Up to 10 years in prison, FYI)
Actually, SlickBomb, I think a more appropriate response might have been along the lines of, "How pathetic are you or maybe financially compared to The Big Lead how broke are you or sexually you probably have not had the amount of women your whole life that The Big Lead has had just in the past year."
@grungedave:
tortious interference with a business relationship, harassment, intentional infliction of emotional distress, douchebaggery, malicious douchebaggery, negligent douchebaggery,
The best part: With the blog down, we finally get to leave our parents' basement and see the light of day!
TBL uses the royal "we" too? Man, I can't wait until I have my own blog.
Why is Shrutebag talking about fashion?
Ok, he's talking about Mothra, though. Mothra is kinda cool. Same with Rhodan.
@HeavyPettingZoo: Yes. Maybe Dwight can spray him with pepper spray and defend his name
@OchentaYcinco: Don't you mean "We can't wait until we have our own blog?"
Might as well start mentally preparing...
@lieutenant winslow: I'll have to check with a few of my lawyer friends, but I think your charges of douchebaggery may not apply in all states. Maybe we can charge Schrutebag with douchebaggery in federal court.
Talk about starting your own blog.....that was quick....
http://schrutebag.blogspot.com/
@lieutenant winslow: Enough with this law bullshit. It's time we formed a Big Unruly Mob.
I hate to point out the obvious, but with the increased viewership today (despite it being born of hate), doesn't that just encourage/justify this kind of douchbaggery in Cowherd's eyes?
Colin Cowherd left three 6 figure jobs to work at ESPN! And he works there and you don't. He is so much better than all of us.
@AwfulAnnouncing: "Uh i like sports, i try to be funny. I want to be a deadspin commentor."
I find this genuinely endearing. A for effort and all