Deadspin
Before he was co-opted by The NFL Network and Daniel Snyder's presumably slave-waged garmentmakers, Redskins running back Clinton Portis consistently provided us immeasurable entertainment pretty much every Thursday for two months.
It wasn't necessarily the different characters that killed us: The disguises were usually stuff Portis just found lying around the locker room. It was the strange sense of joy Portis had riffing on his personas in response to oddly straight questions from the assorted media gaggle. He discovered his inner improv comic, particularly with our personal favorite, Coach Janky Spanky, in which Portis pretty much satirized anyone who has ever ran a gym class.
Another fun thing about Portis' sessions: They became huge entirely because of the Internet. Redskins.com was the first site to run all press conferences in their entirety, exclusively on their site. In a way, Portis became a bit of an online phenomenon ... pretty good for a guy who admits he doesn't know what a mouse is.
But is he in the Hall? Remember, 75 percent is the threshold. Vote below: Polls will be open until next Tuesday.
Comments
Hell yes. He's the reason I found this site. Thank you Sheriff Gonna Getcha.
this shouldn't even be close.
rip se jerome.
Bizzare, brilliant, and compelling: he's in.
Pre me. I abstain from this vote.
Anything that can make me like a R**skin is HOF-worthy in my book.
If Clinton Portis and his cavalcade of personas isn't in the Deadspin Hall, there shouldn't even be a Deadspin Hall.
If you're going to use the Super Trampoline Basketball logic, this was a Redskins.com thing, not a Deadspin thing.
Which is why the STB logic is dumb.
I wish I could give one yes vote for each character, but as it stands, just one big YES for the Schizophrenic Speedster of the Southeast.
Yes, Yes, a thousand times YES. I love me some Coach Janky Spanky.
I'd like a 500-word essay from each of the 38-so-far "no" voters. An explanation is necessary.
fuck no
I'm tempted to vote no because of all the bad Halloween costumes this is going to inspite this year but...damn Warshington, I gotta
*inspire
How can anyone say no to this? HOW?
48 No's? Who the fuck are these people? I'm surprised we're even bothering to vote on this one, there ought to be a bust of each of the characters in the Hall already.
note to potential voters...you can't just judge by the images above.
remember, each image represents roughly five minutes of transplendant exchanges with the local media. the clips on redskins.com are pure gold
He who votes "nay" should be banished from the Deadspin Kingdom forever.
I'm actually kind of surprised this wasn't an automatic inductee. After YWML and Carl Monday, this was my most favorite Deadspin on-going saga. I told everybody I knew to start checking this site after the first Clinton Portis clip I saw. I still think this is brilliant, I would not mind if he started it up again this season.
The disguises were usually stuff Portis just found lying around the locker room.
I don't know what the Redskins were doing in that locker room to have all of those disguises but someone might want to check out who's been renting party boats in the DC area.
Err..aside from old Congressmen that rent yachts to bang their interns on.
I voted no. But I'm sure Portis will survive, since he and his lady have that "understanding".
Say it isn't so, Drew... say it isn't so.
Slam dunk yes!
Ditto the I would vote for each character individually. He's in like Flynn.
If you vote "no" to Portis you should be banned from posting on this website. I cannot stress to you how important it is. Portis is shattering stereotypes and making new friends along the way.
Everyone may think less of me, but, I voted "no." This was pre-Deadspin time, for me.
This will be unpopular...but I never understood the appeal of this saga.
The Janky Spanky thing feels to me as juvenille as listening to Weird Al Yankovich (not that I'm qualifying maturity as the benchmark for anything Deadspin) -- This would be pretty hilarious and at the center of my universe at age 13 and then the joke would get old, very fast.
Yes! I am surprised Lorne Michaels hasnt tried to make a feature length film about these characters
Then wouldn't "abstain" have been a better choice?
He doesn't get in until Art Monk does.
Those voting "no" never had to face Sheriff Gonna Getcha.
Portis gets a 38 on the drama scale. He should be a HOF lock, no question.
This has GOT to be in the Hall. The joy this brought to Deadspin last fall was palpable. You could literally feel Will getting excited for the weekly press conferences. No question, he is in.
I know it was you Drew. You broke my heart.
Which was the one where the kicker hid under his coat and did the arms?
Max Power is right, thursday afternoons were the best day of the week during this hof stretch
Portis is the Eddie Murray of our little HOF. It's his consistency, over a long period of time that sets him apart. Big-time yes vote.
It's still not too late to vote YES on Barbaro
I vote no. Portis and his alter egos, although amusing, just don't give me weeks of laughs and fond thoughts of yore like Super Trampoline Basketball.
It was all over SportsCenter, too. Point being, you didn't NEED Deadspin to find out about this. They showed it ALL THE TIME on ESPN. As opposed to say, YWM,L, or the Carl Monday saga.
As much as I adamantly believe this should receive an induction, RyHud scores a fraction of a point with his above argument.
If we let Portis in, we're gonna have to let every comically scizophrenic RB with a mask fetish in the NFL into the HOF. Which I would like to encourage.
who watches sportscenter?
I just went back to the original Janky Spanky post. My how things have changed. Only 15 posts and I appear to be the only one still here.
Major thumbs up to this one.
Yes, just because the HOF needs some color.
You do UM
Wait a second. ESPN jumped on the Portis bandwagon well after deadspin. The draw of this story was due to deadspin.
I understand no votes on Barbaro but not on this.
I'll tell you why I voted no. It was for two reasons. Since I live in DC and SportsTalk 980 covered the whole Portis thing every Thursday, it wasn't unique to Deadspin for me. Secondly, Portis' gig is entertaining on its own merit. It wasn't something that needed to be mined for further comedy gold like the Cooper thing.
Plus, I have an inherent issue inducting someone who was looking for the attention.
I think the real outrage is why Janky Spanky isn't thumbnailed in the cavalcade of characters atop this post.
I worked at ESPN -- I had to watch SportsCenter.
I'm surprised out how close this is (78% 544 votes for yes). I would have thought he was a lock.
I'm also surprised out how many votes these posts are getting. I'm guessing non-commenters can vote also?
t, don't make me hurt you bigman
Deadspin Hall of Fame? Somebody-or-something is jumping the shark.
You don't have to be a commenter to vote.
Listen to me people. One ought not invoke violence on visitors to the site or fellow commenters. However, if you don't vote for Portis, I think your brain should be put in a microwave and cooked alive.
Portis' antics were given press nationally by this site before ESPN/crew picked up on it. We loved his quirky antics, and his wild personalities, and Deadspin & co. essentially made a Portis timeline that kept him cool. Don't forget all the wacky radio interviews, his opinions on black porn, his stories about "tha U." Portis IS Deadspin. No one else is more worthy of enshrinement.
Forget earlier threats of violence. Just vote Portis for the Hall!
I voted "no" because deadspin didn't make this famous... another site did. It would be improperly appropriating from someone else's HOF-level comic material.
which would make Deadspin kinda like Dane Cook.
Clinton gets my vote. However, I'd like to send the people that Maurice Clarett owes money after Barbaro. He ruined my trifectas!
I understand not voting for Barbaro and that trampoline clip... but Portis? How could you not vote for Clinton? Those few "no" votes have left me more disillusioned than any other election I have been apart of. That includes my 6th grade student council election I lost because a nun refused to put my name on the ballot.
Now why would a Nun leave ThePope off a ballot?
I'm a no as well. And Drew - does that mean you voted no on Barbaro too? Because he was way worse.
I don't think it counts as a loss if your name isn't on the ballot.
Ditto to everything BDD just said.
SlickBomb --
I agree, Portis' radio interview with the Junkies was hilarious (he STARTED the intreview, before they even asked a question, by stating, "I only wanna talk x-rated shit."). BUT, are we voting on all of CP? Or just his characters?
He and he alone are the only reason I have been able to put the awfulness that was the Theismann Redskins out of my head. I actually had to cheer for the Giants when they broke his leg. Now, because of him, I can root for Orcs of Washington's defense to return the favor to little Eli...
He has to be in.
RyHud-- We are voting for Portis, not his characters.
How the heck is this even close? Janky Spanky, Sheriff Gonna Getcha, Southeast Jerome, and Dr. I Don't Know ... how can anyone NOT vote for Clinton Portis? This was definitely an internet story before it was an ESPN story - saying otherwise would be like giving Olbermann credit for YWM,L.
Some great commenters have come down on the 'no' vote ... and they are wrong, and can just deal with being wrong.
I have a feeling we're going to have to look at some hanging chads when this vote is over and done with