It's a shame that Strawberry has to fight for space on Page Six with a dull Boy Scout like Alex Rodriguez. What The Straw did with his New York Met teammates back in the 1980s is infinitely more shocking, more scandalous and most importantly—more fun. No one has time to bulk up to superhuman proportions when they're busy banging groupies in the locker room.

The book, "Straw: Finding My Way," comes out in April (Citi Field giveaway?), but just get a load of some of the teasers. This could be the best memoir since that Mötley Crüe book.

Beer "was the foundation of our alcoholic lifestyle," he writes. "We hauled around more Bud than the Clydesdales. The beer was just to get the party started and maybe take the edge off the speed and coke."

Of course. Nothing mixes better with $500-a-gram blow than 12-ounces of beechwood aging.

The team's mantra on the road, he writes, was to "tear up your best bars and nightclubs and take your finest women... The only hard part for us was choosing which hottie to take back to your hotel room. Lots of times you . . . picked two or three."

Naturally. But what happens when stealing strangers' girlfriends away isn't enough?

He once watched a pitcher march a frisky fan to a private room for oral sex: "I was jealous. When I saw her heading back to her seat, I gave her a sign. She smiled, turned right back around, and met me in that same little room . . . I had to be quick and run back out on the field."

Just think ... if only Strawberry's career hadn't been derailed by all that cocaine, he could be getting serviced in a Cooperstown bathroom right now.

DARRYL BARES MET SEXCAPADES [NY Post]
Shine the Light Over Here For a Second! [Why's My Head Growing?]
Got a Straw?: Darryl Strawberry Is Writing a Book! [Brock Out]

He got caught with cocaine and Matt Jones is still playing football. How does he get away with that? And then you fine people $20,000 for making comments to the media about the refs. The guy got caught with cocaine."

The $20,000 is in reference to himself (of course), when Roger Goodell fined Porter that amount last month after he made disparaging remarks about Ed Hochuli's refereeing when the Dolphins played the Houston Texans.

But does Porter have a point here? Jones was suspended for three games after his arrest, but is currently involved in the appeals process which enables him to still play. (He's also the leading receiver on the Jaguars this year. Cocaine:helluva drug.) Is there a double standard in the way the league handled Jones' (white guy) drug charge and the way the league handles the rest of its rule-breakers?

Porter says Jags' Jones shouldn't be playing [AP]

It's the University of Montana, where the athletes are also entrepreneurs. From the Bozeman Daily Chronicle:

Former wide receiver Richard Demond Gatewood, 23, and his brother, Randy Lamar Gatewood, 21, both of Bozeman, appeared in federal court in Missoula Wednesday on two federal complaints alleging they were selling cocaine and conspiring to sell cocaine in Bozeman from June 2005 to May 2007, according to court records.

Both men are being held in Missoula County's jail. Bail has not been set.

According to federal court records, another former MSU football player who goes by the street names of "Demetrius," "D" or "DW" has been the leader of a drug-dealing gang with at least six drug "runners" in Bozeman for two years.

One of those runners, Rick Gatewood, allegedly used his athletic scholarship money to help bring cocaine to Bozeman from "DW's" supplier in Fairfield, Calif.

See, the universities make so much money off of the football players and refuse to pay them, and then the second they try to make some money of their own, everyone's like, "No, you can't sell cocaine!" It's so unfair.

Bobcats brought cocaine to Bozeman. Seriously. [The Grizzoulian]
Drug ring consisting of former MSU athletes busted [Bozeman Daily Chronicle]