Actually, to be precise, he didn't fail it—he refused to take it, which in the totally rational world of international drug testing, counts as a positive. Actually, to be more precise, he refused to take it, then "stormed out of the room in the conference center, kicked a concrete pillar in the lobby, pounded a countertop in the cafeteria with his fists and then vanished into the coatroom." Which also counts as a positive, because if that's not roid rage, I don't know what is.

The reason he was even asked is because chess is trying to become an Olympic sport and therefore, must submit to all the all the rules of the IOC, including their anti-doping program. The only problem is that almost none of the world's top players give a crap about the Olympics and most consider any comparison between their beautiful intellectual pursuit and silly baby games like soccer and badminton to be an insult. Many in the community are furious that one of the world's top players—who clearly wasn't cheating—could be denied the right to compete because of some crazy pipe dream about Olympic medals. (It's unlikely that chess will ever be included in the Games.)

Besides ... how the hell do you dope in chess?

By the way, part of the explanation for Ivanchuk's hissy fit is that they asked him to pee in a cup just moments after he lost a match in the prestigious Chess Olympiad ... to an American! That's like losing in ice hockey to ... well ... an American!

The Great Chess Doping Scandal [Spiegel, via Cheating in Sports: Chess Grandmaster Guilty of Doping">Bob's Blitz]
Olympiad Dresden: The Ivanchuk Files [Chess Base]
The World Is Catching Up With Russia [NY Times]
Let's ban the FIDE [ChessBase]
Photo via

Just as a reminder, here's a brief history of previous Marion Jones doping accusations:

• Her ex-husband, C.J. Hunter (a doper himself), once testified that he witnessed Jones injecting herself with steroids.
• Victor Conte told 20/20 that he supplied Jones with various illegal performance enhancers during and after the 2000 Sydney Olympics.
• Lance Williams and Mark Fainaru-Wada reported that BALCO had provided Jones with some banned substances.

This one doesn't exactly fall into the category of "tragic downfall of once-beloved hero." This one's more in the "no freakin' kidding" category. But, you know, innocent until proven guilty, waiting for the 'B' sample, all of that. I'm sure we're all willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.

M. Jones Failed Drug Test in June [Washington Post]

I cannot account for these results, because I have never knowingly used any banned substance or authorized anyone else to administer such a substance to me. In the course of my entire professional career, I have been tested more than 100 times. All of the tests this season, including the out-of-competition and in-competition tests conducted just before and after the race in Kansas, were negative.

Oh, good, so he has a copy of the "What To Say When You Test Positive" handbook. Surely, there were one or two of those laying around, as his coach, Trevor Graham, was heavily involved with the BALCO investigation. Victor Conte himself wrote to the U.S. Anti-Doping agency, alleging that Graham doped the bejeezus out of his athletes. More details can be found here in this excellent San Francisco Chronicle article.

Anyway, Gatlin faces a lifetime ban from competition, because it's not the first time he's tested positive. They can't ban him from future appearances on Pros vs. Joes, though. So he's got that going for him.

Gatlin nailed for doping [SFGate.com]