The statement:

I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect. I am dealing with my behavior and personal failings behind closed doors with my family. Those feelings should be shared by us alone.

Although I am a well-known person and have made my career as a professional athlete, I have been dismayed to realize the full extent of what tabloid scrutiny really means. For the last week, my family and I have been hounded to expose intimate details of our personal lives. The stories in particular that physical violence played any role in the car accident were utterly false and malicious. Elin has always done more to support our family and shown more grace than anyone could possibly expect.

But no matter how intense curiosity about public figures can be, there is an important and deep principle at stake which is the right to some simple, human measure of privacy. I realize there are some who don't share my view on that. But for me, the virtue of privacy is one that must be protected in matters that are intimate and within one's own family. Personal sins should not require press releases and problems within a family shouldn't have to mean public confessions.

Whatever regrets I have about letting my family down have been shared with and felt by us alone. I have given this a lot of reflection and thought and I believe that there is a point at which I must stick to that principle even though it's difficult.

I will strive to be a better person and the husband and father that my family deserves. For all of those who have supported me over the years, I offer my profound apology.

And it's working, if TigerWoods.com's carefully monitored comments section is any indication of global sentiment. I think Sonylos1966 speaks, if not for all of us, then at least for his fellow Nike interns, when he writes: "Apoligy accepted!"

UPDATE: Amusing exchange in the TigerWoods.com mailbag, teased just below his "comment on current events":

Do you enjoy playing so far away from home? I can imagine that, now that you have children, it's got to be hard to be so far away from them.
- Rupert from Houston

You're exactly right, Rupert. Now, it's very difficult to leave Elin and the children, and I'm sure it's only going to get tougher. ...

Tiger comments on current events [TigerWoods.com]

Johnson has been "barred from team activities" while they "investigate" his alleged use of anti-gay slurs against Twitter and other real media types. However, when you play in Kansas City ... is that really a punishment? Johnson, meanwhile, apologized to anyone who cared to listen "for the words I used." The yelling and the insults? That's all good, but he really should have chosen a different term of non-endearment.

"I regret my actions. The words were used by me in frustration, and they were not appropriate," he said. "I did not intend to offend anyone, but that is no excuse for what I said."

Well, that was to be expected. Now we just sit back and wait for the inevitable trade/deactivation/release. There's no point in him ever playing for the Chiefs again, but maybe his dad could use a new assistant. Like that guy in Rememeber The Titans!

Chiefs RB Johnson apologizes for gay slurs [Yahoo/AP]

P.S. But he was (maybe) nice to a little kid once, so forget all that other stuff you're heard. [Jocklife]

Not long after that old clip of a young wide receiver talking about his appeal with naive high school girls started burning up the internets, we—and other media outlets that posted it—got a polite and humble email from the former Bengal turned TV expert guy, apologizing for his youthful indiscretion. The mea culpa is reproduced in full, below:

As a family man I am extremely embarrassed by an interview I did when I was in my early twenties about dating. My comments were insulting, immature, and foolishly intended as a joke. They do not reflect how I lived my life then or now.

I was asked to do something humorous about dating, and it has been a major embarrassment to me since the day I said it.

I apologize to anyone who has ever had the misfortune to see it now or a quarter-century ago.

Sincerely
Cris Collinsworth

Apology accepted, Cris. When it comes to the haircut, however, you should have no regrets.

At 24 years old and coming off the best season off his young career, Parque tore the labrum in his throwing shoulder and never recovered. After two years of fruitless therapy and desperate to get his fastball back, he ordered some human growth hormone (yes, he's in the Mitchell Report), took a couple of injections, and then gave up. He retired in 2003, pitching only 70 innings in his final three seasons.

Apparently, the torment of those dark days have been eating away at him ever since. He painstakingly tries to explain himself. He had kids to feed! He was so young! He's just a man! You know what? We get it, Jim. You were desperate to rebuild your career and, yes, almost anyone of us would have done the same. No one is mad at you, buddy.

But let's say for a moment that Parque hadn't freaked out and stopped taking the drug. What if he had continued using HGH and it made him a serviceable pitcher for five more years or so? He makes a couple million dollars, his family is more financially stable, the White Sox get a fourth starter, and no one is the wiser. I know the "steroids = cheating" crowd won't appreciate this, but ... so what if he did?

Here's Jim own words about it:

HGH was not banned by Major League Baseball when I ordered it. It was controversial and unethical, but it was not banned.

[...]

I had done just enough research to know that what I was about to do had huge risks. Because I did not obtain the drugsfrom a lab, they could be tainted or entirely different than what I ordered. I was uncomfortable, but I injected the substance about six times. It immediately made me sleep deeper. My skin became baby-soft, and I could feel my workouts improving. It never gave me more strength or bulked me up, but it provided quicker recoveries. I began to throw harder because my shoulder felt no pain. I was able to withstand more throwing, creating a work environment that I had not experienced in two years.

So basically ... he took a drug and it made him feel better. He suffered an injury and this helped him get over it. What is wrong with that? How is that any worse than a player who takes aspirin for a headache or vicodin for a sore back or a shot of anesthetic to numb a foot injury or having a surgeon temporarily alter your peroneus brevis tendon so that you can become an American hero? Aren't those things just as "performance enhancing" (maybe more so) as Parque's baby soft skin? All convincing explanations accepted below, but you'll have to work pretty hard to invent one.

It's true that we don't know a lot about HGH and its effects on the body, but every drug that's ever been manufactured started out that way. There's little evidence that it actually makes you bigger or stronger and it doesn't add any drop to your curveball. Maybe if athletes were allowed to use it, supervised correctly, we might learn what it can really do. And maybe more pitchers like Parque wouldn't have to retire at age 27.

Ex-Sox pitcher Jim Parque confesses: Why I juiced [Sun-Times]

We have two Deadcasts this week. First up: a short (or should I say, FUN SIZE!) Deadcast with the great Joe Posnanski, who would like to apologize to Cleveland fans for penning this SI cover story that sealed the Cavs' eventual doom. Actually, I don't really know if Joe is sorry. But I made him read a scripted apology under threat of urineboarding, which seemed to work wonders.

Joe warned me prior to this podcast that's he very boring to talk to in person, so we spend a lot of time talking just what makes him so terribly, painfully dull. Ironically, this topic proved almost kinda not quite that interesting, which was nice. I also read Joe a selection of lesbian-themed haikus. I think it was an important topic to cover. We also talk about Joe's upcoming book on the Big Red Machine, a book Joe Morgan will almost certainly fail to read. And we talk about all the athletes that have threatened to kill Joe. Perhaps because he was boring them.

This first podcast of the week is available for your listening pleasure right here. You can also find the new Deadcast in the iTunes Music Store here. And check out Posnanski's new SI.com column with Bill James here. I'm told it's very baseballey.

Friday's Deadcast guest is actress Justine Bateman. Why? Hey, why the fuck not? Got a question/love letter/restraining order you need read for Justine over the air? Send it to me here.

Special thanks to Liberated Syndication for hosting us. Now sit back, relax, and listen as I waste away twenty perfectly good minutes with the best sportswriter in America.

Well, this is exciting. Tennessee Titans quarterback and part-time shirtless dancing zombie has come out and apologized for those photos that popped up online last week. Young explained himself to the throngs of Tennessee media after practice on Thursday.

Take it away, Vince:

“I apologize to some of the kids if they did see it because I am trying to be a role model for them. But at the same time, I was just trying to have fun. (But) that is the life of a quarterback, somebody of my status. It is not going to stop me from having fun. I just have to watch myself.’’

“I guess somebody was trying to make some money and sold the picture to the web site,” Young said. “But at the same time that is the life I chose to live. It is not going to stop me from having fun. I just have to watch myself.

“They always want to try and get some negative pub on me. It wasn’t really nothing bad. … Everybody deserves to have a good time every once in a while during the offseason.’’

High fucking five, brother.

Vince Young apologizes to kids for Internet photos [Tennessean] [via BL]