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chris mortensen
Arkansas Weather Patterns Unhappy With ESPN's NFL Reporting
Some scary news from those storms in Arkansas: It appears everyone's favorite NFL scoopster lost his house. More »
nfl
See? Michael Vick Has Never Smoked Pot, Ever!
At last, the pristine and sacred names of Michael Vick and Ron Mexico can be cleared, no longer to be sullied with such filthy innuendo: It turns out that everybody's favorite HSV Type 2 carrier didn't have marijuana with him on a planet last week after all. More »
espn
• 11 a.m. NFL with Chris Mortensen: Any trade rumors today? Keep in mind that ESPN has hired a fact-checker, and he wants to see all your notes.
• 2 p.m. MLB Steroid Investigation: We heard that there was a Dog and Pony Show going on in here, but damned if I see any animals at all.
• 4 p.m. College BB with Steve Lavin: Are you hoping that if you wait long enough, the UCLA job will come around again?
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ...• 11 a.m. NFL with Chris Mortensen: Any trade rumors today? Keep in mind that ESPN has hired a fact-checker, and he wants to see all your notes.
• 2 p.m. MLB Steroid Investigation: We heard that there was a Dog and Pony Show going on in here, but damned if I see any animals at all.
• 4 p.m. College BB with Steve Lavin: Are you hoping that if you wait long enough, the UCLA job will come around again?
espn
• 11 a.m.. NFL with Chris Mortensen: In emergency situations, do pilots of small aircraft have clearance to land on your head?
• 2:30 p.m. Snowboarder Ross Powers: Half pipe. Inverted 180. Gap jump. OK that's it, we're bored — next chatter please.
• 3 p.m. College FB with Beano Cook: The Penn State bandwagon's out of control, we're heading toward a cliff! For God's sake Beano, you have to jump!
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ...• 11 a.m.. NFL with Chris Mortensen: In emergency situations, do pilots of small aircraft have clearance to land on your head?
• 2:30 p.m. Snowboarder Ross Powers: Half pipe. Inverted 180. Gap jump. OK that's it, we're bored — next chatter please.
• 3 p.m. College FB with Beano Cook: The Penn State bandwagon's out of control, we're heading toward a cliff! For God's sake Beano, you have to jump!
espn
• 11 a.m. NFL with Chris Mortensen: OK, does it technically count as a trade rumor if you make it up yourself?
• 1 p.m. NFL Draft expert Mel Kiper: Each year in late April, I dress up a Ken doll to look like you and give it a mock beating. Just so you know.
• 4 p.m. College Hoops with Andy Katz: Forget Duke — how does Newton South High School look this year?
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ...• 11 a.m. NFL with Chris Mortensen: OK, does it technically count as a trade rumor if you make it up yourself?
• 1 p.m. NFL Draft expert Mel Kiper: Each year in late April, I dress up a Ken doll to look like you and give it a mock beating. Just so you know.
• 4 p.m. College Hoops with Andy Katz: Forget Duke — how does Newton South High School look this year?
espn
• 11 a.m. NFL with Chris Mortensen: Our dream is to fight crime as an ESPN Insider. How can we join your elite ranks?
• 1 p.m. FB with Mel Kiper: OK, at this point your credibility is so low you may as well work for FEMA.
• 4 p.m. U.S. Open with Pam Shriver: Just what does "longtime doubles partnership with Martina Navratilova" mean, exactly?
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ...• 11 a.m. NFL with Chris Mortensen: Our dream is to fight crime as an ESPN Insider. How can we join your elite ranks?
• 1 p.m. FB with Mel Kiper: OK, at this point your credibility is so low you may as well work for FEMA.
• 4 p.m. U.S. Open with Pam Shriver: Just what does "longtime doubles partnership with Martina Navratilova" mean, exactly?
espn
· 11 a.m. NFL with Chris Mortensen: I see in the Madden '06 video game that you wander onto the field at one point and are decapitated during a Cleveland blitz. Do you get royalties for that?
· Noon. NFL with Gary Horton: What could we possibly discuss that wasn't covered by Chris Mortensen just an hour ago?
· 3 p.m. Page 2's Soul of Sports: We realize you have to promote your site's pointless features, but even you don't know what this is supposed to be, do you?
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ...· 11 a.m. NFL with Chris Mortensen: I see in the Madden '06 video game that you wander onto the field at one point and are decapitated during a Cleveland blitz. Do you get royalties for that?
· Noon. NFL with Gary Horton: What could we possibly discuss that wasn't covered by Chris Mortensen just an hour ago?
· 3 p.m. Page 2's Soul of Sports: We realize you have to promote your site's pointless features, but even you don't know what this is supposed to be, do you?
