Deadspin
So, you know how the whole New Jersey Nets brass was concerned about how ugly the Jason Kidd-Joumana Kidd divorce proceedings might get? Well, The Smoking Gun has Joumana's countersuit to Jason's suit against her, and, holy cow, this thing really escalated fast. It's a huge document, so we're just gonna quote TSG's summary.
According to Joumana, Kidd has engaged in extramarital affairs with "several different television reporters," as well as strippers in Arizona, Sacramento, Miami, Dallas and Indiana, a Nets season ticket holder, a Nets' employee, and a cheerleader in New Orleans. Joumana also contends that she recently discovered a prepaid cell phone of his containing text messages and naked photos sent by various women. Joumana portrays Kidd as a masochistic binge drinker and excessive gambler who began beating her even before the pair's 1997 marriage. She claims that Kidd assaulted her while she was pregnant with the couple's first child and has struck her with everything from a large rock to a cookie. Once, after Kidd kicked her in the stomach causing blood to appear in her urine, Joumana alleges that he told her, "I don't give a fuck."
Uh, yipes. The court blacked out the names of the couple's children in the document to protect them, and yeah, well, they should be totally fine now.
Wife: Jason Kidd A Serial Abuser, Adulterer [The Smoking Gun]
Comments
...AND he gave Barbaro laminitis.
Cross off Jason Kidd's name on the New Jersey Nets possible #### player list.
Unless those cell phone pictures are actually Salibury's junk and not naked women.
My question after reading that is "he hit her with a cookie?"
"From a large rock to a cookie?"
Should that have started with the smallest object and moved towards the biggest? Unless cookie is street slang for, like, a really big bat or something.
Bobby Brown is not impressed.
Jason Kidd, the Cookie Monster.
Please let this find it's way onto CourtTV
I have to know: What kind of cookie? Because those big Pepperidge Farms chocolate-chip things could definitely leave a mark.
could explain the melon on that kid...
A cookie? And that's a bad thing?
Several television reporters? Tiki?
Jen P - I bet he could do some damage with a Sausalito.
Hitting a woman, even with a cookie, is not cool.
Didn't any of these guys have fathers who explained that to them when they were, say, three years old?
Is this some little known basketball slang? Like how Clark Kellogg calls it "the orange"?
Tim Hardaway approves of Jason Kidd's lifestyle.
Also, does fucking a stripper really count as an affair? Not that I'd be okay with it, but "affair" to me signifies an actual emotional relationship existed.
He beat her before they got married? And she married him anyway???Tell me it's not about the money, baby...
True or not true, the only aspect of this paragraph that could eget him onto to any sort of trouble at work is, sadly, the gambling.
And there's not a chance that any of this tale is embellished for any reason. I believe that Kidd is a dick, but damn.
I'm starving. I'd love for someone to heave a bag of Chips Ahoy in my direction right about now.
Your husband hits you with a large rock and you don't take that as a sign to get out of the marriage immedately if not sooner?
When reached for comment, Jason Kidd's son said "I like juice."
Hey, Bob Ryan? I got it covered.
-Jason Kidd
Kidd has engaged in extramarital affairs with "several different television reporters," as well as strippers in Arizona, Sacramento, Miami, Dallas and Indiana, a Nets season ticket holder, a Nets' employee, and a cheerleader in New Orleans.
well... yeah. he IS a fucking professional athlete. fuck did you think he was doing, playing gin rummie in the hotel room with his homo teammate?
i think they mean he hit her IN the cookies
struck her with everything from a large rock to a cookie.
What is in the subset of objects ranging from a large rock to a cookie?
Jen P - can you call me ex for me real quick? She just doesn't "get it" and I think you could straighten her out for me.
The cookie could have been one of those large bakery ones. That could leave a mark if he got her in the eye maybe
Those are some nice cookies on Joumana Kidd.
he's a monster... a COOKIE MONSTER?!?!?
Because no one's said it yet...
HALF!
What is in the subset of objects ranging from a large rock to a cookie?
Hockey puck?
Shot glass?
Seashell?
Chihuahua?
A & P had a deal on Entemen's chocolate chip cookies this week: buy 1 box, get 2 free. Jason's arm is going to be sore by Saturday.
Spousal abuse? Check
Gambling? Check
Multiple affairs? Check
Gentlemen, may I present Jason Kidd, your totally average NBA player. Get back to me when he does something surprising.
He's nailing season-ticket holders? Take notes, WNBA.
On the other hand, nevermind...
Wives of athletes should not even be allowed to use infidelity as a weapon in divorces. C'mon, morons, any one of these bimbos that belives that her husband is not going to bang every relatively attractive groupie that finds out where the team bus is parked should have her children taken away because she is obviously too stupid to care for them properly.
To be fair, he did the Nets season ticket holder as a promotion to build the fan base.
The Smoking Gun says Kidd threw "a large cookie, like a frisbee" at Joumana's face and then blamed his son for throwing the cookie.
Stay classy, Jason Kidd.
he's a monster... a COOKIE MONSTER?!?!?
you have GOT to put a body on the cookie monster!
Being that Kidd is a Net, I am guessing it was a Mint Milano.
The gays love their Milanos.
But that whole beating thing? What an asshole.
I will be seriously disappointed in NBA fans if the Nets don't get showered with cookies at every stadium they play in the rest of this year. How dare he hit her with a cookie?! A large rock seems reasonable. But a cookie?!!? What a pig!
J Kidd, this is weak. Call me when you are nailing strippers in the ass while they are passed out.
-Zach Randolph
"struck her with everything from a large rock to a cookie.
What is in the subset of objects ranging from a large rock to a cookie?"
Literally EVERYTHING from a large rock to a cookie. Although we'd probably need to define "large rock".
Ehh...I'm kind of uncomfortable cracking jokes about spousal abuse.
I bet it was one of those big black and white cookies, though.
I'm sorry if I offend anyone...actually, fuck that, no I'm not. I think that women who marry professional athletes are the dumbest bitches on the planet.
I'm guessin' Oreos.
Mr. & Mrs. Kidd go to P.F. Chang's for dinner...
Jason: This fortune cookie says, "You will find happiness with a new love. Also, several strippers." D'oh!
Joumana: Well, desserts aren't alright right.
Jason: Ohhh, but they're so sweet and tasty!
(Jason stands up and hits her in the face with the cookie.)
and seriously... enough with this pussy shit. hitting people with cookies?!?! are you fucking kidding me? when i was a kid, my mom hurled a fucking dinner plate, frisbee style, clear across the living room at my old man's head. and did he fucking cry about it?
jesus, when did everyone in this counrty become such gigantic pussies?
I'm sorry if I offend anyone...actually, fuck that, no I'm not. I think that women who marry professional athletes are the dumbest bitches on the planet.
As the wife of a professional athlete I take offense to that
Season ticket holders get to bang the team?!?!?!
On a more serious note, I believe every single word she said about him. Just based on his paws alone. That guy's got "strangler's hands".
Captain Caveman,
Sorry I got to Ruby before you did, papi.
Jason Kidd
*Off to buy season tickets to the Nashville Predators ...*
Show us on the doll where he beat you with the cookie.
Your husband hits you with a large rock and you don't take that as a sign to get out of the marriage immedately if not sooner?
SpecialKay: problem is, said rock may have been the engagement ring.
She also claims that Kidd resorted to purchasing her expensive jewelry (a $585,000 diamond ring and a $550,000 pendant) as a way to apologize for his marital infidelity.
And Kobe had to shell out $4 million for his apology ring? Kidd = cheapskate.
(If any or all of the filing is true, he is an asshole, obviously.)