...aaaaaaand my computer screen is wet.

Holy shit, that's funny.

Boom goes the paraplegic!

He's improved so much so quickly he's become drunk with power! Stop him!

"Oh no...I think I got...HAPPY FEET!!"

/super-old Steve Martin bit

I smell local sports Emmy!

Seriously, that clip is actually funny. A few seconds after the clip stops the guy squirms out of his chair and doofus cop #1 tasers doofus cop #2 by accident.

Wooooooow.

"That is NOT the right video, by the way..."

don't paralyze me bro

Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to make the world's first bionic bailiff-kicking, wheelchair bound tight end in NFL history

damn Everett just lost it...wait huh?

That is the funniest thing I will see today. I just pissed myself.

forget this wheelchair, i just wanna dance

He not only can move, Everett got FRISKY!

That's so funny, it's enough to make a Mets fan smile today.

Why did Emmitt Smith kick that cop?

Raising the question, "If the perp (alleged) needed the chair, how was he able to move so well when he was (accidentally?) spilled?".

Kevin Everett must be stopped

Obviously, all black people look the same to News 12 Sports in Florida.

What we didn't see was Mr. Brady dropping his briefcase causing the guy to spasm so his lawsuit against Jan was thrown out.

Ok, I laughed.

Does hell take reservations or do I just walk up and get a cell?

Apparently, Kevin Edwards has been dining on a steady supply of fetuses.

/South Park

Quick healer, that Kevin Everett...

Obviously, he was healed by John Kitna

And boy did he move his arms and legs today...

Ohmigod is that frigging funny. Have the Bengals signed him yet?

Look what I got! I mean look at me! You got everything, man! Come on! Look what I got to fucking go around with, fucking diapers! I shit my pants everyday! I can't walk, I can't hump... you know? Go ahead and kill me, you COCKSUCKER!

If that's Kevin Everett, the Miami Project needs is going to be worth kerjillion dollars right about now.

Kevin Everett has regain feelings. Unfortunately, he has regained the feelings of Ice T, circa Cop Killer.

You know, I've never actually seen someone attempt a dropkick from a seated position before.

So that's what happened to Merv.

The best part of that "wrong clip" is how the guy in the chair actually gets restrained and wrapped up afterwards.

Seriously, dude reappears in court with a straitjacket and a muzzle.

@Mr. Poon: +1

Roger Goedell just fined Channel 12 $50,000 and suspended their sports anchor for 6 games.

@Suss--: looks like somebody put a body on him.

Didja see that? That's right. That just happened.

"Goodell" *dammit*

What Chi McBride needs to do is sit his ass back down and not kick anymore bailiffs.

Where's the "We are experiencing technical difficulties" screen when you need it? You know, the one with the donkey kicking the camera man. That's classic.

Dang, the Miami murderball team is going to be awful without their scrum-half.

He's got the jimmy legs.

I cannot imagine a reaction to seeing that live.

Silly Canadians.

No way that video was run by accident. That has hilariously disgruntled employee written all over it.

IT'S A MIRACLE!!!!

I'm pretty sure the Bills signed that guy on defense after seeing that clip.

@MrShiz: Or the iconic 'donkey brutalizing the bailiff' card. Johnny Carson's art department was so great.

@TBoRF: I've seen some weird stuff happen in a courtroom.

You'd be amazed what people do when they're about to be sentenced.

White cops - a new cure for paralysis in blacks.

@theslacker: White cops - a new cause for paralysis in blacks.

New York City? Get the rope!

Dont you put that evil on me Kevin Everett!

Someone must have told him he was just traded to the Chiefs.

Gene Hackman sleeps fitfully tonight.

Dammit, you owe a new lunch for that video. Or you can just wipe my old one off my monitor.

Kevin Everett looks like Suge Knight.

First entry in the DHOF video clips wing.

Suspiciously, Gregg Easterbrook's emails asking why the station quickly cut away from the footage have been ignored or dismissed....

I need an old priest and a young priest.

Blink once if you're going to kick the shit out of the bailiff

@Mr. Poon: Actually Deadspin has its own private luxury suite in hell. Come on in. There's burritos.

In the immortal words of Christian Bale, in the movie "Shaft": "Homeboy's got rhythm"