Deadspin
We find it incredibly strange that Jason Giambi is, once again, back at the forefront of the drugs-in-baseball debate. After all, has there ever been a more effective advertisement for the benefits of performance enhancing drugs than Jason Giambi?
When the Yankees lost the World Series in 2001, they responded by signing Giambi to a seven-year, $120 million deal even though, by then, anyone with even a modicum of intelligence figured he was using steroids. Nobody cared, though, because he hit a shitload of home runs, and when you hit a shitload of home runs, someone will give you a guaranteed seven-year contract in the nine digits. When news of Giambi's BALCO grand jury testimony broke, the Yankees explored every option possible to drop his contract, not because they were embarrassed, but because he wasn't hitting and looked lethargic. So, the guy starts doing greenies. Suddenly ... he's energized again, and hitting again. Steroids become less of an issue; after all, he's hitting. He gets to keep his contract, keep his job and sign women's breasts.
We cannot work ourselves up about this new "revelation" that Giambi tested positive for amphetamines. Yes, sure, we all knew he was on something the whole time. If we knew $120 million was on the line, we'd do steroids and amphetamines too. Jesus, who wouldn't?
Jason Giambi Speeds Toward Disaster [Steroid Nation]
Comments
Excellent take Will, simple, concise, and more honest than most fans are willing to be, and yet, not self-righteous.
Oh and a great photo for DU!AN purposes as well.
WWJGD?
Do you want to know the dark truth...
or do you want to see me whack some dingers?
The voice of reason.
Beetface, yes.
I'm on a roll
No self-control
I'm signing these boobies 'cuz of amphetamines
Is it hot in their, or is it just Giambi? It looks like he literally sprinted to sign that woman's breast. Get him a drink of water, someone!
Why is Roger Clemens pawing a woman who's not his wife?
jesus, he even gets sweaty signing an autograph.
@1 Speed Bike: That's because his metabolism is sped up so much by the greenies.
@1 Speed Bike:
Leave him alone. Signing tits is hard work.
You cannot regulate people being stupid, which is why I guess the whole doping thing does not get me very upset.
BTW - This blog HolyDogWater had some great before and after shots the other day of Giambi.
Giambi looks like Ron Jeremy's penis during the Hedgehog Pinch.
If she's not pouring beer on herself, I am not interested.
It seems really convenient that all this stuff popped up after he said baseball ought to apologize. But Jason might want to keep quiet for a while.
wow... i think Will needs some Orbit gum after today
Jeremy Giambi will sign anything for bus fare.
Giambino -> Giambalco -> Giamphetamines?
Almost as good as JoPa signing the cow... almost.
And honey, after we finish paneling the family room we get Jason Giambi over to sign autographs!
You might say jotting his signature in this picture presented mountains of trouble.
@TheStarterWife: Wow, before he became a lumbering beetface, Giambi was pretty cute. Excellent link.
I would inject myself with the blood of Barbaro for $120 million, I hear it has secret powers.
He kind of looks like Sly Stalone in that pic.
@BigRicks:
Didn't Matt Lawton get busted for horse steroids a couple years ago? I think he might have been Barbaro's dad.
@BigRicks: Nah, don't do that. You'll walk with a limp.
Afterwards, he showed her his special way of dotting the i.
Handsy, but not delightfully so.
@Weed Against Speed: now all I have in my head is, "Gimme a 'HO!' if you got your funky bus fare!"
HO!
Jason Giambi signed my scars!!
How did Brittany grow her hair back so quickly..?
Who knew they had a test to see if Giambi tested positive for being on Mike and Mike host Mike "Greenie" Greenberg? What kind of progressive society are we if we can't accept this?
My theory:
There was a leak in the NY papers a few days ago that the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim in Orange County on the Western Seaboard were interested in trading for Giambi. Then all of a sudden you have Giambi spilling his guts out to USA Today and now a leak about his amphetamine use. What if the person leaking things to the media is Giambi (or Giambi's agent)? He wants the Yankees to void his contract, so that he can approach them with a settlement deal so he can leave and go to Anaheim and try to win a World Series instead of being taunted by the constant scrutiny on a rapidly sinking ship.
Your thoughts?
@1 Speed Bike: Giambi gets sweaty doing things simpler than that.
Like "breathing" and "getting up in the morning."
Oh, and excellent handle. You into the Montreal music scene?
amphetamines make you GREASY
@Clare: That blog is from one of the Hot Blogger submissions.
@Lady Andrea: the Double Dutch bus???
Bilzarbra, Mitzery, Milzetty, Kilsan, Titzommy, Kitzerrance, Kilzommy - that's my man
If that girl was a Cardinals fan, here's the playbook for breast-signing.
Not to sound like Simmons here, but the Red Sox have won 2 World Series if Jason Giambi never took steroids. He hit 2 home runs in Game 7 of the 2003 ALCS.
@DennyCrane: My thoughts are that neither Giambi nor anyone he associates himself with is that ingenius.
@TheStarterWife: Um...I knew that...
[runs to do her Hot Blogger homework]
@DennyCrane: I'd be content with the Yankees paying a portion of the contract, in exchange for some prospects
@DreadPirate-Dave-Roberts: You missed that whole Marlins part of that year didn't you.
@DennyCrane: and try to win a World Series instead of being taunted by the constant scrutiny of his rapidly sinking ship.
fixed
@Clare: he's a cutie too. Well, they all are really.
@goathair: you printed it out and laminated it, didn't you?
@supermike3: I'm all about the Double Dutch bus. You're my guy, Mikey.
Mom?
@lieutenant winslow: I noticed that, too. But my reaction was that it must have been someone else writing it, what with the profanity and all.
@Lady Andrea: thanks.
you coming to the east coast party? or are you pants-partied out for now..?
@Lady Andrea: I think it's pretty obvious that I already have it committed to memory.
@DennyCrane: Interesting. I doubt it, though.
I can't see Giambi intentionally subjecting himself to all of the increased negative publicity. Additionally, I think that for the time left on his contract, the Yankees still give him the best and most consistant chance to win a WS.
@Len Bias Cocaine Surplus: No, I'm just convinced that the Red Sox would have beaten them. The Yankees were a train wreck after the ALCS, and I think the Red Sox were a much better team that year.
@supermike3: I'm actually thinking about trying to come, it depends on airfare.