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mlb closer

The Placement Of That Pitch Has Vexed Me, Sir. Now We Shall Wrestle


It's not really a classic baseball brawl until a tubby Don Zimmer is thrown to the turf, but this'll do. It happened on Thursday at Safeco Field: After the Rangers' Kason Gabbard tossed a fourth-inning delivery at the Mariners' Richie Sexson at face level, Sexson charged the mound and clocked Gabbard with his batting helmet. Benches emptied, and a pileup occurred near the mound. Then, as you've seen countless times in Zorro movies, Sexson crawled out from underneath the pile as everyone else continued fighting above. Here's the video. More »

10:40 AM on Fri May 9 2008
By rickchand
8,516 views, 75 comments

Latest by ReggieDunlop: @Rbastid: An unknown Seattle pitcher hit an unknown Texas batter int he previous inning. I say unknown because it doesn't really matter with these two teams. And I live in Seattle. more »

minor enterprise

Gamecock And Blowie, Together At Last


Of course you all know the University of South Carolina Gamecock, pictured at left. But you may not be familiar with Blowie, the mascot of the Columbia Blowfish of the Coastal Plain League (the only costumed mascot who is deadly poisonous if not properly cooked). I'm not sure of the circumstances which brought them together, so all I can assume is that it was a part of God's great plan. Gamecock and Blowie were meant to be together; it's not unnatural or disgusting at all. Oh come on, look at the photo, it won't bite. Stop being such a baby! Just try it this one time. More »

1:35 PM on Thu May 8 2008
By rickchand
3,790 views, 48 comments

Latest by SeaSalt: All that blowfish needs to start a band is a non-threatening black lead singer...hmmm... ideas? more »

mlb closer

Look Who's Back, Giants' Fans!

Now back in your starting lineup, sporting an 0-7 record and a 6.95 ERA, only the third starting pitcher since 1956 to go 0-6 before May ... Barry Zito. Thank you. It was a good spot for Giants' manager Bruce Bochy to bring Zito back from the bullpen. Wednesday's opponent was the Pirates, featuring the pitching stylings of Phil Dumatrait, who came into the game with an 0-5 record in 17 career appearances. Surely Zito could win under those conditions. Pirates 3, Giants 1. Sigh. More »

10:40 AM on Thu May 8 2008
By rickchand
4,849 views, 67 comments

Latest by garbageday: Decent outing aside, the Giants should start paying Zito in Wesley Snipes' $12 million dollar "bills of exchange" or that currency from "Street Fighter" that's emblazoned with the dictator's face. more »

purple prose

Learn The Lesson Of Henri Cochet

Slate's Robert Weintraub, like many of us, loves the old purple prose of early 1900s sportswriting, the Grantland Rices, the men who painted epic tales of warriors, grizzled combatants and lardywarks too manly to wear gloves. In an occasional series, Weintraub writes about the week's best baseball game in the style of the vaunted sportswriters of yesteryear. This week: The Twins' comeback win over the Tigers.

One would think the legions of scribblers who emptied out of the press section after a mere half dozen tallies in the top of the initial innings would know better. Surely, they had learned the lesson of Henri Cochet, and would never assume a result, regardless of score. Granted, it was the Sabbath, and Lord knows home and hearth are more important on the Day of Rest than mere sport. But those that departed should consider themselves accursed — they missed a famous rally by the Minnesotans, who pulled themselves from a six-run hole to stun gun the Motor City Tigers, 7-6.

More »

4:30 PM on Wed May 7 2008
By robert weintraub
3,000 views, 87 comments

cool papa bell approves

MLB To 'Draft' Negro League Veterans; Mets To Overpay The Pitchers As Usual

Whenever Dave Winfield and Bud Selig come together to cook up an idea, you know it's going to be good. Reportedly it was the two of them who came up with this one: a ceremonial draft of Negro League veterans by all of the Major League teams, to be held next month. Expect the Nationals to actually insert one or two of their picks into the starting lineup. More »

11:40 AM on Wed May 7 2008
By rickchand
5,323 views, 102 comments

get the tiny handcuffs, lou

Baby's First Breathalyzer Exam: Priceless

One of the reasons I don't attend many minor league baseball games in Tennessee: All the drunken babies. It's the Chattanooga Lookouts' popular Half Price Beer Night For Babies promotion, in which anyone two or younger can get completely hammered under the close supervision of team mascot Looie the Lookout (foreground). Suddenly Britney Spears doesn't look like such a bad parent, eh? If you like your babies with starter Mohawks and raucously intoxicated, then enjoy more in the video after the jump. More »

10:00 AM on Wed May 7 2008
By rickchand
9,400 views, 70 comments

Latest by lilwillie: Every parent has had a picture with the kid and a beer in his hand. The key is to teach them to go to the fridge and pull the right one out when you need another. "Hey boy, dad needs another more »

In Brief

Perfect Game


One of John Challis' final wishes was to get to bat in a high school baseball game. Challis, an 18-year-old senior at Freedom High School in Pennsylvania, is dying of cancer. Doctors say he might have as little as two months to live. But on April 14 he got his wish; getting an at-bat in a league game. And despite barely being able to run due to the effects of the disease, Challis got a single, and made it to first. Opposing players all take off their gloves and give him an ovation. And if that little story lifted your spirits in any way; made you a little less cynical or cranky or worn, well, he'll take it. More »

5:30 PM on Tue May 6 2008
By rickchand
10,588 views, 52 comments

Latest by Nacho Friendly: the wrong kid died!!! more »

kerry wood

Ten Years Since Wood's Amazing Game

We love reminders of just how old we really are. Newsweek informed us that it has been 10 years since "Seinfeld" went off the hair air, which is just jaw-dropping, when you think about it. But that's nothing like Friends Of The Program's revelation: It has been 10 years since Kerry Wood's 20-strikeout game against the Astros. More »

3:00 PM on Tue May 6 2008
By Leitch
8,013 views, 103 comments

alex rodriguez would not like to cut the cord

Even A-Rod's Wife Questions Her Husband's Masculinity


It's tough for most of us to watch those "Miracle of Life" shows where they give you the full access to what it's really like to watch someone have a baby. After viewing it, you soon realize that even the most gruesome horror movies showing a screeching alien ejecting itself out of a person's stomach are, in fact, less gory than an actual child birth. Alex Rodriguez knows this. And according to Yankees blogger and beat writer Peter Abraham, Alex Rodriguez fears this. And thanks to this transcript from tomorrow night's "YESterdays" show on the YES network featuring A-Rod, we find out that, according to Cynthia Rodriguez, the Yankees third baseman acts just like many people would probably suspect. Let the emasculation party begin: More »

1:36 PM on Tue May 6 2008
By DAULERIO
36,994 views, 71 comments

Latest by tamoko: @Admore: LOL! more »

mlb closer

Dice-K Takes That Sniffling, Sneezing, Aching, Coughing, Stuffy-head, Fever, So-You-Can-Still-Beat-The-Tigers Medicine

Yeah, well don't get too smug, Tigers' fans. Considering that you started the season 0-7, and you couldn't beat a wildly off-target Daisuke Matsuzaka on Monday, losing 6-3 — your fourth straight loss — I wouldn't be mocking the Lions too loudly. It may not be long before your fans are wearing paper bags on their heads. But I kid Tigers' fans. Um, Fire Millen? More »

10:40 AM on Tue May 6 2008
By rickchand
4,283 views, 55 comments

it all ends

Yankees-Red Sox Rivalry Jumps Shark, Lands In Madness

Sometime in the not-so-distant future, when all the oil and electricity is gone, global warming takes a firm hold and mankind is left to fend for itself in a feral state, I would expect scenes such as the following to occur with frequency. But not yet. For the love of God, not yet. As you might have read, on Saturday a woman plowed into a group of Red Sox fans with her car, killing one, reportedly because she was being taunted for being a Yankees' fan. More »

10:00 AM on Tue May 6 2008
By rickchand
9,058 views, 112 comments

Latest by RachelRayIsTheDevil: @StartingAces: +2 more »

who's sorry now?

Who's Sorry Now? Rocket Edition

Nowhere in the recorded history of regret has there been a more hang-dog expression than this. Hasn't Roger Clemens suffered enough? Just look at him. The round head that reminds you of the boulder that chased Indiana Jones. The pale skin that reminds you of the moon. The furrowed brow where he keeps extra folding money. On Sunday Clemens came hat in hand to the Houston Chronicle and apologized ... for what I have no idea. More »

5:01 PM on Mon May 5 2008
By rickchand
8,676 views, 92 comments

miguel tejada

Miguel Tejada Homers For The Sick Kids

We know that Miguel Tejada is supposed to be Public Enemy Number Uno these days — "E-60" certainly thinks so — but he had his Superhero moment this weekend, hitting a home run he'd promised to a kid with muscular dystrophy. More »

3:00 PM on Mon May 5 2008
By Leitch
3,859 views, 57 comments

roger clemens' act of contrition

Roger Clemens Is Sorry For Everything, Some Things, And Nothing

Last week was another rough one for once-destined Hall of Fame pitcher Roger Clemens, as the New York Daily News trotted out a harem of women with whom he'd allegedly had some steamy relations with, much to the chagrin of his HGH-injecting wife and many Texas political figures. More »

12:35 PM on Mon May 5 2008
By DAULERIO
14,363 views, 61 comments

cubs cards

Cubs-Cardinals: First Place In May Is On The Line!

Forgive us a little bit of that "favoritism" that so brands the blog world such a dangerous place ... but we're pretty freaking excited about the Cubs-Cardinals series this weekend. More »

6:00 PM on Fri May 2 2008
By Leitch
2,657 views, 28 comments

marching to peoria

Cubs Preparing For When Ryne Sandberg Becomes Their Manager

When the day finally comes that Lou Piniella explodes like Port Chicago — oh, and he will — who will step in for the Cubs? How about Ryne Sandberg? The Hall of Famer, now manager of the Class A Peoria Chiefs, will try out the manager's chair when he returns to Wrigley Field on July 29; his team taking on the Kane County Cougars in a Midwest League game. It's believed to be the first minor league game ever to be played at Wrigley. More »

4:15 PM on Fri May 2 2008
By rickchand
2,677 views, 49 comments

Latest by Rick Chandler: @J-No: You've got me all wrong. In fact, that's me stuck in the outfield screen. more »

minor enterprise

On May 15, The Fresno Grizzlies Will Sweep The Leg


Time once again for Minor Enterprise, a celebration of God's gift of Minor League baseball promotions, mascots and fans. Also, The View's Joy Behar dishes celebrity gossip.

We do not train to be merciful here. Mercy is for the weak. A man confronts you, he is the enemy. An enemy deserves no mercy. What do we study here? THE WAY OF THE FIST, SIR. And what is that way? STRIKE FIRST. STRIKE HARD. NO MERCY, SIR. And when the Fresno Grizzlies stage a promotion, they also take no prisoners. Thursday, May 15 is Totally Rad '80s Night at Chukchansi Park, where the honored guest will be Cobra Kai karate dojo bad boy Johnny Lawrence. Yes, Daniel-san's nemesis, in person. Not for the meek!

More »

1:35 PM on Thu May 1 2008
By rickchand
7,552 views, 63 comments

mlb closer

Cliff Notes: Indians Say There's No Place Like Home


Cliff Lee and Progressive Field were both winners on Wednesday; although after the game one went out and celebrated, and the other spent the night covered with a tarp. Cleveland's stadium took the top spot in the Sports Illustrated fan survey for best Major League ballpark, and inspired by his home yard's impressive win — or perhaps just hopped up on caffeine — Lee went out and won his fifth straight start, 8-3 over the Mariners. Poor Seattle; their stadium only finished sixth. More »

10:40 AM on Thu May 1 2008
By rickchand
3,413 views, 61 comments

Latest by Juancho: @formerly Chief Wahoo: The stadium/field, yes. The restrooms, no. I still have nightmares about trough urinals. That shit ain't right! more »