But she's okay —repeat: SHE'S OKAY — just a chin bruise, according to TMZ. I do not know if there is significant swelling, or the shade of the bruise, or ice packs involved, but the most important thing is that she's OKAY. Repeat: SHE'S OKAY. I am waiting for official comment from ESPN spokespeople to fill us in on the details.

Stay tuned for updates on this breaking, terrible news that will completely alter the axis of the sports blogging universe, causing it to burst into flames, crap pants, rain frogs, turn rivers red. But again: SHE'S OKAY.

Also: From emailer:

Deadspin guys-

Erin Andrews went live on Sportscenter Tuesday night from CitiField (I think). The video feed went live before Erin was "ready". Someone was pulling Erin's mic cords or something and she turned to whoever it was off-camera and said, I think, "Mother…" like she was about to say MF'er....I texted a buddy of mine right away because Erin's stock went up with such a dirty mouth. Maybe worth checking out.

Christ.

UPDATE FROM ESPN:

"She's totally fine. The producers on site suggested she go to the hospital as a precaution. Doctors released her soon thereafter. She flew home as scheduled and is looking forward to working MLB All-Star events and the ESPYs in the coming week."

Ohlmeyer's resume is a dramatic shift from prior ombudspeople (both Schreiber and George Solomon were newspaper disciples) but it could possibly be a better fit for the position if ESPN covets criticism for all of its media platforms, especially its television programming. This move also further solidifies ESPN's takeover of the sports media universe, as they'll have one of the industry's more lionized visionaries on staff to publicly consult criticize them into becoming even more World Wide Leadery.

ESPN's comment about Ohlmeyer: "We will announce our new ombudsman when the process is finalized."

Pshaw. The potential downside of this is that it will probably abandon all hopes of Norm Macdonald ever hosting the ESPYs again: Upside? I can't wait to see Ohlmeyer's take on Blog Buzz.

The suspension will cost Ramirez $7.7 million, or roughly 31% of his $25-million salary. Players in violation of baseball's drug policy are not paid during suspensions.

Ramirez is expected to attribute the test results to medication received from a doctor for a personal medical issue, according to a source familiar with matter but not authorized to speak publicly.

[LA Times]

According to one source, Millen will take the spot once occupied by the comically incompetent Smith, adding color and pregame/halftime/post-game analysis with Stu Scott and plastic cup assault victim Steve Young.
Remember that regardless of Millen's disastrous overseeing of the Lions, many in the broadcasting industry think he's one of the best in the business at x-ing/o-ing/colorizing. NBC brought on Millen last year as a special correspondent for their Super Bowl coverage and it seemed imminent that he would join them full-time this season. But Norby (!) swooped in with the big dollars and now Millen's in Bristol.

Thankfully there is no Monday night game in Detroit this year, or else Millen would probably get hit in the face with an object that would most likely cause more disfigurement than a souvenir cup.

Other shake-ups that will happen: Yes, Adam Schefter from NFL Network is in, longtime football reporter Len Pasquarelli is out. ESPN says Len is staying put.

ESPN is putting together some sort of comment for me, but I have to go meet some people so I don't feel like waiting around all day. If/when they do, I'll fix anything wrong with this report via one of those cute little "UPDATE" things.

As you were. Oh, and hi guys. Happy Saturday.

UPDATE: Espn "Respectfully declines comment." Later!

TMZ has learned Los Angeles Angels starting pitcher Nick Adenhart was killed in a felony hit-and-run car accident in Fullerton, California early this morning — hours after he pitched in a game last night.

Cops say someone driving a minivan blew through a red light, causing a 2 car crash which killed 3 people, including Nick.

Cops say the person driving the van fled the scene — but was later caught and charged with felony hit-and-run.

We're told one of the other men killed in the crash was also affiliated with Angels organization.

Nick was 22 years old.

More to come, as story develops.

Angels starting pitcher killed in auto accident [TMZ]

According to the Sun-Times:

The Bears acquired quarterback Jay Cutler today for No. 1 draft picks in 2009 and 2010, a No. 3 pick this year and Kyle Orton, the Sun-Times has learned.

The Bears receive the Broncos' fifth-round draft pick this year.

Wow. Anyway, obviously, this also marks the end of the brilliant (for us) Kyle Orton era in Chicago. But lucky for him the winters are quite nasty in Denver as well, so the Neckbeard could possibly return.

Bears get their quarterback in trade with Denver [Chicago Sun-Times]

The thing is, you, I and everyone else on earth thought this game was over midway through the third quarter, and, all told, probably at halftime. That would have been much worse than this, I think. If the Buzzsaw's one Super Bowl appearance had ended in irrelevance, and pointlessness, and obvious inferiority, it would have justified what everyone else had said. The Charles Pierces of the world would have been right. We shouldn't have been here in the first place. We were just some dumb fluke that everyone could forget about. We were not like you, like your pain. Like everybody's pain.

See, in a way, losing this way — in the most soul-crushing, sweet-God-what-a-game-holy-frack-where's-something-tall-to-jump-off? fashion possible — justifies it all. The Buzzsaw were not going to lose a Super Bowl the way the Falcons did, or the Chargers. That would be pedestrian. That would be dumb. That would make the whole thing seem silly.

No, losing like this makes it all worthwhile. This was not a 27-7 shellacking, the Steelers simply piddling out the clock as everyone prepares for work tomorrow. Losing like this, after a shocking comeback, after a Yes This Team Is What We Had Hoped For And Dreamed About After All fourth quarter, lends gravitas to it. Now, the Buzzsaw is not the obvious doormat of the professional sports industrial complex. We now have some tragedy. We now have some pain. Real pain.

It feels all right. It feels raw, and throbbing, and palpable. It feels what it feels like to be a sports fan. It feels like I cheer for a team that matters. It feels like we've got some hair on our chest now. We couldn't really compare ourselves to the Bills before, or the Browns, those franchises who have come close enough to taste the nectar. Now we can. Now we've had some actual suffering. It's not just a dull slow ache. We've actually bled.

And you know what? I'm grateful. I'm grateful for Kurt Warner, and Ken Whisenhunt, and Anquan Boldin, and Larry Fitzgerald. I'm grateful for Aeneas Williams, and Jake Plummer, and Adrian Wilson. I'm grateful that, tonight, being a fan of the Arizona Cardinals actually meant something. I'm grateful that we did not fade. I'm grateful that it didn't just fizzle out. I'm grateful that it really hurt.

Anyway, this is my conciliatory post and I congratulate Will and the rest of the 14 people that have followed this team before they were the Buzzsaw. Especially that guy in the blue shirt.

I will follow through on my end of our Mayor's bet. If anyone knows any tattoo artists who are willing to put a buzzsaw on me, well, let me know. This fucking sucks.

I'm off tomorrow. Have a good night.

I consulted with my Anonymous Lifelong Buzzsaw Season Ticket Holder Friend for this, to make sure I was getting the little details right. (He does live there, after all.) So let's get right into it. And sorry, Steelers and Ravens fans: This is replacing the Countdown column this week. We've got a lot to get to.

Did Arizona fans see this coming?

Well, no, obviously, but that doesn't mean we're totally shocked. Contrary to popular opinion, this was not the worst playoff team in NFL history. They breezed through the NFC West — something Dallas, Washington, and the Jets can't say, three teams that definitely wouldn't have been called The Worst Playoff Team in NFL history had they sneaked in — and hammered both the Bills and the eventual AFC East champion Dolphins. Now, to be sure, this is not the most sterling regular season resume you'll ever see, and skepticism was deserved, and shared by Buzzsaw fans. But this team was capable of doing something like this. It's just that no one thought they would.

Why does every person I see on television have a smirk on their face anytime they discuss the Buzzsaw?

Two reasons.

1. The Arizona Cardinals have been so horrible for so long that no media members have even the slightest inkling of respect for them. The majority haven't paid attention to them in two decades and have been waiting for the Cardinals to lose so they don't have to do any more research. The best example of this was Cris Carter, who, on Sunday night, called Cardinals linebacker Karlos Dansby, alternately, "Dansmon," "Dockett" and "Darnell Dansby." (Amusingly, Carter tried to cover his tracks by pointing out that Dansby was "great at Florida State." Dansby went to Auburn; defensive tackle Darnell Dockett went to Florida State.) It's difficult to blame anyone for this. There are 32 teams in the NFL, and each team has 53 roster spots. That's 1,696 players to keep track of. You have to end up ignoring somebody, and for the last 30-some-odd years, the most efficient team to ignore has been the Arizona Cardinals.

2. The Cardinals struggled down the stretch, but, most important, they struggled against East Coast teams down the stretch. The losses to Philadelphia and New England were probably the two most-watched Buzzsaw games of the season — with the possible exception of the "Monday Night Football" win over a pantsless Mike Singletary and the 49ers — and they were the two games in which the team played the worst. Fortunately, the Cardinals won't be playing any more games in the snow or with only three days rest. But after the Patriots' loss, NFL Planet decided that the Cardinals weren't worth paying attention to anymore. So they didn't.

Did Cardinals fans exist prior to this month?

Surprisingly, yes. When they moved to Arizona in 1988, blind excitement led the locals to sell out Sun Devil Stadium. Then they began to play, which did nothing to help ticket sales. For almost two decades the Cardinals consistently sold only 20-25,000 season tickets in a stadium that held 72,000.

That all changed in 2006. Even though the team went 5-11 in 2005, the new stadium brought 63,000 newly minted Cardinals fans. There have been 30 consecutive sellouts since the new stadium opened. So yes, there were fans before this month, before the team started winning playoff games. How many of them are "longtime" Cardinals fans? Probably only a third. Tops.

The bandwagon's definitely grown this month. But it's not like the Tampa Bay Rays having 13,000 fans at games in May and a packed, mohawked house for the World Series. The Cardinals have been selling out games for several years now.

How does the Pink Taco differ from Sun Devil Stadium?
(Note: This question's obviously being answered by the Anonymous Lifelong Buzzsaw Season Ticket Holder Friend)

It was like moving from H.I. McDunnough's trailer to Nathan Arizona's hacienda. Sun Devil Stadium is a concrete kiln with aluminum benches, trough urinals and ancient concession stands. Between the 108 degree heat, the alcohol, and the play on the field, watching fights was the more entertaining second half activity. The Pink Taco is an air conditioned oasis, with high backed chairs, jumbo video screens and ice cold beer from the "Chill Chamber." The only downside: Sun Devil is located just off Mill Avenue in Tempe next to ASU's mix of coeds and college bars, while the Pink Taco is in far west Glendale, next to big box stores and a Jimmy Buffett's "Margaritaville." (Emeritus Note: I was almost kicked out of one of these Glendale bars after the Falcons game for smoking a cigarette and "looking drunk." Worth it!)

Do you guys have any history? The Eagles have never won the Super Bowl. What's on the line historically here? Who is considered the greatest (post-Chicago) Cardinal of all time? Is there anyone particularly beloved who might do the coin flip to a raucous crowd?

As mentioned before, the Cardinals' history is a endless succession of dreadful, irrelevant seasons, both in Arizona and in St. Louis. But, for the sake of discussion, considering everyone else other than me who grew up or lives near St. Louis moved on from the Buzzsaw years ago, let's stick with the last two decades in Arizona.

The most popular player is, without question, Pat Tillman, but he's sadly not making any guest appearances. (There's a statue of him outside the stadium.) The only other post-St. Louis Cardinal to make the Pink Taco's Ring of Fame is Aeneas Williams; it wouldn't surprise me to see him make an appearance Sunday. As you might suspect, he had only one winning season in a decade at Sun Devil Stadium.

But history, as a team? Losing, losing, losing, with few fans around to witness it. With the Buzzsaw's win over Carolina, there is now only one team in the NFL that has never reached its conference's championship game in the Super Bowl era: The Houston Texans. (Even the Lions have made one, back in the 1991-92 season.)

Why did they change their name from the "Phoenix" Cardinals to the "Arizona" Cardinals?

The Cardinals changed their geographical affiliation to "Arizona" in 1994 in an effort to win fans statewide. They even put the state flag on the jersey sleeve. Without polling fans in Kingman, Eagar and Ajo to see if that worked, I'm pretty sure it didn't.

Are there any famous Cardinals fans?

Yes. Our famous fan base includes Rays manager Joe Maddon, failed presidential candidate John McCain and Panthers quarterback Jake Delhomme.

Why are they called the Buzzsaw again?

I just made it up. To quote WikiAnswers: "The Buzzsaw is an affectionate name given by Deadspin editor Will Leitch, an unabashed Cardinals fan. They are called the Buzzsaw pejoratively, because the Cardinals have won exactly one playoff game in the last 60 years. In short, they are the anti-buzzsaw." I decided to call them the Buzzsaw in a weekly fantasy football newsletter sent out to 10 friends more than a decade ago, and I stuck with it, with the idea that if there were any team in any sport that I could just arbitrarily give a nickname to, and have a possibility of it sticking, it would be the identity-less Arizona Cardinals. I'd say we're 30 percent of the way there.

Do Cardinals fans wish they still had the "happy — perhaps neutral" Cardinal helmet logo, rather than the current "angry" version?

I'm fairly certain you and I are the only people who noticed.

Who are the names most associated with the franchise's futility?

Deep breath:

Bill Bidwill, Andre Wadsworth, Stan Gelbaugh, Bill Bidwill, Randall Hill, Buddy Ryan, Tom Tupa, Kevin Kasper, Stoney Case, Milford Brown, Buddy Ryan, Bill Bidwill, Thomas Jones, Wendell Bryant, Timm Rosenbach, Leonard Davis, Bill Gramatica, Buddy Ryan, Bill Bidwill.

Oh, and Kelly Stouffer, who earns special commendation for being the Cardinals' first-round pick in 1987, only to sit out a year because he refused to play for the Cardinals, eventually signing with the Seahawks. Kelly f-ing Stouffer pulled an Eli/Elway on us.

Of all of your many humiliations as a franchise, which is the greatest?

So many to choose from, but here are the worst three, in no order. Perhaps not coincidentally, they all involve "Monday Night Football."

1. The Monday Night loss to the Bears, the "They Are Who They Thought They Were" game.
2. The Monday Night loss to the 49ers back in 1999. This is noteworthy because it was the year after the playoff appearance and their first MNF game in many years. They not only lost, but ended Steve Young's career.
3. In 2003, fires in California forced a Chargers-Dolphins game to be moved to Sun Devil Stadium. This lead to a succession of local fans with ABC signs that all had some variation of "Anything Beats the Cardinals."

Are there going to be more Eagles fans than Cardinals fans on Sunday?

No. The guess here is around 90 percent Cardinals fans, 10 percent Eagles fans. (As opposed to the 99-1 ratio of the Falcons game.) Not quite a regular season Cowboys game, but with their somewhat well-documented obnoxiousness, Eagles fans could be pretty visible. There's a lot of frontrunning excitement surrounding the Cardinals that inspires hope that locals will go themselves rather than sell their seats. (The papers are worried about this too.) You also have to remember that just about everyone from Arizona is from somewhere else, so there are plenty of locals who will be out in force for Philly, regardless. And yes: I will be one of those Buzzsaw fans in attendance. I can't fathom missing it.

What would a trip to the Super Bowl mean for this fanbase?

Considering the notion of even making it this far — even making the playoffs at all — is beyond my ability to comprehend, it's difficult to pretend any Cardinals fans would be angry if they lost Sunday. (One suspects Eagles fans would have a different reaction, were they to lose.) No matter what happens Sunday, this is the best Cardinals season in the Super Bowl era, by a factor of about 40. No one will ever look back at this year with disappointment.

But to get to this point, hosting an NFC Championship Game against a No. 6 seed, and then to fall short would be tough to stomach in the short term. These opportunities don't come along often. (Say, once every 61 years.) Earlier this year, I said that if the Arizona Cardinals didn't win the NFC West this year, they're never winning the NFC West. Circumstances as they are, I could make the same statement now: If they don't make the Super Bowl under these conditions, they're never making the Super Bowl.

But yes: A Super Bowl berth would be redemption for the thousands of dollars and hours spent by fans following this team for 20 years, through all the infuriating front office moves and on-field collapses. Every year, a brave NFL prognosticator will pick the Cardinals as their surprise team, only to have them finish 4-12. The Cardinals have been their hardcore fans' surprise team for 20 years. And they'd still be surprised.

Compared to Eagles' fans, though? Well, Eagles fans actually have expectations for their team on a yearly basis. We don't. It's much sadder to have expectations unfulfilled than expectations far exceeded. That's what Cardinals fans are telling themselves, anyway.

I hope this serves as a helpful guide to all media members who have wisely ignored the Arizona Cardinals for the last 30 years. This should sum up just about everything you missed. Which is to say: Not much.

Now, let's preface by saying this: Kuchinsky is a convicted felon who has supposedly been wrangling with the Knicks center over some unpaid wages when he was working as a full-time chauffeur from 2005-2008. Curry had no comment on the suit (really!), but his attorney hints that this could be a shakedown tactic by a desperate man. So here's a summary of Kuchinsky's allegations:

• Curry repeatedly approached him in the nude allegedly telling him, "Look at me, Dave, look" and "Come and touch it, Dave."

• Kuchinsky claims Curry made him perform "humiliating tasks outside the scope of his employment" such as cleaning up and removing ejaculate-filled towels so that Curry's wife would not see them.

• When Kuchinsky balked at some of these tasks, he claims he was verbally assaulted by Curry, including being called, "fucking Jew," "cracker," "white slave," "white devil" and "grandmaster of the KKK."

• Curry also pointed a "fully loaded" gun at the chauffeur on two separate occasions to stop him from whining about his treatment, allegedly telling Kuchisnky, "Look, I have one in the chamber."

I have a hunch that Kuchisnky will get some of his bills paid after this. Also? This has to be Isiah's fault.

Update: Curry tells the NY Times the allegations were "absolutely false; just incredible" and “I guess it’s just a prime example of you just got to watch who you have around you,” Curry said, “because this is a guy who I really thought he was my friend.”

Knick Slapped With Sex-Harass Suit [NY Post]
Knick Eddy Curry Named In Lawsuit [Newsday]
Eddy Curry slapped with bizarre sex-harassment suit [SKEETS]

Like many of you, I was a bit concerned about Baby Mangino's initial dominance in the bracket. Was this a rash, spur-of-the-moment choice that we'd all regret down the line, like Driving Miss Daisy winning Best Picture or the Buccaneers winning the Super Bowl? But, like some of you, I eventually came around, and the reason was the last week of voting.

I found myself charmed by, of all things, the local news report about the Lubbers family's obvious pride in young Bode's accomplishments. I've always considered Deadspin, more than anything else, a site about fun, about how so much of sports has lost it, how we can all regain it again. It's about how sports is silly, how it's a diversion, how it's a way to step away from the world for a few hours and enter a place of simplicity, purity and goofiness. (Even if sports is often the furthest thing from simple, pure or goofy.)

I've come to appreciate Baby Mangino, and the fact that some caustic but ultimately good-hearted commenters took a funny baby picture and turned it into something larger, something that inspires piffly local news broadcasts with "human interest" stories, and inspires Buzz Bissinger to joke about the baby being "full of shit." I like that it's a sports story that's as harmless as it is to continuously laugh at. And yeah: I like that Baby Mangino is so cute. That's OK. This is not meant to be a site that makes you feel like you need to take a shower after reading it. There are nastier sites out there, worthy, commendable sites, but nastier nevertheless. I think Baby Mangino is a vote for the silliness of it all. I like that.

And, if your candidate didn't win, you can always watch the above video again. The ball is tipped ...

VIDEO: The brilliant Mike Byhoff

This isn't a popular Eagles team. There weren't incredibly high expectations in the beginning of November. Andy was all but gone. Donovan was benched. It was tear down, rebuild, and scatter the ashes from the Era of Almost in the wind. Yet, remarkably, it's back to the NFC Championship game for the 5th time.

Obviously this game takes on an odd personal and metaphorical significance this time around given the opponent. In some way, this is Baby Mangino versus Buzz Bissinger all over again. Thankfully, no votes will decide this outcome.

Congratulations to the Buzzsaw. This should be interesting.

There was no potential for embarrassment, no striking out with the bases loaded, no missing the game-winning jump shot. Parents don't need to worry about their children being humiliated in front of everyone.

That's how I felt going into tonight's Buzzsaw matchup in Carolina. I wanted them to win, but, mostly, I didn't want to see my beloved team smeared across the field for all to see. I've been watching them too long, through all the devastation, the endless succession of seasons that meant nothing by the middle of October. I didn't want to watch them abased on national television. I just wanted them to come out alive, not in the corner of the field, crying, blubbering, wetting themselves.

Well, turns out, watching tonight's game was like seeing your kid suddenly grow wings and shoot fireballs out of his nose. I, like everybody else (including, it seems, the Buzzsaw players themselves), am utterly flabbergasted by what just happened. I can't explain it either. But I am not going to question it. I am just going to glide along, still a little worried about them, but more confident than ever that, you know, what, this kid might turn out all right after all.

The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals are playing in the NFC Championship Game. Read that sentence again. Heavens to Murgatroyd. They should have sent a poet.

And if Philadelphia wins tomorrow ... this site should be rather interesting over the next week.

After that local news hit yesterday and Bissinger's legitimately hilarious response — I, too, think that baby is likely full of shit — I suspect many of you are torn about whom to vote for. I feel your pain. Think it over. Big decision. Could change the molecular structure of the universe. So take your time.

Voting will be closed directly after the Steelers-Chargers game Sunday afternoon, so you have until then. You can also vote in this post. But it's a doozy: This is clearly the most fun SHOTY Final we've ever had.

It has been a winding road, but it's down to two: No. 1 seed Buzz Bissinger vs. No. 11 seed Baby Mangino. Voting will be open until next Sunday evening. Let's take a look at the competitors, one last time. We'll also check in on the voting as the week goes along as well.

No. 1 Buzz Bissinger
Opined.
Loudly.
Discussed.
Made up.
Entered the Hall of Fame.

No. 11 Baby Mangino

Existed.

So, make your voice heard. Who will join 2006 SHOTY Barbaro and 2007 SHOTY Isiah Thomas? It's on.

We have entered the final weekend of SHOTY voting, so we all thought we'd take a moment to remind you to vote, if you haven't, and update you on how voting is going. Polls will close at 12:01 ET Monday morning. Here's where the count stands:

Baby Mangino 75 percent, Isiah Thomas 25 percent.

And: Erin Andrews 55 percent, Buzz Bissinger 45 percent.

It's worth noting that at 5 p.m. Wednesday, Bissinger was up on Andrews by a Franken-esque two votes. At 7 p.m.? Andrews was up by 1,300 votes. Take from that what you will. But there is still time.

So vote. That's how we're all spending our weekend.