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buzzsaw!
The Buzzsaw That Is The Super Bowl
It seems my beloved teams are making a habit out of this Ridiculous Postseason Run business. In retrospect, it was the only way it could have gone down. More »
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By Will LeitchComment by Doyle McPoyle: There is only one possible response to this well-written piece: Fuck the 2006 Cardinals. 9 Responses | Other threads
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Weekly Buzzsaw Countdown
The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals FAQ
Because I'm the only Arizona fan many people know, I've been asked often to comment on the utter ridiculousness of Glendale hosting the NFC Championship game. For brevity, I've put together a Buzzsaw FAQ. More »
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By Will LeitchComment by Longwood: Favorite obscure Arizona Cardinal.. Stoney Case. Urs?? 22 Responses | Other threads
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Weekly Buzzsaw Countdown
Yes, Virginia, There Are Other Buzzsaw Fans
An hour before the tailgating area in Glendale opened Saturday, I met more Arizona Cardinals fans than I'd met in my life. There were three. We were packing the car. More »
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By Will LeitchComment by Gourmet Spud: My mind keeps floating back to my new obsession: Fat cars! Or: They're not fat. They're just big chassised. 12 Responses | Other threads
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Weekly Buzzsaw Countdown
If You Can, Everyone Please Go See Your Grandmothers, Right Now
I went home for Christmas, and I dropped by and saw my grandmother. She's a very nice lady. More »
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By Will LeitchComment by The Vigilante Face: My grandmother is a narcisstic cunt who still thinks my mother is an Irish son who stole her precious Italian... 5 Responses | Other threads
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Weekly Buzzsaw Countdown
R.I.P. Dock Ellis: The Curveball That Rode The Dragon
It is fitting that the great Dock Ellis died on a Friday, which is the worst day to die. Nobody pays attention to news on Saturdays.
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By Will LeitchComment by Father of 2 Future First Rounders: I've done acid (and talked about Dock's no hitter while on it) and can't even begin to comprehend how the... 4 Responses | Other threads
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Weekly Buzzsaw Countdown
Grierson And Leitch, At The Movies
When I was in high school, I wanted to be Roger Ebert when I grew up. More »
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By Will LeitchComment by Jason Borneman: Hey Leitch, will you PLEASE explain your hatred for the Colts' new stadium? Even people in Indianapolis hate it? ... 21 Responses | Other threads
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NFL Rankings
The PLAYOFF Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals
Of all the pictures taken during The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals' NFC West-clinching "win" over the St. Louis Rams on Sunday, that one there is my favorite. It is somehow perfect that, when the Arizona Cardinals won their first division championship since 1975 (the year I was born!), the most sophisticated signage they'd have ready would be something a player wrote in magic marker on the back of a towel. Yep! More »
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By Will LeitchComment by Saved By Zero: i got the same letter from tivo. i xerox'ed a copy for my records and then i used the original... 5 Responses | Other threads
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NFL Rankings
Newspapers Are Revelant And Helpful, Particularly If You Like Ike
On Thanksgiving morning, I picked up a copy of the Columbus (Ga.) Ledger-Enquirer, the daily paper round those parts. I did it out of habit; I was eating an English muffin and needed something to do with my other hand. Whatever your thoughts about the newspaper industry, I think we can all agree that it's easier to pick up a newspaper with your left hand than type into a computer. If newspaper publishers could genetically fuse English muffins to everyone's right hands, the world of print journalism would look a lot different over the next few decades. Plus, your Kleenex would come lined with butter. More »
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By Will LeitchComment by formerly Chief Wahoo: I'm so looking forward to the Browns-Eagles MNF game. Only because I'm watching it at something called a "viewing party"... 5 Responses | Other threads
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Weekly Buzzsaw Countdown
Have Sex The Fundamentalist Way, Minus The Robes
The most fascinating story I read all week, without question, was this New York Times story about Rev. Ed Young in Grapevine, Tx. encouraging his parishioners to have sex with each other. Life's gotta be pretty dull for a preacher sometimes — "Lord, forgive me, but if I have to give another endless homily about the sacred eucharist, I'm gonna set this church on fire. Hey, cool, arson totally isn't a commandment!" — so this had to have been a fun sermon to give.
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By Will LeitchComment by MarkKelsosMigraine: Will goes to more weddings than anyone I've ever heard of. What the hell is he, a caterer? 6 Responses | Other threads
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Weekly Buzzsaw Countdown
Chinese Democracy, 15 Years Down, Five Days To Go
Of all the Guns 'N Roses stories, the "Rocket Queen" one is my favorite. When "Appetite For Destruction" was recorded, the moaning sounds on the album's closer (which might be my favorite G'N'R song, actually), were captured while Adriana Smith, a 19-year-old stripper who had been dating drummer Steven Adler, was having sex with Axl Rose.
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By Will LeitchComment by Cherokee Parks Was Misunderstood: Most homoerotic GNR line: What you pissed off cuz your dad gets more pussy than you? Fuck you Suck my fuckin'... 7 Responses | Other threads
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Weekly Buzzsaw Countdown
Barack Obama Will Not Take Away Your Ties Or Your Hair
I don't remember where I saw it, but about a year-and-a-half ago, in one of those "Hey, there's a cool black guy running for President!" stories, the writer posited that Barack Obama, if he were to somehow win (crazy!), would have something immediately in common with John F. Kennedy: He could destroy a famed aspect of men's formal sartorial culture. That is to say: They thought he was going to kill the tie.
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By Will LeitchComment by RagingRomones: I was watching "Morning Joe" at the gym on Monday when host Joe Scarborough accidentally unleashed his "Fuck you" on... 3 Responses | Other threads
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Weekly Buzzsaw Countdown
Election Night: An Excuse To Stay Up Past 8:30
Well, it's here. When I was a kid, Election Night was one of the few nights of the year I was allowed to stay up past 8:30. (Seriously, my bedtime was 8:30 until I was a freshman in high school. And you wonder why I still wet the bed.) I never knew who any of the candidates were, or even what the "D" and the "R" next to their names meant — sometimes I'm not sure I know now — but it was like having 100 different sporting events going on at once, with updates coming every 20 minutes. We didn't have cable. This was as close as I had to March Madness. I loved it.
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Weekly Buzzsaw Countdown
The Machines Shall Rise, And All Will Fall
All right, so the world is imploding. You know this. I know this too, though only because the Wassup Guys told me. Surely, these are the last days, before the global apocalypse rids the planet of humans and leaves only some cockroaches, a few stray strands of hair and, of course, Kermit, because Kermit is an indestructible force of shocking malevolence. This is not the way I thought it would go down. I assumed, like the rest of you, it would be the robots.
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By Will LeitchComment by Colonel Dubby: I wear undershirts. /still in the Midwest 4 Responses | Other threads
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Weekly Buzzsaw Countdown
It's Obama And McCain ... AFTER DARK!
So over the weekend, the two candidates for President — Sen. Barack Obama, head of a Muslim sleeper cell, and Sen. John McCain, organizer of the first Hanoi chapter of the Ku Klux Klan — spoke at the Al Smith Dinner, a big Catholic charity event held in Manhattan right before the elections every year. Each of them made a bunch of jokes, and, all told, they were both pretty funny. (Not surprisingly, the best jokes were about the Clintons.) This was covered in the political press as a curiosity, like, "Hey, look, they don't really hate each other! When they think no one is looking, they talk like normal people!" And then everyone went back to talking about William Ayers and being "erratic" and everything that made everyone want to turn off the debates. Like the Al Smith thing never happened.
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By Will LeitchComment by Michael Jeffrey Jones: Obama is left-handed? That seals the deal for my vote. 2 Responses | Other threads
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Weekly Buzzsaw Countdown
You Should Probably Stop Having Birthday Parties When You're 11
I turned 33 over the weekend. There's something inherently sad about a single 33-year-old man hosting his own birthday party. I remember when my father turned 33; I was 11. It was my parents, my sister and myself eating tacos and watching the Cardinals game. That was pretty fun. I've had birthday bashes pretty much every year since high school, and each year brings diminishing returns. At a certain point, you look around and realize, "Man, this is just a bunch of old people drinking because there's nothing else to do." That was probably true before; I guess I just never noticed.
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By Will LeitchComment by Sandburgh: Boats + football players = bad idea (F.Smoot)Boats + basketball players = worse idea (B.Dele) 2 Responses | Other threads
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Weekly Buzzsaw Countdown
Oh, For The Days Of Rape And Murder Questions At Debates
The second Presidential debate is tonight, coinciding, quite helpfully, with the first night off of the baseball postseason. I spend about 45 percent of my workday reading political blogs from all sides of the spectrum, some conservative, some (OK, more) liberal, and absolutely none written by that theoretical and mythical bird of the "impartial." This is warping my worldview; right now, more than the main two candidates, I'm ready to elect Chuck Todd and Nate Silver president. I'll be watching the debate tonight with considerable nostalgia. I long for the days, like in the clip above, when the first question at a presidential debate was some sort of variant of "So, what would you do if your spouse were raped and murdered?" More »
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By Will LeitchComment by shea_guevara: Tina Fey is our generation's Woody Allen Let's not get ahead of ourselves here. I mean, she hasn't boned any of... 5 Responses | Other threads
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Weekly Buzzsaw Countdown
This Column Is Desperate For A Bailout
Before we get started, a few words on America's financial crisis. (Because hey, who knows more about our economy than a sports blogger from Nowhere, Illinois?) I am going to apply my years of insight as reporter for Registered Rep. magazine, as well as my minutes upon minutes of CNBC viewing, to explain to you exactly what it all means. Ready?
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By Will LeitchComment by MitchKayak: The reason the world is ending? The Bills are 4-0. I say this as a Bills fan. Be afraid. 4 Responses | Other threads
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Weekly Buzzsaw Countdown
Wrigley Field Destroys A Man's Soul
I spent last weekend at Wrigley Field, watching the stupid Cubs clinch their stupid division and drink some stupid champagne in front of their stupid fans. It was the first time my father had ever been to Wrigley Field, and I have to think it'll be his last. Poor guy. He makes it nearly 60 years without visiting the place despite living in the same state, and the day he shows up, the Cubs celebrate a division championship by beating his Cardinals in front of him. Baseball sucks sometimes.
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By Will LeitchComment by Pesti-Esti: Do they not have doors in Chicago? Is the building on fire? Why is that man exiting through... 5 Responses | Other threads
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Weekly Buzzsaw Countdown
David Foster Wallace, The St. Louis Rams And You
Before we get started, I'd like to say something about David Foster Wallace. David Foster Wallace, Illinois' own, is the best writer I've ever read who I found completely unreadable. I don't mean his non-fiction stuff that had the benefit of editors who, strangely, had a desire for people who read their magazine to understand what their writers were saying. I mean the fiction. Every word I read of Wallace's fiction was brilliant ... and I have absolutely no idea what was going on. If someone told you in the last few days that they actually read all of Infinite Jest, that person is either lying, or insane. Or both. This is not meant to be an insult to Wallace. The man truly was a genius. Unfortunately, I'm not a genius.
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By Will LeitchComment by TracyHamandEggs: An unopened copy of Infinite Jest on a prominent book shelf is the #2 sign that you are in the... 6 Responses | Other threads
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Weekly Buzzsaw Countdown
Introducing The Weekly Buzzsaw Countdown
OK, so this probably won't go over as well as the SSW, but hey, we might as well have some sort of Tuesday NFL Roundup. I would like to say I've come up with some sort of brilliant conceit, some new way of looking at the NFL that had never occurred to humanity, but I don't. I'm just gonna rank the teams. Deadspin: Perpetually coming at sports from shocking, groundbreaking directions.
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By Will LeitchComment by MeQuickWantSlow: How could Sussman possibly have forgottoen Mike of Mike & Ike" fame? 5 Responses | Other threads
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