For those of you who pay attention to such matters, TNA wrestling is having some sort of pay-per-view event this weekend that will feature "Team Pierzynski" vs. "Team Eckstein." That's A.J. Pierzynski and David Eckstein, two people who have never been in our kitchen. In this "promo" clip, Pierzynski does some Springer trash talk before a "surprise" guest shows up and makes his own team.

Sorry: We don't really understand this wrestling business.

We are not against mass hallucinations as a potential explanation of psychotic phenomena — did you see the No. 1 movie in the country this weekend? — but in this case, worry not, flu buggers of Deadspin Nation: You didn't imagine it in a cold fevered sweat. White Sox catcher A.J. Pierzynski was indeed on the "Jerry Springer Show" on Monday. He was more like a "guest bouncer," which we don't understand and is likely a position invented for Pierzynski because he called and begged to be on, probably to impress his children, because that's the kind of guy A.J. Pierzynski is.

It's funny, because we always thought that, for as unpopular as Pierzynski is among pretty much everyone in baseball, he had a tongue-in-cheek mindset to it, what, with all the wrestling and general assheadedness; like he was in on the joke that he was a dick. Now? Now we are not so sure.

AJ Pierzynski Goes Classy [Sportable]

Since the Home Run Derby on Monday night, we've been trying to track down a photo of Chicago White Sox catcher A.J. Pierzynski and the horror he subjected his daughter to. And now that we've found it ... we can't quite put our finger on why it fills us with such dread.

But it does. It makes us feel like something might be wrong with the planet.

[Pierzynski says] "Your guy Jay Mariotti wrote an article about me the other day saying how it was all my fault. So Jay, here's an open invitation to come to the clubhouse and say 'hello' to me. If you want to write an article about me, then come speak to me face-to-face."

Both Kornheiser and Wilbon immediately burst into laughter, with Tony responding, "He's not my guy!" and Wilbon jibing at his cohort, "Tony will love that!"

Pierzynski added that as far as he knew, Mariotti had never been inside the White Sox' clubhouse. Tony Reali (aka 'Stat Boy') did not deny that fact near the show's finish, but did say that Mariotti was in the interview room when Pierzynski was speaking to the press after the game.

Putting aside, for a moment, that what we've always thought — both Kornheiser and Wilbon know full well Mariotti is a talentless hack — we can understand Pierzynski's (and other Chicago athletes') dilemma. On one hand, it must be frustrating to be constantly attacked by someone who calls himself a journalist but never deigns to ask a question, research a fact or do much of anything but apply pancake makeup. On the other hand ... jeezus, who wants to talk to Jay Mariotti?

AJ Pierzynski vs. Jay Mariotti: Evil Versus Pure Evil [Bleed Cubbie Blue]