This photo doesn't really have anything to do with anything, but it makes a nice palate cleanser to start your day, I think. Come on, it's Greg Oden in a bunny suit. That's .... cute? How did Spike Jonze make a movie about furry overgrown children and forget to cast the least child-like man-child ever? Or did Oden just drop out with an ankle injury?

Seriously, though. Nice costume.

Greg Oden's Pre-Halloween and Season Celebration [Blaze of Love]

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Monday. Here we go.

The Massachusetts DMV (or "RMV," for some reason) produces all kinds of specialty plates, at 40 bucks a pop, with $28 of that going to charity. The catch is that 1500 people need to pre-order the plates before they'll physically start making them.

The plates went on offer in late 2006, and officials expected them to be a quick seller. After all, the Red Sox and Patriots plates had no trouble reaching the benchmark, and even the Bruins got it done in five months.

But the Kevin Garnett trade came and went, and no dice. The 2008 championship came and went, and still nothing. Finally last month the 1500th Celtics fan made themselves known, and the license plates can now officially be produced.

Not good news for bragging rights for Bostonians. If you ask an Angeleno, adorning your car is the best and only way to prove fandom
.
For Celtics Fans, Waiting Was Plate Of Frustration [Boston Globe]

Because I've had my fill of hate mail recently, and because OKC fans have already made their feelings known when I dared to suggest that the wind is the defining feature of their city, I'm going to refrain from pointing out that if KD played in New York or L.A., there are actually clubs and bars that are open on Thursdays.

But I will say there's a certain segment of our audience, perhaps from a certain Pacific Northwest city, that's not exactly rooting against the Thunder's franchise player going down with a career-ending slap-related injury.

I Guess This Is How You Pass The Time On An Off Day [Daily Thunder]

Kahn provided the letter to the Timberwolves blog, On the Wolves, for dissemination. The new general manager for the T-Wolves wants the fans to know he is not happy about the way the season has started and he will not accept it, nor will he give up. In fact, he's just going to dedicate himself even more to attempting to correct the team's shortcomings.

At times like these, I am motivated to work harder. I want to scout more, watch more film, crunch more numbers, ask more questions. I know Kurt and the coaching staff feel the same. The coaches are the strength of our ballclub right now – I am proud to be working with them. We all recognized when we signed up for this mission that it takes a Herculean effort, from all corners, to turn around a franchise and make it championship-caliber.

I understand that it should be considered refreshing that a general manager would choose to be up front and honest with a team's fans, and that a proactive approach such as this should be applauded. On other other hand, it has all the appearances of an act of desperation by an already beleaguered GM only 10 games into the season.

But who knows? Maybe Kahn can turn the crappy franchise around - as former Timberwolves star KG once said, "ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!!!"

But seriously, it aint going to happen.

From David Kahn [On the Wolves]

And he'll petition the rest of the league to do likewise:

"He can't get the logo, and if he can't, something has to be done. I feel like no NBA player should wear 23. I'm starting a petition, and I've got to get everyone in the NBA to sign it. Now, if I'm not going to wear No. 23, then nobody else should be able to wear it."

[...]

"If you see 23, you think about Michael Jordan," James said. "You see game-winning shots, you think about Michael Jordan; you see guys fly through the air, you think about Michael Jordan; you see fly kicks, you think about Michael Jordan. He did so much, it has to be recognized, and not just by putting him in the Hall of Fame."

LeBron says he'll wear No. 6 in homage to Dr. J, the day of his first child's birth, the month of his second child's birth, his own Olympics jersey and the total number of people in America who do not yet own any LeBron James-related merchandise.

LeBron James planning to give up No. 23 out of respect for Michael Jordan, urges others to do same [Cleveland Plain Dealer]
LeBron James Plans to Change Number, Asks Others To Do Same For Michael Jordan [The Baseline]

I don't know sign language, but I think Steve Nash might have had a problem with Violet Palmer's officiating in last night's game against the Lakers. (The Suns got crushed, btw.) Or maybe he's just invested in a LensCrafters franchise and wants to make sure everyone in the NBA has quality, stylish eyewear. He can take care of that for you in about a hour.

They say the eyes are the window to the soul—which must explain why most NBA refs have souls that are crusted with bird poo. Hey ... THAT'S THREE SECONDS!

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Good morning, peoples. 10-6? Can that be right? Cutler almost had more INTs than the Bears had points and they still could have won? Good thing I still don't get the NFL Network.

I thought this Friday might never come ... but what if it never leaves?

UPDATE: There's a video, too.

Image via LA Weekly

NBA: Discipline Team Owner for Housing Discrimination [Tenants Together]

In January 2006 in New York, the patient of a well-known psychiatrist draws the face of this man that has been repeatedly appearing in her dreams. In more than one occasion that man has given her advice on her private life. The woman swears she has never watched Kazaam in her life.

So begins the descent into madness that is "Ever Dream This Man?," a bizarre web site that claims to tackle the issue of why thousands of people the world over see Shaq Diesel in their dreams each night.

There are theories ("According to this theory this man is the image of the Creator, I believe this theory to be true."), descriptions of the dreams ("I have never had homosexual relationships or even fantasies. But I dream about having sexing with this man all the time. I must admit he has a lot of imagination and he pleases me. Sometimes when I wake up I discover I too have a wig on."), and, of course, a CafePress shop.

So, is this a harmless prank? Or are we dealing with forces far beyond human understanding? If you've dreamt of Shaquille O'Neal, please relate it in the comments.

UPDATE: As pointed out, it's a Shaqcentric parody of this web site. This still raises more questions than it answers.

The settlement is said to be the largest of its kind. Dan Wetzel rightly wonders why more people aren't talking about Sterling. Maybe it's because there's just so much to talk about that no one knows where to begin:

• In 2003, 19 tenants and the Housing Rights Center filed a housing discrimination lawsuit against Sterling, one of the biggest landowners in Los Angeles. (That case, too, was settled.) According to depositions given by one of Sterling's property supervisors and obtained by ESPN The Magazine's Peter Keating, Sterling didn't like renting to black people ("they smell"), Mexican-Americans ("just sit around and smoke and drink all day") and people with children ("brats"), though he did like Koreans because "they will take whatever conditions I give them and still pay the rent." (The property supervisor, Sumner Davenport, sued Sterling for sexual harassment. She lost.)

• When a tenant asked to be compensated for water damage in her flooded apartment, Sterling allegedly told Davenport, "Just evict the bitch."

• According to former general manger Elgin Baylor, Sterling envisioned a "Southern Plantation type structure" for the Clippers, one in which, as he allegedly put it to Baylor, "poor black boys from the South" played for a white head coach.

• Sterling bought the Clippers in 1981 for $13 million. The franchise is now valued at $300 million. On his watch, the Clippers have lost 50 games in a season 20 times. Long ago, Sterling realized — correctly — that an owner could turn a tidy and effortless profit under the NBA's revenue-sharing system merely by losing cheaply and relying on the league's ever-fattening coffers.

• The NBA once fined Sterling $10,000 for suggesting the Clippers tank to help their draft position.

• As reported here, Sterling's scorekeepers in the late 1990s routinely and dramatically undercounted the Clippers' assist totals. Deliberate or not, the effect was to depress the value of the team's own players.

• According to Franz Lidz in Sports Illustrated, Sterling would refuse to add players even after injuries left the roster at the league minimum of eight. "The Clippers came close to forfeiting a game after forward Michael Brooks had oral surgery," Lidz wrote. "Brooks had to suit up, and he actually played, though his jaw was as swollen as Sterling's ego."

• Sterling once welshed on a $1,000 prize for a free-throw shooting contest, forcing the winner, a lawyer and season ticketholder named Michael Spilger, to sue. More than a year later, according to Lidz, Spilger got his money.

• During his first season as owner, according to Sports Illustrated, Sterling reportedly wanted to save money by jettisoning the team trainer. He asked coach Paul Silas if he would mind taping up players before games.

• According to Sports Illustrated: "Sterling is also said to have proposed to trim the team budget for his second season by slashing training-camp expenses from more than $50,000 to about $100, scouting from more than $20,000 to about $1,000, advertising from more than $200,000 to less than $9,000 and medical expenses from about $10,000 to $100."

• Sterling would solicit "hostesses" for private parties and Clippers events, one of whom told ESPN The Magazine: "Working for Donald Sterling was the most demoralizing, dehumanizing experience of my life. He asked me for seminude photos and made it clear he wanted more."

• A former employee sued Sterling for sexual harassment in 1996. According to testimony obtained by ESPN The Magazine, Sterling would order her to find massage therapists, saying, "I want someone who will, you know, let me put it in or who [will] suck on it." The case was settled.

• In 2003, Sterling acknowledged paying a woman named Alexandra Castro $500 every time "she provided sex." He testified: "It was purely sex for money, money for sex, sex for money, money for sex." He would call her honey, but for decidedly unromantic reasons. "I'm a very flowery man," he said. "If you are having sex with a woman you are paying for, you always call her honey because you can't remember her name."

And that's just a partial list. Remember Sterling the next time someone projects his private demographic terrors on all the "thugs" in the NBA. In his time as the Clippers' owner, he has behaved far more repulsively than any wayward player ever suspended by David Stern; if Sterling were a small forward, he'd be looking for a run in Minsk right about now. But he's an owner and a wealthy real-estate magnate, and for those reasons and no other, a league so concerned about its public image that it tells its players how to dress will happily overlook the fact that Donald T. Sterling is a cheap, whoring bigot.

L.A. Clippers' Sterling Settles Housing Bias Lawsuit [Bloomberg]
Uncontested: The life of Donald Sterling [ESPN The Magazine]
Up And Down In Beverly Hills [Sports Illustrated]

Ronald Jones was pulled over after he was spotted driving erratically in the Dallas suburb of Richardson. He failed a field sobriety test, but "declined" to take a breathalyzer....

And then according to police, it got ugly.

"When the officers went to place the handcuffs on Mr. Jones he did resist by moving his hand forward instead of behind his back. They were forced to take him to the ground to get better control of him and he did sustain some injuries to his face," Wakefield said.

Did you hear that? He moved his hand! Glad to see the officers keep the dangerous tasers in the holster and handle things the old fashioned way. Jones was charged with driving while intoxicated, but not with resisting arrest since that one has already been taken care of.

Ronald Popeye Jones Charged with DWI [My Fox DFW]