Sebastien Gacond does not associate with this heckler.

I was hoping the heckler would say "So, how do you feel about your impending demotion to the pen?" or "My buddy saw you passed out in an alley in St. Louis. Or was it Chicago? Either way, it was you."

Ingredients of Julian Tavarez include an unknown, glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.

Julian Tavarez contains a liquid core, which if exposed due to rupture
should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.

Discontinue use of Julian Tavarez if any of the following occurs:

* Itching
* Vertigo
* Dizziness
* Tingling in extremities
* Loss of balance or coordination
* Slurred speech
* Temporary blindness
* Profuse Sweating
or
* Heart palpitations.

He's saying, "You guys are seriously lame hecklers."

tavarez is truly one of the biggest jerks in all of baseball, which is saying something. he's also a cheat.

I couldn't watch that with sound, but Tavarez looks to be pretty congenial. Also, cute smile.

If I could hear what he was actually saying I could translate for you..

And the kid just tells him in bad Spanish he has problems.

@Lady Andrea:

Funny - that's what most people said about Ted Bundy.

Now if he said something along the lines of 'vete a tomar por culo' o 'me cago en tu puta madre' then we would be going somewhere

I was hoping he whizzed the ball at the kids dome. But we would've certainly heard about if he had. Bummer.

¿qué?

I can't even see this video, but I assume Julian Tavarez is as terrifying as ever.

@The Gentleman Masher: touche.

Threadjack:

What the fuck is wrong with people?
http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2895875

/threadjack

They would have thrown a slice of pizza at him but they aren't Red Sox fans.

"I find your views interesting and wish to subscribe to your newsletter."

I think he said:

"I am not gay, I have a girlfriend."

I don't know my spanish is a bit rusty.

Tavarez was just in a bad mood because he wasn't snuggling with Manny.

Julian Tavarez apparently does not use ProActiv.

We're getting an MLB Draft post, right?

RIGHT?

Is it just be or does Tavarez look like Freddy Kreuger?

So I'm just assuming that it was SlickBomb in that video....

@buttons: "Humans are just viruses with shoes." - Bill Hicks

@buttons:
New Orleans

Kanye West had a comment on your threadjack. He said:

"This is all Bush's fault. He was fishing during the flood instead of helping people. Really. I saw the pictures on the internets. You see R Kelly and I were looking at pictures of this pole vaulter on the computer, she was too old for R, so I started clicking around and came to this picture of him and his dad fishing on Bourbon Street."

Honestly, I wanted to throw a ball at that "heckler." You're not clever, dipshit.

@buttons: It's actually fairly common for the families of the departed to get robbed while they are at the funeral, as such that the time when they are away is advertised in the paper

@LostinTheOffice: What in the fuck are you talking about?

@Jen P: The old standard gas station reply works well here too. Cept i dont think he could have pulled it off.

"dude we like you cuz you like hit people and stuff"

I see the Yankee fans are slumping as well

"I like you....you're crazy...but I like you."

bad heckling merits being doused in beer by one of your own

It's not in the video but later the same guys broke out the "We want a pitcher, not a belly-itcher" bit.

Simply genius.

@Lady Andrea: He's become the darkhorse candidate for fan and ladies favorite around here.

Something about Boston has definitely softened his personality.

@lieutenant winslow: or that beastly chic at fenway

@Weed Against Speed: I think they also broke out "Pitcher's got a big butt!"

@buttons: The cops should just wait around at Mrs. Hill's house until one of the neighbors says, "I heard you got robbed." then arrest that guy.

/Chris Rock

@RSC: well, after that video of him and Manny snuggling, I just want to hug him.

@Bullet! Bullet! Bullet!: ESPN just offered these guys their own show on ESPN Classic.

I would NOT want to be Terry Francona next week having to tell Tavarez that he's out of the starting rotation because Lester is back.

Albert Belle is unimpressed.

@buttons:
Anybody need a gently used floor buffer?

@Get Him A Body Bag, Yeah!: Tito will just give Tavarez a call--what could go wrong over the phone?

I once walked past Tavarez near GABP after he blew a lead and lost the game for the Cardinals. I was not feeling particularly comfortable being on that sidewalk alone with him knowing he just blew the game.

@Lady Andrea: Me too. He's batshit, but in the cutest way.

Honestly, that dude is at least a big an asshole as Tavares. But at least he can say he'll be sober in the morning.

@RSC:
Yeah, he's the kinder, gentler Oil Can Boyd

@RSC: exactly. I like my cute with a side of crazy. Duh. : )

How can you guys make fun of his complexion? I think he's an incredible humanitarian for his work with the blind, having the complete works of Tolstoy in braille on his face.

@Get Him A Body Bag, Yeah!: They're just not gonna tell him. They find its best to avoid confrontation. Problem solved from their point of view.

Wait...Marquise Hill named his son Mashy? Like Uncle Jemima's Mash Liquor?

@Burnsy: don't sell Tavarez short, he's got the contents of Borges' Library of Babel on his face.

OK, my Spanish is a little rusty, but I think he said, "I'm going to fuck you with Jason Giambi's sandwich."

No, that doesn't look right.

Tavarez is keeping his temper. Somone in the crowd asks if he's from Caguas. Tavarez responds that he's from Arecibo. These are towns in Puerto Rico. There ya go, will.

YouTube just got all futuristic on me.

@rafael:

That's not very funny. Buzzkill.

I thought he said "Bajates los panties"

That's nothing. In 2003 Shitatoshi Haseagawa reared back like he was going to peg me from about 10 feet away. He's little, but still...

@Jen P: He's not big; he's not clever; he's not big oncesoever?

Diary of a Masshole.

Tavarez translation: "The street will flow with the blood of the non-believers"

I think Tavarez, who also starred as the hitman who killed Sean Connery in the Untouchables, said something like "Dear Mr. Dork" ...

@BigTenObsession: nice.

Tavarez doesn't say anything interesting. Some dude in the crowd says "send him to Arecibo" (wherever that is) and Tavarez replies that he should send him to some other place, couldn't quite catch it.

"Tommy, please tell me you got that!"

What a waste of bandwith. At the very least, Tavarez could have buzzed the kid.

Ummm... I just kinda sat there waiting for something to happen.