Deadspin: 2007 SHOTY

Knicks W-L Record Leaked To Dolan

sussman — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 11:35:03 EST

It's come to this. James Dolan is so bored at Knicks games games, he's brought along Winkles the sockpuppet to entertain him. Of course, he could just replace Isiah Thomas with a more competent coach, but he clearly wouldn't do that now, after all they've been through. After giving him a $24 million extension. After Isiah himself said he was apt. Himself! So it appears that downtrodden Knicks fans will just have to ride out ... actually, let me finish that thought after I take a sip of orange juice:

Garden chairman James Dolan recently told confidants that he knows a coaching change must be made and that he is preparing to do just that.

Wasn't expecting that.

Now I must know which one of Dolan's advisors slept in this morning and forgot to cut out the NBA glance in the daily paper, replacing it instead with a coupon for Honey Nut Cheerios.

Source: James Dolan Leaning Toward Firing Isiah Thomas Before Season's End [New York Daily News]

Your SHOTY Winner: Isiah Thomas

Leitch — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 14:20:53 EST

We would like to congratulate Isiah Thomas on his ascendence to the lofty perch of 2007 Deadspin Sportshuman Of The Year.

Isiah's heroic rise from a No. 8 seed was inspiring to anyone whose heart is not cold, withered and dead. He joins the late, great Barbaro as SHOTY winners. Hopefully Isiah survives the title.

Also, a great run for Kige Ramsey, who finished as the runner-up. There's always next year, Kige.

Thanks everyone for voting.

(Graphic by the moonwalking Jim Cooke.)

SHOTY Title Game: Kige Ramsey Vs. Isiah Thomas

Leitch — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 14:20:23 EST

Well, we've come this far, and now it's time to crown a 2007 Sportshuman Of The Year. Fortunately, it didn't take very long.

Voting is open until Thursday night. So you have plenty of time to mull. Our honored finalists.

No. 2 Seed Kige Ramsey
Carried around every book he ever owned in a belt.
Visited Wal-Mart.
Actively did some campaigning.
Expanded his commercial techniques.
Enjoyed Halloween.

No. 8 Seed Isiah Thomas
Don't give a shit about these white people, bitch.
Understands what black people can say, and what white people can't.
Explained sexual harassment to James Dolan.
Got gotten by the bitches.
Successful avoided Stephon Marbury's "dirt."

The vote is in your hands.

Isiah Thomas Is Many Wonderful, Vibrant Shades Of Crazy

rickchand — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 11:40:19 EST

According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, a copy of which I carry at all times, a delusion is defined as: "A false belief based on incorrect inference about external reality." There are three photos of Isiah Thomas next to the entry. Just prior to the Knicks' a 107-97 loss to the Sacramento Kings on Wednesday (remember that the Kings were playing without Ron Artest, Mike Bibby and Kevin Martin), Isiah predicted that, A. The Knicks would win a championship, and B. The team wouldn't be very active before the trading deadline, because no help was needed.

"I know people will laugh even more at me, but I'm hell bent on getting this accomplished and making sure that we get it done," Thomas told the New York Daily News. "And I'm not leaving until we get it done. I believe that one day we will win a championship here. And I believe a couple of these guys will be a part of that. And I believe I'll be a part of that."

Well, you're not the only person with fervent beliefs, my friend.

• "I believe that these slacks will fit." — Mangino

• "I believe that Tom Brady, Ben Affleck, etc., had better watch their bitches" — Kige

• "I believe that an onside kick is prudent now. We'd be stupid NOT to try it." — Stoops

• "I believe that Bob Saget is funny (kill me)." — Conan O'Brien

• "I believe I will head out to the Hamptons and ride my horse, Prickly Pete." — Costanza

• "I believe I'll stop into my office and check my mail ... oh shit ..." — Cam Cameron

• "I believe I'll have another Suzy Q." — Weiss

Isiah Thomas Predicts A Title [New York Daily News]

SHOTY Final Four: Elijah Dukes Vs. Isiah Thomas

Leitch — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 17:15:19 EST

Because it's New Years Eve, and we're taking tomorrow off, we figured we'd go ahead and let this post ride the rest of the night and all day tomorrow. (At least until we do our "ZOOOOK" post after the Illini shock the world in the Rose Bowl.)

The title matchup will be on Monday, and it looks like Kige Ramsey has himself a slot. But this one should close. Screw Iowa: The polls are already open here.

No. 4 Seed: Elijah Dukes

Explored the possibilities lent to us by cellular technology.
Impregnated a foster child.
Became a sports radio star.
You divorced, dawg.

It's a big week coming up, very busy, so vote tonight and on New Years Day, and we'll be back with a full slate on Wednesday. Be safe out there tonight.

SHOTY Final Four: Kige Ramsey Vs. Pac Man Jones

Leitch — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 14:20:35 EST

This is it, folks: We're at the Final Four. Look out: There's Billy Packer! Bah! Grrr!

Again, a matchup of polar opposite human beings. But, in that Tennessee Titans way, they are teammates. Voting is open for about a week, and we'll occasionally remind.

No. 2 Seed Kige Ramsey
Carried around every book he ever owned in a belt.
Visited Wal-Mart.
Actively did some campaigning.
Expanded his commercial techniques.
Enjoyed Halloween.

No. 3 Seed Pac Man Jones
Introduced the phrase "Make It Rain" to a nation of grateful white people.
Scared his family.
Missed out on watching Vince Young play quarterback this season.
Didn't rassle, darnit.

Get on there and vote, folks.

SHOTY Elite Eight: Pac Man Jones Vs. Sean Salisbury

Leitch — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:10:41 EST

As we eye that looming upset, we look at our final Elite Eight matchup.

By the way, the first final four matchup with be posted Wednesday, the day after Christmas — yes, we're working — and the second final four matchup will be posted on New Years Eve. We're working then too.

No. 6 Seed Sean Salisbury
Displayed his photographic skills.
Accidentally said "Jew."
Met The Balls.
Established a Web presence.

So, who makes the Final Four?

The New York Knicks Will Not Tolerate Your Taunts

rickchand — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 10:40:40 EST

If you're a major sports franchise that's trying to survive rough times, you do anything you can to keep the fans on your side ... winning hearts and minds is almost as important as winning games. So that's why, naturally, the New York Knicks on Monday ejected a fan for holding up a "Fire Isiah' sign in the stands; allowing a small security issue to escalate into a huge debate on free speech. Fans have organized a 'Fire Isiah' rally for today: 11 a.m., 7th Ave. side of The Garden, if you happen to be in the area. Really, could being a Knicks' fan be any more soul wrenching?

It happened late in Monday's Knicks-Pacers game when a fan seated one row behind the Knicks team bench and only a few feet from Isiah Thomas held up a sign calling for Thomas' ouster as team president and coach. Garden security invoked the arena's "signs and banners policy," which states that "any interference with the enjoyment of another guest's experience will result in the confiscation of the sign and/or possible ejection from the facility."

Interference with the enjoyment of another guest's experience? Then technically, shouldn't Isiah be forced to leave his seat?

Or, as a Times' commenter suggested, what if a couple thousand fans all showed up to the next game with 'Fire Isiah' signs? Does security break out the water cannon?

Just to be safe and helpful, the New York Daily News included a full-page "Fire Isiah" sign in this morning's editions. We disagree, though; as we've said before, we don't want Isiah to ever, ever leave.

Pink Slip For Thomas? Fan Says Sign Right Here [New York Times]
Fan Ejected For Holding 'Fire Isiah' Sign [New York Daily News]

SHOTY Elite Eight: Ron Mexico Vs. Isiah Thomas

Leitch — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 14:20:13 EST

In the first round, No. 1 seed Ron Mexico/Michael Vick/Ookie was more wobbly than we might have suspected. He could be ripe for an Elite Eight upset.

So, let's get right to it:

No. 1 Seed Ron Mexico
Suffered some weed-stashing problems.
Appears to have electrocuted puppies.
Fessed up.
Mercifully suspended by the NFL.
Checked into prison.

So, let's see how this turns out.

SHOTY Elite Eight: Kige Ramsey Vs. Brady Quinn

Leitch — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 12:25:41 EST

UPDATE: Poll is now fixed. Sorry about that.
Only in this deranged universe of ours could these two human beings compete against each other in anything. One thing they do have in common: Neither has ever thrown an NFL pass.

Should be a fun one.

No. 2 Seed Kige Ramsey
Carried around every book he ever owned in a belt.
Visited Wal-Mart.
Actively did some campaigning.
Expanded his commercial techniques.
Enjoyed Halloween.

No. 7 Seed: Brady Quinn
Sat in a crowded room, then left.
Grabbed some underage crotch.
Went all dance party marathon on us.
Rocked out.

So, who's on the way to Final Four?

SHOTY Elite Eight: Elijah Dukes Vs. Gilbert Arenas

Leitch — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 14:20:24 EST

At last, we have completed the endless first round of the 2007 Sportshuman Of The Year tournament. It only took a month. Now we're down the nitty-gritty: The Elite Eight.

All seeds held in the first round, which just proves the seeding committee did a good job. (Note: This does not actually prove this.) So the big dawgs are all set for the second round ... and we've got a tough one right off the bat.

No. 4 Seed: Elijah Dukes

Explored the possibilities lent to us by cellular technology.
Impregnated a foster child.
Became a sports radio star.
You divorced, dawg.

No. 5 Seed Gilbert Arenas
Dunked off a trampoline.
Stole a joke.
Helped you with your love life.
Talked to us.

So, who makes the Final Four? Vote, vote like the wind.

SHOTY First Round: Isiah Thomas Vs. Marques Slocum

Leitch — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 15:10:20 EST

We come, AT LAST, to the end of the first round of SHOTY voting. Yes, it's taken a while; just be glad we have 16 competitors, rather than 64. We would have had to start in June.

Nothing has been close so far — though that Vick race was intriguingly close — but this is the 8-9 matchup. And it's two of our favorites; both are probably underseeded. So:

No. 9 Seed Marques Slocum
got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me.

So, vote: We're excited to see the results of this one.

SHOTY First Round: Ron Mexico Vs. Mark Mangino

Leitch — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 14:20:01 EST

Pretty much every first-round SHOTY matchup has been a blowout. And we doubt this No. 1 vs. No. 16 matchup will be much different.

The biggest trouble with this one? Whether to go with Vick, Mexico or Ookie.

No. 1 Seed Ron Mexico
Suffered some weed-stashing problems.
Appears to have electrocuted puppies.
Fessed up.
Mercifully suspended by the NFL.
Checked into prison.

No. 16 Seed Mark Mangino
Fat.

So, make your picks. The final first-round matchup is Thursday.

SHOTY First Round: Pac Man Jones Vs. Norby!

Leitch — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 15:10:03 EST

Every single SHOTY first-round matchup has been a blowout. We are not sure this will be any different; the Deadspin Planet is of one mind these days.

Anyway, here are two people who have probably never sat down together for tea, which is a shame; they might learn they have more in common than they think. Or maybe not.

No. 14 Seed Norby!
Co-authored a rather awesome memo
Has funny name.
"Hey, how are ya? Couple of things ..."

So, who's making it to the next round?

SHOTY First Round: Sean Salisbury Vs. Rick Ankiel

Leitch — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 14:20:25 EST

After almost a week off, the 2007 SHOTY Tournament returns with a matchup of two very different human beings.

All we know is that we're in love with them both.

No. 6 Seed Sean Salisbury
Displayed his photographic skills.
Accidentally said "Jew."
Met The Balls.
Established a Web presence.

No. 11 Seed Rick Ankiel
Returned.
Amazed.
Inspired.
Absolutely nothing else happened whatsoever, nope.

So, vote, kids.

SHOTY First Round: Gilbert Arenas Vs. Steely McBeam

Leitch — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 15:10:25 EST

It's SHOTY frenzy this week; two in two days. You now can spend your Thanksgiving playing around with online polls. Fun!

We haven't had any close races in the SHOTY yet. We'll see how this one goes.

No. 5 Seed Gilbert Arenas
Dunked off a trampoline.
Stole a joke.
Helped you with your love life.
Talked to us.

No. 12 Seed Steely McBeam

Introduced as FABULOUS.
Impersonated a Village Person.

So, who wins?

SHOTY First Round: Kige Ramsey Vs. Joey Chestnut

Leitch — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 14:20:18 EST

Because Thursday is, you know, Thanksgiving, we're gonna have voting both today and tomorrow. It'll put you in the mood for tryptophan.

It's No. 2 seed Kige Ramsey vs. No. 15 seed Joey Chestnut. We think in real life, these guys might be friends.

No. 2 Seed Kige Ramsey
Carried around every book he ever owned in a belt.
Visited Wal-Mart.
Actively did some campaigning.
Expanded his commercial techniques.
Enjoyed Halloween.

No. 15 Seed Joey Chestnut

Became an American hero.

So, get out there and vote!

SHOTY First Round: Brady Quinn Vs. Alex Rodriguez

Leitch — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 13:35:33 EST

The first matchup, on Tuesday, was a blowout. We suspect this one will be a little closer.

It's No. 7 seed Brady Quinn against No. 10 seed Alex Rodriguez. We don't know if these two are friends, but maybe they should be: They probably would have a lot to talk about.

No. 7 Seed: Brady Quinn
Sat in a crowded room, then left.
Grabbed some underage crotch.
Went all dance party marathon on us.
Rocked out.

No. 10 Seed: Alex Rodriguez
"Wrote" a children's book.
Dug deep.
Made friends with "she-male, muscular types."
Opted out while we were occupied with other matters.
Changed his mind. Maybe.

So, who's gonna make the Elite Eight? Vote below.

SHOTY First Round: Elijah Dukes Vs. Jeff Reed

Leitch — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 14:20:51 EST

OK, folks ... it's time for the voting to begin. Let's all give big-up to the genius that is Jim Cooke for his official SHOTY graphic. The 2007 SHOTY voting will run every Tuesday and Thursday until, well, 2008 probably. We love Kige there.

Voting will remain open until the end of the first round ... so let's get started. It's No. 4 seed Elijah Dukes vs. No. 13 Jeff Reed. A look at the nominees:

No. 4 Seed: Elijah Dukes

Explored the possibilities lent to us by cellular technology.
Impregnated a foster child.
Became a sports radio star.
You divorced, dawg.

No. 13 Seed Josh Reed

Revealed some kicker dong.
Partied.
Partied some more.

So, go vote: Who makes it to the Final Eight?