A snowstorm in Cabo? Fuckin' global warming.

Is he on a zip line?

Yes, Yes....for $100 million in a divorce settlement....Yes.

That's the new dance all the NBA players are doing...it's called "The Kobe".

...continues to display the true heart of an unrepentant dirtball.

Rectified.

You're aiming too high, Mike.

I thought MJ always wore suits and/or leather blazers.

I meant that literally.

Looks like the broad in the middle fancies the dark ale.

Jordan was always unstoppable against the double team.

I don't see nothin' wrong...with a little bump and griiiiiiiind...

For the first time in my life, I understand the those old "Be like Mike" commercials. I wanna be like Mike.

Why couldn't he have gotten the HIV?

@Clare: you remind me of my jeep

I am setting the over-under on the girl in whites age at 21 years and one day.

Place your bets.

Honey?!?

Oh, and what is with the trailer-park attire the "female" behind MJ is sporting. Yikes.

Someone's really sweating the Bobcats' draft possibilities.

No, really, someone must be. Are there any Bobcats fans left?

@KWehme09: I'll take the 'yes.' The over-under is exactly what she and her friend did to Mike.

Not Pictured: Kwame Brown humping a cake.

Where all the white women at?

MJ's bringing down the house! Seriously.

RE: the girl in the middle - I really hope that's not her 'O' face

Holding a cigar and a cum napkin in the same hand.

Hall of Fame, MJ. Hall of Fame.

Karl Malone had a party on the same night, and it was pretty awesome, yet nobody talks about that.

Did those two go 1-2 in the WNBA draft and then get traded? I mean, they tower over the rest of the crowd, don't they? They must be ballers.

We finally have an answer to the eternal question: Where the white women at?

@BigTenObsession: That's just her mustache.

He's clearly getting in positon for the "Redick"

magic never had the hiv. all a government conspiracy.

/s/ people in the know.

@KWehme09: I'll take under, My guess, college freshman on first spring break. By the end of the week she hung loose like sleeve of wizard

Last known photo.

Why couldn't he have gotten the HIV?

He did but then Stern banished to play minor league baseball until it cleared up.

Byron Russell was dancing with then first but Jordan pushed him out of the way

I'm sure MJ found an interesting home for the cigar later.

You have to admire a guy who isn't afraid to bump and grind while still smoking a cigar.

bill clinton is utterly unimpressed with MJ's cigar antics

Yes, Yes, dude.

By the way, I hate Jordan. EVery Knicks fan needs to hate this guy.

I really hope Lionel Richie's "Dancing On the Ceiling" was playing right then.

@TheStarterWife: Looks more like it was "Doin' The Butt"....literally

Interestingly enough, Sam Bowie was the girls' first choice for a dance partner.

off your rectum, through your spleen, over your colon, off the scoreboard, nothin' but vag....

@Tuffy: I like to think of myself as the resident Bobcats fan... basically for all of these here internets.

The dude in the lower left hand corner is a bit scary, no?

I am setting the over-under on the girl in white at 21 beers

fixed.

oh, and unless there are drugs involved. i'm taking the OVER

@Hit Bull Win Steak: Jesus. Where is your butt?

I know I'm speaking only for myself here, but my anus comfortably rests quite a ways below my shoulder blades.

Greg Oden has a lot to learn.

This may be one of the greatest photos ever on Deadspin. There could be funnier or more risque photos but this is FUCKING MICHAEL JORDAN. He is the ultimate sports star even in retirement. Only Ali and maybe Tiger will ever surpass him and somehow I don't see Ali ever giving us anything this good. Maybe Tiger after Elin takes her half but not now.

@Bill Braskey: The who? Are they a minor league baseball team?

@Clare: @Sarge:

Down Low, Down Low (Keep it on the ...) Down Low, Down Low

or, if you prefer

Toot, Toot, Beep, Beep

@Unsilent Majority: WHERE'S THE CAKE?

Coddammit. It's Pavlovian for me.

@Bill Braskey: Sooo. How's this picture working out for you?

i may make this my computer background. I would enjoy it more if that was Sam Perkins instead of Mj.

Not pictured, Craig Ehlo trailing behind.

@SlickBomb: Alternately, Knicks fans should hate all the stars of their 90s teams for being total chokers in the big spots. Reggie Miller wasn't just whistling Dixie.

I love that MJ is hanging on to the ceiling for stability. And that it appears to be falling apart.

Do you mind if we dance wit yo dates?

@Phony Gwynn: That's not a napkin, that's the new "Skanky Hanky." Designed for quick clean ups after impromptu romantic liaisons.

@Riddler: I wanna piss on you....drip drip drip

@KWehme09: This is Mexico, so she's 18 if he's lucky.

@Baba Oje: Adam Morrison certainly has a minor league moustache. Thank you folks.

@Riddler: R. Kelly seems to prefer pee.

Are the rumors true?

Well... let's just say he's penetrating both of them at the same time. Beat that, Dennis Rodman!

@Power of 1000 Lemons:

Reggie Miller is #1 on my list of people to punch in the junk if I ever meet them in real life. Fuck that fuckin' cheater.

@Sarge: damn you.

@Weed Against Speed: Not quite... she'd have to be on her knees and facing him.
That's Kobe's "thing".

@UkraineNotWeak: Damn you, I was about to pull out my Craig Ehlo Joke.

I mean jesus Mike, I know your sponsored by hanes, but you can at least not where there long sleeve tee.

Not pictured: Bryon Russell, shoved off the dais mere moments before.

It's gotta be the shoes.

Seriously, that's all these girls can know him for, unless maybe they saw him clanking turnarounds at the All-Star game a few years back.

@ILovePaleHoseandPaleHos: And don't forget the part where Kobe says, "Here's mud in your eye!"

Nice to know a forty four year old man is still rockin the ripped jeans and white t-shirt look. Eat your heart out Jon Bon Jovi.