The vocabulary of grief is always limited, but don't the tired old martial clichés seem wildly out of place in any memorial to a man who died with two bullets in his head? A sampling:

Eddie George, former Titans running back: "a warrior"

Al Del Greco, former Titans kicker: "a warrior"

Donna Doss, Nashville interior designer and Titans season ticketholder: "a warrior, and he always gave us 110%"

Brad Hopkins, former Titans left tackle: "a warrior and a competitor"

Selma McNair, father: "a good soldier ... a warrior"

Robert Headley, Associated Content: "a warrior and the definition of a field general"

Jason Whitlock, Foxsports.com: "a warrior who fought the wrong war."

Steve Young, Hall of Fame quarterback: "a warrior who battled"

David Ginsburg, Associated Press: "a warrior on the football field"

Fred Faour, Houston Sports Examiner: "a warrior on the field who often took a beating"

Cam Inman, Contra Costa Times: "a warrior in the Coliseum in AFC title game vs. Raiders"

Blaine Bishop, former Titans safety: "an absolute warrior as a player"

Floyd Reese, former Titans GM: "a tremendous leader and an absolute warrior"

Michael Lombardi, National Football Post: "a true warrior"

Jemele Hill, ESPN.com: "the football warrior"

Jay Mariotti, FanHouse: "a Sunday warrior"

Pete Prisco, CBSSports.com: "an NFL warrior," "a warrior"

Allen Wilson, Buffalo News: "Hall of Fame warrior"

Peter Finney, New Orleans Times-Picayune: "like some warrior poet"

Frank Wycheck, former Titans tight end: "what a warrior was all about"

Warren Moon, Hall of Famer and former Oilers quarterback: "one of the great warriors to ever put on a football uniform at any position"

Jerome Solomon, Houston Chronicle: "Most certainly, the word you will see and hear the most over the next few days when players, coaches, media and fans talk about McNair will be 'warrior,' because that he was. A football warrior."

Over two dozen people with ties to the New Orleans Saints invested in a company called Louisiana Film Studios. A film studio in Louisiana sounds like a bit of an oxymoron, but it is actually a common and popular tax dodge thanks to generous credits given by the state to anyone who thinks it's a good idea to film a movie in a swamp. (Studios are allowed to sell the tax credits to wealthy individuals who then write the credit off on their taxes. The money turns into Heaven's Prisoners.)

It's a perfectly legitimate financial maneuver—provided the studio has actually been granted the credits by the state, which Louisiana Film Studios had not. The investors (including coach Sean Payton, Drew Brees, and Archie Manning) say they were duped and could lose all their money. Defensive end Charles Grant risked the most at $425,000.

So what does that have to do with Houser? In addition to being the longest-serving current member of the Saints, it seems he was the go-to financial expert on the team—he's a registered broker—and the only one who actually had direct contact with the studio. So because his teammates were stupid enough to write checks for hundreds of thousands of dollars based on the advice of a long snapper, Houser is out of job. (His profile page has already been scrubbed from the Saints website.) And possibly $125,000 of his own money that he, least of all, can afford to lose.

(Oh, and he runs a charity for sick kids. It just gets worse and worse.)

The head of the studio says it's all a big misunderstanding—the FBI never seems to understand—and the players will get their money back as soon as he finds new investors. (This is what's known as a pyramid scheme.) As for Houser ... I have this great script about a backup center who solves crimes with the help of a talking dog. It's gold.

More than two dozen with ties to the New Orleans Saints invested in movie studio deal [New Orleans Times-Picayune]
Former Saint Houser searching for answers [WWL TV]
Related: Saints Nation: Could Kevin Houser's Job be in Jeopardy? [Saint's Nation]

UPDATE: Darren Rovell is reporting on his twitter account that McNair was shot and killed by his wife in an apparent murder-suicide.

UPDATE 2: Now Rovell's source is pulling back on that report. No more until we actually learn something.

Steve McNair Found Shot To Death [NewsChannel5.com]

Timmy Chang, former star quarterback at the University of Hawaii and recently released professional journeyman, was arrested Thursday in Mililani, Hawaii, and is being investigated for robbery for his role in a brawl that took place back on June 1st. A 23-year-old woman told police she was filming the melee when Chang, 27, approached her and told her to stop. A struggle ensued, he grabbed her camera and then "threw it on the roof of a nearby building".

Chang, soon to be a.k.a. "Uncle Rico" or "Chris Finch", was let go by the CFL's Winnipeg Blue Bombers back in February, after having spent time in the NFL with the Cardinals, Lions and Eagles. He had a stellar college career with the Warriors, where he was a Heisman Trophy candidate (in 2003) and threw for an NCAA-record 17,072 passing yards, presumably all with footballs.

Ex-UH quarterback arrested [Honolulu Advertiser]

NFL.com's Vic Carucci went to the NFL Rookie Symposium and sat in on Smith's address. It was a doozy, something like Walter Reuther with a bass beat:

"The fundamental truth of progress is that we only surpass history when we embrace it," Smith said. "Mature thought is a thought where we now understand not only what we do and who we are, but where we are and where we exist in the world.

"If you let people define you as just a player, I guarantee you one thing: You will lose. So who are you? You're fathers, you're sons, you're brothers, you're husbands. Hamlet talked about that famous question: What is it to be? If you remember any part of that soliloquy, the answer to his question was the question itself. It was an understanding of who he was in relation to the world in which he lived. He was a brother, he was father, he was husband, he was a son. That's who you are."

[...]

That includes, Smith said, remaining a "vital participant" in the world. He then discussed how a week ago, French President Nicolas Sarkozy addressed both houses of parliament for the first time in 150 years. "That doesn't seem like that big of a deal," said Smith, "except the last person to do that was Napoleon."

"You saw students in Iran walk up and down the streets to protest the lack of democracy for the first time in almost 50 years. Why? Because they challenged status quo," Smith said. "Last week you had people who fought on the streets of Iran. Why? Because they wanted to have a vote.

"There are things that we have to battle, and the blessing for us is that our battles, for the most part, will be about the game of football. But each and every day, things are happening in our world that truly inspire change, that inspire progress. And it is our job to grab hold of that and ride that thing because we are participants in what we do in our world.

"And, oh by the way, to quote (rapper) Young Jeezy, 'The last time I looked up, yeah, my president's black.'"

I think it's safe to say no sports labor boss has ever talked this way (so what if his oratory outstrips his grasp of history and Elizabethan theater); certainly not Gene Upshaw, a remote and vaguely hostile figure to his own clients. And this shouldn't be regarded as mere fancy-talk, either. Pro Football Talk had a bit of sport with his high-flown cultural references, but Smith's approach here — of connecting football's nettlesome labor issues with larger matters of social justice — is a smart one, and certainly much-needed. Consider the excellent account in today's Wall Street Journal of Smith's efforts to educate the players on the twisted economics of the league:

"How many people here know the National Football League is a non-profit?" DeMaurice Smith, the longtime Washington, D.C., lawyer asks 75 members of the Seattle Seahawks. No hands rise.

"How many people here know that the NFL has a special antitrust exemption granted to them by Congress?" Again, no hands. "We all understand the difference between a strike and a lockout?" Silence and blank stares.

[...]

About 75 minutes into Mr. Smith's seminar, the lessons begin to sink in.

Mr. Houshmandzadeh raises his hand and asks if it's OK to start talking about the public funding for the stadiums and the anti-trust exemptions when sportswriters interview him in the locker room. Mr. Smith tells him he should, and if writers don't publish his sentiments he shouldn't talk to them anymore.

This all very good strategy, especially with near-certain labor unrest looming in 2011. The players, more than Smith, more than even Roger Goodell, will be the face of that unrest, and at that point it will be their job to remind the public of the difference between a strike and a lockout. Charlie Batch, at least, has already gotten the message, which is a first.

NFLPA head Smith urges rookies to examine life beyond football [NFL.com]
Mr. Smith Gets Down to Business [Wall Street Journal]

With the exception of Denny McClain's bizarre lounge act, they almost always try their hands at rap. That's why it's refreshing, and not a little terrifying, to hear that three Dallas Cowboys have signed a deal to put out a heavy metal record.

Offensive linemen Marc Colombo (guitar/vocals), Leonard Davis (bass) and Corey Procter (drums) are Free Reign, and bill themselves as "heavier than metal." (Get it? Because they're grotesquely overweight?) They've signed with Australia's Riot Entertainment, label of such luminaries as Chris Jericho's band Fozzy, and someone called The Berzerker. But guess what? They're not bad!

Give a listen to them on their MySpace page. OK, lyrics like "A meltdown of humanity/Watching our world die/A stream of brutality/It flows from hatred" could have been written on my Trapper Keeper in 7th grade, and first single "Last Goodbye" sounds like Godsmack gone soft. But they play their own instruments, and they're competent, and that's enough to dub them best crossover athlete/musicians in history.

As we speak, 24 current and former NFL players are sequestered in beautiful Mt. Laurel, New Jersey, learning the finer points of Telestrator drawing, anecdote stretching, and name-dropping that is required of all football broadcasters. They are taking part in the NFL's three-day "Broadcast Boot Camp," a training ground put together by NFL Films and the Players Association to ensure that CBS and Fox will have a never-ending supply of banal talking heads to fill their Sunday afternoon schedules.

It will include hands-on work in areas such as tape study, editing, show preparation, radio production, control room operation, studio preparation, production meetings, field reporting and game preparation. Each player will tape segments as a studio and game analyst and take part in a networking session with television executives. Each player also will serve as a live radio host on SIRIUS NFL Radio.

You think it's easy to spout things like, "If you want to win in this league, you need a solid running game!" or "Troy Polamalu is a flat-out competitor who just wants to win!" off the top of your head? No, you need people like Ron Jaworski and Solomon Wilcots to teach you that shit. And just look at some of the names you can expect to be yelling at you during that late season Rams-Falcons game in the next couple of years....

Kyle Brady! Bryant McFadden! Jerrell Pippens!! Atwaan Randle-El! La'Roi Glover! Priest Holmes! Maurice Jones-Drew! Joe Jurevicius! Matt Light! There are so many more, but space and my inability to recognize their name prevents me from printing them all here. That's not even counting the guys they turned away. Yes, Priest Holmes had to apply for TV boot camp.

By the way, stay tuned because later this summer I'll be unveiling plans for my blogger boot camp. Day 1: How To Pick The Right Parent's Basement.

NFL Broadcasters Boot Camp a Hit with the Former and Current Players [Sports Radio Interviews]
Broadcast Bootcamp [NFLPA]
NFL 2009: NFL Broadcast Boot Camp [Sportscapper Island]

Pearlman's yarn:

One of my favorite all-time stories is about Elvis Grbac (left), Rich Gannon (right) and People Magazine's Sexiest Men issue from 1998. It is both outlandish and 100-percent true.

Back in the day I knew many People staffers, and they were all cool, fun, intelligent-and woefully ignorant about sports. Every year, in planning the Sexiest Men issue, People's editors would ask a bunch of us at Sports Illustrated for suggestions and insight. In 1998, for a reason I'll never understand, they decided not to seek out help.

The magazine chose Rich Gannon as its Sexiest Athlete. At the time, Gannon was a member of the Kansas City Chiefs. Still a couple of seasons removed from his golden tenure with the Raiders, Gannon was 33, handsome and likable. In other words, a solid choice. Yet People, being People, simply informed the photographer assigned to the piece that the Sexiest Athlete was the Chiefs' quarterback. Hence, he took pictures of the Chiefs' quarterback. Well, one of the Chiefs' quarterbacks: Elvis Grbac.

Yup.

The pictures made their way back to the New York offices, and editors were dumbfounded. This was their Sexiest Athlete? Yet upon learning the truth, no one with the magazine had the heart (guts?) to tell Grbac that an unfathomable mistake had been made. As a result, Elvis Grbac reigns as People's 1998 Sexiest Athlete.

The article's final line says it all: "His personality makes him sexy."

Amen.

Oof. Maybe this should be added to the "Elvis Grbac" definition on Urban Dictionary.

Elvis Grbac: Not As Sexy As Originally Indicated [Jeff Pearlman]

You see, the New York Jets' kicker isn't just one of those dumb jocks who misses three field goals in one game. He follows the news and has a working knowledge of history. He went to the University of Michigan, and he graduated. Also, he thinks Barack Obama is really a socialist Muslim whose policies are meant to cripple the country, and for some reason, Feely isn't a fan. (Or, you know, something like that.)

Worldly, well-spoken and capable of alluding to the foundation of character traits that makes Amuricah great? Sign this guy up for The Great American Panel, and spell his name right, if you can.

So last night, when Feely hobnobbed with Hannity and two other white men, the conversation dealt with Iran. Hannity cited Reagan and Solidarity — what else would he do? — and when he turned to Feely for insight, the placekicker didn't whiff. He quoted the 19th-century clergyman Phillips Brooks (not Phillip Brooks, mind you), and even better, he referenced leadership in the process. He talked about character and honor. He brought up Iran, and North Korea, and some dude named Chavez. It was almost like he had an offensive coordinator feeding talking points in his ear.

Per Feely's Twitter bio — the ADD version of Wikipedia — the kicker is a "golfing fanatic, fishermen, Christian, with political aspirations." Wonder which party has his vote.

Nate Silver, start breaking down the polls: Feely 2012!

The boys were called on stage during the band's performance of King of New Orleans. Gentlemen, Kenny Chesney would like an explanation.

Photo via friend of CajunBoy

Kosar owes almost $1.5 million in "unsecured debt" to the Cleveland Browns, who he played for from 1985 to 1993. Kosar also owes his ex-wife Babette $3 million and $725,000 (from a personal loan) to the owner of the Cleveland Gladiators of the Arena Football League. He owes a bank more than $9 million for bad real estate deals.

You know you're screwed when two of your biggest creditors are your ex-wife and your former boss. A statement released by his lawyer blames the bad economy.

''His misplaced trust and reliance on those close to him to manage his businesses and finances along with the global recession has been the impetus of this last resort,'' the statement said.

His ex-wife tells it a little bit differently.

She accused him of acting ''financially irrationally and irresponsibly'' by ''giving away money'' and other assets, according to court documents. Kosar, indeed, told The Miami Herald in 2006 that he gives away money, calling himself ''very generous.''

If generous=foolish, then I'd say he's about right. This is just another example of athletes not taking the initiative to learn about their own finances. Do your homework, utilize trustworthy financial advisers and pay attention to where your cash is going. And never ever let your ex-wife see you giving money to charity that could be used for her botox injections.

While Henry hasn't been ordered to pay child support to Vanessa Colbert as of yet, she insists that he is, in fact, the father. This would bring his total to 11 children with 10 different mothers. The good news is that now he can field a football team.

The bad news is that he's currently behind in all of his court ordered child support payments, which total $15,000 a month. That's a tall order for a man who is currently in federal custody for violating his release order stemming from drug trafficking charges. But seriously, how's a guy gonna pay his child support if you take away his 11 pounds of cocaine?

It's all a hot mess. When you need a flow chart to keep track of your kids, you made a wrong turn somewhere. He still hasn't surpassed Calvin Murphy, who has 14 children by 9 women, but Henry's still young. He has a long life of unprotected sex ahead of him.

Travis Henry Explains How He Knocked Up All Those Women [Deadspin]

This column is a perennial among NFL writers, and it is perennially wrongheaded. Banks, to his credit, manages not to attribute anything to "hip-hop culture," that battered old scarecrow that usually makes a regrettable appearance whenever a writer asks, as Banks does, "What gives with the guys who play at the NFL's 'diva' position?" His mistake here, and he admits as much, is to tally up wildly variegated anecdotal examples of eccentric wide receiver behavior, lump them all together, and assume that the list is longer than it would be for any other position.

It isn't. In fact, wide receivers aren't at all the outliers we tend to think them to be. I'm plagiarizing myself here, but this bears repeating: Generally speaking, wide receivers may be the most normal people on the field.

In 2006, a couple of researchers with CPP, a company that administers personality tests, looked at the personality profiles of each NFL position:

You'll notice that, in category after category, the wide receiver falls roughly in the middle of his football peers. He is, as the CPP researchers noted, "confident, assertive ... talented ... [has] high self-esteem ... vocal about dislike for change and innovation," and he "may act without regard for criticism." In other words, the wide receiver is, as one CPP rep told me, "remarkably similar to the average person."

Look closely at their research, particularly the category of "law enforcement orientation." We're clearly asking the wrong question. What we should be asking is, Why are quarterbacks such domineering narcs?

Wide-ranging problems: Recent activity furthers diva stereotype [SI.com]
Why Are Wide Receivers Such Flamboyant Egomaniacs? [Play]

Everyone involved was probably eager to see this case end and whatever deal Stallworth got has to be significantly better than the 15 years he faced in prison if convicted. A spokesperson for the state's attorney says that even the victim's family just wants it to be over with. Stallworth hit a pedestrian—who may or may not have been jaywalking—after leaving a bar on March 14, but did not try avoid responsibility or guilt.

There's no way to know at this point how the jail term will affect his football career, but it's a good bet that he won't be on the field next season. (Or maybe the one after that.) And that's before the league office has its way with him.

Cleveland Browns' Donte' Stallworth to plead guilty, serve time in DUI manslaughter case [ESPN]

UPDATE: Stallworth did appear in court today and has been sentenced to 30 days in jail, which is slightly less than 15 years. He will also serve two years house arrest, 1,000 hours of community service and will be on probation for eight additional years. In addition, he already reached a financial settlement with the family of the victim, Mario Reyes, and will avoid a civil lawsuit. That's some nice lawyering, boys.

So maybe he could play this year? Normally, house arrest means you can go to work, but not necessarily if that work involves flying out of town every other weekend. Plus, once again, who knows how the NFL will react to this. Still, I don't have a lot of experience with DUI manslaughter, but I've got to believe that one month of jail time is a pretty remarkable outcome, even if he did do "everything right" in the aftermath.

Donte' Stallworth gets 1 month in jail, 2 years house arrest in DUI death [Miami Herald]

Plaxico Burress appeared in court today so that a judge could tell him not to come back to court again. His case has been adjourned until September, at which point it will go before a grand jury—where he will almost certainly be indicted—and that means the actual guilty/not guilty trial will probably not take place until next year. It may seem like mindless legal maneuvering, but it actually makes a very big difference to Burress.

Plaxico's lawyers claim that Roger Goodell cannot suspend Plaxico Burress until he has actually been convicted of something. So by moving the trial back to February or later, he could conceivably play the entire 2009 season before any verdict is handed down. The NFL, however, doesn't necessarily agree with that interpretation of the player conduct policy. The league may try to suspend him anyway (followed by a lengthy grievance process with the Player's Association), but (maybe) can't do that until he's actually signed by a team. And no one will sign a guy if they think he's going to be suspended. And round and round we go...

No one can know what lurks in the mind King Goodell, but now every non-baseball sport has called it a season, you will be forced to ponder these questions until late August.

Burress Gun Case Adjourned Until September [NY Times]
Plaxico Burress of New York Giants appears in court, gun case adjourned until September 23 [ESPN]
Jets 'main team' for Plaxico [NY Post]

That was, of course, the year the Rams won the Super Bowl with some other guy, and eventually the Pete Best of football went elsewhere. After a whirlwind of teams and head traumata, Green found himself back in St. Louis, playing just a little quarterback for the Rams in 2008 while Marc Bulger regained his ability to not be frightened at the thought of a defensive blitz. Once someone in the Rams front office noticed he was still on the roster, they released him in February, and he made the announcement last night that he's done. What, no one-year Raiders contract?

That has to be quite a cathartic career. He accomplished quite a lot for a football player, and yet he's always going to be known for that torn ACL in 1999, ensuring Kurt Warner would never have to bag another grocery ever ... unless he shopped at Aldi. Green may have thrown for tons of yards and even made the Pro Bowl, but how many MVPs and Super Bowl starts has he had compared to Kurt Warner? Moreover, how fair is it to weigh Warner's career against Green's? Of course it's unfair, and yet I just made that comparison. Think about that.

Green says he wants to pursue a career in broadcasting, something every concussed quarterback wants to do, because they know nothing else than to be the center of football attention by any means necessary. He'll do a satisfactory job, as he always does, until such a day in which Green contracts bronchitis, can't talk, and needs Kurt Warner to perform emergency football analysis.

Former Chiefs QB Green Retires [Kansas City Star]

Childress finally did pick up the phone today, to talk to "The Power Trip Morning Show" on KFAN 1130 in Minneapolis, but only to be grumpy about all the unfounded rumors that have been written about him and his team, in regards to the Brett Favre "will he/won't they" debacle. The press says crazy things like Childress was in Mississippi when he was really in his office. Or that the Vikings gave Brett Favre a deadline to sign with them or else. Fabrications! Surgery? What surgery? What would Brad Childress know about any of this?

"I don't know how you guys in that industry go about your sourcing. A source said that a source said. I don't know. It's questionable. Very questionable."

It sure is. Yet for some crazy reason, the Vikings allow these rumors to persist. Credit to "The Power Trip" hosts for asking, "If the media is so incorrect, why don't you correct them?" Well, Brad has an answer for that it. It's not his job!

You're right, Brad. It's not your job. That's why the team has a public relations department. It's run by a guy named Bob Hagen. Maybe you should meet him! I bet his office is close enough to yours, that he could have walked over and seen you sitting at your desk when ESPN was reporting that you were on your way to Hattiesburg. I bet Ed Werder even has his phone number.

But you don't really want the actual information to get out, do you? You don't really want the media to know what lengths you're going to pursue Brett Favre. You don't want them to be aware of how many discussions you've had with his agent about the surgery or his arm strength, or how many practices you'll allow him to miss before it's too late for him to help your team. And you know what? That's fine. That stuff is boring anyway. However, all the confusion, rumor, innuendo, and "unnamed sources" that you hate so much are doing your job for you—obfuscating the truth so that if this whole stupid adventure falls apart, you won't be to blame. Stop bitching about those anonymous "incorrect" sources, when you could easily be the accurate, named source and choose not to.

That's why no one believes the new rumor that the Vikings have "suspended" their pursuit of Brett Favre. This isn't over. Everyone knows it's not over and you wouldn't have called into "The Power Trip" if it was. You refuse to talk (Brad Childress can't predict the future!) and now you want to complain when your story isn't told properly. If it's not your job to answer questions and provide information, then it's also not your job to be a media critic. We have enough of those already, thank you.

This whole thing is a mess, but Brad Childress and the Vikings created it. I didn't even mind playing along with it until now. But Brad Childress is not being honest. He's not playing fair. So screw him and his lousy quarterbacks. I won't be writing about any of them again. At least until I see Brett Favre actually holding up a Vikings jersey at that upcoming press conference we all know will take place in August.

Listen To Brad Childress [KFAN]
Sources: Favre a no-show, Vikes temporarily stop pursuit [ESPN]

Here's the screen-grab from one of his most recent updates and his enthusiastic support group (including former Texans defensive end Anthony Weaver) encouraging Daniels to continue his hold out until the Texans' money-holders give him the same respect as Yahoo's! Brandon Funston does on his latest Big Board.

The next logical step for Daniels is to poke the crap out of Texans owner Bob McNair and then threaten him with a public de-friending on his wall. Who needs agents?

Daniels Joins Robinson As Texans Holdout [Houston Chronicle]

First of all, remember all that nonsense about will he/won't he have surgery to repair whatever is wrong with his silky, golden arm? Yeah, he already had the surgery a month ago. (So many lies.) But Minnesota, the team he has been teasing for so long, says they love all the attention he is garnering them, but he really does need to make up his mind this week. You know, because of the whole "practice" thing.

But that's so much pressure! He can't make a decision that big in the normal time frame that the rest of the football world follows. He's not like other people!

By the way, Ed Werder and Chris Mortensen are all over this, so don't even try to play it off like its just another diversion that occupies everyone's time and ends up not amounting to anything. This is it, folks. We have reached End Game. Only three more months of breaking news about what went wrong/right with Brett's latest comeback/retirement. I'm giddy.

In other news, do you remember this quote from when Brett was officially released by the Jets?

"Nothing has changed. At this time, I am retired and have no intention of returning to football."

Adorable.

Sources: Brett Favre given deadline by Minnesota Vikings coach Brad Childress [ESPN]
Sources: Brett Favre has surgery to repair shoulder [ESPN]

Instead of calling about 2,500 honor roll students with invitations to the shindig, Lewis' pre-recorded message went out to about 20,000 elementary school students regardless of their ability to spell, write cursive, do long division and suck up to their impressionable teachers. The "Academic Achievement Party" was completely foiled, because now, Lewis and the four Bengals were going to look down on the goody two-shoes while teaching the finer points of partying to the spitball-blowing class clowns.

So Lewis did the only thing he could do: He recorded another apologetic message and rescinded the invite to the non-honor roll students. Lose-lose situation. Students were, naturally, distraught, learning at a young age what it's like to be a Bengals fan.

The Bengals weren't happy, either. They thought they were in for a good time.

CPS kids get bad call from Bengals coach [Cincy.com]

As you may have learned from the Jim Leyritz story, Florida law allows for drunk driving suspects to avoid harsher sentences if they can prove that the other party was at least partially responsible for any accidents. In other words, if a jury finds that the pedestrian who was killed contributed in some way to the incident—by jaywalking, for example—it won't matter that Stallworth was drunk. So the Cleveland wideout could see his case reduced to a misdemeanor DUI, the manslaughter charge could disappear, and he would not face prison time. His trial begins July 7.

I know Jack McCoy would never stand for that shit, but that's the real world for you.

Stallworth Pleads Not Guilty To DUI Manslaughter [CBS]

The Dallas Morning News has obtained text messages sent between two city officials in Irving the day after the Cowboys practice facility crumbled during a windstorm in May. They begin by speculating that the "building" was actually more of a "tent" that probably should not have built in the first place. But the Cowboys, believe it or not, have some measure of influence in the Irving area and what the Boys wants the Boys gets.

[Irving City Manager Tommy] Gonzalez called the facility "a big ole tent" that "probably never was structurally sound enough" to hold up against straight-line winds.

"But it was for 'the cowboys'... that's just what my gut tells me," Gonzalez wrote to Brenda McDonald, the city's real estate and development director....

In a message to city staffers the morning after the collapse, Gonzalez said the city would probably receive inquiries about the city's permit process and the structure's soundness. McDonald told Gonzalez she would look into whether proper permitting and inspection procedures were followed.

"I am sure it was – and also know how the D org pushes things thru – thx," Gonzalez wrote back.

"We experienced that 'push' this spring on a stairway up to the new temporary observation booth that they constructed in Valley Ranch," McDonald responded. "It is a model of the suites at the new stadium."

When reached for comment, Gonzalez insisted to the paper that the Cowboys receive no special treatment and they don't put pressure on city employees. However, the Cowboys organization is what as known as a "big swinging dick" around Irving. (Would you even know where Irving was if it wasn't for them?) And this wouldn't be the first time that voters suspected the city of cozying up to the football team.

City Council member Beth Van Duyne said there's been a pervasive perception among residents that the Cowboys and Jones get whatever they want. She has for years said the city and team's Texas Stadium exit agreement too strongly favored the Cowboys. Among other things in that document, city officials agreed not to compete against the $1.15 billion replacement stadium set to open in Arlington this weekend.

"The council may have allowed their adoration of the Cowboys franchise to impact their decision," Van Duyne said.

Now that the new stadium is in Arlington they may be less inclined to help Jerry Jones and Sons, but that won't console the 12 people who were injured—one paralyzed—in the building collapse. The News already reported that "the Cowboys made major structural reinforcements to the facility last year using advice from a man who has falsified his educational credentials and served federal prison time for his role in a violent drug trafficking ring" and then didn't even follow up with the city to have those improvements inspected.

Don't feel bad guys. Plenty of towns much bigger than Irving have been pushed around by plenty of companies that were way less powerful than the Cowboys. It's like you're part of the club now.

Irving official's text messages cast doubt on strength of Cowboys practice facility [Dallas Morning News]
Money no longer flowing freely for Dallas Cowboys [Dallas Morning News]

Last Friday, Stroud casually mentioned that the Buccaneers might be"interested" in possibly signing possibly washed up wide receiver Marvin Harrison. Tampa fans were obviously all ... um ... atwitter over this happy information and a few places even re-reported this story as an actual bonafide thing. Big mistake. Blogger Joe Bucs Fan (not to be confused with Joe Buck fans) was a little annoyed that Stroud had to come back on his Twitter to explain the difference between real news and shit that he just makes up on the internet.

"People, if I tweet something bout Marvin Harrison it's agent-driven speculation. If there's news, I'll post it on Tampabay.com. K? Sheesh 5:44 AM May 30th from web

Yeah, come on guys. Can't you tell when a reporter is talking about actual legitimate news and when he's really just helping an agent drum up non-existent buzz about a client? It's not like 85% of all NFL coverage is unfounded speculation about player personnel moves. Next time, just wait until Chris Mortensen writes something on his Facebook wall. That's when you know it's a big scoop.

Rick Stroud Slaps Bucs Fans, Media [Joe Bucs Fan]
Rick Stroud (NFLSTROUD) [Twitter]

Last fall, the Jets announced they were auctioning off 2,000 seat licenses online for the "Coaches Club" section of their new stadium; the team sold only 600 or so. The men accuse CEO Woody Johnson of goosing the price for the licenses by withholding the other 1,400, according to Courthouse News Service.

Plaintiffs claim the manipulation was egregious, in that the Jets advertised the auction by claiming, "rather than set a price, we'll let the marketplace decide."

They claim that "Jets Chairman and CEO Robert W. (Woody) Johnson admitted after the auction that the defendants reduced the number of seats for sale from 2,000 because having too many available had hurt demand."

The plaintiffs also sued StubHub, an online ticket broker.

Plaintiffs William Poisson, John McHale, and Robert J. Walker demand punitive damages for false advertising, deceptive trade, conspiracy, misrepresentation and bad faith.

The auction was supposedly the largest sale ever on Stubhub.com. The Jets brought in $16 million over nine days and afterward pronounced themselves ecstatic with the results, despite the seemingly thin sales. Johnson told Crain's: "We knew this would be a pioneering event right from the start. That's who the Jets are, we take calculated risks, and this one paid off."

With another franchise, maybe, it'd seem a tad suspicious that the owner was turning cartwheels over selling 600 seat licenses out of 2,000. But the Jets? Somehow, it seems perfectly appropriate for the team to be thrilled with going .300.

NY Jets Accused of Manipulating Ticket Prices [Courthouse News Service]

From the Boston Globe:

The New England Patriots are developing the first licensed NFL instant ticket with the Massachusetts State Lottery just days after league owners voted to allow teams to partner with lotteries across the country. "This is going to be a hugely successful collaboration," Robert Kraft, chief executive of Kraft Group, which owns the Patriots, said yesterday. "We are looking forward to helping the lottery generate much needed revenue for the cities and towns of Massachusetts."

Earlier in the week, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell drew a bright line between lotteries and sports gambling, saying:

"This would purely be scratch-off and chance games. They are not in any way connected to the outcome of our games. That is a critical feature for us. We do think it is responsive to the pressures that states are feeling right now to help meet some of those budget shortfalls. It has been effective in other sports, and it is something that is a reasonable policy."

Most offensive of all here is the specious notion, pushed by both the league and Massachusetts state officials, that this is a gold-hearted, civic-minded response to the recession — as if NFL-licensed scratch tickets were anything but a heavily regressive tax that, first and foremost, will help the league make up for lost sponsorships. Of course, the rest of the NFL will surely follow suit now, and everyone will likewise push the idea that taking poor people's money is actually good for the economy, but meanwhile sports gambling is very, very bad. It's the NFL. Take the hypocrisy and lay the points.

ILLUSTRATION: Boston Globe

Pats plan lottery tie-in after NFL eases stance [Boston Globe]