Harvey Pollack was so lucky. He is the longtime director of statistical information for the Philadelphia '76ers, who is still on the job after all these years. He even worked all six games of the NCAA tournament at the Wachovia Center this weekend. Anyway, he is apparently friends with the Big Redhead, who took time out from his busy Grateful Dead touring schedule (Jerry's spirit is always playing somewhere, am I right, man?) to leave a ridiculously long birthday message on Pollack's answering machine.

"Happy birthday, happy birthday. Harvey, this Bill Walton just in case you thought it might have been Neil Young or Tony Bennett or Barry Manilow or someone else. But I just wanted to call and wish you the happiest of birthdays and just say thanks for everything, Harvey. You make our lives so wonderful, so full, so complete. And you are such an intergalactic treasure. I cannot believe it's gone so fast - 87 years young. Oh. My. Gosh. .... Thanks for not only making a difference, Harvey, thanks for making the difference . . . in all of our lives. Where on earth would we be without Harvey Pollack? Happy birthday to you.

"You're the absolute greatest. We could never thank you enough. Thank you, thank you, thank you ....."

And it goes on like this. You should listen to the whole thing here, but I suggest turning down the lights first and getting real mellow, man.

A surreal birthday message [Philadelphia Inquirer]

And I'm not sure what greatest sportscaster list would have Bill Walton included in the top 40, unless one was going by height. Oh wait, he's on the ASA board. OK. Anyway, Vin Scully was voted No. 1, and he just found out about it, so it must be fairly recent. Right? What the voting criteria was is a mystery, and play-by-play guys seem to be mixed in with color analysts, and Terry Bradshaw (honorable mention!). Plus, gratuitous Joe Morgan.

From Tom Hoffarth at the Los Angeles Daily News:

The Dodgers finally caught wind of this list and sent out a press release Monday afternoon. As for Vin Scully being named No. 1, he emailed to us: "The sportscasters' vote is news to me. I never voted but I am humbled to be in front of Mel Allen, Red Barber and Curt Gowdy. The longevity part must have been the decider."

Dick Enberg, who made the top 10 and is also the Chairman of the Board for ASA, also emailed back before heading out to Melbourne to cover the Australia Open tennis championships starting next week on ESPN: "Frankly, there's plenty of room for argument, which is common with any of the suspect 'Best of All-Time' lists. It never helps your chances if deceased. (Check: Husing, Brickhouse, Dunphy, Stern, and of course, Chick Hearn.) With the exception of yours truly, the top 10 is pretty solid."

There's nothing at all about this on the ASA web site. All in all, a very odd endeavor.

And Marv Albert is on the Advisory Board. Oh good.

The Whole Top 50 ASA list, From Scully To Collins And Beyond [Farther Off The Wall]
Scully No. 1, This Is News? [Farther Off The Wall]

We feel like Walton lost a little bit of pathos when he stopped broadcasting Clippers games; that added some emotional heft, some angst, that might not be there anymore. We're surprised how well he plays with Stephen A. Smith sometimes; they're testaments to volume control, that's for sure.

And yes: He's the only person left on earth who still likes the Grateful Dead. We don't think the Grateful Dead like the Grateful Dead anymore.

So: Do you like the Bill Walton? Do you not like the Bill Walton? Throw it down!

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Here's Will Ferrell playing Bill Walton in a game of horse ... a sentence I never thought I'd ever type. As Dogs That Chase Cars says, Ferrell actually shoots the rock pretty damn well. And Walton looks at home in that uniform, doesn't he? (Sarcasm: The anti-drug).

Meanwhile, in an interview with the Chicago Tribune, Ferrell says that he is not obsessed with making sports-themed movies. But we know better.

Will Ferrell Actually Shoots The Rock Pretty Damn Well [Dogs That Chase Cars]
Basket Case [Chicago Tribune]

One of my favorite parts in Walton's "review":

However, Leitch's book also brings to light the most despicable thing I have heard in a decade: The firing of my close friend Harold Reynolds for alleged sexual harassment. I have not seen Harold at the daily chess club in ESPN's Bristol cafeteria in about a year, but I had NO IDEA he'd been fired. This is terrible, easily the most nefarious thing I have ever heard. Harold is a gentle, compassionate man filled with the noble qualities you'd hope to instill in your son or pet chinchilla.

Side note: I know that photo of Walton reading is Photoshopped, because the actual book is much thicker. I have a copy right here on my desk, lovingly signed by Will himself. See below.

Ballhype Spotlight Series Bibliotech [Ballhype]

There's nothing at all scandalous about it... it's not like they caught Bill texting Stuart Scott to organize a late night booty call. But chances are, I'm going to go the entire month of February without running into a 50-year-old 7-footer who's too drunk to respond to verbal cues.

The fact that he's alone is the interesting thing about it to me. How does the beloved elder Walton end up all alone in Vegas? Anyone want to take a stab at that? My guess is he had some sort of a minor falling out with his son Luke after Luke said something to him like, "No, dad, I'm sorry, but it's not appropriate to take 'shrooms into a Blue Man Group performance."

Bill Walton Takes a Stroll on the Strip [The 700 Level]

• A Curious Guy-esque conversation with Kim Jong-Il. [Manute's Webb]

• Oooooh. The NFL is considering making some out-of-market games available live on the Internet next year. [Washington Post]

• Bill Walton thinks Kobe Bryant is going to score 100 points in a game... sometime within the next month. Of course, he'd have probably said the same thing if someone asked him if Kobe could score 1,000. [The Sports Frog]

• "The rich white guy in this campain is Lynn Swann." That's... well, you just can't say that. [The Wizard of Odds]

• The Mighty Ducks of Anaheim are slightly modifying their name. Sadly, the "Anaheim Ducks of Los Angeles and Surrounding Southern California Trendy Spots" was rejected. [World Chumps]

The chat itself is behind the furry Roman wall of ESPN Insider, but here are some highlight Walton tidbits of THC.

• "My lovely typer and I are sitting in the conference room in the building of ESPN.com and never have i felt more comfortable, never have i felt more relaxed. I walked in the room to find a gigantic gong and I feel more at home right now than ever."
• "I watched the entire array of games last night on the tens of TVs in the warroom. I realized i have to get home and re-do my home entertainment system at Club Red."
• "We have been overwhelmed here at ESPN.com with the interest in Ron Artest. The gammut of emotions scan the entire spectrum from 'We gotta have this guy' to 'Theres no way I would buy a ticket to see this guy,' to 'Larry Bird is reallly a hick from french lick for wanting to get rid of this incredible guy.'
• "Some of the Knicks recent victories have been accomplished against the sisters of mercy and aided by the kindness excuse me BLINDNESS of the referees. Please check out my new site ilovetherefs.org."

So much to work with here, but we'll just start with this perfectly legitimate question: The gong. Is there really a gong in the ESPN.com chat room? (A gigantic gong, at that.) Did Walton imagine it? Or is Fred Smoot sitting right next to him, and Walton just mistyped?

Chat with Bill Walton [ESPN]