Still, why not, because, what the hell, it's 9/11 and we should all be having as much fun as we can before the next 9/11. Let's eat some pizza and get our tops off and stuff.

But.... I'm not so sure I would feel great if I were Andy Roddick and my ladyfriend was like, "Yes, I will go tits-out in GQ. I mean, sure, she has been putting it out there in SI for a while ("a while" being years and years, even though she is only 22), but sooner or later I'd be like, "You know, hon, I make plenty of money, why don't we keep the girls inside for a while?" Or maybe straight men are different? After all we are mammals. Maybe for straight guys, it's like, "DUDE, LOOK AT WHAT I SHOWER WITH." Can this be esplained to me please.

With no more excuses to fawn over Andy Murray, the British press needed to appoint a larger-than-life figure from Sunday's Wimbledon final, which, just one year after the Nadal-Federer epic, was "possibly the greatest, gutsiest attempted larceny the old tournament has ever seen." (That's sort of comparable to The Greatest Match Ever Played, I suppose.) Fortunately for the royal hacks, they had their choice of Roddick and Federer to laud. Most chose Federer. Some brave few extolled Roddick in a rather surprising twist heretofore not seen in canonical British literature.

Martin Samuel, Daily Mail:

Roddick made a mockery of that presumption, of so many presumptions in fact, firstly that it required his A game to beat Murray in the semi-final. As we now know, it was only his B-plus performance. Herewas Roddick's peak this year, perhaps even in his career, and that Federer still found the wit and strength to defeat him over 30 games in the final set is what puts him apart as a champion.

‘How would you describe what you did here today?' Roddick was asked. ‘I lost,' he deadpanned. And, yes, he did, and nothing else matters to such a competitor. Yet, for once, the black and white cannot be allowed to tell the whole story.

Roger Federer is now beyond debate the greatest tennis player there has been and we know this because after four hours and 17 minutes and 77 games on July 5, 2009, he was fractionally better than Andy Roddick. And if he wasn't the greatest player in the history of the sport he would not have been. It is as simple as that.

James Lawton, The Independent

When Roddick, the 26-year-old Texan who last Friday gave Britain's prospective Grand Slam hero Andy Murray an ultimate lesson in the need to go all the way beyond what you thought was your deepest possible commitment, finally surrendered 14-16 in the fifth set which stretched the match into its fifth hour, he had almost literally been played to a standstill.

However, if it happens that the US Open title he won six years ago – in that hiatus between the glory of Sampras, whose record mark of 14 Grand Slam titles was passed by Federer last night – and the rise of the man who in the end had just a little too much of everything, he has something to tell the grandchildren who are likely to gather around him one day.

He can tell them that he once challenged one of the greatest sportsman who ever lived to fight as he had hardly ever fought before.

...

He had created his impeccable history, something beyond revision or doubt. He accomplished all he had hoped. Roddick? He took his own place in the annals of the game. It is that place where the fighters reside, the men who make the challenge ultimately so worthwhile.

Neil Harman, The Times

Roddick went back to his chair, dropped his racket at his feet and stared at the ground, to be roused by shouts of "Roddick, Roddick". Not even in New York, at home, where he won his ground-breaking first grand-slam title in 2003, had the crowd reacted to him so. He rose and applauded them back. One hoped that at home, the Americans were raising their chilled beers to him. He had been heroic, he had been human, he had given all he had.

Federer was about to raise the cup again. Glory, glory to the champion. Roddick had lost, but he hadn't really.

Ah, there's the moral victory that Roddick wouldn't acknowledge, but the press was all too giddy to bestow on him. But in reality, Roddick was a winner — for British bettors:

chickendinner tipped A-Rod to reach the final, which if you bet with Paddy Power as we advised would have earned you a £50 return on a £5 E/W stake, although it could have been £145 if he hadn't tired at the end.

The wienerschnitzel's on me if you can put that into proper English.

Only the greatest could have won against Roddick [Daily Mail]
Roddick's courage ensures an epic finale [The Independent]
Crazy Sunday afternoon leaves Roddick a broken man [The Times]
Heroic Andy Roddick nets chickendinner a tidy profit [chickendinner]

A reader sent in this old photo of almost-a-champion Andy Roddick playing beer pong at some young person function where they enjoy drinking and socializing. According to the reader, Roddick had a four-cup lead on the best beer pong player in the world before he became distracted and shockingly missed the table altogether with his next toss. This was the crucial, seminal moment where momentum shifted away from Andy. But Roddick hung in for as long as possible, and pushed his much more skilled opponent to the limit, setting up an amazing 30-shot back-and-forth when they each had one cup on the table. Roddick, exhausted, finally lost when his ball rattled off the side of the cup. Many who witnessed it said it was excruciating to watch, but were proud of how well Andy played. That still doesn't make the sting go away.

*****

Good morning. It's Monday. Let's ride off on thee women.

But what sets Roddick apart from many other millionaires with heavy endorsements and wives that look that this, is his genuine likability. Today's loss at Wimbledon had to be crippling, yet he still managed to muster enough strength and dignity to charm the crap out of everyone during his post-match Centre Court interview. He's no longer the young phenom, destined to dominate men's tennis for years, but he's also become someone who you will always pull for. He's playing better than ever, so I'm sure we'll eventually get to see Roddick win a second Grand Slam title. It just would have been nice to see him win this one.

PHOTO: Yahoo!

****

Hope you had a great holiday weekend. See you tomorrow all bright, shiny and new.

Andy Roddick controlled Roger Federer for the first 50 minutes of Wimbledon, up 1-0, cruising through the second set tie-break 6-1, but then, as is typical of Federer/Roddick matches, things fall apart. A couple of deceptive serves by Federer, a couple of face-slapping bonks by Roddick at the net, Federer pulled out the tiebreak, and, it was at that point, you saw Andy's hopes of a Wimbledon upset seemingly disintegrate. But, miraculously, he hung in, pushing it to a fifth set that lasted forever. Federer whittled down Roddick to a sweaty nub with his unflinching, surgical style. After, you know, 85 hours. But, damn, this was epic.

Consolatory reality: Roddick played extraordinary in this match-up and proved he's capable of competing with the cyborg nature of Federer. But once again it'll be a champagne party at Gavin Rossdale's.

And no thanks to NBC Sports whose shitty-ass live feed decided to conk out in the 5th set. If that Traveler's Insurance dog is not being set on fire because of this, I will do it myself.

But here's a little something for Andy Roddick anyway.

And good afternoon. Hope the holiday treated you patriotically. And we can finally start the day.

The much anticipated serve-and-volley of nuptials between Andy Roddick
and his smoking hot fiancée, Sports Illustrated swimsuit model
Brooklyn Decker, will take place next weekend at an undisclosed
location in Austin, Texas (Roddick grew up in Austin and now lives
there). Elton John is among the expected guests, along with Roddick's
Davis Cup teammates James Blake and Mardy Fish-both of whom lost in
the first round of U.S. Men's Clay Court Championships in Houston
earlier this week.

The pair announced their engagement just over a year ago. Here's a
quick recap of their, ahem, mixed doubles, via Wikipedia:

"Roddick was flipping through the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue
when he spotted Brooklyn Decker, a fashion model. He had his agent
contact hers. The two have been dating since at least the 2007 Davis
Cup."

The Deucebag hears it's a small wedding. No word on Decker's gown,
although Lacoste couture would be fitting. As would a bikini.

So there you go. Apparently Dylan is calling himself the "Deucebag" now which is quite catchy. Paparazzi should begin assembling in Austin immediately to find the perfect tree or garbage dumpster to hide in to get the candid shots.

UPDATE: According to one email tipster it's going to be held at the Westwood Country Club. His girlfriend's a server there. He said she's also seen Elton John's event rider.

The story at the Australian Open was how Roddick was in the best shape of his life, and how he reached the semifinals by outlasting his less-prepared, less-hydrated opponents. Then he ran into his old nemesis Roger Federer, who promptly dispatched him in straight sets. It was the 15th time in 18 meetings that Roddick has lost to Federer and it wasn't even that close, especially after Roddick was unhinged by a tough replay call. It must be rough knowing that you're one of the best players in the world, playing some of the best tennis of your life, and yet you're still nowhere near the best of the best. At least in tennis, you can still tell a referee to "have some sack" and not get a technical for it.

That leaves the tournament one match away from the inevitable Nadal-Federer final. It would be their eighth Grand Slam final meeting and third time out of the last four—but their first meeting in Australia. I guess those two guys are pretty good.

Roddick's improved, but still can't match Federer [Fox Sports]
Australian Open scores [AustralianOpen.com]

During our (long) trek from the parking lot to the front door, S would randomly go up to couples on their way home and ask for their ticket stubs. Out of the kindness of their hearts, and also a little help from my beaming, innocent smile, people were pretty willing to dig into their pockets to find their crumpled tickets. We landed our first set of tickets, and I was already satisfied. But S would not stop there. He wanted to score some pimp seats. We collected a few pairs of ticket stubs, but none that were of baller status.

We then walked by the VIP area, and quickly asked a foreign couple for their ticket stubs as they exited the section. By distracting the doorman with ice cream, we were quickly allowed reentry, and the entire VIP floor area was at our fingertips.

Food makes a great diversion for people working long hours, no matter how "important" they seem to be? Did I ever tell you about the time I scored a luxury box for the Pro Bowl by dousing my nipples with poi? Man, that's the oldest trick in the book.

Blogger Uses Ice Cream, Trickery To Get 'Pimp' Seats At The US Open [Machochip]

Roddick, 25, has already begun fielding questions about his engagement even though he's in the middle of playing in the Masters Series tournament in Key Biscayne. :

Q. So does it feel any different to be an engaged man other than, you know, questions in People Magazine and all that?

ANDY RODDICK: Yeah. I think so. I think it's a life choice, so it is a bit different. I think I lost half my fan base today.

Well, given the astronomical chances of this marriage actually working, we're sure Roddick will regain the fanbase he lost in, oh, a little over a year.

The girl's 20, Andy. She hasn't even grown all of her lady parts yet. (Ed. Note: But she is better at picking NFL games than Paul Zimmerman!) But good luck keeping that gazelle in a cage when you're both traveling nine months out of the year.

(Better non-convenience store picture of Brooklyn Decker below, without the blushing bald guy.)

Andy engaged to Brooklyn Decker [Andy Roddick]
Andy Roddick interview [Tennis X]

I spent the last few weeks in Austin really focused on my training and getting back into shape...but pretty sure I'm not as fit as the Men's Fitness cover suggests...little did I know I have 22 inch guns and a disappearing birth mark on my right arm. I saw the cover for the first time when I landed after Rome...it was pretty funny...I walked by the newsstand in the airport and did a total double take ...I can barely figure out how to work the red-eye tool on my digital camera...whoever did this has mad skills...maybe Rafael Nadal wants his arms back?...

We'd like to take this moment to remind you of one of our favorite athlete run-in stories of all time: Andy Roddick's intense fear of rabbits.

Checking In From Austria [AndyRoddick.com]
Athlete Run-Ins: Roddick's Rabbit Phobia [Deadspin]

Roger Federer won his third consecutive U.S. Open men's final yesterday, defeating Andy Roddick — who ran out of both mojo and Dick Enberg comparisons to his coach, Jimmy Connors — in four sets, 6-2, 4-6, 7-5, 6-1, a match that was not even that close. For Federer, it was his ninth Grand Slam title, putting him a touch below guys named Sampras (14), Emerson (12), Borg (11), Laver (11) and Tilden (10) and in the exhaustive Tiger Woods conversation of greatest all-time in their respective sports.

(Editor's Note: While watching the NFL yesterday, we occasionally noticed Woods on the TV, cheering Federer on while wearing a backwards hat. God, he's such a dork.)

I spent most of the afternoon struggling to find a reason to hate Federer. And while his Feder-bear charity is perhaps reason enough, the search proved futile. The guy's a fucking machine. A very friendly, handsome, respectful machine that apparently manufactures titles as frequently as it does teddy bears for UNICEF. God, I fucking hate him.

Roddick's now 1-11 all-time vs. Federer — the kind of domination one normally pays $300 an hour for. You know, let's not go there, either.

Stableford: Sharapova Fingered In Bananagate [Deadspin]
Stableford: Long Night In Flushing [Deadspin]
Stableford: A Night Of Agassi [Deadspin]

Andy Roddick, in Houston for the Davis Cup in 2002, then at least 18 or 19, was forced to attend an Easter morning brunch at the St. Regis Hotel, where the players were sequestered. Seems that the hotel had hired a bunch of mascots in training to wear various costumes of loveable Easter icons to wander around the brunch, giving gifts to the kiddies (no recollection of a Jesus type character working the room, but that would have been perfect).

Seems Andy (who was fresh off of his allegedly celibate fling with THE Jessica Simpson and had moved on to another, hotter woman named Jessica Simpson, whom no doubt put out) is petrified of the Easter Bunny. Not just the munchkin in the costume, apparently. He s Easter Bunny-phobic, in general. He got all sorts of agitated when he saw the bunny frolicking about. To the point of asking us to make sure we kept the bunny far, far away from him. And acting all freaky about it. This show of manliness no doubt concerned Jessica v.2, but she then remembered that Andy was 19, stupid and loaded, and all was well, once again.

The mental image of Roddick cowering from the Easter Bunny is going to stick with us, we think. By the way, much to our surprise, there doesn't appear to be an official name for the fear of rabbits. (We checked.)

Athlete Run-Ins: The Angry Tim Duncan. Grrr! [Deadspin]

(Update: There is a word for the fear of rabbits. We knew it! It's "Leporiphobia;" supposedly it was once considered unlucky to have rabbits aboard ships. Which makes sense, we guess.)