It happened at the Rallye de Serrians in France, the car is a Renault, and the driver's nuts got very toasty at the end, and that's all I know. There's also some mention in the post about rev limiter abuse ... no idea what that means. Those wacky french. Skip ahead to the 2:00 mark in the video below for the silliness.

Determination, Or Darwin? [Axis Of Oversteer]
Crazy Rally Driver [Jacqui's Sports Blog]

ABC ditched its NASCAR coverage for "America's Funniest Home Videos" with 34 laps left in Sunday's race. That's right, Johnson's seventh win of the season was interrupted by cats running into walls, dancing brides falling and children inflicting unintentional pain on adults. "I knew we were in trouble when I looked at the monitor and saw a monkey scratching its butt," one team member said after Johnson's victory.

OK, most viewers could still catch the end by switching over to ESPN2, so it wasn't that big a debacle. But why the Auto Interruptus in the first place? What was so important about this particular episode of America's Funniest Home Videos? It must have included the never-before-seen footage of the guy getting hit in the nuts.

Yeah I know, it's all about the TV sponsors. ABC can pull the switch when it wants to; it's in their contract. It's still amusing, though, to abruptly go from the dramatic final laps of a NASCAR race to a matronly woman slipping and falling at a wedding.

Meanwhile, reaction on all this seems to be mixed.

ABC's Decision To Leave Race Puzzles NASCAR [USA Today]

George Helms loved NASCAR racing, but at 6-feet-5 inches and 400 pounds, he couldn't fit into a race car. When the 54-year-old died from a heart attack Dec. 28, his friends decided to help make his dream of participating in a NASCAR race come true. They did more than just take the Talent man's ashes to the Las Vegas Motor Speedway last week. Mara Brodeur of Medford approached race car driver Mike Harmon and asked him to drive Big George's ashes around the track. Harmon taped the urn to the fire extinguisher of his Nationwide Series car during the practice session Friday. Besides getting Harmon to take the urn for a spin, Helms' friends spread some of his ashes on the Las Vegas speedway. The rest will be returned to his mother.

However, as we see on the blog Bright and Early, this story is much better when combined with the Carl Edwards penalty story.

One For The Road [Medford Mail Tribune]
Track Mixup [Bright And Early]
Is That Big George Or Just Some Speedy Dry On The Track? [HolyCoast]

With his wife, two children and new addition to the family Ed, the Australian Shepherd pup, on board, Schumacher proceeded to put pedal to metal. Famously, German autobahns have no blanket speed limits, so the driver was able to put the cab through its paces. Although he was driving an Opel Vivaro, a minivan-style vehicle which has a top speed of 163km (101 miles) per hour, Schumacher managed to get the most out of it, according to the cabbie. "He drove at full throttle around the corners and overtook in some unbelievable places," said a white-knuckled Mr Yilmaz.

Sure, it's all fun and high adventure until LaRussa is late for a flight.

Michael Schumacher Drives Taxi In Airport Dash [Telegraph.com.uk]

Roger Karr Jr.'s first wheels were a Chevy El Camino. In fact, he's driven nothing but Chevys ever since So it seemed only fitting that he named his first-born son after his favorite brand of car, with the name of his favorite NASCAR driver — Dale Earnhardt Jr. — thrown in for good measure. Chevy Dale Karr arrived at Brandon Regional Hospital on June 13.

The good news is that this kid is surely destined to snap from the taunting no later than second grade; while he's still too young to do any real damage.

Actually I'm a little more concerned about a baby born the next day at the same hospital ... named Alexavier Love Ledesma. Hey, I think we've found the next Harry Potter villain!

Parents Name Baby Chevy Dale Karr [Tampa Tribune]
Births [Tampa Tribune]

Witness Garett Moore said he was about to walk across the highway, thinking the show was over, when he saw the dragster racing toward him. He was about 15 feet from the wreck but was uninjured.

"It ain't really safe to do anything with drag cars on a city street," Moore said.

Selmer Police Chief Neal Burks said "bodies were flying into the air when it happened."

"I saw body parts flying everywhere," said witness Sean Hood.

It was a charity event held by Cars for Kids, which raises $200,000 each year for children's charities. The founder formed the charity in 1990 after his son suffered a severe head injury, and he vowed that if his son was saved, he'd spend the rest of his life raising money for disabled children.

I feel sick. Condolences to all involved.

'Burnout' mishap turns tragic in Tennessee [ESPN]
Seven Spectators Killed at Car Show [FOX 6]

Apologies to race fans, but I'm really only interested if a female wins (three are in the field, Danica Patrick, Milka Duno, and Sarah Fisher), and even then I'll probably just say, "Hey, way to go, lady," and go on about my day. The highlight for me was Peyton Manning waving the green flag to start the race, after which some track announcer guy said, "Bless our drivers and Peyton." Especially Peyton.

There's been rain in the forecast, and there's still a chance that we'll see some showers before this thing is over. Well, you might see them. I probably won't be watching. But feel free to tell me all about it in the comments.

Indy 500 race gets a big weather break [IndyStar]

"Sorry to say it was self-inflicted," Tracy told the Toronto Star. "I was at a party and had a little too much to drink, and we thought it was a good idea to go out on a golf cart and try and jump some sand dunes with it. Like I say, it sounded like a good idea at the time, but it didn't pan out that way."

Alcohol, golf cart don't mix for Champ Car star [MSNBC]

Sheriff's deputies in Bernalillo County, N.M., faced a similar dilemma on Wednesday while trying to corner a carjacking suspect on Unser Street, which was named for the racing family and is adjacent to the Unser family home. During the standoff, Al Unser Sr. and Bobby Unser both showed up and tried to get through the roadblock. According to deputies, the Unsers were told to clear the area, and refused, so they were arrested. Said Bobby Unser:

We were doing zero wrong. Naturally I'm going to get a hold of Sheriff (Darren) White and tell him honestly what happened, not what these crazy idiots that work for him are writing down.

We realize that it was a tense, dangerous situation involving an armed man. But shouldn't the people for whom the street is named get special, like, honorary deputy status? (Police captain lowers bullhorn:) "OK Unser, it's your street, so it's your call. Do we go in?"

Unser Brothers Arrested For Ignoring Deputies [MSNBC]

(UPDATE: The Smoking Gun has the mugshots.)

As for the Jalopnik boys, you can see above their effort to spread the Berman/Leather love. That's the sign right there, behind Lance Armstrong. A valiant attempt, I think you'd have to agree. They did themselves proud this weekend, and their coverage continues. Enjoy it here.

Anyway, as for the race itself, nineteen-year-old Marco Andretti was leading the thing for most of the final lap, and Hornish passed him on the inside at the last possible second. Marco, just a few laps prior, had passed his father Michael to take the lead. American racers finished first, second, and third.

Also, five fans were injured earlier in the race when some debris from a car flew into the stands. Everyone walked away, and thankfully, no one was hurt seriously. I don't know how any sort of car part goes hurling through the air and hits someone in the head and doesn't hurt them, but thankfully, it's possible.

Oh, and for those of you who are curious, Danica Patrick finished 8th.

I Am Indy: Trying To Make Lance With Us, Leather [Jalopnik]

Fan 'all right' after being struck in head by track debris [ESPN.com]

Austin: It actually takes a fair amount of attention to figure out what's going on, because we can't hear the PA play-by-play here in the suite
Wert: What about on those fancy yellow headsets ya got on?
Austin: And the TV here isn't the ABC feed so it doesn't have all the information graphics
Wert: ABC's not with us today, Leather.
Austin: Wheldon: "Get fucking lyundke off the track, he's fucking terrible." At leadst I htink it was Wheldon
Austin: Yeah we're with scanners so we can listen in on all the pit-to-car communications
Austin: So the first series of pit stops has occured, or is occurring. That's when they stop for more gas, Ray
Austin: Now stop talking to me, I'm trying to watch.
Wert: Fair enough — they just brought fried biscuits in and I totally wanna get me some of that!

I encourage you to keep checking in with them. Oh, and the quote in the headline refers to a pit row accident, when Sam Hornish attempted to drive his car with the fuel nozzle still stuck in his car. He drove away, it popped out, a crew guy got covered in fuel and jolted away from the car. And Hornish cost himself a few seconds.

Hey, he tried to pull out too soon. It's sometimes hard to judge. Better too soon than too late, I guess. We'll check back in after the race.

Now, granted, I am very much unfamiliar with NASCAR's rules and traditions and customs. I don't know if this sort of thing is commonplace or not. But apparently, if you aren't good enough to qualify for a particular field, you can just buy someone else's spot. That's what Waltrip has done here.

He finished 47th in the qualifying, which wasn't good enough. He's also not in the top 35 in car owner points, so he wasn't guaranteed a spot. But Derrick Cope was faster than Waltrip in the qualifying, and he got made the field. Waltrip is giving him some money, repainting his car, and taking his spot in the field. How weak is that? Here's Waltrip's explanation:

"You can look at it as, "Michael bought Derrike's ride, but that's not the case. That's not how it worked," Waltrip said. "What happened was we said, "If you would be willing for Michael to drive, we'll sponsor the car and that way you can go to Dover and Pocono and on down the road and have a better chance of success going forward."'

Tell yourself whatever you have to, pal. Congratulations on keeping your streak* intact.

Waltrip buys way into 600 [SportingNews.com]

—-

Mike Austin from Jalopnik here...and let's be honest, I am a bit of what ya'd call a drinker. When midnight rolls around and the wise option of an early evening comes up, I become the king of bad decisions and decide to roll out for a nightcap, which actually means drink until close. Which is 3 am in Indy.

But I still try to maintain some semblance of professionalism, so I will report to you on the Indianapolis bar scene on the night right before the big race. I won't lie to you. It is grim. I did hear reports this evening that the bars near the speedway are both divey and packed, two excellent things that make a bar good. But here in downtown, it is dead. Really dead. I asked bartenders and patrons both, and the general theory seems to be that people partied too hard last night and are kind of serious about watching the race tomorrow. The race starts at 1, so this makes no sense to me, especially since I'm going to be dealing with less than four hours of sleep as of this writing.

Continued after the jump...

There is one lively area of downtown, and if I remember correctly it is called Meridian Street. But honestly, it's not worth the trouble. Last night Team Jalopnik had the fortune of being at a VIP party in the suburbs, and both the VIP and general section had enough scenery to keep us happy. In downtown Indy, things don't look so good. In fact, they probably look worse than our usual Michigan haunts, which is to say it's actually terrible. On top of that, bouncers are still asking $5-6 cover at 1:30 AM and that is a situation that we consider unacceptable. Anywhere without a cover is either closed or dead. So fair warning, if you're in town for the greatest racing spectacle in the world, don't expect a good bar night downtown on the night before the race.

—-

More later. The boys will be liveblogging the race from a corporate tent on the infield, which just has to be a first. Stay tuned...

It's Indy 500 weekend, as I'm sure you're aware. This is a huge event, and I know that because Cold Pizza sent Woody Paige and Skip Bayless there to do the show this week. Not to be outdone, though, our pals at Jalopnik are also live at the speedway. We're going to be leaning heavily on them for coverage of the race, and they seem to be having a hell of a lot of fun.

And in case you aren't familiar with Jalopnik, the above sample and the one below should let you know immediately that they are not only our friends, but people to be respected and admired.

I Am Indy [Jalopnik]

You can enter here. Other suggestions I think you should keep in mind when you figure out how to hack this thing:

• The "Luke Schenscher" 400. Just because.
• The "On This Race, John Daly Will Probably Lose About" 400
• The "Peyton Chesney" 400
• The "Aramis Ramirez is 0 for" 400. He's crippling my fantasy team.

Suddenly, I'm a Huge Nascar Fan [NOOBSports.com]

ESPN Motion actually has video of the crash up right now. It's a segment from SportsCenter, occurring before the seriousness of the injury was known. It begins with Bob Ley reporting a crash and saying that there is concern about a possible serious injury. They even interview the owner of the car, who's still hoping that Dana is going to be alright. The crash itself is horrific, and watching the video is somewhat eerie. I'd imagine it's probably going to come down soon.

Dana was a rookie driver and a former motorsports journalist. Officials have announced that the race will start as scheduled, though Dana's teammates, Danica Patrick and Buddy Rice, have pulled out.

Tragic.

IRL Driver Paul Dana Dies After Crash [Yahoo! News]

Then, in the thirteenth stage, a 10-year-old Guinean boy was killed after being hit by one of the cars in the competition.

And yesterday, in the fourteenth stage, a 12-year-old boy was killed in Senegal after being hit by a support truck.

The race ends tomorrow, thank the fucking stars. I think I speak for all of us here at Deadspin when I say that we're against car races that kill people at about the same rate as Total Recall. If any of you out there are planning on attending the final stages of the Dakar Rally, be sure to take the appropriate precautions, like staying home and playing Scrabble instead.

So we're tempted to give him the benefit of the doubt on his recent comments about Indy racing star-of-the-moment Danica Patrick. When asked about Patrick — whom F1 is rumored to be pursuing for their tour — he said, "You know I've got one of those wonderful ideas ... women should be dressed in white like all the other domestic appliances." Now, we just assume this is a joke, because if your domestic appliances are anything like ours, they're mostly green, brown and some strange dark tint of orange.

Ecclestone is also under fire for the disaster at the United States Grand Prix this weekend. We don't know him well enough to be sure he'll be able to take the heat, but anybody who can get away with saying the following — which he told a journalist in February 2000 when previously asked about women in racing — seems like to be able to hang on for a long time.

"She would have to be a woman who was blowing away the boys. ... What I would really like to see happen is to find the right girl, perhaps a black girl with super looks, preferably Jewish or Muslim, who speaks Spanish."

We're told he was kidding then too. We hope.

F1 CEO Compares Women To "Domestic Appliances" [AP]
Bewildered F1 Fans Want Restitution [AP]

But they might be climbing an impassable hill with their newest crusade: Black-ing Up Nascar. The site calls for more black race car drivers. Yeah. Good one. For their next cause, they should try to get more straight women to play softball. (Props to Oddjack.com for that joke.)

Black Box [BlackAthlete.net]
Solomon Takes Over For Anderson [MLB.com]

Dollars For Danica [Orlando Sentinel]

Well, you can now add the Indy 500 champ to the list of idiots. (Scroll of idiots? We like Scroll of Idiots.) Dan Wheldon said yesterday that he sees Patrick's inherent advantage and thinks eventually Indy Car will do something about it. But what will that be? Have a minimum weight requirement? Will Danica have to gorge on Ho-Ho's in the hours before racetime? Does the dispute about her weight "advantage" have more to do with the cover of Sports Illustrated she made for finishing fourth? One thinks that perhaps Wheldon, Gordon and company should worry less about Patrick and more about, oh, losing tht beer gut.

Whedon Says Danica Had Unfair Advantage [New York Post]

Danica Patrick FHM Photos [Indy Motor Speedway]

Anyway, Danica won Rookie of the Year honors at the Indy Car Awards last night — they have such things, apparently — alongside Paul Hospenthal, her (much taller) fiancee. Our "marriage expert" friends at About.com have the intimate details of their relationship, including their wedding date (November 19; it doesn't mention where they're registered).

Danica and Paul: Celebrity Relationships [About.com]
Danica Wins Rookie of the Year [Motorsport.com]
Indy 500 Wrapup [Fast Machines]

In the old days, when the Speedway opened up, it meant many, many things. Not just the opening of the Speedway, but it was the official end of winter and the beginning of warm weather and the smell of freshly cut lawns. It was all pretty heady. You only had another month of school and summer was coming and you'd go to the Speedway.

So you had all this tremendous activity wrapped up with these high-spirited emotions, and then you got to see the world's attention on your town for a month. For a kid, it was very exciting, and we used to go out there for practice and qualifying and listen to the race on the radio. It was like any other big holiday on the calendar.

In other news, Jay Leno might do another wrestling promotion.

Letterman Gets Moment In Hot Seat [USA Today]
Late Show With David Letterman [CBS.com]

Staring Role, No Pole (ESPN.com)