Keith Law and Rob Neyer, two guys who know more baseball than we've forgotten -- wait ... is that how that phrase goes? -- but they can't vote for the Hall of Fame.

This sentence makes my head hurt more than a lecture on VORP.

This just in: Woody Paige is a questionable journalist. In other news, the Patriots are good.

INVISIBLE SUB SANDWICH!

Wait? Woody Paige is allowed to vote for the HOF? You know what? Fuck it. I'll cave. Just let Bonds, Rose, and McGwire in. It doesn't matter anymore.

GAH!!! Mommy, make the bad melting man stop.

Seriously, Woody Paige votes for the HOF? This explains so much... Jim Rice, I'd send somebody a fruit basket. Or a dead gopher.

At least he admits he is arbitrary with his vote.

Curtis Pride completely ignored Paige one day... Not only will Woody never vote for him, Woody also thinks it is rude that Curtis mocked the way he spoke.

His chalkboard should always say "Jackass" with an arrow. Always.

@Dead Air ummm Dead Air: The ESPN featured comment department thanks you!

You know what that means, in 5 years, I know who gave Neifi Perez that one vote.

Quick Deadspin poll: Who would you rather kill for sport? Woody Paige or Skip Bayless.

Discuss.

The fact that Woody Paige has a Hall of Fame vote sums up everything that is wrong in sports today.

Woody, regarding that Cambodian masseuse - she has to be nice to you, she gets paid for it; now get her off the ballot.

Not only is he a big fan of Goose, Woody Paige is also a big fan of goosing as well.

Woody clearly subscribes to the the "Chico Esquela" method of voting.

"Tim Raines - borrow Woody's pen, and no give it back."

I would vote for him even if he wasn't deserving.

Would he also take off his dentures and give Goose a nice "gummy"?

@Midwestern-City_Water-Vapor:
Trick Question!!! They're the same person.

@Midwestern-City_Water-Vapor: Could i kill Woody Paige with Skip Bayless' lifeless body?

"I would vote for him even if he wasn't deserving."

Your vote means he IS deserving, dicknose! Isn't Woody Paige a synonym for printing a column that fills up space in a barely read newspaper?

@Weed Against Speed: +1. I hear it's good for the gander.

@neckbeardedclam: +1
@Midwestern-City_Water-Vapor: Both.

I was watching a television program before, with a kind of roving moderator who spoke to a seated panel of young women who were having some sort of problem with their boyfriends - apparently, because the boyfriends had all slept with the girlfriends' mothers. And they brought the boyfriends out, and they fought, right there on television. Toby, tell me: these people don't vote, do they?

/Barlett

For the WWL Corrections department - Check out this headline:

[sports.espn.go.com]

Bowden says he's very interesting in job at West Virginia

@neckbeardedclam: INVISIBLE GAY PORN AUDITION

@ghostsoftheSCupcountry: It is a trick question, but only because you can't in fact kill Skip Bayless... he is the effeminate vampire that was kicked out of Transylvania.

Woody is showing the proper way to interview Saint Favre. You must get the hands involved in a good cupping position.

THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!!!!!!!! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!!!!!!

On the front page of espn.com, "Bowden says he's very interesting in job at West Virginia".

Years ago, some douche-nozzle sportswriter refused to vote for Tom Seaver in his first year of eligibility. Why? Because Babe Ruth didn't get 100% of the Hall of Fame vote, so he figured nobody should.

These are the kind of jurassic asswipes that vote for the Hall of Fame. Baseball!

@Shea Guevara: I think that was Bill Conlin. Fat ass POS.

@Shea Guevara: The assclown that didn't vote for Ruth probably wondered how a candy bar could hit so many home runs. Woody Paige does have ancestors, ya know.

It's a good thing Alyssa Milano doesn't vote for the HOF, or the class of 2015 would be 20 deep.

In defense of Woody: 7 years ago, America just wanted to have a beer with one guy more than with another. And that man became president.

But, Goose's BFTPFC (Being Friendly to People from Colorado)is the best among his generation of pitchers.

@Gourmet Spud:

Bad Stuff Bout the Mets

Best baseball book ever.

Isn't Jason Whitlock a NFL HOF voter? Just sayin.

Is he also being sued by Jonathan Lee Riches?

@Midwestern-City_Water-Vapor: Leaving Marriotti out of this would be a travesty.

And I'd take Marriotti out first. At least the other two guys don't get published in my city.

@David Hume: Her?

One time, Woody Paige goosed Goose Gossage's behind with such force that Goose was propelled forward and into the air.

If talking pleasantly with him is his criteria, then Woody would never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever vote for me for the Hall. Also, my stats suck. And I may have been caught using an illegal substance a time or two.

Paige is a moronic oaf, but ultimately harmless. Bayless appears to me, if he had been steered away from sports journalism at a young age, to be the type of guy who organizes lynch mobs, to string up "uppity" black men who hit on white women.

@David Hume: +1. that was beautiful.

@Nacho Friendly: +2 on the Bartlett love. I miss WW...

I'm late to this party -- Deadspin already picked it up -- but I can't resist. FJM Legend Woody Paige wrote an article about his HOF vote.