Yes, fans, on Monday Baseball Tonight will begin airing music videos from nine different bands playing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" in an American Idol-like competition in which viewers will be able to vote for their favorite each week, finally crowning a champion on July 13.

ESPN has a monster line-up vying for this title including REO Speedwagon, some people named "The Cab", Gretchen Wilson (not from Wilson Phillips), Ozomatil, and — hold onto your Dad's tattered flannel — Candlebox.

Congratulations, ESPN. You've just made one of your most entertaining shows unwatchable for three weeks. I'd rather watch Fernando Vina and Chris Singleton play "Aqualung" on Karl Ravetch's bare ass every day for a year, than watch any of this competition for 30 seconds.

">Introducing Baseball Tonight's" Battle Of The Bands" [Awful Announcing]

The Slanch Report caught Orestes Destrade getting a little distracted during the replay of the Phillies-Brewers contest on Thursday's Baseball Tonight. The objet du distraction: Jayson Werth's mother,.

Destrade goes onto to describe her as "young looking" between fapping noises and hoping Werth hits more homers so they can keep cutting away to his mom.

According to Werth's wikipedia page his mom, Kim, was quite the athlete in her day, participating in the Olympic trials for the 100 meter and the long jump. Also, her father and uncle were both Major Leaguers, Werth's birth father was a minor leaguer and her current husband, Dennis Werth, played 3 years of big league ball, so she's a baseball gal through and through.

Well, that's settles it. Destrade need only draw coverage for the next Cougar Track Meet and forget about all this unnecessary baseball stuff.

Boggs is one of several Hall of Famers who will be guesting on "Baseball Tonight" throughout the season. As much as we look forward to Ozzie Smith's appearance, we do hope they invite Jim Rice, just to be mean.

The highlight of Boggs appearance was the pleasant reminder of just weird Boggs was. The guy knew exactly how many balls he'd lined foul into the right field stands. The level of obsession it requires to be a professional athlete is terrifying sometimes.

Boggs On "Baseball Tonight" [The Sports Hernia]

Now, he's basically trolling around Tampa, willing to talk to horny ladies like the one seen above while making odd hand gestures.

But this Sunday, he'll be back talking about baseball. On April 13, he'll appear on Baseball Tonight as a guest analyst, part of an ongoing "Hall of Fame" series.

For some reason, Wade just doesn't seem like he'll be up to the task at hand; the years of torment, boozing and horn-dogging have completely zapped him of the ability to articulate anything above twiddling his fingers, answering yes or no questions or belching. (Ed. Note: We know the feeling.)

Hopefully, he'll be wearing that shirt during the broadcast.

Baseball Tonight To Feature Hall of Fame Analysts [Awful Announcing]

(Photo courtesy of Local Hotties)

After watching this Steve Phillips gimmick segment on "Baseball Tonight" last night, we await, with much dread, the attack of the Steve Phillips clone army.

Hey, it's cheaper than actually replacing Harold Reynolds.

But it's still surprising to see John Kruk step up and admit it.

You may or may not have caught John Kruk's act on Baseball Tonight last week. In a Q/A session with the other hosts, Kruk answered "the Pirates" when asked "who will be leading the NL Central at the end of the month?" Whatever, just another ESPN guy trying to look smart if it actually comes true. Big deal, right? Wrong. A couple days later, Kruky was on "The D-List" radio show here in Madison to discuss his pick. Kruk admitted that he really wanted to pick Milwaukee as his answer. Apparently, the ESPN brass tried to stiff arm him into saying he thought the Yankees would be leading the AL East by June. Kruk refused, so they made him make one bold selection, thus the Pirates pick. And this was all admitted on the radio by Kruk!

Expect a memo, Mr. Kruk; your dissemination of unauthorized opinion and retelling of fact-based events will be noted in your personnel file.

ESPN Is A Fraud [Chuckie Hacks]

HR: (sarcastically) "I'm picking the best pitcher. He's got 30 straight saves. He blew two in the beginning of the year against the Boston Red Sox. I'm talking about Mariano Rivera of the New York Yankees. His stuff is electric. He's back throwing like no one else in the league right now, and because of him, they're riding this guy all the way to the postseason once again, and to me, he deserves to win a Cy Young."

KR: "Would you ever consider a closer like Gagne a couple years ago?"

JK: "No."

KR: (very dismissively) "No, 'cause they don't win."

JK: "No, because they don't —"

KR: "He's on a winning team, he does answer that."

JK: "Because they don't start. Starters should win the award. They have an award for relievers."

KR: (pauses, then, visibly upset) "Rolaids."

JK: "That's right. I need one."

Fire Joe Morgan [Blogspot]

Nope. It appears to be Derek Jeter. Kirk ... JUN calls Jeter "the face of baseball," saying that he's the most popular and honorable player in the game. Whatever your thoughts on Jeter, you can at least understand Kirk ... JUN's argument, until the end, when he starts to weird us out a bit.

Jeter has a nice face, a rugged face, a handsome face ...

We were wondering why Kirk ... JUN had been talking about the Blue Jays so much lately.

Face The Facts [ESPN.com]