When there's not a SICKO in need of shaming, Peyser skulks around courthouses watching the trials of minor celebrities.

Today she is OUTRAGED that Antonio Pierce TWEETED after testifying before a grand jury. He didn't Tweet about the Plaxico Burress incident, but, you know. He TWEETED! Instead of confessing to all the various crimes that Andrew Peyser knows he is guilty of! The nerve of this guy!

MINUTES after he told a grand jury he did nothing in the Plaxico Burress mess, Giants linebacker and fellow twit Antonio Pierce couldn't wait to post this cocky tweet on Twitter:

"Which way to ALBANY? someone just told me."

Yes, right. Very cocky. And "arrogant." And "wacky" and "ornery." And: "This idiot athlete clearly thinks a lot of himself." Because he is Tweeting, about how he is excited to play football, and how he hopes to play it very well, this fall.

We hope Andrea Peyser stays on the sports beat, because we would love to read her thoughts on Mutton Bustin'.

Here's an odd video from NYPost.com of Giants' linebacker Antonio Pierce getting handsy with a woman at a strip joint. Does this grainy surveillance video reveal anything groundbreaking about the Plaxico story? Not at all. But it does reveal that Antonio's a fan of the ol' public motorboat.

Another Giant Boob [NYPost.com]

• "At this point it doesn't mean much to me," guard Chris Snee snarled. "We want to win and get in, that was the thing. We didn't play well enough to deserve that title today." [NYP]

• "Here were the distractions for the Giants Sunday, in no particular order: Donovan McNabb. Brian Westbrook. All the Eagle receivers who made third-down catches in front of soft Giants defensive backs all day long. And that huge Eagles offensive line was a distraction, because it kept the Giants' defense off McNabb in every moment of the game that counted." [NYDN]

• "It is impossible to know if the pressure affected Pierce’s play Sunday, but he took two unfortunate penalties during the second quarter and was victimized on Philadelphia’s pivotal touchdown, a short pass behind him to Brian Westbrook." [NYT]

• "NFC East Champs. Not bad for a franchise that has never won more than 8 games following a Super Bowl appearance. Enjoy it, click the "Fan Shop" link on the left, buy a "NFC East Champs T-shirt", and relax guys. There isn't one fan in football who wouldn't trade positions with us." [Big Blue View]

PHOTO: Anthony J. Causi, NYP

In case you missed it last night, Burress was suspended by the New York Giants and placed on the non-injury football list, costing him about $27 million in unpaid salary (plus fines.) The fact that he is not on an NFL roster may also make it easier for the prosecutors to hit him with that very large book they are preparing to throw.

Pierce on the other hand is still practicing and will presumably be playing on Sunday, barring any developments that are almost certain to happen. I think people generally sympathize with him, because he was just trying to help his dumb friend survive his own dumbness. He's kind of like Matt Damon in "Rounders." Maybe he should challenge Mike Bloomberg to a game of No Limit for all the marbles. (Has Bill Simmons already plumbed this metaphor?) He is supposed to meet with the DA "in the near future," but he still hasn't done that and if he doesn't soon, he could be making even more trouble for himself.

One person who is definitely in trouble is the doctor who was mysteriously summoned to New York-Cornell Hospital (possibly by a Giants official) to treat one "Harris Smith" and then "forgot" to report the gunshot victim to police. She's been suspended for what might be termed "a complete lack of medical ethics." Other doctors tend to frown on that stuff.

Our advice to Pierce? Throw Plax under the bus. You can't save his career, but you can try not to destroy your own in the process. Plus, that Matt Damon became Jason Bourne and that was pretty awesome, wasn't it?

COPS IMPOUND PIERCE'S SUV [NY POST]
"Loyal to a fault, New York Giants' Antonio Pierce learning a tough lesson" [Star-Ledger]
DOC BENCHED IN GIANT BOO-BOO [NY Post]
The Plaxico Burress Shooting, As Interpreted By Dorm Kids [MouthPiece Sports]
List: Side Projects for Plaxico Burress [Zulkey]

Burress posted a $100,000 bail and was given a court date of March 31. So that gives us a good four months of hand-wringing, finger-wagging, incorrect predictions, unanswerable questions and at least 87 Mike Lupica columns about gun violence. It turns out that the incident that may really have sparked this situation happened on Monday night, when Burress' teammate Steve Smith was robbed at gunpoint after a night on the town. Burress probably thought that if Smith could be robbed in front of his own house (by the driver who took him home), he would need protection himself. Take it, Lupica.

We always hear that afterward, that they've got to be carrying to protect themselves, protect the big wad of cash they're carrying, protect their expensive jewelry. But ask yourself something: When was the last time you heard of a famous athlete stopping a crime, against himself or anybody else, because he was the one with the gun?

Seriously? When was the last time you heard of somebody like Plaxico Burress being a crimefighter? More often than not, they become the crime. Or the scene of the crime. Burress needed a gun to be tough and keep himself from some menace to society ready to jump out from the dance floor at the Latin Quarter, and if he didn't turn into a menace to society, he certainly became one to himself.

That really misses the point, but okay. Let's leave the anger to the Mayor and look at the what Giants can do now.

As you may have noticed, March 31 is after the NFL season is over, which leaves the G-Men with several options. They could plausibly make the case to "let the system work" and go about their business for the rest of this season, letting Burress back on the team (once his leg heals.) They could give him a preliminary wrist slap suspension to show they are "taking this very seriously" and still have him back for the playoffs.

They could keep him inactive forever, suspending him with pay or if doctors say his injury is severe enough, they could put him on the non-injury football list. That not only leaves him out for the season, but the Giants would not have to pay him and they could possibly get back some of the money they've already paid him. Or they could just cut their losses now, release him and his distractions immediately and move on with their lives. Of course, all of that would be moot if Roger Goodell decides to "take care of" the problem himself.

But there are other issues for the Giants—notably the fate of Antonio Pierce. (Reportedly, he was supposed to join Burress at the station yesterday and did not show.) If he handled Plaxico's gun at any time on the fateful night, then he is also guilty of possession of an illegal firearm, to say nothing of tampering/obstruction of justice charges if police decide that he tried to hide the evidence. I think most folks agree that the Giants can win without Burress, but their title defense would be seriously hampered without their middle linebacker. It's one thing for a troublemaking player to take himself out of the picture, but to drag other players into his web of craziness may be too much for management to take.

For his part, running back Derrick Ward has established that he was not involved at all and the NYPD is no longer looking at him as a person of interest. But as with every other twist and turn in this story, that only raises more questions. Like ... what ... is up ... with the sweater?

• Plaxico arrives at Stadium; Future a Giant question mark [Daily News]
• Any chance of Plaxico Burress catching a break is real long shot [Mike Lupica]
• BURRESS CHARGED; GIANTS WEIGH OPTIONS [NY Post]
• BURRESS DEAL HAS LOOPHOLES [NY Post]
• Giants' Smith was holdup victim last week [Newsday]
• Giants' Pierce wants to get past gun 'headache' [Newsday]
• Exclusive: Blitz Can Confirm Where Derrick Ward Was Friday [Bob's Blitz]