Honestly? For most of the way, Pettitte had the exact same facial expression he would have if he'd just been shelled for six runs in the first inning. (He teared up a little in the middle, but not because he seemed full of remorse; it was because he was the center of attention, and he hates that.) This is progress, we think. None of the Roger Clemens puffed-face anger and subsequent befuddlement. None of the MY REPUTATION IS ON THE LINE indignation. Just answering a bunch of questions, then heading out to play baseball. Don't look behind the curtain. Just move on.

He's completely full of bullshit. But we nevertheless agree with him, across the board.

Roger was the older girl who taught Andy how to be popular, and they were totally BFF. Then they both got in trouble for drinking on campus with alcohol that Roger had bought — he always wants to drink more than Andy; Andy is worried about upsetting her parents — and when faced with punishment by her strict, Fundamentalist parents, Andy sells out Roger, who was behind the whole thing in the first place.

The analogy holds even during the "What's Happening To My Body" phrase.

Ward and Emery said they believed that Pettitte, who has acknowledged receiving H.G.H. from McNamee in 2002, will provide the first account of contemporaneous conversations with McNamee about Clemens's use of performance-enhancing drugs in earlier years.

You SLUT! That was our secret!

The Honeymoon Is Over [Metroville]
Discussing Clemens [Baseball Musings]

But whatever, this Mitchell Report video from the brilliant minds at Black20 is much more fun. If 'Nightmare Ant' had made an appearance I think I would have lost it.

Anyway, a judge in Phoenix is set to rule on the case today. Even if he rules in favor of the AP, don't get too excited: The appeals process will surely draw out the process of revealing the names anyway.

Remember, the Los Angeles Times reported that two of the names in the document were Roger Clemens and Andy Pettitte. They both angrily denied being in the document, but if it turned out that they were ... well, that would shift the conversation a little bit, now wouldn't it?

Judge Set To Rule On Grimsley Affidavit [Lion In Oil]

This leads, of course, to the other question that, strangely, isn't be asked: The reason Roger Clemens and Andy Pettitte are considering retirement wouldn't happen to have anything to do with steroids, would it? Despite the recent revelations — disputed, but not disproven — that Clemens and Pettite are in the Jason Grimsley HGH report — it seems odd that most stories about the duo's "indecision" don't mention the steroid business, but they don't. Personally, we can't imagine why either pitcher, at the tail ends of their careers and so much more to lose than to gain, would put themselves in the sniper's scope one more season, but we don't know why Barry Bonds is coming back either.

More On Mota [Baseball Musings]
Clemens, Pettitte Considering Retirement [ESPN]

The Times says they got access to a non-redacted version of the document in which former Arizona Diamondback Jason Grimsley identified Major League Baseball players who used drugs. Grimsley, according to them, told investigators that Clemens and Pettitte used "athletic performance-enhancing drugs," (which could be anything, really) while Tejada, Brian Roberts, and Jay Gibbons "took anabolic steroids."

Of course, the Times also says that Grimsley's told friends of his that federal agents have misrepresented what he said. So, naturally, nothing's even close to being conclusive, but when is it ever? Gibbons and Tejada have already issued denials, and so has Clemens' agents.

My position has on steroids in baseball has long been that I just don't care. I'm a steroid agnostic, at least in terms of crucifying players who have used. It's not that I'm not disturbed by rampant steroid use in sports, it's that I've just accepted that we're never going to know for sure who did it and who didn't. I'm not going to get mad at a player who gets linked to steroids when the fact of the matter is that I've probably cheered in the past for guys who hit home runs just minutes after pulling a needle out of their ass.

More on this in the coming days, I'm sure.

Clemens Is Named in Drug Affidavit [Los Angeles Times]
Strap In For The Grimsley Express [Deadspin]

And of course, those numbers are likely way higher than what reality would actually dictate, and that $1,667 per pitch is a very conservative estimate. In addition, Clemens, as noted here, lives in Houston, his son is a member of the Astros organization, and he and Astros pitcher Andy Pettitte are like, total BFF. It's hard to see much of a downside here for ol' Rog.

Clemens has said that he won't be playing in May, but a decision about where/if he's going to play could come sometime soon. If the offer of $20 million really did happen, and he doesn't take it, someone really should consider kicking his ass.

$20 million for the Rocket? [SportsJustice]
Interest in Clemens Is Low-Key and Far Away [New York Times]