Deadspin
Some difficulty for Pittsburgh Steelers unhinged linebacker Joey Porter this morning; apparently two of his dogs — a pit bull and a mastiff — escaped from Porter's residence and killed a miniature horse at a nearby farm. The horse, being miniature, was actually smaller than each of the dogs, so that probably wasn't pretty.
We'd like to express surprise that Porter's dogs are a pit bull and mastiff; we would have absolutely pegged him for a chihuahua or pomeranian guy. Porter has apologized for the incident, saying, "I am not sure how the dogs escaped. We have a very secure yard with a six-foot fence around it and this has never happened before. I have reached out to the owners of the horse and will do whatever I can to help them get through this very unfortunate situation."
But the real story? Well, the horse had been talking about the dogs, about how they weren't so tough, and the dogs just took that as a sign of disrespect, you know? And the dogs AREN'T GOING TO BE DISRESPECTED. Hey, they come into THEIR house and start hatin'? Ya'll better expect to get your neck chomped, WOOF WOOF!
Joey Porter's Dogs Get Loose [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]
Comments
We must protect this horse!
Now Joey is the most feared man in the USEF too!!!
We're gonna break out of the yard BRRRRRRRRRAH and then we're going to go find that god damn horse BRRRRRRRRRRRRAH, and then we're going to kill that fucking horse BRRRRRRRRRRRRAH, and then we're going to win again BRRRRRRRRRRRRRAH
I guess no more playing "Who let the dogs out"?
It was Carson Palmer's horse.
Miniature horse, you got JACKED UP.
upon arriving at the scene and apologizing to the horse's owner, Porter then planted a big one on the horse owners right cheek
I dunno. Joey looks like a Shar Pei guy to me.
Barbaro is rolling in his grave right now.
Jerry should enter the world of competitive dog fighting. Then we could see the match-up of "Little Jerry" vs. Qyntel's Pitbull
Jerremy Stevens-- 6'7" 265.
Joey Porter-- 6'3" 250.
They are both obviously large men.... but if you were in a dark alley and knew neither of them, would Porter scare you any more or less?
Personally, I'm 6'4" 235 and they both would have me pissing myself, to equal degrees.
Did God just throw the craziest things he could think of in a hat and pull them out one at a time until he had something? "Ooh, let's see, Joey Porter + a mastiff + a pit bull + a miniature horse . . . No, that's too weird. No one will even believe it."
I'm sorry ... miniature horse? Am I the only one who didn't know horses could be midgets? Looks like I'll be spending the rest of the day at Google Images.
Jerry Porter, Big T Dawg? Seriously?
DOH!!!
that's pretty fucked up. i'm wondering what he is doing to create such violent dogs. i've owned a couple of pit bulls, and while they certainly had the ability to fuck someone up, their disposition was such that it never would have entered their minds. this makes me think that he is intentionally raising killer dogs, which is really gross.
CLIP CLOP! CLIP CLOP! I don't think the horse heard them coming.
The mightymjd has uncovered a letter sent by the dog to the horse. Some incriminating stuff in there...
http://www.themightymjd.com/
Barbaro could have taken those damn dogs.
to understand how killer the dog died, you first need to understand who killer the dog was...
I'm betting the miniature horse crossed over into where Joey's dogs do their warm-ups.
Secretly, the second string miniature horse was happy to see he was finaly going to get his own opportunity to roam the barnyard.
Why couldn't that horse been Barbaro - those sympathy cards are defenseless against Porterized dogs!
Joey Porter = Kanye West + muscles
Kooby - They're kind of worthless. Good for petting zoos and carnivals. The stable that my sister kept her horse at, (a nice appaloosa), had a couple of minis, and I always imagined that the big horses made fun of them at night. Heck, even ponies are bigger than them.
So...do miniature horses have fetuses for jockeys?
Miniature Horse = A Colt. Coincidence? I think not.
"to understand how killer the dog died, you first need to understand who killer the dog was..."
I thought Half Baked sucked, but that scene was 2.5 minutes of sheer hilarity.
Were Joey Porter's dogs also once shot in the hindquarters after the Colorado/Colorado State game?
Nobody should be surprised here. BYAAAAAAAH
I'm sure the owners of the horse would just accept a Joey Porter signed dog collar saying "I'm sorry my dogs just ate your horse".
This is shaping up to the be year of Joey (in the way that last year was the Year of Clinton). I predict that by the end of the year we'll all have learned a lot more about #55 than we ever wanted to know. Hopefully, it ends good. But I'd say it could go either way at this point.
Who is this "Joey Porter" of which you speak. I know only of J. Peezy.
This isn't how I remember the ending of Where the Red Fern Grows going...
I bet that horse tried giving Joey Porter's dogs a speeding ticket. The horse had it coming...
Is Porter going to go all "Old Yeller" and shoot his dogs in the ass?
Willie McGinest let Porter's dogs out in his league wide plot to claim #55 as all his own.
said it before, i'll say it again...
Joey Porter scares the ever living shit out of me.
It's a shame that the horse died. I had my Barbaro form letter all set to be mailed.
And what's up with mini-horse attacks? This is the second one I've heard of this month.
2 dogs killing a minature horse? I would watch that. I would lose my soul, but I would watch that.
I feel like I just read this same story somewhere else -- it even included the joke about Porter owning pitbulls.
Joey Porter fears Willie Shoemaker.
Chopper, sic horse!
What neighborhood does Porter live in where people have miniature horses out and about?
Joey to the horse: "You was Mister Ed. Now you be Mister Dead."
Doug Neidermeyer could not be reached for comment.
Sojo, excellent. But I see this as more of a sequel to Old Yeller.
Is this how Barbaro finally dies?
he should be prosecuted for that. good thing his neighbor's kid wasn't playing outside.
this would NEVER HAPPEN on a Belichick-coached team.
fucking people and their dogs - what is the DEAL??? dogs are the dirtiest, dumbest animals around.. i hate them.
Peezy sent his dogs out because the owners were training that pony to bite Scott Tenerman's weiner off.
Sorry about the locking jaws.
Could be worse. They could've mauled his daughter. Then he'd get rid of them for sure.
"I am not sure how the dogs escaped. We have a very secure yard with a six-foot fence around it and this has never happened before."
and
"Police knew immediately to whom the dogs belonged because the dogs had gotten free last year"
Bob,
I'm sorry my dogs killed your mini-horse.
-Joey Porter
we comin out like a pack a CRAZED DOGS! WOOO!!!!