Deadspin
Orioles Professional Hitter Aubrey Huff wouldn't seem like the type of guy who would let himself cut loose and act crazy on the radio, but hey, take a bat out of a man's hands, and he's liable to do some crazy things.
Huff was a guest on the Bubba The Love Sponge show — seriously, we don't care how much money you make, we can't imagine showing up at our class reunion and telling everyone we grew up how we now should be called "Bubba The Love Sponge" — and he started having a little fun.
Bubba: "Now Aubrey, do you jack off a lot on the road, like when you're not with your wife."
Huff: "It's all I do. It's all I do. You guys have no idea how much downtime there is in baseball. You wake up from a hangover about 1 o'clock."
Producer shouts: "In the afternoon?"
Huff: "Oh, yeah! Lemme tell you this. When you are hung over, how horny are you? I'm horny, when I'm hungover, I'm horny. So I'm just gonna beat off. And that's all I do."
Huff goes on to call Baltimore "horseshit". Ordinarily, we would enjoy and encourage such candid talk from athletes, who, by definition, are trained not to say anything interested. But there's something about having your only moment of being a recognizable, normal human being happening as a guest on the Bubba, The Love Sponge Show. We dunno: It hurts credibility, we think.
Aubrey Huff Uncensored [WNST]
Just Horsing Around, Huff Says [Baltimore Sun]
Comments
Earl Weaver approves
Tejada, Mora, Gibbons, Huff...get rid of the whole lot of 'em.
Aubrey Huff: is he sponge worthy?
In his defense, Baltimore is horseshit.
"Lucky fucker."
- Unsilent Majority
This isn't a problem. Huff hasn't insulted any Orioles fans, because there are none left.
Shitty Baseball Player Jones
@public enemy #1: Then we'll officially have a Single A ballclub.
@McCroskey:
Anna Benson approves
@Blackaces: Maybe so, but at least I can now sneak down to premium seats every time I go to Camden Yards.
Huff's rubbing one out > Alou's hand peeing
Maybe his favorite team is the Yankees?
What's that funny comedian's name?
NIGHTMARE FUEL
@StuScott Booyahs: No, were actually going to get some players back for Tejada and possibly Mora. I think with McPhail calling the shots they finally are seeing they need to blow it up and start over instead of signing half-assed over-priced free-agents every year and winning 70-75 games.
I don't know...is being known as "Bubba The Love Sponge" that much worse than being called "Aubrey"?
@UkraineNotWeak:
Better yet, David Cone approves.
@McCroskey: @UkraineNotWeak: Tommy Lasorda approves.
Which player exactly is he talking about when he says "See baseball, hit baseball?"
What? New road groupies? He must play for the Orioles.
AC Green approves.
I disapprove.
He's jackin' it.
Huff duster, anyone?
People actually still refer to it as "beating off"? I thought that went out of style about the same time people stopped referring to sex as "humping".
Now I'm assuming the players on this Angelos-owned team are required to have roommates on the road. I'm thinking he and Millar have contests in their Red Roof Inn room; Huff thinking about Alyssa Milano and Millar using his days in the Red Sox locker room for inspiration.
If Kevin Millar was Huff's roommate, it might explain his blatant desire to return to Boston ASAP.
There's seriously a radio host, a grown man, who calls himself Bubba The Love Sponge?
Is this some kinda Bawlmore thing that I don't get, or is it seriously the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard?
Hi! I'm Aubrey Huff. You need to join the Player With Yourselves Club. The Player With Yourselves Club card entitles you to masturbation privileges at hotels all over the world. In cities like Arlington, Tampa and Cleveland. Who loves yourself, baby?
Baltimore is so syphillis-ridden that jackin it is his safest option.
You Huffin' it?
Carl Monday just put in for a transfer to Baltimore.
Information like this could have saved Micheal Jordan a lot of money.
Lucky fucker
For now on, I to shall call Baltimore Horseshit instead of my now old favorite, "Balamore."
take a bat out of a man's hands, and he's liable to do some crazy things
Jack Torrance agrees.
I think we can all agree that a Saturday morning self-abuse session is a great thing, but don't professional teams supply their own groupies to take care of this sort of thing?
@Doyle_McPoyle: +1
That has officially entered my everday vocabulary.
Is he a pull hitter, does he slap it to the opposite field, or is he a spray hitter?
What would really be worse for Huff's wife - finding out he cheats on you or having him talk about jerking off all the time on the radio?
Huff was on the show sandwiched between pornstar "Melissa Midwest" promoting her new hardcore DVD, and a segment called "continuing the whore tour".
It's not really a mystery why masturbation was on his mind...
@Shea Guevara: Based in Tampa. Used to be syndicated, now he's on Sirius.
@MurrayHewitt: Aubrey talking about jackin' it on the radio is probably better than what she's doing, the little hussy.
Leitch, is it any worse than demanding your reunion committee list you as a "glogger" in the 10-year directory?
Tom Brady does not approve of the use of a love sponge.
I prefer "Wiener and the Butt" to Bubba the Love Sponge.
@Shea Guevara: He's actually on Sirius, airing after Stern. There are two notable facts about this man:
1) Hulk Hogan was the best man at his wedding.
2) His most famous bit is called "shocking the puss" in which he has female volunteers hook up a dog collar to their nether-regions and, well, shock the puss. I am not making up any of this.
@Shea Guevara: He actually used to be in Tampa/Jacksonville/Orlando area, until he got fired. Not for fucking sucking and being a douche witha terrible name, but for killing a live pig on the radio or having someone have sex, mic'ed, on air or something like that.
Aubrey Huff, huh? That's a helluva pull for Bubba the Love Sponge.
@Shea Guevara: it is both, dear sir
@public enemy #1: What? No more signings of the likes of Albert Belle and Sammy Sosa? Maybe there's hope yet for this team.
Oh wait, Angelos runs things. Stupid Angelos.
No love for whore's?
@Dany Heatley Speedwagon: Tom Brady is so accurate, his "passes" get through the love sponge.
So masturbation DOES make you go blind! At least, I'm assuming that's why Aubrey plays the way he does.
Ziggy Sobotka approves.