Deadspin
If it were up to me I would not be reposting this. I find 'Nightmare Ant' creepy, intimidating and more than a little demonic. But the truth is, I have very little control over this site anymore. Neither does Will. Yeah, it's 'Nightmare Ant' calling the shots now. And if 'Nightmare Ant' wants his photo reposted or a link to some weird senior bowling story, so be it.
Named after revolutionary war general 'Mad Anthony' Wayne, for whom Wayne County, Michigan is also named, 'Nightmare Ant' — or 'Mad Ant' as he's known in some circles — is all fucking business. He enjoys weight lifting; crashing picnics; and making you piss your bed.
He "pretends" to be the official mascot for the Pistons and Pacers' developmental league team: the Fort Wayne Mad Ants, but it's all just a front. 'Nightmare Ant' is Deadspin. He is your overlord. Sleep tight, kids.
(Um, I have no idea what's going on here. I'm just gonna stop. Enjoy your Saturday night.)
Comments
It's a Mad (Ant), Mad (Ant), Mad (Ant), Mad (Ant) World...
Look for the Big W!
I succumb to your power
i heard the jets were thinking of starting Mad Ant at middle linebacker tomorrow
I'm gonna stage a picnic to sure him in and then capture him and keep him in a giant nightmare jar with giant nightmare holes poked in the giant nightmare lid.
*lure
I think I will be scared of the dark tonight.
Someone tell Nightmare Ant that he's gotta piss in a cup before hitting the court...
Scout: Did you order the Code Red on J.E. Skeets?
Col. Nightmare Ant: I did the job I...
Scout: [shouting] Did you order the Code Red?
Col. Nightmare Ant: [shouts] You're goddamn right I did!
How come Mad Ant didn't show up in the Mitchell Report? Oh that's right, steroids are baseball only.
Fort Wayne has no chance against UC Irvine.
That's not a basketball he's holding neither...that's one of Shaq's testicles
And to think, just last night I just threw away my 20-foot magnifying glass, thinking I'd never have a practical use for it.
so help me God if this filthy hippie sleeping on the floor has the seat next to me...I will show him a picture of Nightmare Ant and he will be convinced he is having some kind of drug-induced hallucination and will be removed from the plane.
But how does Nightmare Ant react to Juicy Fruit?
@Scout:
Skeets: This is your Weekend Daddy. On behalf of my country and in the name of the other leaders of the blogosphere with whom I have today consulted, I hereby abdicate all authority and control over this Internet to Nightmare Ant. Only by following all his directives will the Facebook profiles of millions be spared...
President: MJD! Can you hear me? MJD! Where are you?!?
General Nightmare Ant: Who is this... MJD?
President: You'll find out and when you do...
General Nightmare Ant: Come to me, MJD! I defy you! Come and kneel before Nightmare Ant! NIGHTMARE ANT!
... Dad?
via Facebook:
Latest Debates Kige Ramsey participated in:
Should marijuana be legalized?
Position: No, it should be treated like other illegal drugs
My brain just exploded due to excessive tautology.
Skeets:
"Ladies and gentlemen, er, we've just lost the post, but, uh, what we've seen speaks for itself. The website Deadspin has been taken over -- "conquered", if you will -- by a master race of giant mad ants. It's difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive commenters or merely enslave them. One thing is for certain, there is no stopping them; the mad ants will soon be here.
And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted Deadspin weekend editor, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground basketball caves."
looks like we had Nibbles as the wrong animal.
Get back here ant!
/Aardvark
@Tuffy: Oh my God...the tears are streaming...funniest....
Why does the NBDL have its own officially licensed ball? Why not just use the NBA ball? Is Spalding actually selling these things?
Also named after "Mad" Anthony Wayne? Tony Stewart.
No shit.
I could watch Rick Pitino lose every single day and never get tired of it.
I still love you guys.
OK gang, amazingly, I have, well a date. So I will catch you sometime in the near future. That is, of course, if I have the ant's permission.
@A Slice of Bacon: Nightmare Ant will not be starting for the Jets at MLB. David Harris > Nightmare Ant. He may be at OLB, though. We're not sure how he matches up against Hobson.
@Tuffy:
This post = 1 week of Effexor
@Camp Tiger Claw: I have audio! [www.cstv.com]
Scroll down to the FSU game, click on the audio link. You have to sign up, but its free. Its worth it, I do it for BC games.
Also, you must be running internet explorer.
He actually looks like he's about to throw a pretty sound fundamental chest pass.
Adam Ant > Nightmare Ant
What we need now is 30 foot Aardvark. Quick!!! Follow me to the lab!!!
@Dieter: Well, I'll be damned.
[www.dickssportinggoods.com]
You people scare me sometimes...
Really, I wonder if this reappearance has anything to do with the couple thousand fire ants I vanquished earlier today on my front porch and yard with a can of Raid Country Fresh Scent Roach and Ant Spray ©. Mayhaps Nightmare Ant has returned to exact vengeance with a vicious array of stinging bites and devastating crossover dribbles.
My ankles shall not be broken this day, Nightmare Ant. I swear it.
@chilltown: +1 I gotta buy you a beer sometime.
This will take some tinkering since I'm on a mac... but it will be done.
I'm going to be singing the Pink Panther theme all day.
Im telling you Skeets, it is not going to be good when Nightmare Ant finds his way over to the Jones- lets see you put food on the table then. Nightmare Ant... HUNGRY.
It is not going to be a good thing when Nightmare Ant finds his way over to the Jones, Skeets- lets see you put food on the table then... Nightmare Ant HUNGRY.
Don't drink. Don't smoke. What do you do?
Im Out, Cause Im an idiot
@What would Kornheiser do?: So was my uncle.
Damn, I'm never going to look at him the same way again.
Anarchy! Anarchy!
See what happens when you take away Saturday afternoon NFL games?
Giant insects.
Next week, the taps run red with blood. Thanks a fucking lot Goodell.
The list of Nightmare Ant's hobbies on the team website is frighteningly vague. "Anything high energy"? Oh God oh God oh God oh God oh God...
Man fuck dat ant.
/Marques Slocum
ANTEATERS!
/Jennifer Grey pre-nosejob.
@The New Math: 86=1: I love my overlord. He/she/it da realest bitch alive
When I saw this earlier, I couldnt stop laughing--thanks Skeets!
This DIII game is proving a pretty good diversion during halftime of the FSU game.
...until that 66 yard run just put it away. Dude has 247 yards on the night.
After feasting on Ben Eager on Tuesday night, Gary Roberts just had Andy Sutton for dessert. Sutton is younger, taller, and heavier, and he still had his ass handed to him.
@Scout: I live close enough to NIghtmare Ant to document him in action. This may need to happen.
Also, I've been drinking. I may need to forget this.
I saw this photo again and my eye began to twitch.
@Terrible Terry Tate: Except your namesake.