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Cleveland Browns

nfl draft

Your Weekend Of Name Recitation And Breathless Speculation Hath Arrived!

Yes, ESPN's draft coverage is underway, four hours before the Dolphins shock the world by picking Jake Long. Now they're saying Chris Long is going to the Rams. Let's tip all the picks hours in advance. No reason to make it so people actually watch the draft. For those who stick around, choose between your drinking game with The Internet Is For Zorn and Bleacher Report. The latter recommends Chad Johnson trade speculation for boozing, but I'm going with Jeremy Shockey and Jason Taylor. More »

i am finished with the signing of the contract conversation

Derek Anderson Leaves Browns For Free Agency, Signs With Browns

I'm picturing the scene from Meet The Parents where a dejected Ben Stiller stands in an empty terminal and must wait his turn to board the airplane, thanks to the by-the-book airline employee who has yet to call his row. "Please step aside, sir." More »

brady quinn strikes back

No, You've Got It All Wrong, Fellas. Brady Quinn LOVES The Gays

Brady Quinn would like to make it clear: He does not hate gay people. Responding to accusations that he hurled gay slurs at a group of men in a New Year's Eve altercation in Columbus, Ohio, Quinn said on Wednesday that, nope, it never happened. And furthermore, you know that Brokeback Mountain sequel they just shelved? Let's just say that it's back on, as long as filming occurs during the NFL offseason. More »

brady quinn and the gays

Brady Quinn Attacks His Only Fans Left


Remember that famous "Saturday Night Live" sketch, in which William Shatner famous told Trekkies to "get a life, for crying out loud, it's just a TV show?" Even though it was just a sketch, it took him years to make it up to his rabid and most loyal supporters. We suspect Brady Quinn, in a much less innocent and joking fashion, is about to go through the same thing. More »

don't blame me, i voted for mike dewine

Senator Asks NFL To Recognize Additional Team For Mercury Morris To Taunt

Every current NFL city has at least played in or hosted a Super Bowl, with the exception of ... you guessed it, Cleveland. So I guess there's no reason to discuss them at hahaha I had you going there for a second. More »

brady quinn

Brady Quinn's Unfortunate Circumstances

With the news yesterday that the Browns are looking to sign Derek "Horse Balls" Anderson to long-term contract, we look ominously to a future that, sadly ... could be Brady Quinn-less. More »

nfl roundup

Winslow Soldiers A Catch, But You Didn't See It, And It Didn't Happen

Tiny tidbits and info smidgens from Week 13 of the NFL ...

• We know, the Buzzsaw are now 6-6 and holding on to the final wild-card spot in the NFC, but seriously now: That was a catch by Kellen Winslow at the end of the game, and the Browns should have won. We have never understood the notion that any play in football isn't "reviewable" by instant replay. Sure it's reviewable; we just watched it, and totally reviewed it. Kellen Winslow was pushed out of bounds; if there had been no one there, he would have landed in bounds. The replay clearly shows that. So why can't we rely on the replay again? (Still: We are not complaining. Tied for the wild-card in Week 13? Woo!)

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nfl roundup

All This Controversy, You'd Think They Got The Call Wrong

Tidbits and info smidgens from Week 10 in the NFL ...

• Forgive us if we spare you the "outrage" over the ending of the Browns-Ravens game yesterday. It certainly seems like the NFL reviewed a play they weren't supposed to be able to review, which, you know, is fine, because it's right. The fact that a particular play is officially "not reviewable" is stupid; we assure you, it's reviewable; we just reviewed it, right now. You can't stop us. The call was correct. Who cares about the boring protocols? We're going to have to deal with three or four days this week of, essentially, a bunch of people arguing about linguistics in the user's manual. Yawn. The right call ended up being made, and the whole play looked cool to boot. Can we move on?

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brady quinn

Your Night Out With Brady Quinn

What could be a more attractive way to spend early 2008 that a Dance Revolution Party with Brady Quinn? You could have that chance! More »

nfl 2:30 update

Budweiser's Right: The Browns Are So Good They Don't Even Need A Logo

Gus Johnson, calling that exhilarating Bills-Fins game today, just got done saying before the half that he thinks the Steelers are being slept on and that they could easily hang with the Patriots or Colts. DA says, "Suck on my Horse Balls, Gussy!" Browns 21, Steelers 9 More »

brady quinn

Brady Quinn's Stone Cold Lead Pipe Locks

We haven't checked in on Brady Quinn in a while: How's our favorite flashdancer doing? More »

nfl roundup

NFL Week One Roundup Of Random Notes And Bullet Points, As Is The Style

Thoughts on the first weekend of the NFL ... so glad to have it back ...

• Ben Roethlisberger threw 12 passes yesterday, and four of them were for touchdowns. Meanwhile, Charlie Frye ... you know, it's not like this guy is Tim Couch. Last year, some legitimately thought he might be the future quarterback. Now he's not even the quarterback of the second half of the opener. Maybe he should bounce his head off some pavement, then wait a year.

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they love those one man drills in cleveland

Oh, Yeah, Baby, Hit That Sled! Oh, Oooohhh!

As a tight end, Kellen Winslow has the daunting task of learning both blocking and protection schemes with the offensive line, but also the reads and routes of the wide receivers. Miami Sports Blog shows us Winslow mastering the former component of his craft, in the presence of a, um, big fan. On the plus side, I'm impressed with how steady he can keep the camera with one hand. More »

nfl divisional previews

It's The AFC North Pants Party


Three fascinating teams in the AFC North ... and then the one that has Brady Quinn. What's not to like? More »

nfl season preview

NFL Season Preview: Cleveland Browns

Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it.

Last year, we asked some of our favorite writers to opine why Their Favorite Team Was Better Than Yours. Ultimately, we found this constrictive, and it also might have killed James Frey. So this time, we've just asked them to just run free, talk about their team, their experience as a fan, their hopes, their dreams, their desires for oral sex. All our teams are now assigned; if you sent us an email and we didn't get back to you, we're sorry, and we accept your scorn. But today: Cleveland Browns.

Your author is Monday Morning Punter, one of the mad minds behind Kissing Suzy Kolber. His words are after the jump.

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dood

Brady Quinn Stands Before You Shorn


Because we're still a little taken aback by Michael Vick's press conference today — we imagine him using every prison phone call to dial Roger Goodell's office — we bring you lighter news to close the day. Brady Quinn has shaved his head. More »

deadspin hall of fame

Deadspin HOF Nominee: Brady Quinn

The art of photography is a delicate, complicated one. You must possess an eye for composition and complexity, yes, but you also must hope your subject — whatever he, she or it is — can be capturing in a moment that reveals something, not just about his / she / its nature, but also humanity as a whole. Therefore, Brady Quinn, a star before he ever plays an NFL down. More »

Because Romeo Crennel can't decide which of his Cleveland Browns should start at quarterback for the first preseason game, he'll do the noble thing: flip a coin. Maybe before the game, refs will decide who receives the ball first based on which team performed best at training camp. [Sox & Dawgs]