Safin told L'Equipe that if Agassi is trying to clear his conscience because he lied to the ATP to get out of a failed drug test, then wouldn't it make more sense to give back the money that the ATP allowed him to win by not banning him from the sport? And maybe all of his Grand Slam titles? Or, alternatively, he could just go on selling his books.

"I won't write my biography. I do not need any money. The question is: why did he do it?" Safin said. "What's done is done. He hopes to sell more books. But he is completely stupid!"

"I do not defend the ATP (Association of Tennis Professionals) but what he said put them in a bad position. ATP allowed him to win a lot of tournaments, to make a lot of money. They kept his secret so why be so cruel with them? There are times you need to be able to shut up."

Give Safin credit for not pretending that crystal meth helped Agassi win anything and for correctly pointing out that this "confession" does come a little too late to serve anyone accept Agassi's publisher. On the other hand, it's not his fault that the ATP bought the lamest excuse in the history of drug testing. Forget Grand Slams. Agassi deserves an Oscar for pulling that one off.

Safin latest to criticize Agassi [CBC]
Feeling guilty? Give the money back, Safin tells Agassi [Reuters]

The Andre Agassi College Preparatory Academy is for "at-risk" students, but apparently they have a similar policy for its staff. So far, there has been no word that kids were roped into the cheer coach's alleged schemes. However there IS a full-time job opening for "Physical Education Instructor, Female." (The cheer coach, Esperanza Brooks, was not a faculty member.)

Oh, and the cops found out that the cheerleading coach was also a madam from a tip. And so I say to you, Deadspin tipsters: Raise. Your. Game.
- D.S.

Coach at Agassi's prep school was madam [AP via Yahoo]
Andre Agassi College Preparatory Academy

How it did end, though—on a Sunday afternoon, in front of a crowd that wasn't quite the same as the one that willed him to victory in the Baghdatis match—was also fitting. There was nothing contrived, nothing pre-planned, nothing less than a pure outpouring of emotion that moved a man to tears. The ending, in a way, reflects where Andre's career path has taken him. It didn't end with any flash or with any braggadocio; just a plain honesty that you couldn't help but be drawn to. He hid nothing from the crowd, and they held back nothing from him.

And if it hadn't ended today, it almost certainly would've ended tomorrow. He'd have been playing a better opponent, with less rest, when his body didn't look like it was even able to handle the match today. Becker, while young and powerful, was also at time an unforced-error machine; the kind of guy that Agassi should be able to handle.

But he couldn't, which means it's probably a pretty good time to get out.

UPDATE: The Fynal Cut has the text of the little speech Andre gave the crowd on his way out of the stadium.

Day 7: Sunday, 3 September [USOpen.org]

Anyway, James Blake came up with this homage to Agassi last night, and I couldn't think of a finer tribute. James Blake might have just become my new favorite tennis player, and if he manages to come up with a dirty blonde mullet at some point, he might just become my favorite athlete of all-time.

U.S. OPEN: Blake's Agassi tribute is a hit [Detroit Free Press]

The 2005 Agassi-Blake. 2001's Sampras-Agassi. 1991 Connors-Krickstein, and Connors-P.Mac. 1980 McEnroe-Connors.

OK, the last one's pushing it — we were toddlers then. But the2006 Agassi-Baghdatis five-set match that unfolded on Arthur Ashe Stadium Court will be among the greatest epics in the history of the tournament. Here's why:

• Retirement: As you know, Andre Agassi is done after the Open. And while previous classic matches have had as many plot twists, they haven't had a career riding on them.
• 36: The age of Andre Agassi. In other sports, you're in your prime. In tennis, you're a couple of ankle sprains away from the senior tour.
• 21: The age of Marcos Baghdatis. For the better part of three sets, he looked 36.
• Baghdatis: He was the perfect villain for Agassi's hero: colorful, loud, tough, and more than a little crazy. If it wasn't Agassi, the crowd of 23,000 would've been rooting for Baghdatis. Still, he wasn't the recipient of the loudest boos — those were reserved for Bill O'Reilly when The Factor host was shown on the jumbotron.
• 23,000: It was certainly the loudest, most raucous Arthur Ashe Stadium has ever been, and nearly everyone stayed for the entire match. It was sort of like being at the Garden. Err, not this year's Garden. More like the '94 Garden.
• Martina Hingis: The former beauty-turned-merely-tennis-hot had the courtesy of losing in straight sets, allowing Agassi-Baghdatis to start more or less on time.
• Cramping: Up 1-0 and a break to start the fifth set, the 21-year-old called the trainer over to work on his leg. At 4-4, Baghdatis cramping became so severe he fell to the court and proceeded to hobble around the court for the most of the rest of the set.
• Cortisone: The morning after Agassi's four-set first round thriller, he woke up in so much back pain, his manager and business partner Perry Rogers says a cortisone shot was administered with a seven-inch needle over a 30-minute period. This is tennis' answer to Curt Schilling's Bloody Sock.
• Nationalism: While there were roughly seven Greek nationals in attendance, they made their presence felt during Baghdatis' comeback, waving flags and providing an opportunity for brief but welcome periods of New York tennis fan ugliness.
• Rodapova: Weren't involved.
• McEnroe. While we weren't lucky enough to get one of the in-stadium ear-pieces that carried the USA audio feed with Johnny Mac's commentary, McEnroe was clearly moved, choked-up even, during his on-court interviews with both players after the match, having witnessed what he called "one of the best matches I've ever seen." Then he hugged Agassi. Then everybody went home.

Next up for Agassi: Becker. As in 25-year-old Benjamin Becker — no relation to Boris — a qualifier from Germany who's ranked 112th. Then maybe, just maybe, Agassi will get a quarterfinal date with one-half of Rodapova, Andy Roddick, whose only Mojo this year is in his coach, Jimmy Connors.

So, you really do wanna play rock-n-roll tennis? Of all the storylines materializing for the 2006 U.S. Open — Will Roger Federer repeat? Will James Blake rebound from his starry-eyed choke in last year's semifinal? Will we ever care about the Williams sisters? Will the debut of instant replay ruin our chances for a John McEnroe-sized tantrum? Is Andy Roddick schtooping Maria Sharapova? — make no mistake: the 2006 U.S. Open IS Andre Agassi's tournament. The crazy fashion montages cued, the Barbara Streisand "Zen master" anecdotes prepared, Agassi took stadium court last night in his 21st and final U.S. Open. And, thanks to the masterminds responsible for seeding,
Agassi came in unseeded, drawing 75th-ranked Andrei Pavel, a 32-year-old Romanian with a killer backhand, red shirt and just enough attitude to make an entire stadium court silently hate his guts.

Pavel took the first set in a tiebreak (7-4) and pushed the second set to on, too, and had a set point in the break before Agassi escaped 10-8, allowing the Agassi Entourage — one that includes his wife, Steffi Graf, two kids, a couple nannies, coach Darren Cahill, manager, trainer Gil Reyes (who could play Carlos Santana: The Steroid Years) and a bald dude who appears to really want to be in Agassi's entourage — to breathe a sigh of humid relief.

Agassi fell behind two breaks in the third and — as we've seen him do many times - appeared almost resigned to conceding the set to conserve energy. But, instead, Agassi summoned Cahill to bring him new rackets — which were apparently strung to "dramatic sports story arch" tension — and battled back to yet another tiebreak, which he won (8-6) on an inside out forehand service return. Agassi dominated the fourth and final set, 6-2, serving out the final point on the verge on tears. But not the Adam Morrison kind; these were respectable.

McEnroe called it the "best first round match I've ever seen." Can't argue with Mac.

Tonight: Blake — the top seeded American — opens his Open run, as does Sharapova, who faces unseeded Michaela Krajicek. If we're lucky, both matches will be as thrilling as Agassi's. That, or Sharapova will scream, then make out with someone.

This Could Be The End For Agassi [Deadspin]

We're not sure why, exactly: When we (and he) were younger, he struck us as everything that was wrong with sports, a longhaired pretty boy asshead who kept telling us how badass he was in a fashion that was about as threatening as Richard Simmons. (We spent the last hour looking for a YouTube of "The Ben Stiller Show"'s famous riff on Agassi, a Die Hard-like action film called Advantage: Agassi. We had no luck.) Do you realize this guy once dated Barbra Streisand? Jesus. He looked like one of the Nelson brothers, if he had gotten slapped a few times by the other one.

But then he got all Transformers on us, shaved his head, married Steffi Graf and became a normal person ... and a damned good tennis player too. We can't look at the Agassi now and the Agassi then and even consider that they resemble the same person. Anyway, the U.S. Open began in Queens today, and Agassi plays what could be his final match tonight. We're rooting for him to make a run, but the guy is 36 years old, which, in tennis, makes him the equivalent of Julio Franco's father. We wish him good luck, sincerely. Kind of sincerely.

U.S. Open [Official Site]

(UPDATE: Oh, and here's the "Advantage Agassi" video.)

Piers Newbery, one of the few people in England who noticed that something other than soccer happened today, pens a nice little tribute to Agassi's Wimbledon career. On Wimbledon, Agassi says, "This is the place that first taught me to respect the sport." And if that hadn't happened, who knows... Agassi might still be rocking the pink spandex shorts to this day. So thank you, Wimbledon.

But today, Agassi was no match for the younger, stronger, Nadal. Nadal didn't think he'd have it so easy, though.

"On the warm up, the five minutes, I was thinking I'm going [to] lose easy. Agassi was touching the ball unbelievable, very low, very tough. I can't return the ball. But in the match, always is different, no? Maybe I serve my best day in my career, sure."

Yeah, sure.

Agassi Loses in Straight Sets to Nadal at Final Wimbledon Visit [Bloomberg]
Agassi says farewell to SW19 [BBC Sport]

Agassi might be the best of example of an athlete's career coming completely full circle. In his younger days, he was considered brash, cocky, and kind of a punk. He once boycotted Wimbledon's All-England Club because they insisted he wear traditional white clothes, and at the time, he was very much a fan of neon bicycle shorts, earrings, printed shirts, and Whitesnake hair. The 80s were an unusual time.

And now, a decade and a half later, he's holding his retirement press conference there. You can't find anyone who's more reverential towards the game, or as universally respected and admired. Not a lot of people saw that one coming when Andre looked as he did as pictured on the right.

So he'll (probably) finish his career with eight grand slam titles (including 7 runner-ups), and an Olympic gold medal. The only other tennis player to have a career slam and an Olympic gold is Steffi Graf, who also happens to be Agassi's wife. And if he gets through his first two matches at Wimbledon, and Rafael Nadal is able to do the same thing, 2nd-seeded Nadal would then a have a third-round matchup against Agassi.

Two More Chances to Root for Andre Agassi [The Sports Frog]
Agassi to retire after Flushing [ontennis]