Deadspin
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washington redskins
Clinton Portis and Brian Mitchell Radio Interview Goes Entertainingly Off The Rails
Yesterday, Clinton Portis went on John Thompson's radio show on WTEM 980 in Washington, D.C. and within minutes he and Thompson's co-host, former Redskin/Eagle Brian Mitchell , were at each others throats. B. Mitch has been critical of Portis in the past, which prompted the feud, and the DC Sports Bog has the highlights: More »
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By Clay TravisComment by ArkansasFred: Both of y'all are guys that we're both proud of, and when you see one another, eat a sausage sandwich Just... 13 Responses | Other threads
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Dr. Do Itch Big
Clinton Portis Plays All The Old Hits
We hope whoever takes over this site keeps the Deadspin Hall Of Fame going; it would make us very happy to see that still cruising along in a decade. (We also love that it's so difficult to get in; just one inductee last year!) One of the earliest enshrinees, Clinton Portis, is returning to his old tricks ... if in a somewhat less interesting, more corporate family friendly fashion. More » -
choo choo
Clinton Portis Is Happily Weird Again
Via DC Sports Bog, which was invented for this very thing, it's Clinton Portis' newest "character." It's "Choo-Choo." We don't know what it means, and we don't care. It's like the final season of "Arrested Development;" not as inspired as the first go-arounds, but we're all just grateful it's back, nevertheless.
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By LeitchComment by lorne bialystok: Clinton's an Alan Arkin, Carol Burnett fan? more » | Other threads
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everybody loves dan snyder's money
Dolemite Jenkins Lives Large
Easterns Motors may be known for luring low-income debt-ridden customers into purchasing a car they can't afford, but they're the only entertaining car dealership in the history of the world. It began with the all-time great radio jingle, it progressed into some brilliantly goofy tv spots with local athletes singing said jingle, and now it's come to this; a delightful video filled with cars, a goofy Clinton Portis wearing a hilarious shirt, and some fetching young ladies. There might have even been a car in there somewhere, I don't really remember. Thanks to the brothers Mottram at Mister Irrelevant for bringing this to light.
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Comment by CurlyW: It would have been much better if he had walked in unannounced with two chicks at Smoot's house. more » | Other threads
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quote the redskin
"If [Saunder] says, 'Clinton I need you to run through that brick wall,' and that brick wall, it's hard to run through a brick wall, I've got to find a way to get as close as I can and dive over the top of this brick wall and tell him, '[Bleep], I made it over.' You know? 'I did it. I didn't do it the way you asked me to do it, but I got there'." Welcome back, Portis. [D.C. Sports Bog]
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By skeetsComment by metalmaniac: In the words of that great philosopher Bill Engvall, "There's your sign." more » | Other threads
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ron mexico
Clinton Portis Has Ron Mexico's Back
Ron Mexico might be going through a particularly difficult time right now, but it's worth noting that he has one significant booster: Deadspin Hall of Famer Clinton Portis. He'd just like you and your ilk to leave Mr. Vick and his puppies alone. More »
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By LeitchComment by The S.P.O.R.T.S. Cam: Property rights, huh? I wonder what Dred Scott would make of your opinion, Clinton more » | Other threads
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nfl
Clinton Portis Is Keeping Curious Company
We'll confess, we don't watch that "Flavor Of Love" show on VH-1; we remember once having good thoughts about Flavor Flav, many years ago, and just seeing the highlights of the show makes us extremely uncomfortable, like we're watching Reagan in the last throes of Alzheimer's or something. (We bet Chuck D can't watch that show without throwing up.) More »
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By LeitchComment by Greek McPapadopoulos: Dammit, stupid non-refreshing comments. more » | Other threads
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outdoors
Please Heed These Tips For A Safe And Fun Halloween
This is for all of you Halloween revelers who are planning on being clever tomorrow night and dress up like Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter. And you know who you are. We see you with the Paul Hogan hat and the toy sting ray and the too-tight khaki shorts, and we're begging you to stop. My God, many of you even have toy crocodiles. Ecch. Just don't do it. And not because it would be in poor taste, but because it's lame; everyone is going to have the same idea. From the Snopes.com message board: More » -
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nfl
Well, Look Who's Back!
That's right, folks: You thought the beat slowed down, but with Clinton Portis, the beat just don't slow down. More »
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By LeitchComment by Remington Steal: On NFL Total Access, Rich Eisen had no idea who "Dolemite" was (no real shocker), but technically, neither did Rod... more » | Other threads
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nfl
Clinton Portis Hangs Up The Wacky Glasses
There's a reason that you must wait five years until after your career is over to be elected to most professional sports Halls of Fame; it looks strange to have a Hall of Famer out there running around like everybody else. It seems beneath them, somehow. More » -
deadspin hall of fame
Hall Of Fame Inductee: Clinton Portis
Presenting the next member of the inaugural class of the Deadspin Hall Of Fame ... More » -
nfl
Deadspin HOF Nominee: Clinton Portis
Before he was co-opted by The NFL Network and Daniel Snyder's presumably slave-waged garmentmakers, Redskins running back Clinton Portis consistently provided us immeasurable entertainment pretty much every Thursday for two months. More »
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By LeitchComment by Luckless Pedestrian: You have got to love an athlete who's that much of a natural, uninhibited entertainer. Coach Janky Spanky was the... more » | Other threads
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nfl
Clinton Portis' Illogical Soapbox
You know we love Clinton Portis, right? Our enjoyment of his play and his antics, we believe, is unquestioned. More »
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By LeitchComment by Ross McLochness: I like his reasoning a lot - let the players smoke cigarettes in the locker room, play with no mouthpieces,... more » | Other threads
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nfl
Finally Making Some Money Off Southeast Jerome
Fully capitalizing on something it stumbled across last season, the official Redskins site Redskins.com is now selling T-shirts adorned with every Clinton Portis character from his press conferences last year. Those who were with us last season will remember our schoolgirl crush on Portis, particularly Coach Janky Spanky, who resembled pretty much every gym teacher we've ever had. More » -
nfl
The Return Of Portis' Head
We supposed part of us should be depressed by the news that Clinton Portis is taking his strangely brilliant "characters" from last season's Redskins press conferences and using them to shill for the NFL Network, but we can't quite summon up much outrage. Honestly? We're just happy to see the characters back at all.
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nfl
Clinton Portis Keeps The World Safe For Democracy
Oh, big things today thanks to The Mighty MJD: A radio interview with the great Clinton Portis that he announces from the get-go is "only willin' to talk x-rated." And then we're off. You can hear the interview right here, highlights include: More »
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By LeitchComment by BoSox Siobhan: I simply canNOT get enough of Clinton Portis. He needs his own show. more » | Other threads
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nfl
Introducing Coconut Jones
Hey, look, on "Cold Pizza": It's Coconut Jones! (He may look vaguely familiar to you.) More » -
nfl
The Final Wake Of Southeast Jerome
To, at last, close the book on our man Clinton Portis and all his press conference personas from the last year, the man himself has finally updated his personal Web site with a detailed timeline, with biographical sketches, of each fraction of his tortured soul. More » -
nfl
He Stands Before You. Clinton. Simply Clinton.
If the real sports world were like the Deadspin sports world, someone like Dennis Rodman or Joe Pepitone would be popping open some champagne this morning, 1972 Dolphins-style: The Clinton Portis madness streak has finally come to an end. More »
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By LeitchComment by TacklinFuel: Either Clinton is taking the reverse jinx from the fantasy football world to the forefront and a whole new level... more » | Other threads
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nfl
Redskins Surprisingly Effective Car Salesmen
With the Redskins improbably advancing to the NFL's Final Eight, we're obviously going to be ratcheting up the Clinton Portis coverage even more than we already have, if that's not terrifying enough for you. As a little appetizer, though, we present you this gaggle of advertisements for Easterns Automotive Group, a used-car dealership that specializes in people with terrible credit. (Their slogan is "Your Job Is Your Credit," which is better than, say, "Your Dog Is Your Credit" or "Your Bath Towel Is Your Credit.") More » -
nfl
Coach Janky Spanky: Cliffs Notes Version
We know this has already been covered here, but, honestly, we're still so blown away by Clinton Portis' performance as "Coach Janky Spanky" yesterday that we feel obliged to point out the highlights for those of you who haven't had the pleasure of watching it yet. Here's a cheat sheet. More » -
nfl
Portis Becoming Subtle Character Actor
We've witnessed the newest Clinton Portis character, and we have to say, even though the costume leaves much to be desired, it might be our favorite one yet. More » -
nfl
Clinton Portis' Supermarket Sweep
Ever wonder what Clinton Portis might do if given $10,000 to spend in a Best Buy in the span of half an hour? Jeez, who hasn't? More »
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By LeitchComment by Yankeebunny: "making up shit as they go along" That seems to be his motto...LOL !! more » | Other threads
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nfl
Ma Sweets Will Punch You In The Mouth
What kind of woman would raise a man who would wear a costume like this? What kind of woman could raise such a spawn? More » -
nfl
Southeast Jerome In Heaven With Friends
OK, so as we showed you yesterday, Clinton Portis brought along some pals for his press conference yesterday. The conceit was that Southeast Jerome — who had been previously considered "lost" — had died and made it to heaven with all his friends. They included: More » -
nfl
Clinton Portis And His New Friends
We'll get into this more tomorrow ... but if you go to Redskins.com right now, you'll see that our man Clinton Portis has, uh, brought a few friends along for his weekly psychological exploration. More »
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By LeitchComment by RowdyRoddyPiper: Juancho, that's a good idea...except Portis is #26, not #24. Shawn Springs is #24, and while he may in... more » | Other threads
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nfl
Portis Now Getting Costume From Garage Sales
Just for the record, yesterday Redskins running back Clinton Portis wore a old leather football helmet, pigtails and Groucho Marx glasses. He called himself "Inspector Two Two." We have no idea what any of this means anymore. At this point, he's just cleaning out the neighbor's closet. In the final weeks, expect rabbit ears, a clown nose, maybe some of those redneck teeth you can buy at the gas station. Whatever works. More »
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By LeitchComment by Yankeebunny: I agree - gradual insanity is funny and makes for great conversation at parties. more » | Other threads
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nfl
Clinton Portis' Craziest Costume Yet
Other Clinton Portis costumes have been deep, terrifying glimpses into the most cavernous regions of his soul, a tiny peek at the scary child within, peering out into the world, hoping it's not raining anymore. But this, his most recent one, however, is the most horrifying at all: A monstrous look at psychological havoc, a twisted, tangled web of neurosis and fear, spread out there for the world to understand and to witness, in all its pain and glorious anger. It's Portis' soul out there for us all to see, and we have to discuss how to handle it — whether we can handle it. More »
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By LeitchComment by Yankeebunny: Methinks he was channeling Space Ghost. more » | Other threads
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nfl
Athlete Run-In: Helping Clinton Portis Score
Today's final athlete run-in story is right up our alley, because it's about your friend and ours ... Clinton Portis! It's from Jay in Virginia: More » -
nfl
Bro Sweets Will Juice You Up
Clinton Portis was back yesterday with yet another fractured segment of his personality, this one somewhat sweeter than the past ones, literally even. We proudly introduce "Bro Sweets," Clinton's most recent tortured mental sliver. More » -
nfl
Portis Becomes Depressingly Self-Questioning
Ladies and gentleman, we present to you, after a one-week hiatus for Thanksgiving, Redskins running back Clinton Portis' newest creation: "Reverend Gonna Change," with those pretty crazy teeth and hair and the whole thing. On our scale, this ranks above "Dollah Bill" but behind "Dr. I-Don't-Know." You can watch the full video of Portis' press conference; we love how the DC media's keeps trying to ask serious questions of the man in the striped wig. More »
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By LeitchComment by Sportszilla: The real question is, why hasn't this been the subject of a Mayne Event yet? more » | Other threads
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nfl
Polls: You Love You Some Sheriff
Well, the readers have spoken, and in yet another trouncing — we never have any close polls around here, which we suppose is our fault — your favorite Clinton Portis costume is Sheriff Gonna Getcha, with 38.1 percent of the vote. (We think it's the Led Zeppelin shirt; impossible to resist it.) Second place — and our pick — was Dr. I-Don't-Know with 25.6 percent; we like the pink, we think. More »
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By LeitchComment by The Filthy Mick: Disappointing. Are your readers really that amazed to see a black man in a Zep t-shirt? Dr. I Don't Know was... more » | Other threads
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nfl
Vote: Which Is The Best Portis Alter Ego?
For those of you who haven't been paying attention to the gradual, meticulous mental breakdown of Clinton Portis, the Redskins running back has been dressing up as a new "character" — and, Method-like, staying in character during interviews — for each media conference every Thursday. (It is to Portis' credit that he's not only playing up the characters on his Web site, he — or more accurately, whatever poor sap he's paying three bucks an hour to update his site — is actually linking to our coverage of him.) More » -
nfl
Clinton Portis. Clinton Portis. Say It With Us Now.
If it's Friday, it must be time to check in on the weird shit Clinton Portis came up with yesterday. We've documented Portis' antics extensively, and he did not disappoint yesterday with his new character: "Dollah Bill." This character's a little less inspired than "Dr. 'I Don't Know'" and "Sheriff Gonna Getcha," but he's still got plenty to impress. He says he's "on a mission" to find the $20,000 Portis was fined for violating NFL clothing policy two weeks ago. More » -
nfl
Clinton Portis Still Selling Crazy, Man
In case you thought Redskins running back Clinton Portis was becoming more sane as the weeks went by rather than less, you can relax. We proudly present his newest concoction: "Sheriff Gonna Getcha." More » -
nfl
Clinton Portis' Methodical Meltdown
That guy right there is Redskins running back Clinton Portis, who is slowly limping toward madness, right before everyone's eyes. This week, before last night's win over the Eagles, Portis announced that his previous character, Southeast Jerome, had died and now he was Dr. I Don't Know. Who is Dr. I Don't Know. Well, Portis doesn't know. But he can explain the strange getup. More » -
nfl
NFL Roundup: Portis' Head
• Contrary to popular belief, Redskins running back Clinton Portis was not doing an impersonation of Yankees center fielder Bernie Williams chasing a fly ball while doing that cartwheel in the end zone yesterday. Good guess, though. More »
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By LeitchComment by http://davidgilmore.blogspot.com: When Kyle Orton doesn't shave he looks suspiciously asian. more » | Other threads
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clinton portis
Party With Clinton Portis
If you're roaming around the Washington, D.C. area with nothing to do tomorrow night, and you're desperate to wish legendary party guy Clinton Portis a happy birthday, here's your invite to the party at a DC club called LOVE, courtesy eVIPlist. Don't forget the point of the party, either: More »
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