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Posts Tagged “

Atlanta Falcons

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what an icehole

1st Round, Third Overall: Falcons Select Matty Ice


The Falcons wish to remain anonymous. After a year of dog torturing and climb-out-the bathroom-window coach quitting, the team would like to return to the quiet old days when David Archer was the quarterback and the average crowd rivaled the turnout on the Asia reunion tour. They hired someone named Mike Smith as head coach because no one named John Doe was qualified for the job. With Michael Vick, D'Angelo Hall, Alge Crumpler and Warrick Dunn all gone, the team had to decide who belonged on the cover of the media guide: Keith Brooking or Funky Winkerbean.
More »

3:22 PM on Sat Apr 26 2008
By mike tanier
1,751 views, 30 comments

Latest by josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance for you: @Da_Mang: No. In that case, he'd be John-David Booty. more »

ron mexico

Ron Mexico's Prison Pen Pal

Considering how much Falcons owner Arthur Blank stuck by Ron Mexico for years, before that dog-fighting business, it should perhaps be little surprise that he's still corresponding with Vick while he's in the slammer. How's he doing, anyway? Has he organized a team to beat the prison guards yet? More »

5:40 PM on Thu Apr 3 2008
By Leitch
5,965 views, 35 comments

now lt will get hurt

Michael Turner Is Free To Be Mediocre

Erstwhile Chargers running back Michael Turner, best known to fantasy players as the guy you picked up in a late round in hopes that LaDainian Tomlinson would get injured (BUT NNNOOOOOO HE HAD TO WAIT FOR THE PLAYOFFS FOR THAT), got on the 6-year-deal train which seems so popular this off-season and is now heading to the Falcons. More »

11:15 AM on Mon Mar 3 2008
By Christmas Ape
4,459 views, 49 comments

lawyer milloy

Lawyer Milloy Is A Demon With The Red Pen

New Arkansas coach Bobby Petrino wrote this nice little letter to his team after bolting on them in the middle of the season. (Wisely, but still.) Falcons cornerback Lawyer Milloy was eager to add his own addendum. More »

4:40 PM on Thu Dec 13 2007
By Leitch
10,034 views, 66 comments

bobby petrino

Bobby Petrino Ends Up A Smashing Success In Atlanta

Ah, the halcyon days of January 7, 2007. Bobby Petrino was coming off a thrilling year as coach of Louisville, and he was seen as an offensive mastermind. He was Steve Spurrier, except, you know, he didn't mind working hard either. And then, very quickly, it all imploded. More »

10:40 AM on Wed Dec 12 2007
By Leitch
8,295 views, 91 comments

ron mexico

Why Vick's Gonna Be In The Slammer So Long

We remember Ron Mexico's contrite, emotional press conference from August, when he nearly broke down and talked about his love for the Lord. We found it an impressive confession. His initial confession was a bit less graceful. More »

11:10 AM on Tue Dec 11 2007
By Leitch
9,996 views, 63 comments

monday night football

Tonight's Episode Of The Vick Bowl

Under normal circumstances, this would be what we'd call a "dull" Monday Night Football game, the Saints at the Falcons. In the wake of the Ron Mexico business today, it is upgraded/downgraded to "insufferable." More »

6:45 PM on Mon Dec 10 2007
By Leitch
7,884 views, 434 comments

bad coaches tree

Spiraling Down The Coaching Abyss

We remember, a few years ago, when Roy Williams (the coach, not the pizza delivery boy) left Kansas to coach North Carolina. That led to a cascade of coaching changes, with Bill Self at Kansas, Bruce Weber at Illinois and Chris Lowery at Southern Illinois. Four quality coaches, four quality programs. But it doesn't always turn out that way. More »

4:10 PM on Mon Oct 22 2007
By Leitch
7,074 views, 26 comments

monday night football

A Nice Night For A Boring MNF Game

We have to thank ESPN today. It's an awfully active sports night tonight, with two League Championship games, including one that could secure one half of the World Series, and, just to make matters easier, they've provided us with an incredibly dull Monday Night game. More »

5:10 PM on Mon Oct 15 2007
By Leitch
3,997 views, 37 comments

ron mexico

Man, Tough Break For That Vick Guy

Yes, yes, we know that Ron Mexico tortured and electrocuted puppies, we know that he's probably not the best person and we know he's gonna spend some serious time in prison. He pretty much deserves whatever's coming to him. But ... we dunno .... is it really fair that the Falcons can now recoup $19.97 million from him? More »

11:40 AM on Wed Oct 10 2007
By Leitch
5,885 views, 44 comments

crazy falcon

The Mascots Are Attacking The Cheerleaders


We're not sure what possessed Freddie Falcon to smash a birthday cake into the face of an Atlanta Falcons cheerleader ... but we don't get the impression she was particularly happy about it.

5:10 PM on Thu Oct 4 2007
By Leitch
5,298 views, 51 comments

ron mexico

ESPN's Disastrous "Town Hall Meeting"

We didn't watch ESPN's timely Michael Vick Town Hall Meeting last night, but from just about every account, it was a total disaster. The audience was so partisan for Vick — which, to be fair, is the opposite of what you typically see — that anyone who so much as pointed out that Vick confessed to electrocuting puppies was shouted down. Even the slightly pro-Vick people on the panel seemed embarrassed; ESPN itself admitted this morning that many "were lured more by the prospect of getting some face time on the live broadcast rather than their feelings about the Vick case." More »

11:40 AM on Wed Sep 26 2007
By Leitch
18,606 views, 145 comments

Latest by LostinTheOffice: most gifted athlete Atlanta's ever seen Umm Mutumbo, 'Nique, Deion, Glavine...any of this ringing a bell? Jeff George maybe?!? more »

"There are rumors that (the Falcons' DeAngelo) Hall was beaten up by one or more teammates in the locker room after the game. One reader described the rumored incident as a 'Code Red.' " [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

29 comments

N.C. authorities have found a possible link between a dog breeder found shot to death in April and Vick's "Bad Newz Kennels." [Washington Post]

2 comments

slow guy throwing

Welcome Back, Byron

Byron Leftwich, here showcasing his vaunted scrambling ability, has signed a two-year deal with the Atlanta Falcons. It seems like a logical destination, though we hope it doesn't affect Joey Harrington's performance having a guy breathing down his neck. You don't want to mess with a beautiful thing like Joey Harrington. More »

4:00 PM on Wed Sep 19 2007
By Leitch
4,120 views, 63 comments

nfl division previews

It's The NFC South Pants Party


To the NFC South! We don't want to speak out of turn here, but we think the NFC South might be our least favorite division in football. There's the Saints — that's Kenny Chesney in that picture, of course — and then ... ugh. More »

4:00 PM on Wed Sep 5 2007
By Leitch
3,819 views, 62 comments

ron mexico

Just How Into God Is Michael Vick?

Plenty of discussion yesterday on Michael Vick's apology following his guilty plea for that whole dogfighting business. Frankly, we were a little taken aback by Vick's press conference; as SI.com put it, it was "among the most apologetic remarks ever heard by a professional athlete." We had been expecting some sort of talking out of the side of Vick's mouth. But that's not what happened. He took full responsibility, blaming only himself. It is perhaps a level of fans' cynicism that we were all so surprised. More »

3:00 PM on Tue Aug 28 2007
By Leitch
9,520 views, 129 comments

Latest by HockeyMountain: strike 2 more »

bird attack!

The Birds Are Murdering Our Children


In the background of ESPN's preseason game last night, as Chris Mortensen — not "Steve Berman" — warbled on about Michael Vick, the Atlanta Falcons mascot went on a murderous rampage against Pop Warner league kid players. Seriously: Somebody put a body on that bird.

2:20 PM on Tue Aug 28 2007
By Leitch
5,148 views, 57 comments