Deadspin
Inspired by Native American tales of creatures that will claw children's eyes out if they don't behave, please welcome the new Winter Olympic mascots, Quatchi, Miga and Sumi! The Games are a mere 2 1/2 years from now, so these charming critters need to get right to work, doing, um, whatever it is they do. Informative and educational? Not in the least! Not a single one can actually be found in nature!
Each of the creatures is distinct and special - both in personality and in appearance. One is big, gentle and shy . . . one is small, mischievous and outgoing . . . and one is a natural-born leader with a passion for protecting the environment. All three are mythical creatures with roots in local legend. One is a sasquatch. One is a sea-bear. And one is an animal guardian spirit. They are all, to say the least, unique.
And, for the first time ever, there will be an official "mascot sidekick" — an Olympic character that didn't make the final cut, but will play on the practice squad, as it were.
A fourth character was selected as a 'mascot sidekick.' "We never intended to have a sidekick," said Gardiner, "but Mukmuk was so cute and such a perfect friend to the other characters that we had to keep him!" So history was made - the Vancouver Games is the first to have an official mascot sidekick.
Translation: Mukmuk is gay.
Looks like I'm going to need plenty of aspirin over the next two years.
Vancouver2010.com
The Honor Of Olympic Mascots Is Restored [Everything's Corner]
Comments
The 2010 Winter Olympics present: Messin' with Sasquatch
Where's Pikachu?
It looks like Quatchi is about to bitch slap Miga.
Ok. so the cute cuddly mascots get nightmare fuel, but Ms. Freddy Kruger doesn't?
Haiiiiil Satan!
@Rick: Mukmuk is on the practice squad, and a switch-hitter?
I thought we got rid of baseball as an Olympic sport.
Which one of those adorable little creatures grows the best bud?
waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait ....
THAT'S nightmare fuel????
Can we retire this tag now?
This is all Elmo's fucking fault.
Shouldn't one of them have Patrick Duffy for a leg?
I was hoping the mascot would be 20 different words for snow.
One is kinda creepy and may be a serial killer . . . one is that short skank with the annoying voice who gets all clingy when she's drunk . . . and one is a natural-born douchebag.
where's dipsy to complete the set?
Def jam is streaming the new Ghostface record today.
Miga, that shit is Quatchi.
Those guys will fuck you up in Imaginationland.
Miga with an Attitude
So...Miga has a scarf, Quatchi has earmuffs, and Sumi has a helmet with spikes coming out of it? What the FUCK?
Quatchi the Sasquatch. A large out-of-focus monster roamin' the countryside....Run, he's fuzzy!
One is big, gentle and shy . . . one is small, mischievous and outgoing . . . and one is a natural-born leader. . .
Bryant Reeves, Greg Anthony, and Byron Scott. Great; the new Olympic mascots are the '95-'96 Vancouver Grizzlies.
#### complaints from Japan about that picture giving them seizures in 3, 2, 1.....
@Wee_Evans: When the Olympics are over, I see a Mario Bros. game in Sumi's future.
I never thought 2D, Noodle, and Russel would sell out.
Be careful with that hot oil, Quatchi!!!
I think I have seen those characters while watching Yo Gabba Gabba with my 3 yr old.
They look perfectly friendly, as long as you don't feed them after midnight.
Who are three characters I wouldn't want to meet in a dark 30-minute time slot on Nick Jr.?
One more mascot, and they could be Gorillaz....
@The Legend of Vincent Tremblay:
...natural born douchbag...
I didn't know Bill Simmons was Canadian.
I also just noticed that Qatchi is sporting a tattoo. I can see it now...between the tatt, Sumi's Andree 3000 get-up and Miga's b-boy stylings, they will have this threesome rapping just before the snowboard halpipe event.
@IsoldmysoultoMilhouseVanhouten:
Obviously he already did. Miga's eye is already closing up.
Miga is Nibbles' red-skinned cousin.
With Leonard Nimoy...KICKING OUT THE JAMS!
Hello Kitty must be stopped at all costs.
So Mukmuk is like Bat-dog to Quatchi's Batman, Miga's Batgirl and Sumi's Robin?
How does this post warrant the nightmare fuel tag, but not the Canadian melting face PSA ?
So Vancouver rejected my idea of featuring a Chinese store owner, a cameraman shooting an American TV series, and Pamela Anderson?
You're just not a viable mascot until you cause massive eye damage to Lenny at Moe's Tavern.
where the $&^%@ is Wolverine?!
I call bullshit
I didn't know Shawn Kemp wore ear muffs.
When I was little, I referred to both mustard and Orange Juice as 'muck-muck.' I don't see what that has to do with a mascot.
@Tuffy: Oh, and I'm pretty sure Cuonzo Martin's the cute sidekick.
Canada is clearly trying to challenge Japan as that place where all the weird shit comes from.
Just as clearly, they're not that good at it.
Is that Hello Kitty?
@Riddler: I thought it was the world's largest cattle brand.
This is what happens when you let Asians steadily take over Vancouver over the past 30 years.
Upside: Best Chinese food this side of Shanghai.
/asshole
that's nothing. the chinese olypmic mascot is actually 1 billion little cartoon mascots who all look exactly the same and never smile.
The type of things that earn the 'Nightmare Fuel' tag give us a keen insight into the unique phobias of Will and Rick.
They better have Peter Mayhew on speed dial to play Quatchi.
@Jefferson Short Bus: +1, still laughing.
@Chamomiles Davis:
With "Shitpants", the plucky young street-junkie/prostitute from East Hastings, as the official sidekick.
What, no fuck lion?