The photo of Brady having a potato chip placed gently in his mouth by Gisele is one that might end up on the bulletin boards of opposing defensive teams next season, but it's definitely not the most emasculating photo that could surface. Ask Riley Skinner. Yet Shaughnessy is convinced this action alone is one that proves Brady isn't the man he thought he was. That he's "gone soft" and is no longer the iron-jawed, stoic leader of the Patriots Super Bowl dynasty.

Remember, people - this is a football player we're talking about. This is your quarterback. Think there's any photographic evidence of Johnny Unitas being spoon-fed? Bet Slingin' Sammy Baugh's wife never tried to sling any hash into his mouth.

Gisele was feeding him. Think of Tom Cruise jumping up and down on Oprah's couch. Think of Mike Dukakis in the tank. This was worse.

Ever see a high school player injured in the middle of the game and have his mother run onto the field to hover over him? That's what this is like. A guy might never recover.

Personally, I was little more creeped -out by the Stetson ad with him holding a baby lamb, but Shaughnessy said he was okay with that one. However a paparazzi photo of his quarterback getting fed? That's a deal breaker to the fuzzy-headed columnist.

It seems a bit extreme to compare a Brazilian super model spoon-feeding you on vacation to a "little boy eating mushy food spooned out of a Gerber jar" but that's something that can only be dissected by Shaughnessy's therapist. Most of the online readers seemed to disagree with the premise of the piece as well, defending their quarterback to no end and accusing Shaughnessy of being jealous, old, and ugly. Oh one person agreed with him. A commenter named "Fatman.":

Good story, brady is a washed up bum, ship him off to San Fran with the rest of the h*mo's.

That's a start.

The Hard Truth: He's Gone Soft [Boston.com]
Breakfast With The Hysterics [Mass Hysteria]

Angry about some negative reviews on Amazon, Shaughnessy's daughter Kate has emailed a list of friends and family imploring them to write positive reviews to offset those nasty, nasty ones. The full email:

Hello,

I hope this is not an imposition, but I am writing on behalf of my father, Dan Shaughnessy. All of your emails expressing your appreciation for his book "Senior Year" have meant so much to him. The book has received nothing but positive press, and has been doing well in stores thanks to people like you spreading the word that you enjoyed it. It was, as you know, a very personal project and one that left him pretty vulnerable to all the "Dan-Haters" out there. Unfortunately, those "Dan-Haters" make it their business to fling mud at my dad whenever possible, and one of their favorite ways to do this is write terrible reviews for his books on Amazon.com. As pathetic as it is, these people actually take the time out of their day to go to Amazon.com and write a negative customer review for a book they have not even read, just to spite Dan Shaughnessy. So, I am writing to ask a small favor. If you can, please take the time to go to Amazon.com and write a customer review of your own, letting people know what you —someone who actually read it— thought of the book. It will only take a few minutes, and would help a great deal in silencing the mindless morons who regularly contribute to this "Dan-Hating."

You all wrote wonderful things about "Senior Year" in notes to my dad. Please help cancel out the negative buzz on Amazon.com by writing a brief customer review, and giving this book the rating it deserves.
Thank you so much for your time.

Sincerely,
Kate Shaughnessy

What we find strange about this: We were only able to find two negative reviews about the book on Amazon. Surely, this seems like a bit of an overreaction; only two negative reviews about the CHB? For this a pleading email? We expected so much more from the "mindless morons."

Senior Year [Amazon]

(By the way, that picture is of Shaughnessy giving a journalism award to SI's 10 Spot Blog's Pete McEntegart.)

As we marvel at a shockingly entertaining column from Dan Shaughnessy this morning, we wonder, once again, how little Matsuzaka must understand what he's in for. We don't mean that in the normal way, which implies that an athlete like Matsuzaka is somehow simple-minded and confused about these Crazy American Sports. We mean that the level of assimilation and comfort he must muster almost immediately — there's a press conference at 5 p.m. today; fingers crossed that Epstein wears the gorilla costume again — seems like a bar too daunting to reach. We agree with one section of Shaughnessy's column: Throw away the AM radio.

Some Friendly Suggestions For Matuszaka [Boston.com]

Well, anyway, looks like The Boston Globe is thinking about the same thing, except they will be limiting it mostly to sports. That means that not only will you be expected to want to read Dan Shaughnessy online, you will be expected to pay for him. Like, specifically, for him.

They're also talking about posting "blogs by players," which brings us one step closer to that promised land of a Manny Ramirez blog. And it would cost about six bucks a month. The way the Red Sox have their media racket set up over there, we're honestly surprised it's not more.

GlobeSelect [Boston Phoenix]

This, of course, seems highly unusual, particularly after Epstein was essentially torched by management and the Boston Globe, to the point the dude actually escaped wearing a gorilla costume. Remember how we were all hoping that Epstein would take a year off and come back all grizzly and talking about hemp? In order of preference, we hope that Epstein goes mountain man, then we hope he comes back to the Red Sox and, last place, he takes over as GM of, like, the Rockies or something equally dumb. Mostly, though, we hope someone puts a knee in Shaughnessy's groin. That might be fun.

Return Of The Boy Wonder? [Baseball Musings]
The Real Reason Theo's Gone [Deadspin]

From many accounts, Epstein was close to saddling back up with the BoSox until Shaughnessy wrote Sunday's column that basically implied Epstein was an ingrate who upset his "mentors". From Boston blog Sheriff Sully, via Baseball Musings:

Only one man on this planet could ve given Shaughnessy the information he had. The way in which Shaughnessy presented it was nothing short of sickening. He defended the Sox and [Sox president Larry] Lucchino no less than a dozen times. Bob Ryan would ve resigned before writing that bogus crap and the Globe knows that. However, Lucchino more than likely didn t even bother going through channels and just called Shaughnessy himself.

The Sheriff — who says the affair has "all but ended my lifelong love affair with the Boston Red Sox" — is hardly alone. The Boston Herald — which kicked the Globe's ass on this story repeatedly — quoted sources saying, "A leading contributing factor, according to sources close to the situation, was a column in Sunday s Boston Globe in which too much inside information about the relationship between Epstein and his mentor, team president and CEO Larry Lucchino, was revealed — in a manner slanted too much in Lucchino s favor." Some samplings from Sons Of Sam Horn show just how pissed Sox fans are:

"F'in CHB angling for a new curse book, I'm betting. I'm vomitting."

"I seriously want a retraction, explanation and apology from Dan Curly-Q. I mean, I was his last defender. He may now have played a hand in the set-back of this organization. Should he sell another book profiting off this mess (or others) he should and will burn in hell. Next to Larry Lucchino."

"CHB, from a March interview:
RSN: So, you feel that the story is more important than the team as far as being a writer goes?
DS: Absolutely. Always root for the story! That is what it is all about.
Not that I'll read it, but he's got one now."

To use the words of a Deadspin reader, "I mean, shouldn't fans be at the doors of the Globe this morning with torches and pitchforks?"

A Few Bad Men [Sheriff Sully]
Epstein Out As Red Sox GM [Boston Herald]
Let's Iron Out Some Of This Dirty Laundry [Boston Globe]

(By the way, "CHB" is short for "Curly Haired Boyfriend," a term Carl Everett once used to describe Shaughnessy. For much more on this story than we can provide, we highly encourage you to check out Boston Sports Media and Dan Shaughnessy Watch.)