Deadspin
It's a question that has plagued man throughout the ages: How much would you pay for the excrement of a richer, more famous man? It has confounded philosophers and economists alike. Now, perhaps the question is answered, in the visage of one Mike Tyson.
An "auction house" called Celebrity Skin And Bodily Fluids is selling Mike Tyson's poop. (It's not just his, actually; you can buy Mick Foley's and a few others' too.) They advise being careful with the final product.
For fecal and urine specimens, you will receive 2.0-3.0 cubic centimeters of specimen packaged in a hermetically-sealed transparent plastic cylinder (about the size of a film canister). The contents will be clearly visible through the cylinder. We do not recommend opening the cylinder after purchase, and we cannot be held liable for any injuries you sustain from engaging in this highly risky behavior.
Currently, a vial of Tyson's dung is going for $31. Nice work, if you can get it.
You Can Own A Piece Of Mike Tyson's Poop [100 Percent Injury Rate]
Comments
Is Tyson selling the piece of Evander Holyfield he owns?
Mick Foley has chunks of guys like Tyson in his stool....no, seriously, look closely.
I...this...brain...broken. I got nothin', here.
I shudder to think how these samples are gathered...
Any word on the current value of Luis Gonzales's gum?
I would not pay THE EXCREMENT anything....
How much would you pay the excrement of a richer, more famous man?
This seems to be a much more existential question than you meant it to me. I must comtemplate deeply.
hehe - they called the shit "poop"
"Celebrity Skin was formed in 2003 by an anonymous collective of former Hollywood personal assistants."
So are we to assume that these personal assistants scoop the dung out of the toilet?
He thinks his shit don't stink.
@Magnakai Haaskivi: well, it might come included.
I've already seen Tyson's shit.
I've already seen a piece of Mike Tyson's shit. It was called the Kevin McBride fight.
Nibbles! (aint talking about ears.)
Does Mike Tyson like corn?
Does this poop include remnants of the babies he's eaten?
Two interesting observations from their site:
(1) Jack Black has the most expensive shit by far ($92)
(2) Dr. Drew is having an overstock sale on his dung. (A "blowout" sale?)
Wow, even Mick Foley's poop sells.
And I presume Don King will receive the standard 100% of Mike Tyson's share of the profits.
@StupidAngelos: Best.Commenter.Name
But do I get royalties?
Can I buy the egg he laid vs. Lennox Lewis?
23 dollars for Mick Foley poop? This is ridiculous. How many Germans even know who Mick Foley is?
@Stay Away From Oprah:
If Jack Black's shit is going for $92, Curly Washburn's must go for about ten grand.
Personally, I hope we never see the "poop" tag again.
How much of overhead is Colonblow?
The Donna D'erico Poop is out of stock.....ewwwwww.
Sarah Jessica Parker has some too. I guess they sent some poor administrative assistant to muck it out of her stall.
@Lady Andrea: +1
Keith Richards just ate some of Mike Tyson's shit.
I can just imagine the pitch to the venture capitalists:
Step 1: Obtain the shit of famous people.
Step 2: ...
Step 3: Profit!
Surprisingly Dave Matthew isn't available
@Hustler of Culture: You didn't coin that. I did!
/giggling like fourth-grader
@Hustler of Culture: But of course. You'll receive 15% of every zilch that I earn.
@Lady Andrea: For some reason I imagine that SJP's poop is just dust.
@public enemy #1: +s
How much for the tiger's taint?
@public enemy #1: Oh I disagree. I've been using it for years as my fantasy team name and I thought I was the first to bring it here. I didn't see it before.
But I am willing to share the royalties. There is no reason to bicker when we should be focusing our anger towards him....
Bah gawd, that's Mankind's shit!
Mike Tyson is human rape standing that tiger.
@Carmen McFanzone: Jack Black's shit is overpriced there. I only had to pay $24.95 for "The Holiday".
I think Kim Kardashian has found a second career!
Well, first career.
@Hustler of Culture: Fair enough. Hey how bout that pen?
That chucklehead has a tattoo of Chairman Mao on his arm? Really?
I don't have a good joke... I'm just flabbergasted, is all.
@buttons: Are you sure it's not Bill Belichick?
@public enemy #1: My head still hurts from banging it against a wall.
What the fuck happens to this team in August??
I should want to cook Mike Tyson a nice dinner; I shouldn't want to collect his poop, to wear his poop, to be born unto new worlds where his poop becomes my key.
We do not recommend opening the cylinder after purchase
Then how am I supposed to be able to fling it at people, Einstein?
@It's the Beer Talking: I'll be damned if we're not the most Brocktoon quotin'est group of motherfuckers on the internet.
I myself am guilty of multiple offenses.
@Hustler of Culture: If Dusty Baker is to believed, they have too many whites.
@Civil Negligence: Or use it as seasoning in a soup?
what?
despite assertions to the contrary, i would NOT be interested in buying mike tyson's poop.
As I work at a firm that charges for my time by the hour, my friend and I would tell each other about our movements in terms of $/lb. If you took a long time, but little came out, that shit was like gold.
@Weed Against Speed: I rather pay to look at the origin of the shit (her can, not the actual dirty penny) than pay for the actual shit.
I think I'll hold off on buying any of this poop until they have a blowout sale after Thanksgiving.
I'm waiting until the price for Rick Allen's scat is slashed by 25%.
Nick Saban doesn't have time for this shit.
@Sandy Magic Jackson: That may be true but I was more referring to her willingness to collect said samples and then release the videos of the collection process.