•Danica Patrick has reportedly signed a three-year deal to stay in IRL. Oh goody, instead of seeing her suck in NASCAR, we'll continue to see her suck in open-wheel racing.

•Lamar Odom has canceled his bachelor party blowout in favor of a more intimate affair. Read: he'll be getting a blow jay from a stripper somewhere that's not swarming with paparazzi.

•David Lee signed a one-year deal with the Knicks. The team may think they were successful in preserving cap space for 2010, but Lee is the real winner; he only has to play one more year with New York.

•Jay Glazer goes backstage for Chuck Liddell's "Dancing With The Stars" debut. Want to know what's wrong with America? This show has better ratings than MMA ever will.

•Prospective Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov was called "unpatriotic" by a member of Russia's parliament. I don't know what the fuss is about; there's nothing remotely American about New Jersey.

•Finally, courtesy of Total Pro Sports, we have fishing show host Dave Mercer with a unique ceremonial first pitch. That kind of control could probably get him a job in the AL West.

Dana White, UFC's cueballed, loudmouthed promoter, has also held a negative opinion of Kimbo, but in a phone interview on Friday he said he'd absolutely consider letting Chuck pound on him if Slice got some legit wins.

"If he [Kimbo] fought anybody that mattered, I would book that tomorrow," he said.

White says he knows how much interest would be in that fight, but given Kimbo's weak all-around fighting skills and the fact that he's under contract by EliteXC (a fighting organization which White said, thrives on booking " freak show bouts" ), it would take a little bit of time.

First and foremost, Kimbo has to become a better fighter.

"The fact is, Kimbo's not there yet. He would get destroyed. I heard he just got knocked out by Forrest Griffin last week in a sparring match after a kick to the head, " he said. White said Kimbo's bout with a clearly out-of-shape Tank Abbot last February was proved absolutely nothing.

"Tank Abbott?! I mean, come on. That guy was a bad UFC fighter. A friend of mine said he was out at a bar the week before that fight and he saw Tank there drinking beers. He went up to him and was like 'Aren't you supposed to be fighting Kimbo soon?," White said.

So, for right now, Kimbo Slice vs. Chuck Liddell is a little while away. Slice is scheduled to fight James "Megapunk"Thompson on May 31st on CBS, a bout that will be Kimbo's toughest professional one so far in his short career. If Kimbo takes care of business during that fight and shows some marked improvements, expect the rumors to resurface — and White to reconsider.

"I'd take him [Kimbo] absolutely seriously — but, again, he hasn't beat anybody. In this sport, it's all about 'Who have you beat right now?" And he hasn't beat anbody."

Let's hope Kimbo beats the crap out of Thompson and shows some real skill besides his devastating punching power. Because if Kimbo vs. Liddell actually happened, it would absolutely be the most watched, most hyped, most talked about MMA fight in its short history — even if KImbo gets annihilated in 20 seconds.

We can't possibly thank With Leather enough for digging up this clip of UFC star Chuck Liddell — just hours after his title-belt loss to that Rampaging Jackson fellow — enjoying himself considerably. What's not to love about Chuck Liddell? Nothin'!

Chuck Liddell Is Inconsolable [With Leather]

(UPDATE: That video is dead... but you can see it here. You should probably hurry.)

For the first time since Royce Gracie was wrestling Ken Shamrock, I actually ended up watching part of the UFC shindig last night, including the Rampage Jackson vs. Chuck Liddell main event. It seemed a little anti-climactic to me, but in an event of this nature, with weeks of hype preceding it, maybe that can't be helped. It was 112 seconds of nothing, and then 1 second of Chuck Liddell being punched.

Just so it's not a total loss, here's evidence to back up the commentators' claims that Rampage is the best (and possibly horniest) interview in the UFC.

And for a high-quality liveblog of last night's action, put your mouse here.

UFC 71...A liveblog of punch-based athletics [The Blog of Hilarity]

The Spurs lead the series 2-0 and the first two games haven't left a lot of room for intrigue. Tim Duncan's good, Tony Parker's good, and Manu Ginobili's good ... and the Jazz are good, too, but not quite as good as the Spurs. And that's really all there's been to it thus far.

Also happening tonight: UFC 71, featuring Chuck Liddell vs. Quinton "Rampage" Jackson. I don't know a lot about this Ultimate Fighting business, but I have seen a hell of a lot of Chuck Liddell this week. And I did enjoy this feature on Page 2.

Jazz Hope 'True Blue' Fans Can Rattle Spurs [CBS 11]
This guy scares you? [ESPN Page 2]