The entity known only as SeminFace sends along this pic of a fan confident in his Capitals, but less confident about his spelling. But his aborted homemade sign raises the question of when exactly he decided to give up. Was it when he noticed there wasn't enough room to finish "endangered species?" Was it when he realized he spelled "endangered" with an M? "Panthers" without an H? I say none of the above, because he still hasn't noticed "are."

My girlfriend just said to me: "Are you sure you want to post this? There might be something wrong with this guy, mentally. Charities give those people blocks of seats all the time. Just think about it before you post." Well, I'm thinking about it, and I'm posting it anyway.

A more persuasive sign, though less effective on the final score, is this one from reader Thomas at last night's ASU/USC game. But I don't think most of the country needs to put things in perspective in order to hate the Trojans.

•••••

A happy and healthy Sunday to all of you out there in Internet land. Just a reminder, our evolution didn't hinge on passivity.

Jack Elway has dropped out of the Arizona State football program, after sitting out all of last season as a redshirt. He's not transferring or changing sports and he's not hurt or going on a Mormon mission or anything like that. He's not even planning to drop out of Arizona State. He just doesn't want to play football anymore. I didn't know sons of former NFL legends were allowed to do that.

I guess poor Jack will just have to resign himself to the life of every other famous, well-off teenage student taking classes and admiring co-eds in the Arizona sunshine, instead of running wind sprints and taking cheap shots from second-team linebackers eight months a year. It's your funeral, pal!

ASU QB Elway leaving football [Arizona Republic]

Why hello there Deadspin, it is me, Shakey, here to do your live blog bidding on this fine Friday afternoon. You might recognize me from the Dayspin comments section and DUAN. We have a magnificent 6-11 matchup of Arizona State versus Temple University as they fight for the right to face the mighty Syracuse.

If you want more information, just mosey on over to the game capsule Dashiell and I put together and you will be bombarded with immense knowledge of these two programs. Enlightened you will be.

So sit back, relax and get your typing fingers warmed up because I expect a comment explosion for this game. Just don't tear me apart like you did to that snooty Dukie horsefucker last night. I have faith in you, and I hope you have faith in me. This is the best weekend of the year, and Deadspin wants to help make your wildest dreams come true. There's no place I'd rather be. Besides the Bahamas. Also, I'll try to post conservatively so it doesn't take ages to scroll all the way down. I know how annoying that is.

You won't find any semi-retarded Pitt fans bragging about dancing with DeJuan Blair, but you will find me answering ANY questions from the comments section. Because I'm a commenter and I've always wanted that. So yes, this is an interactive live blog.

Also, if you want a break from the March Madness...madness going around these parts, it'd be pretty cool if you checked out The Rookies, which is some blog with a whole bunch of nerds or something. Especially CoolHwhip. He couldn't catch a football for all of King Midas' silver.

Oh, and don't go to the other liveblogs. I heard those guys are a bunch of whore-people.

********************************************

19:00: Arizona State has won the tip. This is not a good sign for Temple because that means the ASU center is more athletic then the Temple center. Ruh-roh.

17:54: The skinny spaniard Sergio Olmos scores! That's two more then I expected out of him, because he sucks. Hey, have you ever seen that dude dance? Imagine a giraffe attempting to hump a fire hydrant.

14:51: Harden is swatted by that tall skinny goofy lookin' dude. That wasn't supposed to happen.

12:58: Christmas makes it rain! But Temple's still down. Kuksis took a three point shot that ended up going in as well. I think announcers should say 'Make it rain' more. Pacman ruined it for all of us.

COMMERCIAL: Whew, this liveblogging is tougher then I thought. If I mess up, I blame it on the nerds.

And by nerds I mean LittleWayne'sBleedingHead.

ClintonPortisHead: Question: Which type of bear is best?

A. Black Bear. Fact. Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica.

11:40: I always imagined Jeff Pendergraph to be white. Huh. Also, Glasser makes a looooong two. Juan Fernandez steps in for Temple. He didn't arrive in the United States until mid-December. Apparently he's really dreamy. But I didn't tell you this.

9:56: Pendergraph looks angry. He translated that anger into a 3 point play. ASU is up by 8.

8:56: Question. Can Temple stop Pendergraph? Answer. No. He's leading all scorers with 11 points.

K-Gun: Shakey, I realize you got a lot going on, but you know- if you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?

A. Redwood. Because I could be alive forever and laugh at everyone else as they slowly die. Plus people would fear me because I could fall on them.

7:56: Four of four from the floor. Say that four times fast.

COMMERCIAL: Did I just hear that ASU has a transfer from...from...DUKE!?!??!?! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Wilson ChandlerStick Maker:If Arizona State gets up 20, will you let Brian Fellow make a guest update?

A. Sorry. Brian Fellow is in rehab. Crystal Meth.

6:20: Christmas loves shooting the three, and for good reason. Let's see if Harden, Mr. Probable Number 2 pick, has anything to say in response.

COMMERCIAL: Alright Burger King, enough midgets. If wanted to watch them I'd just switch over to TLC. And you don't see me doing that. Because midgets are weird. Also, Temple's on an 8-0 run. Down by 5.

COMMERCIAL: Commercials suck. Watch this instead.

2:31: Harden just got violated. That was like a North Philadelphia mugging. Yet the referees turned a blind eye. Kind of like the cops down here.

1:55: The asshole color dude just said 'IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME' in a pseudo gay tone of voice. Kill him. Glasser has 14. This is impressive as he is white.

37.8: Temple's strategy must be leave the caucasian one open. This may work if Matt Harpring's in the game, but not for this Derek Glasser character. He is en fuego. ASU up by 11. Also, Dukie Eric Boateng has 0 points and 1 foul. Nice contribution!

phillas: Q. French or German mustard on the sandwich? My stomach awaits.

A. Neither. Eat cake.

HALFTIME: Temple has killed Derek Glasser. Interesting strategy. He has just been brutalized. John Chaney approves.

HALFTIME: It's halftime, and ASU is up 35-26 over Temple. Derek Glasser has 17, Jeff Pendergraph has 11 and ASU has dominated the poor Owls for most of the game. Only an 8-0 run fueled by Dionte Christmas' jump shot has kept Temple in the game. Since it's halftime, we need some entertainment up in here. How about Neil Young's Like a Hurricane?

Also, because Temple can't seem to stop a short white dude, why not a little inspiration.

K-Gun: What is the average flight speed of a coconut-laden swallow?

A. Walking at an extremely slow pace.

HALFTIME: Let's get ready for the second half, you shankapotomis's.

This liveblog brought to you by Brian Fellow. THAT'S CRAZY!

19:36: Temple starts the second half off by chucking the ball into the stands. That omen is probably not good.

18:07: Temple's Lavoy Allen has some rebounding skills. Unfortunately, whenever he grabs an offensive rebound Semaj Inge ends up missing. He's 0/7. Temple's missed it's last 13 field goals. They suck.

17:13: Dionte Christmas with the steal and 3 point play. I'm pretty sure the PBP guy just professed his gay love for him.

16:00: PBP: "IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME"

Color: "Oh, no you don't. Don't start with me." thinking: I'm going to straight up bitch slap this dude one of these days.

Oh yeah, Olmos with the slam. Temple down by 4!?!?!

14:45: Pendergraph says 'I can do that too, except cooler and with more flare'. He flushes it down. Temple down 6. The problem is, no one else can score but Christmas. I think I highlighted this flaw in my tournament capsule. Christmas has 19, the next highest Owl is Olmos with 6.

COMMERCIAL: Great transition back to the game CBS. Is a 7 year old running your replays? Or at least Kige Ramsey? Jeff Pendergraph is absolutely tearing the Temple frontline apart.

13:44: James Harden just fouled Christmas as the Owl was taking a 3 pointer. Harden has 2 points. Um, isn't he supposed to be super good? Rock You Like An Iracane said he reminded him of Gilbert Arenas. Maybe Rock doesn't think Gilbert is very good.

Travis Halfner the Man: Question - I have 61 minutes until I can leave the dungeon that is my cubicle. What can I do to kill the time without actually having to work?

A. Read my shit.

COMMERCIAL BREAK: Glasser's in pain. Looks like assaulting him was a good decision.

11:45: Harden travels. Guess he wants to play like LeBron James. Unfortunately, that is not his name so it doesn't work quite as well.

10:23: Kuksis gets that 'ole shooters roll. Olmos answers with the ugliest jump hook I've ever seen. That's the Rosie O'Donnell of post moves right there.

Samer Ocho Cinco: Kill one fuck one marry one:

Paul Rudd, Jason Bateman, and Nathan Fillion.

A. Who do you think I am? John Amaechi?

Haven't you heard this is a no homo zone. If you're talking with a lisp then your cover's blown.

9:20: Pendergraph is a monster man. Olmos is quite terrified.

8:00: Harden's 0/6 with 2 points in his first tourney game. You hear that? That's his draft stock splattering into a million pieces.

6:49: Temple's actually playing well, down by 3. Dionte Christmas' soul has been taken over by Michael Jordan. MJ has nothing better to do.

"It's starting to look a lot like Christmas" -PBP guy

Someone needs to tase that fool.

6:26: This game has started to heat up. The PBP guy just said, after a Christmas foul, "That'll be a Christmas gift, Jimmy." Who do you think you are, Candace Parker Sec-

never mind.

5:23: Unfortunately, there have been no goofy white man backflip dunks. I am slightly saddened by this. But we still have time. Maybe Olmos can make some Sportscenter magic. Also, Harden still hasn't made a field goal. He's turned into Bo Outlaw.

4:00: Harden makes a three. This is not a good sign for the Owls. SLAMALAMADINGDONG by Ryan Brooks.

Brazil Thrill: Wouldn't this game be a lot cooler if ASU had a white point guard named Jerome Kwanzaa?

A. Very much so.

3:20: Arizona State is up by 7. James Harden has finally shot out of the sucky funk he was in. Now let's see if the other cold invidual, Semaj Inge, can make a free throw. Did you know his name is James spelled backwards!!!?!?!?11!!!?!!! On another note, the Philadelphia Inquirer reports that his parents may have thinking problems.

2:33: James Harden is at the line again. He's scored the last 7. He also has a really sweet beard.

2:18: Pendergraph has picked up his 4th foul. Maybe he should tone down the Beast Mode.

1:39: Harden takes a horrendous jump shot that could have come off the fingers of Ben Wallace. Too bad Temple can't rebound. Temple down 5.

58.5: Temple's pissing the game away. CAN YOU FEEL THE EXCITEMENT!?!?!? Harden misses the front end of a one and one. Maybe he has a concussion.

39.7: It's fouling time. Glasser's at the line though, and he sinks both. Temple failed in killing him, by the way. Temple can't make a layup, ASU ball.

27.1: Temple's down by 7 with little time remaining. Say good bye to Christmas, Owls fans. That is not a pun, I swear.

24.8: This game's almost over why not watch some youtube videos?

Thank you Coolhwhip for the vids.

FINAL: Arizona State University defeats the Temple Owls 66-57 and another 6 seed has prevailed over an upstart 11. The Dionte Christmas era for Temple University is over. Next up for ASU is a 3-6 matchup with the Syracuse Orange. This is Shakey for Deadspin Sports signing off. I love you all.

Remember to check out The Rookies. We don't bite.

Oh yeah, I also have to answer Piniellas Pinata's question.

Piniellas Pinata: Question: How many bukkakke videos did you have to make with Sussman to get this live-blog?

A. It's a 2 year contract with an option for a third year. 2 videos a month.

Bye folks.

2) Baseball U Arizona State has sent 34 players to the NBA, including Byron Scott, Lafayette Lever and the impeccable Eddie House. (No relation to the TV doctor.) But that's not nearly as impressive as their baseball program, which has the third-highest number of Major League alumni of any school. Their progeny include Hall of Famer Reggie Jackson, should be Hall of Famer Barry Bonds, Bob Horner, Dustin Pedroia, Fernando Vina, Hubie Brooks, Paul Lo Duca, Sal Bando, and living legend Oddibe McDowell.

3) Lil' Devils Coach Herb Sendek left the basketball wasteland of the ACC in 2006 to come turn around the lackluster Sun Devil program. They finished dead last in the Pac-10 his first year, but two seasons later they're all the way up to third, knocked off regular season champ Washington in the conference tournament and hope to make it past the first weekend in the NCAAs for the first time in over a decade. They are probably also hoping that it won't be another 10 years before the get back, thanks to a nice youth movement in Tempe. The team has only one senior (forward Jeff Pendergraph) and if sophomore James Harden doesn't get any ideas and bolt for the draft, they'll have the reigning Pac-10 Player of the Year next season. — Dashiell

TEMPLE OWLS

1) Dionte Christmas ain't bad The 6'5" senior averaged 19+ points for the third straight year. Though he shot an Iverson-esque 41% from field goal range, his ability to make it rain from deep and put the team on his 205 pound frame in crucial situations is the sole reason Temple has won back to back A-10 tourneys. The back to back A-10 Tournament's Most Outstanding Player's skills were best showcased during a ridiculous 35 point output in December against then ranked #8 Tennessee when he displayed his penchant for explosive games. The only way Temple can be successful in this tournament is if Christmas brings his A-game. Notice that I did not include any holiday puns.

2) Fran Dunphy: Miracle Worker After a disastrous ending to John Chaney's storied Temple coaching career, the future of the organization was put into the hands of 10 time Ivy League title winner Fran Dunphy in 2006. He responded by leading the Owls to consecutive NCAA tourney bids for the first time since the 2000-2001 squads led by Chaney.

3) Defense Defense Defense Unfortunately, Temple just doesn't have enough offensive weapons. After Christmas, the only legitimate offensive player is 2nd year power forward Lavoy Allen or third year guard Ryan Brooks, who both averaged around 10 points per game. The defense will be the key to success. The Owl defense really came alive during the A-10 tournament, holding opponents to under 65 points a game and forcing a powerful Xavier squad into 34.5% shooting from the field including only 2 field goals in the final 7 minutes of the game in a 55-53 nailbiter. They limited the Musketeers to their lowest point total of the season. If Temple can play defense at the level they did against Xavier, they have a legitimate shot at reaching the Sweet 16. — Shakey

Join the Deadspin Pants Party Group Pool [ESPN]
Download the Deadspin Bracket [PDF or JPG]

It probably seemed like I was picking on them a lot at the beginning of the season, but they kind of deserved it. Their coach left in a completely bizarre and slightly unprofessional way, his number one assistant turned down the job of running the team, his ex-wife started threatening people, and unsigned recruits started bolting left and right. Then they lost the second game of the season in a comically inept fashion. Things did not look good. But since then, they've rattled off six wins in seven games and knocked off No. 4 Gonzaga on Sunday. So bully for them! [Rivals/Yahoo]

They are currently at 7-2 with both losses coming by exactly one point. Not bad for a moving trainwreck. (It does help that they've only played one true road game, but maybe that's just what the doctor ordered.) Their next two are at UNLV and Kansas at home, so that will tell us a lot more, but putting up a respectable non-conference record and knocking off a top five team is a good start to keeping that tournament appearance streak alive—and maybe winning back some of those recruits.

Earlier on that same court, No. 20 Arizona State had to go to overtime to stop IUPUI, which I believe is a Dragonball Z character. The Wildcats draw Gonzaga, but the Sun Devils get IUPUI? That's quite a doubleheader showcase. [Rivals/Yahoo]

If I know my Pac-10 women's volleyball players, and I do, then no way is that the only bottle of the night. It's the ASU girls, and from the looks of it, they're in the team room. Preparing for a game, no doubt.

OK, although this photo is undated, it's probably fairly recent. So let's match some faces with some names.

ASU Volleyball Sure Knows How To Party [Don Chavez]

Carpenter was at Marcos de Niza High in Tempe on Tuesday to watch a game featuring his girlfriend's sister, and even though the atmosphere doesn't quite match a Pac-10 football game, he and his friends did the best they could to liven things up with a little playful heckling of the referees. It was all good clean fun, until the lead official stopped the game and asked his whole section to leave.

Except between the ejection and the exit doors, multiple sources say Rudy got a little belligerent, a little salty with his language. The scene prompted school officials to call the police (the situation was resolved before the patrol sergeant arrived), and it left some witnesses shaking their heads.

Carpenter vehemently claimed he was an innocent bystander, but would not comment further for the record. He said he was tired of defending himself.

I can see how that would be exhausting. Do you know how much energy it takes to get yourself thrown out of a girl's basketball game?

Bickley: Ejection adds to Rudy's saga [AZ Republic]

This is not the first time that George W. Bush has been photographed in close proximity to the offensive gesture. Staff Sgt. Earl Granville of Carbondale, Pennsylvania, also made the rounds in this picture with his Commander in Chief. It seemed a tad inappropriate, but Granville also lost his leg in Afghanistan so everyone was willing to let it slide.

But this conspiracy goes far beyond our military or even the Oval Office. Arizona State is actively encouraging people to photograph themselves and others advocating for unannounced entry into the dark heart of America.

Just how far are they willing to go?

Oh no. Not the Sonic cup.

Or perhaps our brave President is doing something even more subversive than anyone imagined? Perhaps this is actually a coded message to his citizens that he is willing to defy these evil solar Devils and stand up to their dastardly pitchfork throwing ways? Yes, that's right ... W. is a Wichita State fan ...

President Bush Welcomes 2008 NCAA Sports Champions to the White House [WhiteHouse.gov]
Show your pride in ASU properly! [ASU]
Sundevilsareeverywhere [Flickr]
ASU for real [Pac 10 Poon]
Ravages of war won’t slow pair of area vets [Scranton Times]

2. Tucson Raiders. Wait, why are we talking about the NCAA Tournament? WE BEAT U OF A TWICE. Let that sink in for a second. Twice. Do you really think we care about the NCAA Tournament? We care about the Wildcats not making the tournament. Since domestic disputes aren't (always) funny, we won't make fun of Lute Olson, but without Lute, the university's got nothing to hang its hat on. And don't yell "Jennie Finch!" There are a dozen Jennie Finches in every class at ASU, and for that matter, three Amanda Beards and one Jake Plummer. The Snake's no fool.

3. Harden fast. Fast 'N Hard. No wait — the first one. From ASU '07 Grant Joiner's lips to your eyes, I present to you the 2007-2008 Arizona Sun Devils offense: "So it'll be the end of the game, and James Harden will have the ball. He'll dribble. Then he'll drive a little bit and get double-teamed. Then he'll get triple-teamed. Then he'll stop and shoot it over three guys and it will go in. That's it. That's all they ever do." Rumors persist that a second ASU player — named "Pendergrass," "Pendergraph," or "Pie Graph" — actually exists, which Deadspin associates were working feverishly to confirm at press time. — Bryan Joiner

Apparently, Carpenter, according to the online witnesses (that's the only place people are speaking up), took a bit of an issue with someone mocking his shirt and lost his mind.

Rudy was sitting outside the stadium after the game and one of the students asked him why he wasn't wearing gold. He then started yelling back at him "oh yeah what sport do you play? what sport do you play?" and ended up running down the ramp and chasing after the kid trying to start a fight with him. Rudy continued to challenge him to a fight and repeatedly called him a homosexual.

Again, just some random Internet people, but there are a lot of them, and the stories are popping up all over the place. We are wondering if he really kept calling the guy a "homosexual;" that's a lot of syllables to pronounce when you're really pissed off like that.

ASU QB Shouts Gay Slurs While Wearing Hot Pink Shirt [Bland Life]

Our favorite part of the incident is that Jessie, with a straight face, seemed to think that reporters should be talking more about the otherwise dull bowl game than his ridiculous play. Not likely.

"It was definitely not real comfortable at the time,' " Jessie acknowledged after the game. "But the guys came out and played a great game. That's all that matters. It (attention) shouldn't be focused on this."

We also enjoy that he, in fact, didn't touch the ball. It's one thing to instinctively reach for a live fumble. It's another thing to try, and miss. Video of the "play" can be found here.

Yes, we do like us some Chris Jessie.

But hey, it's not all about basketball. The men of ASU are busy with important scientific research, and have little time for your "games."

With Every Pac-10 Loss [Yahoo! Sports]
ASU Helps Create Real Face Of George Washington [Arizona Republic]
Arizona State Sees Upset Bid Slip Away [ASU Athletics]
The Face Behind The Mascot [ASU Athletics]

In a classic "Duh" moment, the Arizona State-Texas Tech women's basketball game, played outdoors at Chase Field in late December, was rained out with four minutes left. That picture is a grounds crew putting a tarp on a basketball court, which is just a beautiful image, like watching an April baseball game when it's snowing.

The real question, and we don't have an answer to this yet, is whether or not they initially tried to play through the rain, or if they pulled the tarp out at the first sprinkle. We love the idea of people falling down all over themselves, pulling ankles left and right, before finally someone said, "All right, this probably just isn't a drizzle." Suck it up, people; it's just a little rain.

Arizona State Women Are Getting Wet [The Big Picture]

The one we've chosen up there, comparing repulsive porn star Ron Jeremy to the Arizona State Sun Devils' mascot, is our favorite, but we also enjoyed Sam Elliot-as-Mississippi-Rebel, Mexican-president-Vicente-Fox-as-Oklahoma-State-Cowboy and, memorably, James-Lipton-as-Fighting-Irish.

It's an excellent idea, well executed. Expect to see it on Colin Cowherd's show ... oh ... right about now.

Logo Rorschach Test [The M Zone]
Bustin' Mad Lit Crit Speak: Longhorns Metaphor [EDSBS]