Blount only got nine carries last night—probably because he missed 10 games this season after punching Boise State's Byron Hout on opening night—but his 12-yard TD was a huge moment in the Ducks comeback win over Oregon State, in his final home game. Now he's literally being lauded with roses. That's quite a year.

I think maybe that Blount has it figured out. Why destroy your body for 12 grueling games, when you can get yourself suspended, show up to rescue your team at the last possible moment, still get to play in the Rose Bowl, and save your knee ligaments for the NFL Combine. He's crazy, all right. Crazy like a duck.

Let's watch that punch again, huh? Just for old time's sake....

Honorable Mention: Adrian Peterson, for proving that his BMW can travel 109 m.p.h. Yes, he was in a 55-m.p.h. zone, but his car his made out of that Nike snake skin stuff, so he was protected.

As you may have heard, after a 12-game preseason the Gators' first actual football contest takes place this Saturday against Alabama. Winner gets the BCS Championship Game. So obviously Dunlap's timing is impeccable. And now his coach has an interesting decision to make. Will Urban Meyer suspend his team's leading sack maker before the biggest the game of the season? Thanks to the Brandon Spikes incident—where Meyer was lambasted for his one half suspension—he might not have a choice. Or will the importance of this game allow him to make up some sort of excuse about "waiting for the legal process to sort things out" and keep Dunlap active, thereby not punishing him at all?

What if he does suspended Dunlap? Will it matter? Would an Alabama victory (if they can even still get one) be cheapened? Something tells me Tide fans wouldn't be broken up about it. Either way, we're going to learn a little something about the Florida coach this week, although perhaps the fact that no one is totally sure which way he'll go tells us something already.

Also, falling asleep at a traffic light? That shows a real commitment to drunk driving. That's the kind of stuff that makes NFL scouts sit up and take notice.

Dunlap's Arrest Puts Spotlight on Florida [New York Times]
Gators' star defensive end charged with DUI [Journal Constitution]
Dunlap's arrest inexplicable [ESPN]

They didn't just do it with Drew Brees passing the ball wherever he wished (although he did do that) and they didn't just get some lucky bounces on defense (although they did get those) and they didn't do it because Bill Belichick secretly murdered his kickers. (Although he's still not afraid to go for it on 4th down.) The Saints sliced the Patriots up on offense and shut them down on defense. A couple of times they even made Tom Brady look like Drew Henson. This team is officially THE REAL DEAL.

In fact, looking at their schedule, I don't see where their first loss comes from. Does anyone other than Dallas even put up a fight? And do you have any doubt that Brees that can't pick that defense apart?

Best of all, any TV producers compiling file footage for their "How the Saints saved New Orleans" packages to be shown this January will not have done so in vain. Remember how awesome it was when people had to live in the Superdome for a week! Let's relieve that moment over and over and over again.

Dome housing a winner again [The Boston Globe]
Brees a godsend for Saints [San Diego Union-Tribune]
New Orleans Saints prove they are for real [NOLA.com]
Earlier: Saints Rebuild New Orleans For Fourth Consecutive Year

Honorable mention: Hackers who are exploiting your lust for all things Tiger Woods to install malware on your computers. Remember, kids—never visit any website that isn't Deadspin.com! (Seriously, don't do it. It's a scary world out there.) [Sophos]

The school and the campus police are currently playing dumb, refusing to release any details about the fight and the athletic department similarly won't say why the players were given the boot. But witness told the campus newspaper that one of the guys involved in the Sunday night brawl had dreadlocks, so that pretty much cinches it. Also, Winston is a violent idiot so everyone knows he had to be involved.

As you may recall, Winston (pictured in this bittersweet moment) went to jail this summer after beating up an MSU hockey player—the player missed the whole season as a result—and was reinstated to the football team the day he was released. It's really heartwarming to see a young man make the most of his second chance. Mark Dantonio's sparkling judgment remains unblemished.

Winston, Jenrette removed from team; police, MSU silent [The State News]

Golden State only dressed eight players last night, because injuries and illness had taken down everyone else, and coach Don Nelson isn't even traveling with the team because he has pneumonia. So once they got rid of that dead weight, they actually played like a real professional basketball team. Three players—Monta Ellis, Vladimir Radmanovic, and Anthony Morrow—played all 48 minutes, but still had enough in the tank to end the Mavericks' five-game winning streak. It was the first time since 1952 that an NBA team won a regular season game with only six players.

So why didn't fill-in coach Keith Smart use his remaining two bench players? Well, one was D-Leaguer Chris Hunter (Go Mat Ants!) who they had to sign just to get to the league minimum of eight bodies. And I guess Smart assumed the other guy was a ball boy or something. He's new at this.

Honorable mention: Alberto Poo-Holes. Why does his bat have a lighting bolt carved into it? [MLB]

See if this sounds familiar. Yale was leading by three points with 2:25 left in their giant season-defining game against Harvard on Saturday. It was fourth down and they had the ball on their own 26-yard line. Seems like an obvious punting situation, right? (After all, their punter is the best in the Ivy league and was averaging 51 yards per kick for the game.) Well, Williams was apparently so won over by the outpouring of love and affection that Bill Belichick got all week by going for it against the Colts, that he decided to do the Patriots' leader one better. The Bulldogs ran a fake punt that gained 15 yards on an end around run. The only hitch in the plan was that they needed 22.

I'm not sure those Ivy League eggheads read all that statistical analysis defending Belichick very carefully. Oh, sure it was a gutsy gamble that really sent a message. The message is that Yalies are not smart. Seriously, fourth and 22? Harvard got the ball at the Yale 40 and three plays later they scored the winning touchdown, their eighth victory in nine tries over their arch rival. Gah!

Williams has made a bit of a name for himself in his first head coaching season with his frequent and effective use of trick plays, and he claims he did not want to play scared. Plus, he was worried that Harvard had gained momentum and he wanted to "keep our foot on the pedal," because you always want to be going full speed when you drive into a brick wall.

Although, to be fair to the Elis, Williams did go to Stanford. Those West Coast buffoons can't do math for shit.

Williams offers apology to players day after loss [New Haven Register]
Head Coach Pulls a 'Belichick,' Yale Loses to Harvard [Fanhouse]
Harvard-Yale Game 2009 Has Yale Lose with 'Belichick' Call [Associated Content]

Memphis was supposedly decimated when John Calipari took everything but The Door with him on his way out of town, but the 32-year-old head coach took his rag tag bunch of SAT fakers into St. Louis and nearly knocked off the No. 1 team in his second game. Their conference (and the rest of their schedule, really) is still very winnable so expect a lot more "boy genius" stories before this year is out. Maybe someone will take a picture of him at an actual game before the year is out too. (Seriously, this is all the AP has on him.)

Honorable Mention: Matt Bradley. He had to leave the Rangers-Capitals game last night after getting beat up in the first period and got six stitches over his right eye. Then he scored the game-winning goal with five minutes to go in the third. That's a so-so night. [Wash. Post]

Isiah Thomas: He won a game! He won a game! I don't believe what I just saw! [Sun-Sentinel]

* * * * *

As mentioned earlier, we're trying something new this week. Since Barry's last post is actually the first thing that most of you see when you get up in the morning, that's the new "Wake Up, Deadspin!" So keep sending your "Morning Crap" photos and they'll generally end up there. Then I'll be making this spot the new daily version of the "Weekend Winner," as way to highlight one key story from last night's sports action. Is this a good idea? Who the hell knows? We're holding this thing together with paper clips.

If this upsets your rigid, Rain Man-like morning schedule, I apologize. There's still ten minutes to Wapner.

Honestly, I've got to believe that winning against the Browns is no picnic either. Last night's 16 point, 16 punt masterpiece was not exactly an endorsement for quality professional football. The game was so boring, it made Ray Lewis eat the grass. And somehow we still haven't settled the Brady Quinn (23.5 QB rating) Dilemma? What information are we waiting for on that one?

Oh, and best of all? Next week: Browns @ Lions. Gee, I hope I can still get tickets!

* * * * * *

It's Tuesday. Please do not get up on the stage.

As has become the tradition, Canada is holding a nation-spanning Olympic torch relay so that the entire host country can get in on that good old Olympic spirit. On a related note, did you know that Canada is really fucking big? And like ... really far north? I guess that even the person who lives on Resolute Bay should get to see the flame too, but man is that a hike. Sorry, but if your place can only be reached by sled dog, you might occasionally miss out on things.

You know, there's still plenty of room in Manitoba. Come on down. They won't bite.

[AP Photo/The Canadian Press, Jonathan Hayward]

* * * * *

It's Thursday. I don't need instructions to know how to rock.

I can't tell you what will happen on the court this year—other than that Michigan State will not win the Big Ten title—but it's fairly easy to guess what plotlines will be most attractive to us media vultures as fall turns into winter which turns into March which turns into you wasting a lot of money on bracket pools. Here are just a few stories you'll probably sick to death of by January (if you aren't already.)

The Isiah Experiment

The previously mentioned Thomas leads a terrible squad in a terrible conference, so naturally, you should expect to hear a lot about him. No team this bad will ever get more attention than Isiah's Panthers, who could lose by 50 at Carolina tonight and still consider it a moral victory. Look for him to orchestrate some sort of trade for Marcus Camby in early February.

The One and Dones

This could be year that finally pushes all the people lamenting the NBA age limit rules over the edge. If John Wall and Xavier Henry lead Kentucky and Kansas to the Final Four the way everyone expects them to—and then promptly bolt to the pros the way everyone knows they will—it might have even more people wondering why this charade continues to go on every year when these kids could just go to Europe and be easily forgotten about. I'll take my slow and stiff four-year seniors, thank you.

Yep, That's A One-Handed Basketball Player

This is Kevin Laue, 6-foot-11 center from Pleasanton, Calif., who is now a freshman on scholarship at Manhattan College. Also, he was born without the lower half of his left arm. (Hint to opposing centers: Try to make him put the ball on the floor.) [Photo via NY Daily News]

Marcus Jordan Sticking It To Adidas

Again, with the terrible small colleges in the middle of Florida? Marcus started his college career with a bang—by humiliating his program so that Nike could make .00089% more money next year. Thanks, Dad!

Just-in'love Smith, Guard, Siena Saints

Because why not?

Rick Pitino

Hey, remember when he fucked that woman in a restaurant, (allegedly) got her pregnant, bought her (temporary) silence, (probably?) convinced one of his assistants to marry her and then got all pissy when people pointed out that he shouldn't have done that? That's it. Just reminding you that happened so you can think about it anytime you see him on TV this season. (P.S. 9/11.)

Everything You Need to Know About the 2009-10 Season… [Rush The Court]
2009-10 Preseason 347 Countdown [Rivals]
65 things to watch during the 2009-10 season [FoxSports]

Last year, Romo's life—and that of his team—was an embarrassing and not very entertaining soap opera. He was dating an incredibly untalented tabloid star, fighting with his wide receivers (while secretly holding late-night trysts with his tight end) and the Cowboys missed the playoffs after he folded like a cheap suit during the stretch run. (Plus, there was Hard Knocks, Pacman Jones, Roy Williams, etc...) After a promising start to his career, it was looking like he might become the answer to a bar trivia question 10 years from now that would make people say, "Tony Romo? Whatever happened to that guy?"

Since then he dumped Jessica, Terrell Owens got run out of town and the Cowboys have returned to first place. Romo has found a new, less complain-y target and the giant video board is too distracting for anyone to notice his shaky footwork. Without all that drama in his life, Romo is a pretty solid quarterback. Solid enough to outsmart Andy Reid and the Eagles anyway. (Seriously, between the failed challenges and sissy field goal in the final minutes, I don't think there's any big game the Eagles can't find a way to screw up.)

Oh, there's still plenty of time for that late season collapse (despite two games against Washington and Oakland at home) and he still has a grumpy and terrible Roy Williams to deal with. Plus, you know ... Wade Phillips. But right now no one really cares about what Tony Romo is up to anymore and that should be just the way he likes it if he wants to keep winning.

Tony Romo, minus the flash, has pushed Cowboys atop of NFC East [USA Today]
Tony Romo delivers another complete performance in win over Eagles [Fort Worth Star-Telegram]

* * * * *

Here are some other big winners, who did not win quite as big:

Marmalard: That'll show those Giants for trading you for that pretty boy. Now let's get fucking druuuuunk. [Newsday]

The Indianapolis Colts: All they do is win! (*Regular Season Only) They'll be undefeated when the Patriots come to town next week. Then we'll see what's what. [Yahoo, Toronto Star]

SEC Championship Game Ticket Brokers: Another SEC game, another poor officiating job in favor of the undefeated team. They will get their Alabama vs. Florida, but not without another bit of generosity from the referees. [Mobile Press-Register, Wetzel]

Big Ten Haters: The conference's last best hope for respectability lost their quarterback and their undefeated season and now Ohio State will get yet another chance to lose the Rose Bowl. At least all our games are out of the way before Thanksgiving! (Sigh.) [Chicago Tribune, The Lantern]

Vince Young: 2-0 since taking over the reigns of the Titans. So everything's cool now, right? [Tennessean]

Finally, the Weekend Loser?: Matt Leinart: Seriously, the guy came into a no pressure, can't lose blowout and still got pulled from the game for being worse than ineffective. (One attempt, one interception.) Have you considered a career in the exciting field of electronics repair? The brochure is free!

Ok, I guess after watching that girl get her head pulled off this seems pretty tame, but I post this mostly to show solidarity with eye-gougers everywhere like Brandon Spikes. Spikes voluntary suspended himself for all of this Saturday's game, because the only thing worse than only getting to play just one half against Vanderbilt, is having to play a full game against Vanderbilt.

By the way, the official caption on this photo reads, "Hertha BSC player Marc Stein, right, grabs the head of Heerenveen player Oussama Assaidi, left, during their group D Europa League soccer match at Abe Lenstra stadium in Heerenveen, northern Netherlands, Thursday, Nov. 5, 2009." I understood "Thursday" but I think the rest of that is just gibberish.

[AP Photo/Peter Dejong]

* * * * *

No more Halloween posts, so stop sending the pictures now and get some help. I think it's a Loverboy kind of Friday.

Barron made exactly no dollars this year on the Nationwide and PGA Tours and missed the cut in 12 of 17 starts last year. So if he was looking to enhance his performance, it sure didn't work. Unless you consider not wanting to die to be performance enhancing. More than one pro golfer who knows Barron said it is common knowledge that he's been ill and taking numerous medications just to stay healthy.

"My big question is whether he was doing something to make himself feel better and did not get the therapeutic use exemption," Jerry Kelly said. "I mean, this guy had health problems. I was shocked when I heard, but I also understand knowing that he was trying to feel better."

[...]

"I'm surprised to hear that," British Open champion Stewart Cink said. "I know him a little bit. He's taken medicine in the past for a lot of different reasons. I would think that has a lot to do with it."

[...]

"I don't believe it," Rod Pampling said. "Doug Barron? Look at the man. Tell him to take his shirt off and ask anyone, 'Do you believe he's on performance-enhancing drugs?'"

Unfortunately, we've already seen Barron with his shirt off—at the 2006 Transitions Championship—so we don't have to ask him to do it again. Even more unfortunately, the PGA will not reveal what substance Barron tested positive for, so we don't know at this point if it was one of his regular prescriptions that set off the alarms. He's barely on the PGA Tour as it is, but he's been banned for one-year, effectively ending his pro career.

So the system works, right?

Doug Barron is 1st to violate PGA Tour drug policy [AP]
Sobel: Doug Barron's performance-enhancing drug violation a solitary issue [ESPN]