Deadspin
This is Marques Slocum, defensive tackle for the Michigan Wolverines. He has a Facebook page. And it's quite glorious.
He has answered some of his own questions on his page. They're quite fun. Every Day Should Be Saturday has all the gory details.
Do you own any pets, and if so what do you have?
i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me
Who do you admire most?
My mom CARLA, dat bitch da shit, i love her i think she da realest bitch alive
When do you plan on getting married? it dont matta cuz i hope my wife know ima be playa 4 life
There's so much more. We're totally getting a fuck lion.
A Hero For Our Time [Every Day Should Be Saturday]
Comments
I bet CARLA is sooooo proud. She da proudes bitch ever.
He's hoping to get drafted in the first round by the Detroit Fuck Lions.
He wouldn't happen to be related to Laurence "Kool Aid" Maroney?
He only admires real bitches ... can't argue with that.
And to think Jim Harbaugh said they were lowering their academic standards...
I opted for the F**K Ocelot- more nimble if you know what I mean.
He must have scored well on his ACT's.
It's like LOLCats turned to ebonics.
Anyone know where I can get my mother a "da realest bitch alive" t-shirt? "World's greatest mom" just seems so bland now.
A fuck lion I can deal with, just keep the blowjob bears over on Gawker.
Walking past a beggar, spare change or ignore?
shit ima be askin him 4 sum change
Priceless.
Judging from his answers, I see the greatest playwright to come from Michigan since Arthur Miller.
My head hurts after reading that. I'm also guessing that if his favorite element is water that he is not a chemistry major.
A fuck lion? I want mine to say, "I do believe in spooks, I do believe in spooks. I do, I do, I do, I do, I do believe in spooks."
fuck disney
@Chicago Jones: I went with the Fuck Impala- them fuckas is fast!
Ok, people were making jokes about how easy it is to get into Michigan State last night. In high school, I knew a kid who was Taiwanese, awesome at math and scinece, and wanted to be an engineer, and Michigan put him on a waiting list. He went to tOSU.
Would you rather lose an arm or a leg?
what da fuck! i needs bof of my muthafuckin body parts
No wonder Michigan can't beat tOSU - the fucking guy's only got one arm and one leg.
I swear I saw this guy in Hamsterdam the other night.
I used fuck a girl that worked at Food Lion. Is that relevant?
lets get some construda in this muthafucka...
The 96 Impala SS is a baaaaaaaaaaaad car. I approve
If you could have one super human power what would you choose?
come on now i wanna fly i hate walkin dat shit overrated
Yes, walking is overrated. Preach on, good sir.
I think his facebook page is racist and gay-bashing.
/girl detective
Hometown: 46 & WOODLAND AVE (LINMORE BITCH), PA
Marques Slocum makes me proud to be a Philadelphian too.
"Would you rather lose an arm or a leg?
what da fuck! i needs bof of my muthafuckin body parts"
Ned, is that you?
Define yourself in 3 words…
im da shit
I don't think there's a better possible answer.
Is it wrong that this guy scares the crap out of me?
Ookie has a few extra rape stands floating around if you're feeling horny and the Fuck Lion isnt in the mood.
his admissions application must've been a hoot.
Seriously, did the guys over at The Dugout write this. If this is real I'm somewhat impressed that he drank a 40 oz. bottle of malt liquor that fast.
I like how this question seemed to stump him for a moment, and he expressed the amount of time he thought about it via the ellipse.
Favorite element?
i would have 2 go with………….. water
@J-No: It would be wrong if he didn't.
Fuck Lion > Sex Panther
@PenskeMaterial: ...hon.
@Stev D: I'm partial to the 95 Caprice Classic myself
@Upstate Underdog: he's ready 4 da boot!
what da fuck is cold cereal
Well it's cereal...but, not hot...you know...oh nevermind.
@TastesLikeBurning: I CAN HAZ FUK LYIN?
is it too late to nominate him for the Deadspin HOF ?
Fuck Lion is the next great Deadspin catchphrase.
"Do you like bananas?
do u"
If he interviewed himself, this question could have lasted for hours.
@Hit Bull Win Steak: The essay written in crayon.
@throwbot: Good to know he is familiar with the movie "Beerfest".
What would you do if Michael Jackson asked you out
I be like yea and den ima rob em', ima steal all his shit and im stealin bubbles and im sellin dat muthafucka
One post about this guy and he's already a legend.
Space, bitches.
@Suss--: He's like Prince.
@Mackey Sassers Right Arm: My first car was a '78 Monte Carlo. I loved that car.
@throwbot: I hope he knows the secret is in the twist.
@Da_Mang:
The Anal Aardvark beats them all.
He's still single, you know, wookin pa nub in all da wong paces
@PeteJäyhawk™: That answer was actually clever
Favorite fruit?
watermelon
***Gold Jerry, GOLD!***
Wait, I thought we were only doing DHoF for this year? Is this an early candidate for next year, considering it seems that no one is getting in this year?
Seriously kids...Pacman? Ned? These are surefire hall of famers.
"Nice f**k marmot."
Gotta pass a test?
Lloyd Carr is so proud. Goddamn dirty bastard Wolverines...
T-Mobile, U.S. Cellular, Cingular/AT&T, or Sprint/Nextel
sprint/nextel bitch! dey got da best phones
Never too early to work up some endorsements