This by no means should surprise, but Strawberry would have taken steroids had they been available when he played. In copious amounts. That's about the only illegal substance that our Straw hasn't tried, and I get the feeling he's feeling left out. From the New York Daily News:

"Hell, yeah, I would have used it. Are you kidding me?" Strawberry said in Mets camp, as he kicked off a week as a guest instructor. Strawberry made the statement while throwing his support behind Alex Rodriguez. "I have a hard time with the union when one player out of 104 players' names comes out and it's Alex Rodriguez, on testing that was done that there was supposed to be confidentiality," Strawberry said. "Obviously somebody has had it out for him. It's not fair.

"If you're going to name one, why don't you name all of them? That's the only problem I have with this situation. They have put him in a situation where it's just him alone against the world. That's not fair because he's not the only one. He's taking the bullet for everybody. He admitted he was wrong and everything. I think that should be enough for everybody."

Strawberry's book, Straw, Finding My Way, will be out April 28. There's some frank discussion about drugs, drinking, sex, and abuse he and his siblings suffered as children. Here's a couple of excerpts from the book, published by Harper Collins:

"I'd started drinking with some of the boys in my rookie year, trying to fit in and be one of the guys. This year I started to drink more heavily. Now I wasn't drinking just to party. I was drinking to try to feel happy about myself for a few hours, drinking to forget about my frustrations at home and in the ballpark. Anybody who's been there can tell you that's a different kind of drinking.

Oh, who am I kidding? We also had help in the form of amphetamines. We called them beans, greens or greenies. And they were as routine a part of our equipment as bats and balls. We kept candy jars full of them in our lockers.

Oh yeah, we were the boys of summer. The drunk, speed-freak, sneaking-a-smoke boys of summer. More like the juvenile delinquents of summer.

Kevin Mitchell was a thug. There's no other way to put it. He grew up in the ghetto of San Diego, where real gang warfare was an everyday thing on the streets. Mitch was shot in the back when he was a teenager, and a stepbrother was shot and killed in a gang throw-down. When he came into baseball, he was still basically a gangbanger in uniform. Mitch didn't have a medium setting on his dial. When a scuffle broke out he went straight to the kill setting. ... Even those of us on the same team with him were kind of terrified of Mitch. I got into a scrap with him once in the minor leagues, when a bunch of us were shooting hoops and talking trash at each other the way guys do. He exploded into a completely berserk rage at something I said, knocked me down with fists that were like sledgehammers, then went off to grab a bat to finish the job. Me and the rest of the guys didn't wait around for him to come back.

Sometimes we didn't even wait for the game to be over before we got the party started. To protect the guilty, I won't say his name, but I remember one time we were playing at the old San Diego stadium and one of my teammates spotted this girl in the stands. They made eye contact and they both knew what they wanted. At some point in the game he disappeared from the dugout between innings. The girl met him in the clubhouse and they had a quickie. He came strolling back to the dugout with a happy, silly grin and cracked us all up.

Former Mets And Yankees Outfielder Darryl Strawberry: 'Hell Yeah,' I Would've Used Steroids [New York Daily News]

It's a shame that Strawberry has to fight for space on Page Six with a dull Boy Scout like Alex Rodriguez. What The Straw did with his New York Met teammates back in the 1980s is infinitely more shocking, more scandalous and most importantly—more fun. No one has time to bulk up to superhuman proportions when they're busy banging groupies in the locker room.

The book, "Straw: Finding My Way," comes out in April (Citi Field giveaway?), but just get a load of some of the teasers. This could be the best memoir since that Mötley Crüe book.

Beer "was the foundation of our alcoholic lifestyle," he writes. "We hauled around more Bud than the Clydesdales. The beer was just to get the party started and maybe take the edge off the speed and coke."

Of course. Nothing mixes better with $500-a-gram blow than 12-ounces of beechwood aging.

The team's mantra on the road, he writes, was to "tear up your best bars and nightclubs and take your finest women... The only hard part for us was choosing which hottie to take back to your hotel room. Lots of times you . . . picked two or three."

Naturally. But what happens when stealing strangers' girlfriends away isn't enough?

He once watched a pitcher march a frisky fan to a private room for oral sex: "I was jealous. When I saw her heading back to her seat, I gave her a sign. She smiled, turned right back around, and met me in that same little room . . . I had to be quick and run back out on the field."

Just think ... if only Strawberry's career hadn't been derailed by all that cocaine, he could be getting serviced in a Cooperstown bathroom right now.

DARRYL BARES MET SEXCAPADES [NY Post]
Shine the Light Over Here For a Second! [Why's My Head Growing?]
Got a Straw?: Darryl Strawberry Is Writing a Book! [Brock Out]

If you're not familiar with the show (and I'm guessing a great many of you aren't), it's a (reality?) show that pits average "Joes" against former professional athletes in their games of choice. For example, in this upcoming season, I'd guess that the Joes will have to cover Michael Irvin on a deep route, defend Tim Hardaway's crossover, fight Randy Couture, slap Jose Canseco's girlfriend, steal Rik Smits' wooden shoes, and proclaim their heterosexuality while Kordell Stewart insists that they're gay.

The complete list of participating pros: Michael Irvin, Jose Canseco, Kevin Willis, Randy Couture, Kordell Stewart, Claude Lemieux, Will Clark, Tim Hardaway, Eric Dickerson, Roy Jones Jr., Vince Coleman, Andre Rison, Rik Smits, Robbie Ginepri, Rob Dibble, Dave Winfield, Wade Boggs, Marc Jackson, John Starks, Andre Reed, Darryl Strawberry, Spud Webb, Grant Fuhr, and Tom Chambers. Wow. It's like the sports version of Hollywood Squares.

Pros vs. Joes [SpikeTV]

Darryl Strawberry thinks the Yankees' clubhouse is beset by bad chemistry that can be cured only one way: Derek Jeter needs to "embrace" Alex Rodriguez. "They've got to come together," Strawberry said Tuesday. "It's time for them to mend their relationship and get back to, like, OK, let's have some fun. ... Because I remember them when they were young and they went to dinner together and they did everything together."

We hope that these two crazy kids will indeed find a way to get together, hopefully over drinks at a dimly-lit cafe in the Village, followed by a movie (The Holiday?). And the sooner the better, so that Strawberry can move on and save other relationships, such as George Karl and Isiah Thomas. Lil' Ronnie and Reggie Wayne. Adrian McPherson and the Tennessee Titans Raccoon ...

Jeter Must Embrace A-Rod, Strawberry Says [MSNBC]

Oh, could we! Turns out, an improv class at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in Manhattan ended up hiring Darryl to speak, and he did not disappoint. Some highlights:

"We used to tag-team women. I know all you dudes in here know what I mean when I say that. We used to laugh about it, but now I know it was really wrong."

"When I first came up to the big leagues, a veteran player laid out some lines of cocaine for me. He said, yeah, this is what we do in the big leagues. So I did some coke and was like WOAH, man... yeah, this IS what we do in the big leagues."
"Man, I used to smoke dope with all kinds of dudes. I don't know how I'm not dead."

Seriously: Is Darryl giving this offer again? We should really put together a Deadspin class for the experience.

Darryl Strawberry, Live And In Person [Gregg Gethard's Amazing Personal Journey]
Darryl Strawberry Can Teach Your Kids A Few Tricks [Deadspin]

This auction features the opportunity to have Darryl Strawberry come to YOUR school! The winning bidder of this auction will have the chance to have New York Legend Darryl Strawberry attend your school for a special appearance for up to an hour. Strawberry will also give a short speech to your school on valubable life lessons. Don't miss out on this rare opportunity to have a super star like Daryl Strawberry come to YOUR school!

(We hope Darryl's first comment is, "It's two 'R's, you dope.'")

The current bid is $250, and the auction ends Saturday; only schools in the New York City tri-state area need apply. While we hope the kids are able to resist the temptation to taunt with "DAR-RYLLLLLL!" repeatedly, we do enjoy that the auction includes the addendum: "This item has an MLB Hologram affixed to guarantee the item is 100% authentic" and stipulates that there is a $10 shipping fee. (Oh, and you can't ship to P.O. Boxes.) In other words, you can't tattoo Darryl and mail him somewhere, which is good, because, really, hasn't Darryl suffered enough?

Have New York Mets Legend Darryl Strawberry Come To Your School [MLB Auctions]

Someone just sent us this picture, and we don't know where it's from, who took it or what the circumstances were around it. But, somehow, it made us extremely sad. Man. That could have been Whitey Ford, Ted Williams and Joe Louis hanging out right there. Oh well.

(UPDATE: The photo is from Always Amazin', a Mets blog. It's an archived New York Daily News photo.)

met204: What was harder — winning the World Series or battling cancer?
Strawberry: Battling cancer was harder.

Yes. We can see that.

Strawberry Keeping An Eye On 2006 Mets [Mets.com]