Remember last year, when Chad Ochocinco lined up outside a Kentucky Best Buy on Black Friday to land his copy of Rock Band 2? He was at it again this year, hitting a Best Buy, a furniture store, and a dollar store (which probably can't mark prices down that much, even on the day after Thanksgiving).

Ochocinco's rich. He could hire someone to go to the store at 2:30 in the morning, which is when this shot was taken. But then he never would have discovered the wonders of the Snuggie for himself. Yes, the Snuggie, the wearable blanket beloved by Midwestern housewives and Brooklyn hipsters alive.

And if you're worried about him losing sleep shopping in advance of today's intra-Ohio showdown, don't be: there's no one on the Browns who can cover him as well as the Snuggie can.

Look At This Snuggie, Only $5.00 [Twitpic]

•••••

It's Sunday. I'll have your athlete dong for you momentarily.

In a letter to Ochocinco, Ray Anderson, the No Fun League's executive vice president of football operations, stated that "[t]he very appearance of impropriety is not acceptable. Your conduct was unprofessional and unbecoming an NFL Player."

Fair enough. But no matter which side of the argument you find yourself on whether or not he should have been fined, you have to give Ochocinco some credit for creativity. Still, Bengals head coach Marvin Lewis approves of the message the NFL is sending with the fine:

"I think as I told Chad when I heard what occurred, you don't fool with the integrity of the game in the NFL. We're not WWE and so forth. This is a serious game for serious people. He realizes he made a very big error in judgment and is sorry for it. From the league's standpoint, they can't have any copycat deal so they made a pretty firm statement."

The WWE? Is that...is that Chad Ochocinco's music??

Chad Ochocinco fined $20,000 for $1 prank [The Cincinnati Enquirer]

How did they get those coveted seats anyway? Well, it seems that a certain showboating wide receiver purchased them on their behalf. When Chad Ochocinco announced his intention to jump into the Green Bay crowd—a feat others have tried and failed at—three Cincy fans offered to be his welcoming committee. So Chad hooked them up with tickets and, fortunately for him, he picked the right end zone. So yeah, they weren't there by accident. It's like I don't even know what to believe anymore.

By the way, you probably knew this already but the Bengal Backers confirmed that all the Packer fans sitting around them were perfectly lovely and polite toward the interlopers ... except for this dude.

Now that I believe.

Threesome made Bengal's Lambeau leap possible [Milwaukee Journal Sentinel]

Players and coaches are still allowed to use social media networks, but will not be allowed to post updates from 90 minutes before kickoff until after the traditional postgame press conferences. (Please let the media print your banalities first.) So, no "@ the coin toss. should i take tails?" or "@carsonp: I WAS OPEN!" and mercifully, no one pulling a BlackBerry out of their sock in the endzone. Of course, if the penalty is just a fine that may not stop some.

One other tidbit from the article that I was not aware of—referees are forbidden from using social media at all times. I guess it's because no one would want to have to explain to Jeff Triplette that those 5,000 Facebook "friends" only became fans so they could tell him he sucks.

Tweet delete: NFL bans social media in games [ESPN]

The feud began as a war of words between the two parties, only to be escalated when Ochocinco called Berto out through the press.

"So when I get in the ring and knock out (welterweight champ Andre) Berto, and people are like, 'I didn't know Chad could fight,'" he said to us, "I just told you."

Berto, a dynamic young fighter determined to be boxing's next crossover star, saw the comments and fired back with aplomb.

"I'm here to say that when his season is over, which should be before the playoffs start, I'll give him the beating of his life and show him the difference between kicking footballs and getting your ass kicked. By the time I'm done with him, he'll want to change his last name to No Mas!"

Oh yes. This absolutely needs to happen. Just think of the pay per view numbers. Who wouldn't pay $45 to watch the former Mr. Ochocinco alone in the ring with one of the sport's best young fighters. For the sake of argument let's consider the issue of the two men's weight difference.

The welterweight limit is 147 pounds, and the 6'1" Ochocinco is listed at a robust 192. It's worth noting that Paul Williams has held a 147 pound title despite standing at 6'1", although Williams is a bit of a freak. Ochocinco would have to cut out the McDonald's and get in shape for real just to get to down to the light heavyweight division.

Even if Ochocinco did come into the ring with a 25 pound weight advantage I don't think it would be long before Berto put him down for good. For those not familiar with his work, here's a little background.

Ochocinco Planning Boxing Career

Also, they're both in favor of pushing the metaphorical envelope. Ochocinco did CPR on the field. He riverdanced, he Irish jigged and he chickendanced. He was fined by the NFL for asking the league not to fine him. Lest we forget, the guy literally changed his last name, reminding us how batty he is every time he slips on his jersey. Or breathes. Or tweets. And he does a lot of that. Not enough for his own liking, though, which is where @JustinGimelstob comes in.

A true trailblazer, Gimelstob came out of retirement to play in a match yesterday just to tweet-by-proxy throughout. As in the NFL, tweeting mid-match is not exactly polite in professional tennis. But if you're Machiavellian like Gimelstob or Johnson, the ends justify the means:

During his doubles match with partner Jesse Levine, Gimelstob was writing notes for a ball girl to run over to the side of the court — behind the players' chairs — where the intern for fellow American player Sam Querrey was posting them on Gimelstob's Twitter account.

Gimelstob also mouthed a few comments for the intern to post in between points. Most of them were standard play-by-play recaps.

Ah, innovation and progress in tennis, the stodgiest of sports. Who knew that Sam Querrey has an intern?

Justin Gimelstob tweets during doubles match [AP]
EARLIER: Chad Ochocinco Tweets By His Own Rules

The scene: A telephone conference call earlier today with writers in Dallas. Question: Do you think all the Bengals that have been in trouble have resulted in you guys struggling on the field at times? Ocho replies:

"No man, that has nothing to do with it. That has nothing to do with it. Think about this: You remember our '05 season right? Our '05 season we were unbelievable. Our '05 season is the year everybody went to jail and got arrested. That year everybody got in trouble. So maybe the bad was a good thing. It sounds dumb to say, but look at it. We have cleaned house and nobody is getting in trouble anymore, no DUIs, no arrests, now we're getting our a— whopped. Maybe I don't know, maybe I should go out have a drink, get in trouble. I don't know what it is. Our '05 was one of the best years here in history. It was one of those years where there was a lot of distractions."

And back in Cincinnati, the police department has canceled all vacations for the immediate future. Hell, so has the National Guard.

UPDATE: Commenter StanGable has coined a new nickname for him: Swinging Chad. Excellent.

Chad: Good Boys Equal Bad Team? [Cincinnati Inquirer]
Ocho Cinco To Have Cinco Tequilas, Por Favor [The Sporting Blog]

Clearly there is only one way to settle all of this jibber-jabber: a Pentathlon between Owens, Ochocinco, Phelps, Bolt, and Wineberg.

The 400-meter sprint and a swimming discipline of Phelps' choice will be the corner stone events with the remaining three up for debate. I'd suggest the future Olympic sport of pole dancing or perhaps the up-and-coming doobie-rolling competition.

It's unclear what event would give an edge to the NFL stars. Perhaps the linguistic event of Jawing or the Zoolander approved Diva-off.

What do you suggest?

>>Olympic Gold Medalist Challenges Chad Johnson to a Race [FanHouse]

• I love it when Floyd Mayweather Sr. talks. “What can you learn from hitting a pillow? That is what you punch when you’re in a bad mood, not what you hit to prepare for the best fighters. I’ll have two months preparing him and that will be more than enough time to get him ready for Malignaggi and to bust his ass," Floyd Sr. said. “He will pressure Malignaggi but he’ll do it in a smart way.” [Boxing Scene]

• Believe it or not, Stephon Marbury may soon be available. [FanHouse]

• The most delicious pie chart ever. As for its sports association? It kind of looks like Pacman. [FFFFOUND!]