1." Did they block the Lions game out again?" (I say I have no idea that I'm from Nashville and just landed in Michigan.) "Oh well, it doesn't matter. Fuck the Lions. I'd rather watch whoever else is playing anyway."

2." The Lions are up 17-0? Damn. Wonder how long it will take them to lose that lead?"

3. "Do you care if we change the channel for just a sec. to see what they're saying about the auto bailout?"

4. "You're from Tennessee? I wish Rodriguez would move to Tennessee and die."

5. "Did you know Ford had to buy the Thanksgiving game tickets this year because no one was buying them? They're selling them to employees for $30 each. I heard no one is buying them even though that's less than half what they actually cost. Boy, when I was a kid that Thanksgiving game was the best."

So be thankful you aren't a sports fan from Michigan. And if you are a sports fan from Michigan? Yeah, sorry, you're screwed. On to the college football round-up.

Oklahoma toasted Texas Tech. Just one day after I announced I had a crush on Mike Leach. This game was kind of like going for a piss, opening the bathroom door, and seeing your crush ski-poling two random guys she met at a fraternity party. Even still, in the great "Will it be, Leach, Brian Kelly, or Lane Kiffin as the next UT coach-debate?", I'm with Leach.

Also, Brent Musberger attempting to pronounce Beyonce's name during the promos for the American Music Awards should put an end to the old-announcers attempt to read promos business. Just put it on the screen. Also, was I the only person who thought that while he discussed the Beyonce mispronunciation Herbstreit was thinking, "I could bang Beyonce if I wanted to." It was the subtext of the entire conversation.

Finally, granted Texas Tech got destroyed, but all they need is an Oklahoma loss on the road at Oklahoma State and they win the tiebreak over Texas head to the Big 12 Title Game. Win that and wouldn't it be hard to put Texas in above them in the BCS Title Game?

Washington State wins in overtime over Washington. The only thing better than a game between two teams who have combined for one win? An overtime game that ends with one team missing a short field goal and the other team making one.

Penn State contributed to the continued collapse of Michigan's self-esteem by beating the only decent team in the state. We've spent enough time on this. Congrats to Penn State on their first Rose Bowl in 14 years. Condolences on Joe Pa announcing he's returning for a 44th season. Meanwhile, Michigan was destroyed by Ohio State to put a merciful end to their season. The Terrelle Pryor Rich Rod picture will never die.

Charlie Weis is a genius! Did anyone else see the snowballs that someone threw right after the missed field goal at the end of Notre Dame's loss to Syracuse? Was this supposed to be a celebratory snowball? Because somehow that snowball bursting open when it landed on the field was the perfect metaphor for the Weis era at Notre Dame. Well, okay, not as good of a metaphor as Weis getting wrecked on the sideline against Michigan, but close.

Also, how many more years does NBC Sports have to pretend they still have a sports department by showing Notre Dame games? Remember back when NBC Sports had the NBA and the NFL? Doesn't that seem like it never happened now? I know NBC has Sunday Night Football, but there's something about their sports coverage that seems wistful for 1988. Even down to the dark, Seinfeld-esque color schemes in their telecasts. Not as wistful as Notre Dame fans are for 1988 or in believing that Urban Meyer will leave Florida to come be their coach, but close.

Tennessee beat Vanderbilt despite passing for only 22 yards. We didn't complete a pass in the entire first half. Four different people played quarterback for Tennessee. Only one of them completed a pass (unless you count Jonathan Crompton's interception on his only pass attempt). There's no existing film from UT's games back in the 1930's. Now, at least I have an idea what the offense would have looked like in person.

Oregon State is a win over Oregon away from their first Rose Bowl since 1965. Lucky for the Rose Bowl that game would be a rematch. This is perfect. Anyone who favors a college football playoff should root for the Rose Bowl to get screwed every year. The bastards think their single game is more important than the rest of college football. Enjoy.

Maryland controlled their own destiny in the and got waxed by Florida State; Miami had the Atlantic Division wrapped up and got destroyed as well. Now I think Boston College controls their own fate. So if they beat Maryland, they're in. But if they lose Florida State is in. So at least there's some finality there. Same with Virginia Tech, win and they're in. Swell, a rematch between two teams that were better last year. To see who gets waxed by another team in the BCS.

Cincinnati and Brian Kelly are headed to the BCS provided they can get the win over Syracuse. Did anyone else think Erin Andrews was slamming the Cincinnati fans every time she did a sideline report. At least twice she pointed out that the fans weren't excited enough. I think this was her revenge for being sent to a night game in Cincinnati in November.

Utah beat BYU and is now 12-0. They're up to number 6 in the BCS standings. What's the route to the BCS Title Game for Utah? I'll tell you. Alabama loses to Auburn, Florida loses to Florida State then beats Alabama in the SEC Title Game. Oklahoma loses to Oklahoma State, Texas Tech loses to Baylor, and Texas loses to Missouri in the Big 12 Title Game. Then, I think, Utah would play USC for the BCS Championship. See, Ute fans, the BCS is an infallible and fair system. You've got a shot too!

Someone has to win the Big East. We know this. There's a BCS spot at stake. But with miles to go before we sleep only Syracuse at 0-3 has completely eliminated themselves from contention. Fans of the other 7 teams in the conference (all 14 of you) can still lay awake at night and dream about the riches and glory that could be yours if only your team could string together a few wins and snag the coveted prize. Tonight the Big East's only ranked team in the Coaches' Poll, South Florida, tries to become the only team in the Big East not named Syracuse to have three conference losses, and Cincinnati tries to avoid adding on their second consecutive conference loss. Yep, like 7th grade girls competing to avoid being the slut of the pre-algebra classroom, it's a battle not to suck.

Cincinnati is 5-2. Prior to getting trounced 40-16 by UConn last week their only loss was at Oklahoma. Now they have to beat South Florida to avoid dropping to 1-2 in conference. Which would be bad. What's worse than this? The next two games are on the road at West Virginia and at Louisiville. So, really, Cincinnati is probably already eliminated from Big East contention. But that's okay. Because their final game of the season, on December 6, is at Hawaii. Which is awesome for the team but will kill their bowl crowd. If you have a choice between following Cincinnati to Hawaii in early December or to Birmingham's PapaJohn's Bowl in late December which are you choosing?

Cincinnati's starting quarterback, Tony Pike, is also tougher than you. Not that there was really any doubt after you pulled yourself from an intramural flag football game with turf toe, but still, it's important to establish these things. Pike started last week's game against UConn and played with a broken left (non-throwing) arm. He was pulled from the game after he lost feeling in the broken arm. Jesus.

On the other side of the field South Florida is trying to avoid another Big East collapse. (Perhaps Jim Leavitt can recruit Jenn Sterger to provide the necessary support to the team since she attended USF for two years before transferring to FSU.) After being ranked as high as #10 in the country, the Bulls have lost 2 of 3 conference games. Losing at home on Thursday night to Pitt and on the road to Louisville. It's a battle for the Big East ages, and who are you kidding, you'll be watching. Unless College Invasion 12 just arrived in your mailbox too. Then? Screw college football.

Now Syracuse's AD has responded to The Sporting News' questions about the error.

Syracuse athletic director Daryl Gross said. The sculptor simply made a mistake.

"Easy fix," Gross said in an e-mail today. "The sculptor is on it and will make it perfect."

Good thing, because he also messed up the helmet. It should only have one bar. Also, there's a swoosh on the jersey as well. Raising this question, what is going right with Syracuse football? I'm not asking for much just...something.

Ernie Davis honored the right way, as if he had an endorsement deal [Troy Nunes is an absolute magician]

'Cuse AD: Swooshes on Ernie Davis statue a mistake [The Sporting Blog]

We're rolling through the Top 25 and getting ever closer to kickoff. Just one week from today. John Radcliff brings the West Virginia preview. John blogs about West Virginia at Mountain Lair and writes for FanHouse.

Strengths

Guns and Moonshine are plentiful, and the mountains create a natural barrier against invaders. Oh, football strengths? Guns and Moonshine are plentiful, and that gives opposing fans and teams an uneasy feeling from the moment they enter the state until the moment they leave. We’re $4 million richer! Most of the dead weight is gone from last years coaching staff, but we really wish we could have kept Barwis. You laugh, but Mr. Rogers accepted a modest salary to ensure a significant upgrade at every assistant coaching position. He may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but he’s smart enough to know he’s not the brains of the operation. And he’s smart enough to know that bubble screens = fail. Something DickRod couldn’t wrap his rather large noggin around. And yeah, Pat White, Noel Devine, most of the receiving corps, and the five starting offensive linemen return. We also have a linebacker named John Holmes that is rather skilled at plugging holes. And South Florida comes to Morgantown in December this year, where it will be cold and miserable and they will not have a snowball’s chance in hell of winning.

Weaknesses

Whiskey, ATV’s, MILF’s, and 28 point spreads. Sadly, Owen Schmitt has left the building. Instead of retiring his number, we retired the fullback position. Seriously, we’ve gone to the H-back. Because after him, what’s the point? Also lost to graduation were 4 of our 5 starting defensive backs. Receiver Darius Reynaud and Defensive End Johnny Dingle left early so they could go undrafted and shine on someone’s practice squad for a couple years until the truth sets in. Why this matters to you? No more Dingle-Berry pictures. So if you want a weakness for this year’s team, it will be the defense.

Rivalry

Among older Mountaineer fans the saying goes, “Penn St. sucks, but Pitt swallows.” Sadly, Penn St. isn’t on the schedule anymore. You can point at the heated series that has developed between West Virginia and Louisville, or the fact that South Florida is the only Big East team with a winning record against the Mountaineers since the new Big East took shape. But neither of those are a drop in the bucket compared to the ocean of hate we have for Pitt. In a sense, Penn St. leaving for the Big 11 10 helped make this rivalry what it is today. Without an instate rival, both Pitt and West Virginia are free to direct their hatred at each other 365 days a year (yes Marshall, you suck so bad you can only be mentioned in parentheses). The leader of the hate squad for West Virginia always has been and always will be the Voice of the Mountaineer and the Pittsburg Steelers, Jack Fleming. You hear his voice every time you see a video of the Immaculate Reception. Like most West Virginia fans, Fleming was brought up to hate Pitt.

"Jack Fleming's house was above the old stadium," Cook continued. "He told me, when he was a child, Pitt would come out on the field, and he would sit on his mother's lap. His mother would point down at them. And his mother would say, 'Son, that's Pitt. You hate Pitt now. You hate Pitt tomorrow. You hate Pitt until the day you die. After that, you will hate Pitt for eternity.' "

As for Pitt, I don’t know and I don’t care. He’s from Pitt and he swallows. That’s all you really need to know.

And by “go to college” I mean commit felonies. Well, Mike Detellier has broken down NFL starters by their college conference. And while there is no big surprise, the SEC leads with 137 projected starters, there are some really surprising positional breakdowns. Coming in second after the SEC? Shockingly, BCS whipping boy, the ACC with 121. Followed by the Big Ten with 105, Big 12 with 72, Pac 10 with 70 and the mighty Big East clocked in with a robust 33. Yeah, but Ray Rice is awesome (and not starting)!

For the record, the entire Big East had fewer NFL starters than Tennessee and Georgia (a combined 39).

Which speedy conference has the most starting wide receivers? The plodding Big Ten of course with 13. Interestingly the SEC most outclasses the collegiate competition at defensive end with 17 NFL starters. But pass rushing in college is overrated. Don’t believe me? Ask Troy Smith.

What conferences are the NFL starters coming from? [HoumaToday]

Here's a direct link to listen to the audio (.mp3).

I've listened to it about four times all the way through, and in my opinion, it just keeps getting better and better. The exchange between the moderator and "Rufus" absolutely kills me.

Members of the Kidd Chris radio program on WYSP-FM 94.1 in Philadelphia claim to be behind both of the pranks. Well done, gentlemen.

Prank Callers Terrorize Big East Coaches (w/ Audio!) [The Big Lead]
Telepranksters Hit the Big East [D.C. Sports Bog]
The Kidd Chris Show [94WYSP]
Hey, At Least SOMEONE Was Calling In [Deadspin]

• 1. Hold The Pickles Hold The Harris ... Syracuse freshman Paul Harris was selected by Big East coaches as Preseason Rookie of the Year. Harris, however was snubbed when the McDonald's High School All-American game committee removed him from that team. Morgan Wooten, selection committee chairman, said that he removed Harris from the team because he took five years to graduate from high school (Notre Dame Prep). Prior participants Gerald Green and JR Smith were not barred from the game even though they took five years to complete high school. Wooten then announced that "if someone is a felon, we don't want that type of person as a McDonald's High School All American," referring to Harris' drug arrest that occurred four years ago. — (Thanks to P. Whiteford).

• 2. Levon Also Sells Cartoon Balloons In Town. Big East preseason player of the year Aaron Gray is the anchor of Pitt's offense, but his teammate, Levon Kendall, may be the most underrated player in the conference. It also just so happens that Kendall enjoys piano, cliff diving, meditation, racing mountain bikes, and whitewater rafting. — (Thanks to D. O'Neil).

• 3. And Thabeet Goes On. UConn freshman Hasheem Thabeet was ruled eligible by the NCAA clearinghouse after weeks of analyzing his transcript. Louisville, Georgia Tech and Texas A&M all felt that he would not be eligible and stopped recruiting him. Given his blocks numbers in the first two exhibition games, it looks as though coach Jim Calhoun has scored a major recruiting coup. — (Thanks to Ian Bethune)

• 4. Please Pass The Biscuits, King Of Kings. St. Johns senior guard Daryll Hill is a cousin of Lamar Odom of the Los Angeles Lakers. If Hill could have dinner with any three people in the history of the world, his choices would be "Mark Jackson, Jesus and David Stern."

• 5. Hoyas Stand Pat. Junior forward Patrick Ewing (yes, the son of that Patrick Ewing) started off at Indiana, but transferred to Georgetown last year, where he had to sit out a season due to college transfer rules. He is 6-foot-8 and averaged 3.4 points and 3.7 rebounds in two seasons with the Hoosiers.

Tomorrow: Conference USA