curses Page index.xml - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Read 'em and weep: Here are the worst droughts in modern sports, non-title edition
The White Sox have won their first division title since 2008, which doesn’t really feel right, because they’ve only had two truly awful seasons in the last decade and a half, and power in the Central is rarely concentrated anywhere for too long, but it’s true. It would be a weird thing to lie about....
What The Hell Did The Mets Do To Edwin Díaz?
You hear things. Rumblings and dark intimations, whispers that skitter down corridors on ghostly little feet. People say that there’s something there, something hard to name, some kind of power. Something that doesn’t listen or bargain or play by the rules that hold the rest of us fast, something st...
Hornets' Jeremy Lamb Hit A Much More Reasonable Game-Winner Against The Raptors This Time
In any other situation, you, the reader, would be a fool to pick the constantly-underachieving Charlotte Hornets to beat one of the top seeds in the Eastern Conference. Yet the Hornets were able to beat the visiting Toronto Raptors on Friday, 113-112, because they happen to employ a player that appe...
What Swear Word Did Eli Manning Have To Look Up?
The putative news from Eli Manning’s appearance Wednesday on a panel discussion about brain injuries is that the Giants QB declared Odell Beckham Jr. to be the most talented player he’s ever played with. This is not “news,” as such, because: no duh. It also wasn’t the most interesting thing Manning ...
The Flyers' Home Opener Went So Badly, They're Swearing
Now, you pieces of shit know that I can’t abide cursing. There’s no fucking reason for an educated, grown man to resort to swear words. How goddamned bad could the Flyers’ home opener against the Sharks have been to spur not one, but two players to work blue?...Oh! Oh. Jesus fishfisting Christ. Yeah...
The World Needs Lil B To Curse Lonzo Ball And The Lakers
The Ball family, of Big Baller Brand shoes and the Lakers’ point-guard-of-the-future role, have a new Facebook reality show called Ball in the Family. I had no idea the Ball family ever did not have a Facebook reality show, but here we are....
Brock Lesnar Accidentally Curses Winnipeg Jets' Season By Stepping On Team Seal
Brock Lesnar is halfway through a year-long USADA doping suspension, and he’s apparently filling part of the MMA-shaped void in his life with hockey. The Winnipeg Jets had him over last night, and he promptly doomed their season by stepping on a team logo seal in the center of the locker room. I’m g...
Who Will Free The Cursed Soul Trapped Inside This Matt Stafford Statue?
This custom-made, 62-inch wooden statue of Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford is currently on sale for $1,500. It is imperative that someone out there buy it and destroy it, so that the curse binding a tortured soul to it for all eternity can be broken....
Red Sox Score 22 Runs For Ben Affleck
The Boston Red Sox have had a shit year, until very recently. In the approximately 24 hours since manager John Farrell announced he had been diagnosed with lymphoma, the team has scored, by my math, one million runs....
CBS Praises Browns For No Turnovers; Browns Immediately Turn Ball Over
The Cleveland Browns have been rock-solid at holding onto the ball lately, and CBS decided to call attention to the fact that they'd gone 99 straight red-zone drives without a giveaway. That's the longest active streak in the NFL, or at least it would be if they hadn't immediately turned the ball ...
Georgia Tech's Rod Sweeting Wins Sun Bowl MVP Honors, Immediately Utters "Sheeeeeiiit" On CBS
Georgia Tech cornerback Rod Sweeting dominated a USC offense uninterested in making the Sun Bowl competitive, earning his way to the bowl's MVP honors. The televised trophy presentation led to CBS's Tracy Wolfson demanding a few words from Sweeting, but his first one—left to reverberate against th...
Stephen A. Smith Says "Nigga, Please" On ESPN2, And Everyone Gets Stupid In Response
On Thursday morning's First Take, Stephen A. Smith expressed his disbelief that Kobe Bryant would miss time with an injury by saying "nigga, please." This was not a thing he should have said on TV, yet he did. It was barely noticeable, but at least one person noticed, uploaded the video, and cert...
Enough With The Mystical Cubs Bullshit, Please
Can we talk about this? Can we talk about everything wrong with the notion that if the Cubs are to succeed—if they are to finally, evitably win a championship—they have to first tear down Wrigley Field? That there is bad juju on Waveland and hoodoo on Sheffield and black alchemy on Addison and maybe...
We'll Pay For Video Of Dana Jacobson Chugging Vodka From The Bottle And "Cursing Like A Sailor"
Yesterday, upon hearing the news that Dana Jacobson intends to leave ESPN, we hoped to pay our respects by posting a video clip of our favorite moment from her time in Bristol. Alas, actual footage of Jacobson chugging vodka from the bottle and "cursing like a sailor," in the words of the Press of A...
Dana Jacobson Has The Sole Appropriate Reaction To The Mike And Mike Roast (Deadspin Classic)
Dana Jacobson is reportedly leaving ESPN. Four years ago, she gave us one of our favorite moments. Originally published Jan. 14, 2008....
Death Is Stalking The 1994 Chargers
It is the plot of the least likely Final Destination sequel ever: members of the 1994 AFC Champion Chargers have been dying premature deaths. Even more premature than the average CTE-doomed football player: with Lew Bush's death last week, seven eight players from that Super Bowl team have passed aw...
Soon-To-Be-Fired Newspaper Editor Puts A Big Old "Fuck" On Page 3C
You may want to avert your delicate sensibilities from today's Greenville (S.C.) News, because they accidentally printed a naughty not-for-old-people-who-still-subscribe-to-newspapers word in today's story about the SEC Title Game. It's easy to miss, subtly placed in the flow of the text, but look v...