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You'll Love <i>Ad Astra</i> If You Just Want To Spend Two Hours In Space With A Sad Guy
Ad Astra is a movie principally concerned with two questions: How do you cope with and overcome the psychological trauma of turning into your taciturn, emotionally remote father? And what if space turns out to be mostly bullshit?...
<i>Once Upon A Time In Hollywood</i> Is A Fun Movie About Making Shit Up
In 1992, when I would have been 11 years old or so, I went with my family to the theater to see the movie Radio Flyer, starring Elijah Wood and the annoying dinosaur enthusiast kid from Jurassic Park (Joseph Mazzello) as brothers in an abusive household in... probably the late 1950s or early 1960s? ...
Let's Catch Up On The State Of The Marvel Cinematic Universe In Time For <i>Avengers: Endgame</i>
Hello friends! As you’re well aware by now, Avengers: Endgame opens in theaters this weekend, finally bringing to a—uh, well, not a close or a conclusion, but uh like some kind of large-scale branding transition for Disney and its Marvel Studios subsidiary, where they will arbitrarily plant a flag a...
<i>Uncle Drew</i> Probably Shouldn't Exist, But Definitely Isn't Bad
It is not a new or strange thing for professional athletes to want to be seen as more than the sum of their athletic achievements, and you don’t need to be a professional athlete to understand why. For the athletic portion of their strange hothouse lives, these people—normal humans, except for the ...
<i>New Yorker</i> Film Critic Has Reservations About Children's Movie Because His Boner Kept Blocking The Screen
Have you seen Incredibles 2? If you liked 2004's The Incredibles, about a family of superheroes in a sort of midcentury-modern-flavored alternate universe America, you’ll likely enjoy its sequel very much. As you might expect from any big-budget sequel it’s a little less fresh than the original and ...
<i>Hereditary </i>Will Completely Fuck Up Even The Most Seasoned Horror-Movie Watcher
My favorite genre of fiction, in books and stories and movies and probably even television shows, is horror. I love horror. I watch horror movies all the time. I stay up late after my wife goes to bed so that I can watch more horror movies, even though it means that I sleep terribly. My worry with H...
<i>Annihilation</i> Will Creep You All The Way Out
If you saw the trailer for Annihilation and got hyped to watch Natalie Portman spend the movie kicking ass with a machine gun, mowing down monsters while dispensing action-movie cliches, you won’t get what you want. If you read Jeff VanderMeer’s novel, on which the movie is based, and expected a fa...
Oh No! <i>Infinity War</i>'s Stupid-Ass Rob Dibble Thumb Looking-Ass Villain's Birth Name Is As Stupid As His Other Name, His Head, His Existence
It’s “Dione.” Which I guess is somehow a dumber name than “Thanos” because, uh, it’s traditionally the name of a goddess instead of a male god? I don’t know. He looks like a thumb with Rob Dibble’s face tattooed on it. Comic fans are not nearly embarrassed enough about this....
Some Unabashed Gushing Over The Coolest Scene In <i>The Last Jedi</i>
I think my favorite thing about Star Wars: The Last Jedi is how successfully writer/director Rian Johnson dove into the giant toy box that is the Star Wars universe and started playing. His willingness to repudiate the franchise’s nostalgia industry—to let the past die, as Kylo Ren put it—is what I ...
A List Of Some Of The Times <i>The Last Jedi</i> Told The Older <i>Star Wars </i>Movies To Eat Shit
Needless to say, major spoiler action follows....
Here Is A Short Review Of <i>The Last Jedi</i><em></em>
The Force Awakens was fun on its own merits, and thrilling in a nostalgic sort of way, and the fresh Star Wars youths were charming and compelling where they were supposed to be (Rey and Finn), and darkly charismatic where they were supposed to be (Kylo Ren), and absurdly good-looking and sexy where...
<i>Lady Bird</i> Is As Honest As Teen Movies Get<em></em>
What do you remember about growing up? Was your tenure in high school characterized by grandiose, dramatic blowups and public betrayals, the sort you’ll see in, say, Riverdale? Or was it marked by subtler moments of inner tumult—smoldering angst rather than a bleeding heart? The version of teenage l...
<i>The Killing Of A Sacred Deer</i> Is As Scary As Anything You'll Ever See<em></em>
The scariest movie in theaters this Halloween season isn’t the one where a college kid relives the night she was brutally murdered over and over, nor is it the one in which a homicidal maniac with a god complex designs elaborate games in order to torture and kill his victims, nor is it the movie abo...
What Is <i>Mother! </i>About?
Here’s a question: Should you go see Mother!, the new, polarizing, bearshit-insane film written and directed by Darren Aronofsky and starring Jennifer Lawrence and Javier Bardem that everyone is talking about though apparently no one saw and the few who did see it had no idea what in God’s name was ...
Did Mickey Rourke Juice Up For 'The Wrestler'?
I saw The Wrestler on Sunday, the feel-good hit of 2009 that makes steroids fun again. And speaking of steroids, rumor has it that Mickey Rourke took a lot of them....