Papi's explanation via USA Today:

I definitely was a little bit careless.I was buying supplements and vitamins over the counter ... but I never buy steroids or use steroids.I wanted to apologize to fans for the distraction, my teammates, my manager. This past week has been a nightmare."

Thank you, David. Now, the bigger problem in Red Sox Nation is their floundering ball club. The Bronx nut-punching continued last night as Captain Boli saved the Yankees with a two-run walk-off in the bottom of the 15th. Pie to the face!

The Yankees now hold a 4.5 game lead over the Red Sox and appear poised to run away with the division. Welcome back to the early aughts.

It's obvious that the Boston Globe has been sitting on this story a while, waiting to connect it to something larger, but they're going with it now while the BoSox steroid iron is hot. It's the type of investigative journalism that's too common these days: it's clear the paper worked long and hard on this, and the page one placement and length make it seem like it should be really important, but in the end it leaves you feeling a little cold, and confused.

The facts are that two members of Red Sox security were investigated by MLB for steroid use, and subsequently let go by the team. That's all. But the juiciest stuff is in the implications, which remain only implications. It's likely the Globe was following those bread crumbs when the Times scooped them this week.

Alex Cyr was busted with a vial of steroids last July, which started everything unraveling. Cyr was more than security, he was a part-time assistant to Manny Ramirez, often running errands for the slugger. Implication number one.

Cyr told investigators he bought his steroids from co-worker Jared Remy (son of NESN broadcaster Jerry). Remy, for his part, was very close to Felix Leopoldo Marquez, and claims he and Marquez openly discussed and used steroids together. Marquez was a salaried personal assistant to David Ortiz. Implication number two.

But, again, the good stuff — the stuff the Globe wishes it could report, and the stuff fans want to read — just isn't here. But, fortuitously for this story's chance at having legs, that's not going to stop anyone from inferring that steroids were everywhere in Fenway and everyone knew about them. The lesson here: in the middle of a witch hunt, implications are all you need.

Sox Fired Two In Steroids Case [Boston Globe]

I can't believe that I'm surprised about David Ortiz doing steroids. But I'm surprised that David Ortiz did steroids.

You'd think every baseball fan on Earth right now would be more or less numb to the idea of a player being outed as a roider. Ah, but once again, we find that Red Sox fans believe they and their team poop sunshine and live on some sort of magical, negro-free cloud in the heavens. Oh sure, they expect a team like the FACKIN' YANKEES to have roiders. But not the precious Red Sox! They're different! Special! They'd never violate the bond they have their legendary fans, who have been known to keep entire city grids powered simply with the strength of their hearts!

You listen to me, you fucking retards. You're just another bunch of asshole fans rooting for another asshole team. And the fact that you think you're somehow above all that is what makes you utterly insufferable. I hope it turns out the Jason Varitek took HGH in 2004 and once killed a child in a drunken lawnmowing accident.

Lest you think I'm exaggerating about the self-importance of Red Sox fans (I can't believe I had to hear about this on my Blackberry in the sky!), there's this delightfully insane article in the Globe today about just how DEVASTATED they are by this. Look at that chick in the Globe's photo. She's gonna cry! What a loser. Here's the headline:

For legions of fans, a magic spell is broken

NO! NO! The enchantment has worn off! Quick, find all the juniper berries and hearts of cedar you can find. We shall produce a spell that will bring back our precious innocence!

The news struck like a thunderclap

MY WHOLD FACKIN' WARLD JUST GAWT RAWKED!

a bolt that shook fans to the core and bruised their fondest memories.

Oh, no! My precious memories! They've been sullied! Unclean! Unclean! Shouting FACK THE YANKEES will never be as sweet as it once was!

David Ortiz, the legendary Red Sox slugger adored by legions of fans, had reportedly used performance-enhancing drugs, a cruel revelation that left countless fans adrift and disillusioned.

"Now I don't believe in NOTHIN'! I'm going to law school!"

The scourge that has hung over the game for years, sullying many of the game's brightest stars, from Barry Bonds to Roger Clemens, had now claimed one of Boston's own.

No! Not here! I NEVER IMAGINED IT COULD HAPPEN HERE, EVEN THOUGH MANNY ALREADY TESTED POSITIVE!

He was a hero to a lot of us, and now it feels diluted, somehow,'' said Chris Healy, 48, of Norwich, Vt., pausing as he walked to the park with his two sons. "It just doesn't feel good."

Seriously, man. You're 48 years old. Take a look at this card of Ortiz with the Twins. Do you really think he got that big merely by eating arepas?

Others were disappointed, even crushed, but put up a brave face, saying they always suspected something was amiss. Even if they wouldn't let themselves believe it.

"The kid in you wants you to hope it's not true,'' Kevin Murray, a 35-year-old from Millbury, said between bites of an Italian sausage outside the park. "Even if you knew it all along."

Well, then the kid in you is wicked… you know…

"They just aren't as golden anymore,'' said Meghan Stipkovich, 31, heading to Fenway Park yesterday afternoon with her husband and 1-year-old daughter. "It's disheartening. We put them on such a pedestal, and it's tough to hear. Just very sad.''

You get the idea. All through the article are testimonials from fans who suspected Ortiz was a juicer (because Boston fans are so perceptive, you see), but refused to believe it because they're all innocent little fawns at heart. I promise you the Simmons article on this next week will include this stand-alone paragraph:

"But not Papi. Papi was different."

He's not. He's just another ballplayer trying to get ahead. And Red Sox Nation is just another group of shitheads wearing pink hats. Keep crying those delicious tears, gang.

For starters, David Ortiz being on the juice makes it harder for Schilling to raise his kids. This is a teachable moment, of course, but the important thing to remember is that you should not be a phony. But is Curt Schilling shocked by the revelations about his former teammates? Can anything shock him?

I mean come on. Our stinking President had sex with a woman half his age in the oval office and looked straight into the camera in his best Rafael Palmeiro impersonation and said "I did not have sexual relations with that woman." No, his comments don't make it more surprising.

Tough, but fair. (Although technically, Raffy was impersonating him.) But what about the rest of list?

If this is going to continue, MLB and the game would be far better served by just rolling them all out, right now. It wasn't fair when Alex was outed on his own, and neither is this. It's a field day for sports journalists with no talent, because their story is written for them.

As a sports journalist with no talent, I am forced to agree with that. If, for example, a heroic baseball pitcher were suddenly outed as a cheater that post would write itself and I would become rich. Plus, at my elementary school Field Days every one got a ribbon just for participating, and I really appreciated that.

Oh, I almost forgot. Hey Curt, what about that whole breaking the curse and winning two titles with tainted players?

This makes me laugh. I have already seen the bandwagon fans start the *04 and *07 threads and remarks, people with teams who are far deeper into this than most other teams - as if this makes it all OK. Every team going back 10-15 years needs an * if you want to consider giving it to anyone. The hard part is that it's turning into a situation where we are seeing every single GREAT player in the past 10 years caught, and they're dragging what we thought were the majority, and are now turning into the minority, down with them.

So no regrets then?

Questions and answers on the David Ortiz news [38 Pitches]

The Sox must have better dealers than the yankees, two WS titles in last 8 years to zero for the yankees!! Lets go sox!! -Chris

Ok and we are believing the New York Times????? They can't even report politics right or what is going on in world right. Notice the Key name in the newspaper, New York. Just a case of Yankee fans trying to hit the Red Sox, I wont believe that David Ortiz used it until another news source finds it to be true like our own Boston Globe. -Rob M.

DUUUHHHHH!! -nellsbells

I guess Jeter's name is the next to come out. -Deezy21

Theo was begging the New York papers to report this today so he could justify not making a move before the deadline tomorrow this takes all the pressure off him to just sit back and watch the season fall apart and blame it on the steroid scandal great timing isn't it we can't win a game and the deadline is tomorrow damm i need to get the attention away from the awful job i am doing right now running this team lets release manny and papi's name now so i can just relax and collect my check like isiah did in new york with the knicks -Ray

No wonder A-Rod wanted to come here in that trade from Texas. -Jim

Are we sure it's steroids and not jelly donuts? -jconn

Time to allow steroid use among athletes. Come on which Papi would YOU rather watch? -crazylegs

THE PATRIOTS HAVE BEEN DISRESPECTED AGAIN. It's the first day of training camp and just when we ought to be whining about media coverage of the Pats, the Red Sox come in and steal their headlines again. WHEN WILL THIS INDIGNITY END? THE PATRIOTS HAVE BEEN DISRESPECTED AGAIN. -Shameus

This must be untrue. Everyone knows nobody from the Red Sox would do such a thing. Just ask anyone from WEEI or Red Sox "nation". This only happens on other teams. -DorchesterBill

how's that wrist injury doing? it's really affecting his hitting this year. -02113

BIG PAPI SAY IT ANT SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOMETHING STINKS!!!!!!!!!!! -superflygraham

I like David Ortiz. I will always like him. -american

Poor Pedro Gomez drew the short stick and got on the phone today with the Juice Prophet, who continues to prove that you can be totally in the right about something and still sound like an utter boob:

"If you were in the game in the last 20 years, there's a 95 percent chance you were knowingly using something,'' Canseco said. "I said 80 percent back then because that was the number of players that I knew were on. But that number was greater.''

This translates roughly to, "That number I pulled out of my ass a few years back is smaller than the number I'm pulling out of my ass right now."

Canseco says MLB facing bigger issue [ESPN]

As everyone will gladly point out, 2003 was Ortiz's first season in Boston. It was also the season he saw a significant improvement in his stats. He set then career highs in HR and RBI and saw his .OPS jump about 130 points. This is also the first time Manny has been connected to the 2003 tests, even though he was suspended 50 games this year for the same offense. They join Barry Bonds, Alex Rodriguez, Sammy Sosa, Jason Grimsley and David Segui as the players who have been outed from the infamous list of 104 violators.

Ortiz offered no comment when asked about it today, but in February he was quoted saying that those who violate baseball's drug policy should be suspended for a full year. And yes, the lawyers who gave this info to the Times, have quite possibly broken a law.

Ortiz and Ramirez Said to Be on 2003 Doping List [NY Times]

UPDATE: From the Boston Globe: "One of the worst fears of Red Sox fans has apparently come true this afternoon."

Report: Ortiz, Ramirez said to be on 2003 doping list [Boston Globe]

Ortiz told reporters that he plans to have his vision checked—not because there's anything actually wrong with his vision, or because he's having headaches or dizzy spells. For all he knows, he's in perfect eye health. But he's so desperate for an answer to his flailing bat that he has to try something.

You know what? I've been thinking about getting my eyes checked, for real," said Ortiz, who occasionally wears glasses. "There have been some situations that something has happened to my eyes, my vision. But I'm planning on getting my eyes checked out sometime soon . . . just to make sure.

"We get our eyes checked every year. I'm 20-20. Go and check it out. It's not anything big. I will, though. I seriously will."

If that doesn't work, he'll try acupuncture, then crystal therapy, and if all fails ... trepanning.

Ortiz still looking for an answer [Boston Globe]

The Boston Globe says that Ortiz insists he's "better than ever" physically but hinted at some sort of dark cloud following him in his personal life:

"People don't know," Ortiz said. "Sometimes they think we just come here to play baseball and that's it. We're human beings like everyone else. We have things to worry about.

"Sometimes that gets in the way. It's hard to have that free open mind you need to play this game. There's no way you can play this game with a busy mind. No way."

Sounds like somebody has a case of the Greinkes. But Busy minds don't make productive players and, finally, the Red Sox realize that it's time to shutdown the Papi express for an extended period of time until he gets his head right. Also? They've got eyes for the Nationals' Nick Johnson, apparently.

Papi's Power Struggle [Boston Globe]

Via Red Sox Monster:

Boston Red Sox star David "Big Papi" Ortiz and his wife Tiffany have donated their bed, with the headboard autographed by the slugger, to Boston Health Care for the Homeless Program (BHCHP). On September 17, the nonprofit will begin the auction of the king-sized bed, as part of its League of Our Own campaign, the final leg of its $42 million capital campaign. The money is funding the organization’s new home in the South End, Jean Yawkey Place.

I wonder; by purchasing this bed, will I then dream the dreams of Big Papi? I imagine that I would; and they would be large, boundless dreams, with possibilities that stretch to the horizon. And making love in the bed would not be a chore, but a privilege, and would produce large, strapping sons. Someday I would explain to them that yes, you were conceived in Big Papi's bed. And my sons would go out into the world, armed with that knowledge, and see a therapist two times a week.

Big Papi's Bed Is Now Helping The Homeless [Red Sox Monster]

"Oh yeah, oh yeah," said Ortiz. "Papi knows when the ball is gone, but I guess Mother Nature doesn't want me to hit it out tonight. The wind was blowing really hard tonight."

White Sox pitcher Contreras fell to the ground in the second inning after attempting to cover first. The official word is that he's out for nine months. Dice-K got his 13th win of the season while Boone Logan took the loss and probably a ticket back to the minors. The series stands split with the rubber match later today.

• Astros' longballer Carlos Lee is out 6-8 weeks after getting hit by a pitch in Houston's 3-1 win over Cincinnati. Lee has 28 home runs this season and leads the league in RBI's with 100. Lee is on the 15 day for now with a broken pinky.

• The Twins have found themselves in first place, following an outstanding outing by Liriano and a late game offensive surge by the Twins. Their 7-3 win over the Royals included a 5 run sixth inning following a two run homer by Delmon Young in the second. The Twins were able to take first place in the division after the White Sox loss to Boston.

• Things turned ugly when Phillies manager Charlie Manuel headed out to the mound to pull Brett Myers from the game. After having words on the field, the two continued to quarrel nose to nose in the dugout. Myers had a stellar game before that, allowing only one run and five hits in just over seven innings. The Phillies went on to win 4-2 and Manuel and Myers kissed and made up after the game.

Over sushi no less!

James Woods, star of the hit CBS television show "Shark" and Red Sox slugger David Ortiz [were spotted] noshing on some sushi and other Asian creations at Shrine at MGM Grand at Foxwoods.

We can't fathom what those two would have to talk about it, but because it's a slow pre-NBA finals today, allow us to revisit our favorite James Woods story. We have no doubt that, in the future, David Ortiz and James Woods will continue to keep America safe.

Big Papi Has James Woods [Red Sox Monster]

Of course Monday's real star was Manny Ramirez, whose two-run homer — career No. 493 — led a three-run rally in the ninth. Hmm, the Red Sox staging a comeback from a large deficit to overtake the Indians? Sounds very familiar, but I can't place it ... . It was the 132nd career homer at Progressive Field for the former Indian, who hit it off of Joe Borowski, who led the AL with 45 saves last season.

• A-Rod Mingles With the Stars. Meanwhile, with Derek Jeter back in the lineup, the Yankees beat the Rays 8-7 as Alex Rodriguez rubbed shoulders with the great Ted Williams and Willie McCovey, one of whom is dead, so that was kind of weird. It was homer No. 521 for Rodriguez, tying him with Teddy Ballgame and Stretch for 15th on the all-time list. And when you account for cattle steroids, corked bats and such, it puts him in 11th place. Robinson Cano, who is also not dead, had a pinch-hit homer in the eighth for the winning run.

• Big Unit Back In Stock. Now let's head over to the NL, where Randy Johnson returned to great fanfare for the Diamondbacks! And he pitched well (seven strikeouts, four walks, three hits over five innings). But the Giants won it 5-4, when reliever Chad Qualls gave up a run-scoring groundout to Ray Durham and a sacrifice fly to Bengie Molina in the seventh. After a 1-6 start, SF has won two straight and is is 6-8.

• Can You Hear Me Now? Whoa, what's going on with the Athletics? Greg Smith, making his second Major League appearance, gave up one run and six hits over seven innings to lead a 2-1 win over the White Sox at U.S. Cellular Field, where the gametime temperature was 42 degrees. (Not much better in the Bay Area, where it was 54 in San Francisco.)

• Messing With Texas. Ervin Santana entered Monday's game with Texas with a 1-4 record and an 8.92 ERA in seven career starts in Arlington, then gave up three runs in the first. So it goes without saying that he went on to get the win as the Angels prevailed, 7-4. Mike Napoli homered as LA handed the Rangers their fourth straight loss.

And of course as you probably know by now, the war of words between Manny Ramirez and George W. Bush has begun. Lord have mercy on us all. Interpreters for both sides are standing by.

Big Papi Takes A Ride In The Sidecar [Sox And Dawgs]
Manny: I Won't Vote For Bush [Wicked Good Sports]