Deadspin
The Pittsburgh Steelers. The Pittsburgh Steelers. They stand for might. They stand for strength. They stand for hard-working, old-fashioned, American blue-collar values. They stand for ... Steely McBeam!
Yes, the Steelers' new mascot is actually named Steely McBeam. They had a huge fan contest ... and that won. Steeler fans, prepare for an identity crisis.
The name and the character may take some getting used to. But move over Stevie Steeler and The Terrible Fan: The mascot named yesterday as part of the 75th anniversary season of the Steelers is ... Steely McBeam.
It almost felt like the football gods were frowning yesterday at the Steelers' training camp on this break from tradition — What's next? A steel-toed drill team? — but it turned out to be nothing more than a few raindrops and the rumble of distant afternoon thunder.
Many have pointed out the mascot looks vaguely like former Steelers coach Bill Cowher ... but go ahead and call Cowher "Steely McBeam," we dare you.
Say Hello To Steely McBeam [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]
Comments
We work hard, we play hard!!!
Okay...I'll just get all the Simpsons jokes out of the way...
Bart: Dad! Why did you take me to a gay steel mill?
Homer: I don't know!!
Bear. Definitely a bear.
Keep reaching for that rainbow.
Love child of Bradshaw and Cowher?
they should have named him steely dan and given him a guitar. then he would have been cool.
Because a face into a windshield was determined to be too obvious for a mascot....
Dude. Cardboard Sign. Yes. Gay Mascot. Dude.
This man is not amused.
Can I get a ruling on the over/under on how long it takes Jeff Reed and Steely to have a "junk-off" contest this year?
@Jack Cobra: steely dan gargles my balls.
Way to spring for the 7th grade science fair board to announce the name.
I weep for my team's future.
If the mascot was meant to represent Cowher they should have named it Spitty McChin.
Keep reaching for that hypocycloid!
Also starring: Peter North, TT Boy, Steely McBeam
I thought I was the Steelers gay mascot!
-Kordell Stewart
Dolphins fans named our new mascot Gunshot McFuckingshootmyface.
@Jack Cobra: And as overrated as Rothlesberger.
@MitchKayak: I hear he's ghey so you may have something to work with there.
@Juancho: I'm just waiting for Outsports discovering the shocking photos of Steely McBeam in flagrante delicto with Herbie the Husker...
Is it a Sin to be fabulous?
He makes Pat Patriot and Buccaneer Bruce look straight.
@The Gentleman Masher: I was going to go with Purdue Pete.
Why is he wearing ski bibs?
@theslacker: you forgot Lexington Steele.
Can the Texans' mascot be Racist McOiltycoon?
When did the Burger King shave and get a mystic tan?
Steely McBeam is still more original than my team's mascot. Billy Buffalo. Get it ? Buffalo Bills, Billy Buffalo. Lame.
KSK's got a good rant on this:
[kissmesuzy.blogspot.com]
@Matt_T: It's certainly a nicht nicht.
Funny, he doesnt look Irish.
Also, the Browns mascot will now be known as Cleveland McSteamer.
@PeteJäyhawk™: Gregg Easterbrook?
@theslacker:
TT Boy?
R Kelly doing porn now? or is it Ray Jay?
Swoop (the birds mascot) would kick the shit out of this thing
Mr. Jaundice...for the win.
By the looks of him, his liver is failing and will be dead in a month.
You have no idea how much this pisses me off.
To refute claims of homosexuality, Steely McBeam now spends his nights hitting paparazzi-laden Pittsburgh hotspots with Booby McBoob.
Was Queery McHomo already taken?
It's nice to see the dude's career picking up after getting kicked out of The Village People.
Derek Zoolander?
I'd like to reprise my account of this from DUAN:
[deadspin.com]
@Locker Room Guise: Cowboys already took that one. His name is 'Jerry Jones.'
@Weed Against Speed: Good point...those long distance things never work.
I agree with KSK that the mascot looks vaguely like Bruce Campbell. Albeit a heavily jaundiced Bruce Campbell.
And that's a great name for him, picked out by Mrs. Johnson's third grade class.
I once crashed on the couch at the Vikings mascot's house and got crabs.
@Sh!tShow:
HA HA!! Pittsburgh has no paparazzi-laden hotspots. So there.
I still my choices of Donnie, Honky, or Steely Dan were better.
@Stay Away From Oprah: This little fellow doesn't take too kindly to that.
@Cool Hand Mike: Yes...and yes.
Richard Simmons would make him his bitch!
@Sh!tShow: what about Hootie McBoobity?
@TheStarterWife:
I like Hunky McDrinkiniron myself.
definitely ###
It looks like he's about to give the "suck it" gesture.
They were better off using Dirk Diggler.
I call bullshit. What gay man would wear a yellow and black check, short sleeve oxford, buttoned all the way up, no less?
@David Hume: I believe that pattern is a "windowpane", not a check.*
*not gay for knowing this.
Was 'The Underminer' taken?
[filmi.punt.nl]
@bizzo5000(Scott Senay): "Hunky" would have at least made sense from a historical viewpoint. And the drinking point would have also made sense, because the per capita of bars in Pittsburgh I believe is still the highest in the US.
My other choice was 70's Stereotype Steve.
@Juancho: I always prefered geltabs.
Anyways, this thing is going to be booed out of the building by the fourth home game, I think that's a safe bet.
@Nationalcoholic: Sorry, I avoid all DU!AN posts the following morning, for fear I posted something at 3AM I will regret.
@theslacker: Don't forget Lexington Steele.
@The Gentleman Masher: Ah, but you forgot the piece de resistance!
"Hot thtuff coming through!"
"Wifebeater Faggitowski"
@theslacker:
I can't decide if it's the best straight porn name ever or the best gay porn name ever.
Apropro of nothing, the Michigan team that featured Jarrett Irons, Glen Steele, and Rob Swett was the best collegiate porn name team ever.