boxing
If you're still stepping into the boxing ring at 46 years old, something has gone horribly wrong in your life. Sometimes it means you're not talented enough to allow you to retire to a life of afternoon mimosas and luxurious silk shirts. Other times you stay in this long for a pure love of boxing, which means you're mentally unstable. For Evander Holyfield, who is taking on hairy Russian giant Nikolai Valuev for a heavyweight title next month, it's because he's in a boatload of financial trouble.
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Boxing
... Anybody Want A Peanut? Of course Andre the Giant comes to mind when we find out that Evander Holyfield, age 46, has an agreement to fight 7-foot-2 Russian WBA heavyweight champion Nikolai Valuev, on December 20th in Zurich, Switzerland. But I draw more of a comparison to Hulk Hogan in Rocky III. "To all my love slaves out there: Thunderlips is here. In the flesh, baby. The ultimate male versus the ultimate meatball! Ha ha ha." There goes Holyfield over the turnbuckle!
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boxing
Joe Calzaghe fluttered Roy Jones, Jr. with a million love taps and
took a unanimous decision at MSG over the man who seemed to have married into the Pound-for-Pound-Champion clan in the late 90s as it seemed to become his surname. That divorce is final as Calzaghe, 36, recovered from a bit of a surprise knockdown in the first to poke Jones, 39, into Bolivian (though we're partial to the
Haitian divorce, ourselves). After the shakeup in the first round that sent Calzaghe to the mat, Jones didn't have much to do in the fight but bleed in one place. That 37th birthday is a bitch, we guess.
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Boxing
Apologies to Joe Calzaghe, the man opposing Jones tonight, who just happens to be lightweight champion of the world. In tonight's matchup, Calzaghe chases down the big bag of money that the cachet of Jones still brings into the ring. For Jones, he'll get another shot at a title. Tonight's fight is on HBO PPV, which sounds kinda redundant at first, but then you realize...no, it's still redundant.
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Boxing
British welterweight Peter Buckley gets knocked down, but he gets up again, and they ain't never gonna keep him down. At least not until after his next fight, the 300th of his career, which he says will be his last. That's an impressive number of professional bouts, but not nearly as impressive as his won-loss record:
43-256, including 88 consecutive defeats. He's like the Lou Gehrig of getting punched in the face.
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The Fix Is In
There's nothing quite like a good ol' fashioned boxing fix, especially when it's
extremely obvious. There's something almost pure about how it simultaneously deceives and yet has the balls to not even care if anyone notices. Last night's fight in Montreal between Canadian Lucian Bute and Mexican-American Librado Andrade for the IBF super middleweight title featured such a moment of brilliance.
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Boxing
Did you ever play that game where you tried to figure out how old you would have to be before you could finally take your dad? High school was too soon, because he had the insurmountable "man strength" intangible. You figured your first real shot would come in your mid-to-late 20s, when you would be in your athletic "prime", and the old man, well into his forties, would be settling nicely into a beer gut and extended periods of sitting on his ass while driving in his newly purchased convertible. Well, those of you with designs on taking a run at pa this upcoming holiday season might want to hold off a bit - those quadragenerians are tougher than they used to be.
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boxing
The sport of boxing is in the spotlight tonight with Kelly Pavlik, the emerging darling of the mainstream sports media and middleweight champion of the world, facing the legendary Bernard Hopkins in Atlantic City. No titles are on the line because the men are fighting at a catch weight of 170 pounds, but that does little to take away from what promises to be a huge night in the ring.
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boxing
Are your knuckles sore from punching people in the face for 25-30 minutes at a time? Well, current WBC heavyweight champion Vitali Klitschko knows a thing or two about that, and he's used every trick there is to try and reduce the swelling of bruised and busted hands. But now he's finally found the secret and is ready to share this miracle cure with you. It's simple: just wrap your swollen hands in
diapers soaked in your child's urine.
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