Smoltz's tenure with the Red Sox could not have gone much worse than it did. He gave up 25 runs in his last four starts before Boston pulled the plug, signaling what looked like the end of his career. So St. Louis rolled the dice on him and then quickly solved his pitching difficulties with a revolutionary training technique known as watching him pitch.

Coaches noticed right away his foot was slipping off the pitching rubber, so they told him to stop doing that. Then starter Chris Carpenter noticed that Smoltz was tipping his pitches on the mound. So they told him to not do that either. The result? Five scoreless innings, no walks and nine strikeouts, including seven in a row. Was that so difficult?

In an interview with Dan Patrick today, Smoltz graciously did not blame the Red Sox for his sucking, nor did he point out that the Cardinals are eight games in front of their division while the Red Sox are 7.5 games down in theirs. I'm sure these many things are not related.

John Smoltz says he was tipping his pitches [Dan Patrick]

This was put most aptly by commenter FromKirbyToKG, who wrote a fictional accounting of this game 50 years from now:

"I remember Game 3 of the Aught-Six Series. It was the eighth inning and the Cardinals loaded the bases for Albert Pujols..."
"Did he hit a grad slam, grandpa?"
"No, he hit a foulball off Ivan Rodriguez's thigh. Then Rodriguez let a ball at Albert's feet get by him and So Taguchi scored. Then Zach Miner hit Albert in the thigh with a pitch."
"Whatever, grandpa." (goes back to playing PS25)"

So yeah, it wasn't pretty. It's Game 3 of the World Series, and it doesn't have to be pretty, it just has to be won. (And they can't just blame this on the National League being the "quadruple A" league either ... not that we haven't gotten tired of that yet.) But however we got here, the Cardinals are two games away from winning the World Series. Even if they're batting Ronnie Belliard fifth. Fifth! Ronnie Belliard!

If you're Detroit, it's hardly time to panic. Last night was the one game of the series — save a possible rematch in Game 7 — that the Cardinals had the definitive pitching advantage, and eventually Granderson, Polanco and the testicle-less Ivan Rodriguez are going to get a hit. Though it might, perhaps, behoove them to be prompt. Because it's getting late.

Carp Channels Gibby, Saws Off Tigers' bats [St. Louis Post-Dispatch]

Sometimes we forget that sometimes, all you need, is a dominant No. 1 starter — even one who claims his favorite band is the Dave Matthews Band — and an opposing pitcher with bloodshot eyes who throws 100 mile-per-hour fastballs five feet to the left of an already-running third baseman.

Cardinals win 5-0 and go up in the Series 2-1. Tomorrow, we are in St. Louis. We think it might veer toward the fun. Though it will definitely veer toward the "freezing."

Viva El Birdos

(Getty Images Photo)

It's Game 3 tonight, the first World Series game at the new Busch Stadium, and it's a definitive series-turner. If the Cardinals can win behind Chris Carpenter, they can send The Dominant Machine That Is Jeff Suppan out for Game 4 to take a huge lead. If the Tigers win, they retake control of the series and will have to be overwhelming favorites to close the thing out, perhaps even in St. Louis.

It's Carpenter vs. Nate Robertson, and for the sake of all that is holy, please keep them the hell away from the pine tar stash.

We're not heading to St. Louis until tomorrow, so we'll be watching this in the comfort (and warmth) of our Mattoon home. We encourage everyone to chat along in the comments — look how much fun it is! — and we'll be back postgame to grouse, revel or just pontificate. Enjoy, and we don't just mean the mute button.

Cardinals Fan Of The Week [Joe Sports Fan]