Miguel's gonna forget how to speak english a la Sammy Sosa

Lord have mercy, I'm officially PDFed out.

FUUUUUUCK

Rafeal Palmerio is laughing

He makes up for Bagwell missing the list.

Hey Baltimore, we'll trade you back Tejada for Patton and a box of Cheez-its...whaddya say???

At least he didn't write "for steroids" in the memo.

Ummm... who gives a fuck about this?

This is just a giant media circle jerk.

Drop the dick and step away from the circle!

At the press conference, Mitchell produced a red Sharpie and wrote "COWARD!" at the end of page 204.

"Canseco: Tejada and I had a secret weapon"

Anyone else expecting to hear something different here?

"King Kong Ain't Got Nothin'... on Me!"
-B12 Vitamins

@District 5 Dangler: Thee steroids! They is sooo reeeeel

Miguel, you forgot to fill out the memo on the check.

If you're not going to be truthful and write "For Steriods" at least write something funny, like "Blow job" or "Butt Sex."

@Chicago Jones: damn you jones.

This is the second best Deadspin day Evah.

(1st is The Day ESPN.COM Died)

Miggy: "Wow, Adam...you're in pretty good shape. Rock-hard abs. Firm, sculpted glutes. Biceps you could crack walnuts with. Glistening pecs...."

Geez, those checks are boring. He couldn't spring the extra $14.50 for some rainbow or landscape design?

They cheated! In a game! Is nothing sacred!

@ILoveIt:
"Those walnuts are my testicles."

@katolesce: Public reaction to this report and the effect the report has on the sport of baseball will dictate general acceptance (or lack thereof) of PEDs in professional sports on a go forward basis. I think we're looking at a sea change in sports, just like Watergate changed politics.

In other words, it's important if you care about sports.

I'll be honest, his cursive is exactly like they teach you in 3rd grade -- straight from the alphabet they post up on the wall.

For some reason this makes me admire him.

@Spectacular Sam: Jason Grimsely is your man. Tulips! And something that looks like a dude leaning against a fence.

Houston, you have a n/m Will made that joke just now.

Should I be concerned that I have been compared to Miguel Tejada as a baseball player?

God, I could use $3100 bucks.

The whole I invited him to comment and he said no like is the new are you or have you ever been a communist

Our new bride has herpes.

/Houston

Ah the inevitable steroid-report backlash. I had over 4 hours post, so I lose.

@quick:

I am intrigued by your ideas, and wish to subscribe to your circle jerk.

Seriously, with the foofara surrounding this report you'd think they gave away secrets to the Chinese.

This is probably the 987,186th biggest problem facing America. But it's great for headline-grabbing political grandstanding!

From ESPN's comments:

"Mo Vaughn....damn...the y went way back, didn't they?

Elect Jim Rice to the HoF!"

[www.bugsandcranks.com] Comment 2.

Caveat emptor.

@StuScott Booyahs: New York Times front page headline tomorrow: "STEROID USE RAMPANT IN MLB"

Bush's urge for a 70 billion dollar "emergency funding" will get pushed to page 13.

I wonder what "Blue Horseshoe Loves Anacot Steel" would sound like in spanish?

@Scout: +1, I about pissed my pants.

@Ladies Love Fennis: I opened the doors for you... showed you how the steroids work... the value of good syringes... how to *get it*! and this is how you fucking pay me back you COCKROACH

@Ladies Love Fennis: You stop sending me information, and you start getting me some.

+1000 to the guy that got the Orioles the advance copy